Greatest JLA Lines

collected by Michael Weyer

JLA #16

Camelot
Lois Lane: "So, like I saw saying, I found one of those horrible letters teenagers write to their grown-up selves. 'Dear Lois,' it said. 'By now you're probably married with two kids to some stupid guy and you've probably forgotten that you ever wanted to write and have an exciting life like Collette or Dorothy Parker...' You know what? I wanted to write back and tell this girl about my day. 'Dear Lois, wrong kiddo! I've won a Pulitzer. I'm married to Clark Kent, who happens to be Superman, and all three of us have been invited to the moon for dinner. How far out of the atmosphere did Dorothy Parker get?'"
Lois Lane: "Call me Lois, huh? People are gonna think our marriage is in ruins."
Reporter (to Wonder Woman): "Do you have any useful advice for menopausal women?"
Prometheus: "I've thought this whole thing out. You people are in trouble."
Prometheus: "It's like the Garden of Eden. But I suppose that was flammable too."
Superman: "Everybody stay calm."
Plastic Man: "That's easy for Mister Invulnerable to say."
Huntress: "This is for the cameras, right?"
Zauriel: "Sure. Just like the Gulf War. Are we having our first official team-up, Huntress?"
Prometheus: "The key opens a doorway into a quiet little infinity of nothing: The Ghost Zone. I found it so I can call it any stupid thing I want."
Prometheus: "You think you're unbeatable? Maybe I should tell you something else: One of those thirty on disk Batman..is you. So don't patronize me!"
JLA #17

Prometheus Unbound
Lois Lane: "We live in lucky times, Cat. We were born in a world with a Superman."
Prometheus: "I really have to tell you how immensely satisfying this has been."
Prometheus: "I should shoot you right now, purely out of mercy." (Shoots Green Lantern). "There. I just did."
Prometheus: "You know, it's weird hearing you say the name. It's like I've actually made it. Superman said 'Prometheus' and didn't sound scared."
Batman: "Well....That was a humbling experience."
Batman: "If what he's saying is true, he has the skills and ingenuity to defeat the entire JLA. We also have one hundred civilians in immediate danger. I'm taking this seriously."
Plastic Man: "Steel meet Eel!"
Superman: "Save these people first, then I'll do what you want. You owe me that much."
Prometheus: "I don't owe you anything, you pompous monstrosity. You know who I am? I'm the ghost haunting your dream house. See, 'justice' killed my parents. I was...pretty traumatized. I'm sure you can understand."
Zauriel: "Limbo! Great God...his house is in Limbo...Only the dead go there."
Plastic Man (as related by Zauriel): "I love this place. I love these people. Every day is doomsday."
Aquaman: "Is there anyone left who isn't a member of the JLA, Superman?"
JLA #18

Synchronicity
Plastic Man: "Oh, right, I'm your raft. Like I enjoy butt cleavage in my face."
Wonder Woman: "Nicely done. Hephaestus himself would be proud."
Steel: "Yeah, well, tell him I said hello, I guess."
Barda: "Where is the Batman? Who was last with him?"
Superman: "Oh, that right. You're new to the team. You actually expected him to partner up."
Flash: "Colombus-never-found-America worst?"
Martian Manhunter: "Think deeper. Suppose the Big Bang had never happened."
Plastic Man: "Suppose Claudia Schiffer had never married David Copperfield!"
Flash: "Okay, see, this is why if you're not around, we're screwed."
Flash: "He always has all the answers. Don't know what we'd do without him."
JLA #19

Seven Soldiers of Probability
Plastic Man: "Congratulations, Supes...Looks like you're fighting for truth, justice and kidney pie!"
Superman: "So, how do you suggest we find him?"
Martian Manhunter: "I have my ways. I am, after all, a manhunter."
Flash: "All those who've ever seen J'onn angry, raise their hands? That's what I thought."
Oracle: "To knowingly let that happen to the Waynes...It would be huma I mean "
Martian Manhunter: "I know what you mean."
Martian Manhunter: "Being in the JLA is about making hard choices. You heart is strong, Barbara...but your mind is even stronger. Go with it."
Superman: "Odd. Ray, didn't you tell me the lens worked only on you?"
Atom: "What I said was that it worked safely only on me. Other people tend to explode after about two minutes."
Plastic Man: "What?"
Atom: "Don't worry. At the rate reality is breaking down, if we're not back by then we may as well not come back."
Green Lantern: "Wait, I'm confused. If we're smaller than light particles right now, how are we even seeing?"
Atom: "You're not...not in any human way. The five senses become something else entirely at the quantum level. Your mind's doing you a favor. It's processing all this into familiar visuals so you won't go insane. By the way, you're not breathing oxygen either. It's best not to think about it."
Oracle: "I've worked hard to treat what happened to me as an opportunity, not a handicap. I concentrate on the good I can do now that I've been forced to exercise my mind. Despite his evil, J'onn, September had the right notion. Sometimes our only comfort comes from believing that there is no chance. That whatever happens in this world...happens for a reason."
JLA #20

Mystery In Space
Steel: "What is it with you and that Kent guy that he's always breaking your news?"
Superman: "I hadn't noticed."
Steel: "I don't know what's going to drive me nuts first...reliving racial memories or that blasted pinging."
Orion: "You do not understand me. You loss. Out of my way."
Wonder Woman: "Even the Dog of War knows when best to bite."
JLA #21

Strange New World
Green Lantern: "You were counting on all this coming together? Wasn't that one hell of a gamble?"
Adam Strange: "If I'd contacted the Seven Soldiers of Victory it would be a gamble. I brought the Justice League. That's a plan."
Flash: "One guy against an entire race of invaders...and he beat them by outthinking them. And I thought Batman was good."
JLA #22

IT!
Zauriel: "I haven't slept since the dawn of Creation. I didn't want to miss any more dawns that good."
Superman: "Have we met before?"
Sandman: "Perhaps. At night."
Wonder Woman: "How did you get onto the Watchtower?"
Sandman: "I walked."
Sandman: "You're far from the Silver City, angel."
Zauriel: "I prefer the pollution and the noise here."
Green Lantern: "Wishing ring? I never thought of it like that."
Superman: "What kind of rules do can we possibly expect here?"
Sandman: "Do you come with a rulebook into the waking world, Superman? You have been here many times."
Superman: "That's what worries me."
Green Lantern: "What could I possibly know that (Hal Jordan) didn't know?"
Sandman: "Fear. You will surpass him."
Superman: "We have no powers, there are millions of them and there's a child in there who needs us to save the world. Let's go."
JLA #23

Conquerors
Aquaman: "It just blinked."
Flash: "We don't know exactly what these things are, but----"
Orion: "Cosmic mutations spawned from the eternal slurry of the old universe."
Flash: "Ah...whatever. We could use your help..."
Zauiel: "The fish and fowl team do the impossible!"
Aquaman: "Zauriel, I owe you my life but don't ever call us that again."
Superman: "Did we do it?"
Flash: "We're the Justice League, Superman. What do you think?"
Narrator: "IT comprehends at last the truth all conquerors learn. There's always someone bigger than you are."
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