Japan Memoirs?

Three years of my life in Japan. It has to mean something, especially now that I'm leaving. The memories, the experiences, the insights, the frustrations--are countless. If I had to put it all down in writing in some way, I guess this is how I would do it...

July 1995-July 1998

My first and only glimpse of Mt. Fuji bathed in a Tokyo sunset, far way out the bus window as I drank in everything I could upon first arriving in Japan...the suffocating intensity of August heat and humidity as we lugged our bags from the ritzy Keio Plaza Hotel to the train station...my first ride on the shinkansen (bullet train)...arriving in Kobe and hearing how the Board of Education supervisor walked four hours to and from work every day after the earthquake...

The teachers at my first school showing me how to turn on the gas and operate the washing machine in my apartment...turning on Bob Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks" as soon as they left; I was home...living in an apartment by myself...no rommates...first time ever...great...parties and dancing on the tatami with other foreign friends, the indescribable release of pent-up gaijin energy...my great Uncle Bob dies...my first big fat paycheck...

Heart-warming welcome speeches from kids at my first school...not understanding anything, and sometimes pretending not to understand anything...my 27th birthday, the secretary at my school brought a cake and flowers to the teacher's volleyball tournament we played in that day...the trauma of getting groped on the train--twice!...the Bad Pumpkin Boys, apathetic ninensei (second year students) who couldn't care less about Halloween or anything else...my first Sports Day...letters from home...my first Culture Day...my grandmother's really sick...time...on my hands...to think...and be...and become..

My first trip to Southeast Asia, didn't tell my school I was going to Thailand with Tuey in the middle of November...my first momiji (autumn leaf viewing) with Mayumi in Kyoto...trying to feel Christmas in Japan...changing schools...Christmas Day and dinner with foreign and Japanese friends at my place in Okubo...mom for o-shogatsu (Japanese New Year)...

The coldest, longest, most depressing winter I've ever spent...breaking up, little by little, with Gary in San Francisco...second-stage culture shock blues...new school, great kids, great teachers...back to Thailand...new dreams...travel-travel-travel...my first nyugakushiki (entrance ceremony for first year kids)...where it all begins, the indoctrination of Japanese cultural values...elementary school visits...karate lessons...eating lunch with six year-olds...turning our eyelids inside out to be as disgusting as possible...cold stew lunch...smiles, holding hands, playing dodgeball...

Watching videos with Susan...my senpai, my "Japan mentor" and best friend in Japan...learning to sing "Ue o Muite Aruko" (the Sukiyaki song)...fewer letters from home...my first ohanami (cherry blossom viewing)...not understanding Japanese....understanding... not understanding...meeting Masaoka, a widowed taxi driver...a quiet friendship and trips to Shikoku, Nara, Hiroshima together...one year in Japan...I had become a senpai myself...

Home for the first time...I was staying another year...Mayumi and Kazu expecting in December...school trips...watching the old Japanese people harvesting the rice fields in the sun-baked early autumn...my first speech in Japanese, My Nihon, at Edayoshi Elementary School...Saturday nights and lazy Sunday mornings spent at Mayumi and Kazu's...

My second momiji...beginning to feel the profundity of the changing of seasons...school events...crazy enkais (after-work drinking/eating parties) with Japanese teachers...karaoke...(very) secret crush on a (very) married Japanese man...loneliness...happiness...understanding Japanese...not understanding...

Indonesia...the most incredible journey I'd taken yet...by myself...on my own...in a strange, exotic place...reunion with Tuey in Bali...our 10 year "anniversary"...friends for life...Tatsuya born while I was in Indonesia...finished my TESL certification course...winter nights watching X-Files and videos shipped from home with Susan and Michael (our very own Big Private Man, Okubo friend and neighbor), keeping warm under the kotatsu...eating mikan (Japanese mandarins)...ordering pizza with corn on top...

Making mochi (Japanese rice paste) at Otsukadai Junior High School...love letters from kids...an email address...a homepage...Hawaii with Mom...teacher trips...four days in the mountains with ninensei kids...English conversation every Saturday morning with my group in Okubo...trying to save money...exchange rate sucks...staying a third year in Japan...mass exodus of friends who'd come at the same time as I had...dancing all night in Osaka...last goodbyes...hot summer Sundays at Suma Beach...

Home for the summer...my little brothers are growing up...my sister has become a good friend...another Sports Day, another Culture Day...third year apathy setting in...trip to Bizen with Junko and her husband...Tuesday evening English conversation with her and older women whose real names I never knew...just assumed ones such as "Grace" for Grace Kelly, and "Bettie" for Bettie Davis...

My 29th birthday, two years in a row celebrated at Sizzler, a gaijin favorite in Kobe...my last momiji, a field trip to Arashiyama (Kyoto) with students...finding a quiet spot under a big tree surrounded by a small lake and bursts of red and gold, eating my bento in peaceful solitude...I took a picture of that spot...

Escape, back to Indonesia...he wasn't who I thought he was...

Shipping first boxes home...Tatsuya is walking, he's a beautiful, healthy Japanese baby...final days at Otsukadai Junior High...saying goodbye to graduates..."I won't forget you," they said..."I love you," they said...choking back sobs standing at the mike at my farewell speech at Edayoshi Elementary School...the intent, solemn faces of first-graders staring up at me..."I will never forget how you cried in front of us" an older elementary school student wrote to me recently...the woman at my Edayoshi farewell party who told me I was the first foreign person she'd ever met...she was so happy...detaching from Otsukadai...hugging Tamiya sensei in the teacher's room as I packed up two-plus years worth of books and materials and left for the last time...who would sit next to her now, I wondered...unforgettable farewell party...at karaoke, singing Natsumatsuri one last time with one of my favorite teachers...I loved that school, I loved those teachers...

Meeting a Japanese guy...wishing it had happened earlier...the cherry blossoms blooming again...reminders of time...passing...letters and phone calls from former students...plans to take Chiaki (now in high school) to Maryland for two-week homestay...Okinawa with Mom...my grandfather survives open-heart surgery...getting a man out at second base during a teacher's softball tournament...hand't played since elementary school..the bus driver chatting with me on the ride home from Kande, my new school out in the country..."don't you get homesick?" he asked..."only when I'm sick," I said...he gave me some lemon candy when I got off the bus...

Wanna be a travel writer...wanna go back home...don't wanna go back home...wanna come back to Japan...not sure when I ever will come back to Japan...wanna have kids...someday...still young...I guess...two months to go..."I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end"...wrote a letter to my successor...it's real, it's happening...I'm leaving.

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