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6-12 October 1997
This was a very good week. I got to visit the Baptist seminary here in Tartu, had
some wonderful, real home cooked food and had a simply wonderful couple of nights
out on the town. I still continue to learn a few things in school and this was the
first week that I had completely in Estonian language here at home. Many very memorable events.
The other big thing is that I have once again changed how I am posting my journal
entries. I am still writing my journal mostly in Estonian language, but am posting
only in English. Quite simply it proved to be much
too much work to try to translate everything back into English and type everything
twice. I just do not have the time to do it and do it right. Since 95% of the people
reading this homepage are English speakers anyway, native or otherwise, I think that
this is by far the best way to go. To all of my Estonian friends, I must again apologize.
Back to previous week's entry
6 October 1997
Monday
Today was my first day to only speak in Estonian with my family. We didn't have too
many problems. I was a little quieter than normal but I think that will change soon
once I have a little more practice.
8 October 1997
Wednesday
After classes today I went with Diemo Roller to visit the Baptist Seminary here in
town. It was much nicer than the Methodist one that we had visited in Tallinn. The
facilities were better, the attitude of the staff was better and the program was
much more flexible and in my opinion much more comprehensive.
Following our visit to the school we went to have dinner with Lyndon Viindalass and
his family. Lyndon is an English teacher at the seminary and was the one who had
shown us around. It was a delicious meal and was an especially nice change of pace
from my own standard university student diet of pasta, sausage and Ramen style noodles.
We closed up the night with an evening with the other international students at Heller
and Illegaard.
I think that this may become a weekly activity.
9 October 1997
Thursday
Today I was very tired from yesterday. I went to sleep very early. I bought a new
kampsun, a traditional Estonian hand knit wool sweater, and a new pair of wool gloves.
Just too much going on... This is so much fun.
10 October 1997
Friday
My first international date night here in Estonia. A good time was had by all...
12 October 1997
Sunday
I attended Peetri (St. Peter's) Church with Diemo Roller. It was a horrible service.
There were almost no people in the church. The few people that were there did not
sing any of the hymns, did not say anything during any of the liturgy, and there
was absolutely no feeling of the spirit. The only good thing that happened was that I met
Diemo's friend Kristi, who studies veterinary medicine at the agricultural university
here in Tartu. We had a great talk and went to a cafe together after the service.
After the service we tried to visit the church Sunday school but the director was
not at all welcoming so we beat a hasty retreat. It's incredible. Every time that
I have investigated the Lutheran church, or any church really, outside of the simple
act of worship, I have been very put off. It's almost as if the "what do you want?" attitude
pervades the church everywhere in this country. I'm afraid that part will have to
change if the Estonian church is going to succeed in reaching out to the people as
a whole. If I, someone who knows and loves the church, am put off by them, just imagine
the experience of someone who does not have any idea about the church. I honestly
think that if today had been my first time to visit the church I would not be going
back. Incredible, simply incredible.
I am really starting to wonder. I would love to serve the Estonian church, but every
experience that I have with it is more and more off putting. I have yet to find a
truly comfortable situation here where I would feel comfortable serving and spending
the rest of my life. I don't know whether this is just my own personal biases getting
in the way or whether there is truly something different and bizaare about the church
in this country that is intrinsicly different from what I believe and desire in my
relation to God and the church. Maybe some day I will find exactly what I am looking for,
but until I do I must admit that my most positive experiences in Estonia have been
far removed from the church of the Lord, an experience that I am not particularly
proud of.
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