I was born blond haired and blue eyed, though now my hair is brown and my eyes green. Such things are not uncommon among mortal men, and I have a bit of the chaos in me. My Story begins even before I was born. I know not the fullness of it as the details are clouded in time and my mother, understandably, prefers not to revisit those unhappy days.

There was a plot in the courts which, word has it, involved my mother and King Oberon of Amber. So was my brother Mikal engendered. The plot did not quite go as planned and some unspecified time later Anna, my mother Anna Karenina that is, was forced to flee the consequences. Her escape required that she essay the Logrus, an arduous thing at the best of times. The exertion and madness of the Logrus is a hard thing to bear, my mother, strong woman that she is, recovered quickly. I, in my second month of gestation, did not fare so well. I was carried, kicking and screaming from the courts and did not cease my wailing until we had flown well beyond the black zone. Those were troubled times. Throughout my childhood I feared our enemies and death at their hands, but even more did I dread the slimy madness, the insubstantial touch of the Logrus when we were forced yet again to flee.

In the years since then, after the trouble died down, I have often returned to the Ways of my House. Tmer rules now, since the death of Rolovians, my maternal Grandfather. Indeed my first sane memory of Chaos was the gathering of Jesby to mourn the death of the Prince and to celebrate Tmer's ascension. There was little celebration for me however, Jesby had scant use for a disgraced daughter and her bastard son. There was no objection to my desire to live in shadow. I had no real family besides Anna who, once I was old enough, was often away attempting to repair her status in the Courts. Sometimes I would return there, to visit my mother and the family. I do not like to be too long in Chaos, but I can stand it for a short time provided the Logrus is not much in use. Mainly I return to visit family, but also to move in appropriate circles. Even though I have no place in the succession, no rank of note, it is still valuable to remain informed and to be aware of the ways of the Courts. Most of my relatives are courteous, a few are rude or boorish and some are charming, but most I have little contact with. Tmer leads the house well. He is strong and wise, crafty in politics and clever in trade. I like him and he is civil to me. Because of this I make a point of passing on some of the things I see in my travels. I may not be the next in line but I still want Jesby to remain strong. Tmer's brother Vonnigg is younger and a little headstrong, but he likeable enough. Bussar is cold and aloof, I hardly know him, although his son Kendall I know, he is a close friend Yattaf, second son of Tmer. Both bullied me when I was young, now they restricted to unkind words, neither wishing to be thrashed again. I hope as he matures Yattaf becomes more like his elder brother Tarrant, who is much like his father, though a little more easy going. Chrysabel, she is Tmer's youngest, is younger than I and an adorable wee thing. When first I began to travel I would bring her dolls and toys, now that she is older she prefers clothes and jewellery. She is now cutting a broad swath through the young gentlemen of chaos, and more than once one of her brothers, a cousin or I has fought a duel on her account. Vonnigg has three children Cymelle, Karin and Paul. I do not know any of them well. My aunt Rebecca, I do not suppose to say I know her well, but we talk often and I value her counsel. She is deep and subtle, a very competent woman who is more use to Tmer than either of her brothers. She hides this behind the veneer of a frivolous socialite, which I mind not at all as her parties are amongst the best in Chaos and I can always count on an invitation.

Chaos is a large place. The lords and ladies innumerable. I have met hundreds over the years, far to many to mention, but there are a few that deserve note. Gilva, a truly beautiful woman who is more than competent with a blade. An irresistible combination. We have fenced a few times, danced a few more. Mandor has a style all his own. To be invited to one of his banquets is a signal honour, and unfortunately rare. Merlin is interesting, a nice guy and a talented artist, though I try not to say so around Mikal. I think their rivalry is mostly for show, but then these artistic types can be so touchy.

When I came of age I was, of course, expected to assay the Logrus. I would not. Could not. My fear of it's touch, it's madness too strong. I had not, living mainly away from the Courts, even mastered my shape. There was to be no redemption for my mother in the advance of her son. I know she wished for a better child than I, though she did not speak of it except occasionally in anger when her dealings in Chaos had gone awry. Instead I turned towards our ancient enemies in Amber. If Chaos repulsed me, perhaps I would find Order more to my liking. Anna sought for me a crystal which would guide me along the pathways of shadow. It's course was slow and uncertain, but I had trump and my skill with a blade to fall back on and at last I had the freedom to seek my own path. It was a long time before I was comfortable with the ways of shadow, longer even until I was able to replace the crystal with another that did not reek of the pit.

I travelled far. To Amber and back, and many of the places in between. I visited shadows of space, of magic, from the most fabulous to those of utter desolation. My talents, it seemed, lay in battle for while I studied several sorceries and became proficient with a few minor enchantments the drudgery of long study and casting did not draw me as did a brilliant strategy or perfect riposte.

Battles aside, I had less luck with my desire to know Amber. I could see no way to become known without great risk. I was sure my heritage, poor as it was, would not stand me in good stead in that realm. My plan then became to join the nobility. I sought a place some distance from Amber where the shadow opened in the multitudes, conquered it, then walked the paths until the ways opened to Amber and the realms thereby. Soon I had wealth and power, caravans and fleets enough that my merchants became known in the surrounds and eventually in the true city. I did not do this alone, many of my agents I recruited from shadow, where previously I has led in battle, now I lead in trade. Still, with the political climate in Amber, it was not yet time to become personally known to the royal family. My lieutenants were able and could attend to business in my absence, so I freed myself of my daily duties and took to horse.

I travelled once more, visiting my family, refining my skills in shadow. And then came the change. I noticed creatures of the pit, the very trails of Chaos far from their normal borders. I travelled far seeking their cause. The road, the circles, these were startling things, but when first I saw a Pattern, beyond the realm of Amber, I knew amazement. There was a crack, dark and foreboding, running like a path to the very center. My first thought was to find some people of shadow, or a minor creature of the pit, and use them to test this new thing. But a feeling came upon me, that this place was known to few, a great resource that I did not wish to share. Weeks I spent there, watching, testing, coming to know the feel of the thing. The blue lines, those walked by a prince of Amber, would spark and push me away if I got too close. I did not dare to force my hand against that resistance. The dark path however was cold and firm. It did not resist my step. It should have been easy to walk it to the center. It was not. It was not a resistance, a difficulty, a contest, more an enfolding darkness, groping along the edge of a chasm in the dead of night. Not to become lost, not to stumble over the edge and be swallowed by the darkness, that was the challenge. When I had reached the center I felt a new power upon me. In many ways it was similar to the path of the crystal, walking in shadow as do those of Amber, a little slower, a little less certain, but now at least the power was mine. I spent some time talking by trump, learning what I could of Pattern. I spoke to Anna, Tmer, a few others, though I did not tell them yet what I had discovered. But their cagey replies and the sight of the flaw, the circles and the black road reminded me once more why I had set to travelling.

I knew not what plot was being hatched back in my homeland, Anna either knew not or would not say. I resolved myself to play my part. I had not come this far, to the other edge of the universe to have Chaos follow me so easily. I sought a place where the taint was strong and set myself against it. I was young yet, my eyes a deep blue, hair still fair though darkening. I took the name of Lance from a legend of the place called Lorraine and lent my sword to he who ruled there. The Chaos was strong and gave me no quarter despite my blood, I would have fallen had not the dark angel borne me from my fate. He, Corwin. I remember the feel of him, the blue warmth of his Pattern blade almost palpable, the hiss of fiery blood as the demons died. I owe him my life, my thanks, my friendship. I have not seen him since that day, when finally, having slain the demon he travelled on. Knowing me, perhaps, for no more than a shadow.

The war followed, I did not fight further. House Jesby was not at the forefront of the battle so I did not need to defend family or honour. Nor was I yet close enough to Amber to be asked to their side. There followed the storm and the world was made anew. Delazny survived. Random became king in Amber. My mother's position in the Courts finally began to improve, possibly at the expense of those who has supported the war against Amber. I set about my affairs in Delazny, political, mercantile, amorous. All was well. Yet after a time I felt the desire to again test my wits, my sword. I returned to Chaos, briefly, to support my mother's cause. To remember the feel of the place, the movements of the plots, to fight a duel or two. With my history, ancestry, absence from the courts, there were many young fools who thought that my lack of Logrus made me a weakling. Perhaps on an open field they would be right, but in the noble constraints of a duel I had their measure.

I had Starshine too. A sword I had forged from the silvery scales of a moon dragon. The first I had slain. Enchanted it was, by a master out of shadow. Gareth, a Lord in his realm, somewhere near the center, about halfway between Amber and Chaos. He made many things, some, if I asked, he made for me. Starshine was the first, my sketch book the second, many more he has made in the years since, but only these two I had with me when first I essayed the Broken Pattern. He grew in skill, in knowledge. Later I had him add new enchantments to Starshine, in return I taught him the sword, lent him skill as a general, lead my merchants to his door. In time we became friends, we two apart from Amber, apart from Chaos. But I get ahead of the tale.

I chose to leave Chaos after a time. There was Relfer, some distant son of Hendrake who fancied himself a swordsman. I was forced to kill him, then wound his interfering brother Torset as I made my way from the field. Yes, it was a good time to leave the Courts for a while. I travelled in shadow seeking battle, each a little more difficult than before. I found a battle, guns, artillery, light armour. Some twenty thousand men in the field, fifty against us. With a thought of shadow and a stroke of my pen I became their general, replacing the one my bullet had felled, and took charge of the defence. The opposition were winning, confident, so I let them press the attack, extend, and fall. My commandos silenced their artillery, ambushes cost them their advance units, their scouts. In two months the tide had turned, for the first time my army held numbers over them. We pressed out advantage only to die. My own strategies turned against me, with skill and daring. Their cannon returned to life. A new commander stood upon the field and he held the day. Inch by inch they forced us back. I could see nothing but defeat. In desperation I mounted a covert raid. I, with a few trusted men to watch my flank. We moved into their camp by stealth, crept to the commander's tent. I lunged with a dagger toward his sleeping form to find my thrust met with a sword, a long and deadly blade. We fought and in this arena, as on the field, he held the advantage. When again I could see inevitable defeat I spoke, "I have come to seek terms". He chuckled and put up his blade. The next day the treaty was signed. He had won the day, no more blood need be spilled. Afterward we spoke, I, Kaylem of Jesby and he, Bleys of Amber. The defeat was sweet. To lose to a superior foe is galling, but less so than to fight badly. To meet a prince of Amber, perhaps become his friend, that is a jewel beyond price.

We speak often Bleys and I, sometimes we fence, occasionally I command for him, sometimes even at his side. He is careful though. None of his kin are to know, so he will not introduce me to Amber. I was disappointed not to be able to pursue my ambitions in Amber. Worried also. If Bleys did not wish it known we were friends, then it is likely he has plans. Plans that could involve asking something of me that would not be popular in Amber. Supposition only, but I will stay alert.

As it turned out I was soon to have my introduction, and from a very unexpected source. There were new faces in Amber. Three new princes who became embroiled in some plots. There was some scheme involving Chaos, several children of Amber and undoubtedly an Elder or two. It never came fully into the light and truly I do not care. What matters is that in response to some of the trouble and to still the political wrangling a treaty was signed between the Courts and Amber and to strengthen the bond there was to be a royal wedding. Anna, my mother, was to marry Calvin of Amber. I was a little aside from the celebrations. A bastard son was not of import to the treaty or the marriage, but my presence proved a slight embarrassment. Most often I was introduced as a kinsman. We never lied exactly, just failed to mention the truth. That bothered me little, as at least I was acknowledged kin, had cause to come and go. Now, with the treaty, I sent official ambassadors from Delazny to build trade with Amber.

No. Being only `kinsman' to my mother was of little import as she knew me as a son. What hurt was Mikal. I think I found out by accident. A chance comment overheard, a slip of the tongue or some such. Mikal was my brother. Family I had never known .My hands were tied. He was not to know. So close and yet so far. I loved him, and hated him too. He, a prince of Amber and I a mere bastard from Chaos who could not even find the spine to walk the Logrus. Still, he was handsome, charming, talented. He had everything, and an ego to match. Ah. Mikal.

Though I could not call him brother I resolved to know him. I visited Amber as much as was seemly. Met with what royals I could. Sometimes I think I spent more time with the ladies of Amber than I did looking to Anna and Mikal. Call me weak. I will offer the point of my blade. My drawing improved much under his eye. Often would I return to Amber with sketches from my travels, then on a later visit have him surprise me with a trump of the very spot. A marvellous skill. Perhaps one day I will study it in earnest.

One time I returned to hear that Mikal, my stepfather Calvin and Alain, another prince, were missing. I was worried, but not unduly so. None the less when I finally learned what had kept them so long from Amber I felt compelled to visit the place. It was a shadow called `The Game'. A creation of Alain, the strange one, and indeed the shadow was strange just like him. I have always had visions, portents, hunches. They are common in Amber also. Something to do with the blood, or the cards. But in this place I really saw. I was what they called a seer, although not a very good one. Strange yes, but interesting. I travelled there several times, hoping to see what Mikal did there. Thus I was informed and at hand when the Maelstrom hit, amongst the first of the Jesby to fight there against the demon Randall. My experience gained me a command of some of the forces when Chaos assaulted in earnest. Amber managed to hold the winning hand and avoided the embarrassment of having Chaos help clean their nest. Even so my troops saw battle more than once. It was a trying time, especially for those of Amber as the danger came from their own sons, or so rumour has it.

One good thing did come of it. Some time around then Anna finally acknowledged Mikal as her son. I think this was to quell Calvin's jealousy or some such peccadillo on his part. Finally I had a brother. My own bastardry was not public knowledge until a while later, after the death of Mitzi I think. It matters not. Mikal knew I was his brother, that is what counted. We got along well enough, Mikal and I. My presence in Amber became more frequent, and with reason none could protest. Mikal has a pleasant estate in near to Amber and Delazny is only a short journey. The domestic bliss did not last for long though. Just when the marriage seemed to be working out, Calvin proceeded to act like a spoilt psychopathic brat. He eventually made the estrangement final when he killed Mitzi. I believe Mum made him suffer for that one. I am not sure if there is hope for a reconciliation, for while there has not yet been a divorce due to the constraints of the treaty Anna is not often in residence at Amber. I see her more often in Mikal's estate than I do in the castle.

Time passes. Things happen. I need not relate every day. Despite my best efforts there would be many gaps. Of the notable events, the most significant would have to be the assault on Amber. There must have been many dark plots behind that and I, unfortunately, was not in a position to fight for either side. Mikal was somehow involved. Sometimes I think he has a hand in every scheme, or at least he has overheard it somewhat. Trump. His art. Dangerous and subtle things. I knew to be wary, more so with what my brother has taught. This brings us almost to today. Except for lord Feldane and, of course, the new children.

Feldane I met in Amber. Where else. A personable gentleman with exquisite taste. I like his dry sense of humour, his keen mind and sharp business sense. Perhaps not a companion for an evenings carousing, although on occasion I can convince him to host a grand ball. His estate is a delightful place although it's neighbours leave a little to be desired. We met for the third or fourth time when one of my caravans ran afoul of some bandits in a neighbouring realm. We trailed them to their camp and killed them to a man, then I rode ahead to inform him of the raiders. The safety on those paths is much improved since he and I spent some time in dealing with the bandits. Feldane's house was once on the decline, but his notable skill in the Pattern Fall war increased his status and some business ventures he and I have invested in recently have done much to improve the financial position of his house. This is a great boon as now he has the wherewithal to continue to expand his already impressive library.

New children are always interesting and I may claim the distinction of being one of the first to find them. Earth is an oft visited shadow and I have spent quite some time there. One time I spent several years as a musician, named Morrison I believe. Eventually I desired to move on, so the poor fellow died of a drug overdose. Tragic. On this occasion I was in Japan practicing my calligraphy and trying to find some nice silks. I also had my eye on an ancient katana and some fine lacquer ware. My stay was proving to be pleasant and not other duties called so I hung around for a while. I had recently come from the Game where I had convinced Alain to let be borrow a new shape shifting device he had created. I have for some time been considering, on and off, trying to develop my skills with shape. At the moment they are almost completely latent although one I grew claws in a fight and my eyes have been known to change colour when I am especially happy or upset. Still I am not sure. It might be that shifting would be too chaotic for me to enjoy. I have used a simple item for some time and find I like flying as a bird. Disguises are often useful and I consider it more in terms of disguise than true shifting. Alain's amulet is much closer, so he tells me, to the actual shifting of the Courts. I admit I found it disturbing and never dared to stretch the device to its limits. I often took it off just to feel normal again and I was a little relieved when he asked me to return it. To return to the tale, I was in shadow Earth, using the amulet to disguise myself when I became aware of a ripple in shadow. I am no master and I know only too well the limitations of my own Broken Pattern, but these children that arrived must have been new to their power, so clumsily did they rend shadow. There was a boy, Mathias, a man actually but he acted more like a floundering child, and his sister Arvada. She proved to not yet have Pattern and had prevailed on her brother to deliver her to Earth. This he did, and departed. I did not see him again for many years. The sister remained and exhibited no power over shadow. I resolved to observe her and so I took the persona of Celeste, a fictitious lady of Chaos, and lived large so as to attract her attention. Beyond the possibility of new children of Amber this girl held an extra attraction. She bore a close resemblance to a girl who had been a ward of Idris, Queen of Kythara, whose shadow is quite near Delazny and an important stop on my trade routes. Mikal also was interested so I took him to Earth so he could see her. Whether he visited again later I am not sure, perhaps he made a trump and spied on the girl. When she finally did act I was distressed that all she desired was to steal my travel amulet and run to Amber. On her return I punished her a little, letting her escape with more pride than she deserved. A mistake perhaps, but I am always a sucker for a pretty face. Later I heard that these two and two more had recently been introduced to Amber and walked the Pattern. The brother and sister are supposed to be children of Dierdre, Alaric, for such is his name, is a son of Eric, which makes him brother to the hated Calvin. Meloche is more secretive. He does not, openly at least, disclose his ancestry.

I had heard hints of strange doings from Bleys, from Gareth also though he did not wish to spread rumours or betray confidences so I did not press him. When later I found that these new children, especially Arvada who I still find pleasing to the eye and is indeed from Kythara, were involved in some strangeness with a Chaos lord who it seems is also known to Gareth, well, I felt compelled to investigate. They were easy to find in shadow, shifting so slowly with that enormous cart. I took another female shape, I find it easier to conceal my own features if the form is greatly different, and contrived to meet them. This new shape, I know not why, provoked a reaction from Mathias. It was unpractised however and before long I knew I would not be able to maintain it without detection so I returned to the familiar Celeste form, much to the disconcertion of Arvada. The scheme appeared to involve reaching Corwin's Pattern so that they could open the room on the cart. The same room which the Chaos Lord Uler cut from his uncle Hergan's castle. Uler I have never met before although the name Hergan sounds familiar. There were a few incidents along the way. An altercation with that buffoon Molex, some shadow circling that seemed to be the fault of some Chaos lords we saw at a tavern. Then things got really weird. We started to see people and demons fleeing through shadow. One of the figures looked like Dierdre. There was a shadow storm that was starting to look worrying. We never made it that far though. We were gated to the Game for a private interview with Randall, the same demon who had been responsible for the Maelstrom. Fortunately he didn't seem to have any interest in me. Whatever was to happen a Corwin's Pattern needed to be delayed, so here we would stay until the time was right. It was disconcerting being a seer again, especially with all the weight of doom over our heads. I felt dark times in store for Uler, Mathias and Arvada. I hid my knowledge of the Game and with a degree of luck or skill the youngsters quickly found their way to Helen's castle. Since he made it I should not have been surprised when Alain saw through the disguise provided by my amulet, I still have the simpler one from before so I do not bemoan the loss. And finally I could be myself in front of these young Amberites, now that Alain had exposed me. I think it will be a while before they come to trust me at all though, hiding my face will no doubt seem suspicious. Gareth remained in the Game. I am sure he plots revenge on Julian for the attack on his kingdom. I know in his place I would already be choosing Julian his grave. Julian had always seemed a little hard and cold, but until now I had no reason to dislike him. It is difficult too, I can see his position. I would be over zealous myself if I has a son in deadly danger. I prefer not to take sides but my sentiments are with Gareth, he is the closer friend and I believe him when he says he has done nothing against Julian and his son.

Helen gated us out of the Game and Mikal arranged transport to the field of battle. I let the others do the talking as no one has really inquired about my name or family. I spared Mikal a wink when he came to trump us though, to let him know all was well. In the field next to Corwin's Pattern I fought Molex, in Uler's stead. I trounced the buffoon and was pleased to do Uler this service. Molex can always use a good beating, though it would have been a harder fight had he not been so overconfident. Starshine too was a boon. I could feel the surprise in him when he bled and did not heal. The least pleasant part was having to wear the Logrus sword of Uler's uncle Hergan. That is a story in itself. Uler resolved to try his uncle's shape in the hope of opening the room or defeating Molex or something of the sort. It all went awry and the uncle took Uler's body. He went to try the room, then did something else to the thing on Uler's arm. Whatever it was must have been too much for him as Uler fled as a whirlwind. It must have been his Avatar form. I pursued him, Thomas also until his horse tired. Wraxil and I continued alone and eventually Uler slowed, but it was an hour before he returned to normal.

I took this opportunity to have a private conversation with Uler. Before he regained consciousness I trumped us to an apartment I have in a fast Earth. He would have a few more hours to recover and I a chance to speak with him before we would have to return. I spoke a while with Uler as I cooked him a meal. Shifters are often hungry. I did not say anything of note, just a few words to hopefully give him some chance of trusting me, or at least involving me in his schemes. Whatever happens I would like the chance of being on the winning side. He did not know my lineage so I did not say much, but he was especially interested in what little I knew of his Uncle. I suppose he had always known him as uncle Hergan, whereas to the rest of Chaos he was more a legend. After lunch we indulged in some R and R, just a little harmless gambling, brawling and wenching, but a nice break none the less.

Eventually we had to depart. I trumped us back to Wraxil, had Uler pretend to be weak and then trumped us back to the others. From there we proceeded to the afore mentioned fight with Molex. When Molex had fled the field, no doubt vowing vengeance, and his army, Julian's actually, likewise departed. Uler moved the cart closer to the Pattern to observe the effect, then studied the Pattern closely for a while. Mathias and Uler had a protracted discussion which they continued under the canvas on the wagon and ended in the planned throwing of the shadow dupe onto Corwin's Pattern. The Pattern is not a thing to be taken lightly. The shadow did not live long and when the ruby vortex had finally faded there was nothing to mark his passing. The charade had little effect, at least Randall was not taken in. Within moments Mathias was suffering some nameless agony and then almost died at his sister's hand. With some help from the enchantment on the room we were able to subdue the magic on both Mathias and Arvada. Uler and I were able to staunch his wounds and in time they returned to themselves.

It was not over yet. Randall himself appeared, he sent Thomas away and while I largely escaped his notice I none the less suffered the same fate as Uler and the children of Amber. With much chanting did he bring forth the thing in Uler's arm. It grew until it had snared all of the others. I held out a while longer but soon there were enough tendrils that there was no place to run. Even Starshine's bite did not deter them. Uler was launched toward the Pattern, then down through thew center. The lines grew taut and we were dragged after. Dazed I regained my senses amid soft grass and blue skies. Our translation had done what interminable travel through shadow could not, finally the room was unprotected and we were soon inside. There were books in abundance and while I tried not to show too much interest I yearned for more time to read those volumes away from prying eyes. Several I was able to copy into my sketchbook, but they were just a few among many. Also in the room was a whirlwind. Hergan. Uler's uncle. I stayed well away and was not a party to the efforts that finally returned him to himself. I have no desire to draw his attention. Hergan attended to his possessions and then we departed toward Corwin's Pattern, wherever it lay in this realm.

The journey was broken by a brief diversion. Some raiders had sacked a town. Uler disposed of some of them and Mathias had an interest in some chalice in the manor. While they were occupied I spent my time seeing that what raider were left sacked no more.

Paris. Gorgeous. Beautiful despite all the ostentation. I loved it on Earth and this one had that feel of magic about it. I am sure more than one of my companions could not see past the frills and powdered wigs. There is some of the old and the new about this place. I did not notice exactly how it happened exactly, entranced as I was to be back, but soon we were at the castle gates and Uler had become a Marquise. De Sade no less. Baron Jean-Claude rules here. Despite the others' prattlings I am sure here Baron is a most noble title. We sit to dinner at the Baron's table. I keep to myself and try to be invisible. I do not want to be noted by the Baron and perhaps thereby attract Hergan's gaze. I am puzzled however. If this is Corwin's realm why is he not here? I had expected him to rule here. It is perhaps unreasonable to expect him to be here to greet us, or even to be in these shadows. Still, I feel a great disappointment. I would be good to see him after all this time.

Dinner proceeded. There was some exchange between Uler and the Baron but being at the far end of the table I was unable to hear. The Baron also seemed interested by Meloche. At different times the Baron, Uler and his uncle all behaved strangely, so they was something afoot, but I could not fathom it. Dinner was pleasant but rather protracted. Eventually even it came to an end. The others planned, and indeed had begun writing a note, to request audience with the Baron. They were preempted by a message from the Baron himself requiring the presence of Meloche and one other. He chose Arvada. It would seem she was a bad choice. The attempt to trump call them failed and 20 minutes later Arvada returned under guard. She was ushered into our rooms and the door locked behind her. Meloche returned a while later, also under guard. It seems that the Pattern is a sacred thing here and Arvada's request to walk it a sacrilege. Our fate was not bright but our prison was comfortable and less than secure. Arvada flew out the window just as the Baron arrived to question us about our actions. He is suspicious of our reasons for being here and is not inclined to believe the journey was not our doing, especially with two such notable Chaos Lords among our party. Many words are exchanged and Uler's temper is growing notably short, as is the Baron's. The crux of the matter is that it is not his decision to make. It is Corwin's suspicions we must satisfy.

The Baron departs leaving us to prepare for our departure, back to our own world or to our graves, depending on Corwin's judgment. Corwin trumps me as we walk to the final interview. I do not know if my words swayed him. I would like to think he still trusts my word. Were matters otherwise I would have asked to stay a while in his land. Again there is special interest in Meloche. It is he who speaks first and alone with Corwin. What the connection between them is I can only Guess, but Meloche has no avowed parent so perhaps it is Corwin. When the rest of us are shown in Corwin does not look in good humour and is obviously displeased at the presence f the Chaosites. Though he appears not to place me in that group and even acknowledges me, something which does not escape notice even though no one has questioned me on the point, I cannot help but wonder who will share their fate if his will goes against us. Hergan and Uler are either innocent as they claim or more brazen and confident than I had expected. They are outspoken in their defense and present some strong arguments. I doubt that Corwin is convinced but he does agree to provide us with a way home. I am not sure what is going on or what Corwin,s acquiescence means. The most frightening option was voiced by Hergan. What if Corwin is the hidden hand? Considering the possibilities begins to give me a headache so I resolve to follow my feet and fight where I may.

The return journey takes about half a day. I can feel the change in shadow about us, but nothing violent or especially unusual. I suspect Corwin is taking things slowly and carefully so Hergan and Uler discover as little as possible. While the journey was uneventful our destination was not. After the long climb up to the plateau we return to Corwin's Pattern. The familiar one. Beneath the tree was a dining table. Complete with cloth, chairs, silverware and host. He greeted Uler and Hergan warmly. Mandor is a consummate host, but not one with whom I can feel totally at ease because he is as subtle and tricky as he is charming. He called him brother and intimated that Uler has a bright political future ahead of him. Out of the frying pan perhaps. I am sure I would feel safer were I still Corwin's prisoner but opportunities like this are not to be passed by. Our repast was disturbed briefly by that buffoon Molex and a few dozen demons of his acquaintance. I say briefly because Mandor negligently dismissed the demons and either he, Hergan or Uler disposed of the unfortunate Duke.

The assembled children of Amber accept Mandor's invitation to visit his Ways with ill grace and much suspicion, eventually they convinced themselves that they were too afraid to refuse his offer. Or perhaps Arvada did not wish to lose her chance at a cure by separating from Uler and Hergan. Mandor Ways is a charming place. We had plenty of time to explore as Hergan, Mandor and Uler left immediately to work on the cure. It was only a few hours, or days, before Hergan returned to announce the operation a success. He immediately collected Arvada and taken down to the basement. Again we were not permitted to observe, ostensibly to protect the identity of Hergan's Pattern assistant. They are both now recovering. We have not seen Hergan since he showed us down to Arvada. Another day passes. Arvada had recovered and appeared well but Uler was still recuperating.

That evening he was well enough to take visitors so after the usual unruly group I contrived to speak to him alone. If he was truly a candidate for the throne it were best that I ensure that I, and my house, were placed beside him rather than in his path. I have no place in the succession and while Jesby is a powerful house it is unlikely we could take the throne were Swayvill to die. Uler, if he is Mandor's brother is in a much stronger position. I do not want to see any of my kin, even those I dislike, fall to an assassin's blade. I said as much to Uler and I think he approved of my words. Perhaps if the situation calls for it some other pretenders to the throne may fall before my blade, and if this advances my cause, or that of my house, so be it.

The others tried their Trump several times and failed to make contact. Worried they spoke to Mandor who likewise could not reach Amber with the Trump. Later he left them a foreboding message about the cause soon becoming apparent. They decided to wait up in the library, Uler and I chose to retire to our rooms. Perhaps it is just that we two are too old to be afraid of the dark? Or less likely to think we would be safer in numbers.

Mandor was right of course. There was a shadow storm, a big one with traces of Pattern, which disturbed my sleep. The air did not smell quite right and I was unable to return to sleep so I dressed and drew forth my sketchbook. I poured myself a glass and contemplated the storm, occasionally adding a line to the sketch before me. Somehow I find my cards in my hand and a reading on the table before me. I am not central to the cross, but it was my hand that cast the cards so I will not escape the dire portent those few small images hold. I look at the telling, death follows darkness, and my gaze is drawn to the storm outside. I find I lack the courage to cast the trump a second time. I fear to know any further detail. I fear seeing a name among the cards.

Uler also cannot sleep. He comes up and sits with me a while then moves to the library to speak with the others. Later, after the storm has broken the others pass my door as they return to their own rooms. Uler had left the door ajar and Mathias pauses to investigate. Well into my third glass I show him the cards.

By breakfast the storm has washed past us and was lost from sight, with only the trail of destruction to mark it's path. Here, in Mandor Ways, we were never in any real danger. What follows in the wake of the storm concerns me much more than any simple physical danger it might have held, but I cannot help but remember the hint of pattern amid the sharp ozone tang and the sense of loss I felt as it passed. I collect up my sketches and cards to join the others at the table.

I had barely eaten the first slice of fruit before I received Trump. It was one of my advisers, whose call was long overdue. The news he bore reflected darkly on the fortune I had told. Kythara is destroyed and Idris with it. We were not especially close but it is still a blow. He continues to tell of the damage we suffered from the storm and adds, almost as an afterthought, that Gareth is to die tomorrow. Not one friend but two. I walk numbly back to the table, the envelope in my sash all but forgotten. A few wooden words fall from my lips. Pitifully insufficient in describing the tragedy. I have barely emptied my glass and refilled it before Arvada returns from her Trump with the next stanza in the dirge. Dierdre perished in Kythara. After her capture Idris revealed herself as Dierdre and returned immediately to Kythara on some urgent business. The Broken Pattern which I did not know existed there was destroyed and the shadow along with it. Dierdre almost escaped to Amber through Trump but was struck by shards of the Broken Pattern and perished. I lose a friend. Two of my companions lose a mother.

The young Amberlings bid Uler and I farewell and depart to Amber. I, remembering the letter and showing it to Uler, ponder Gareth's fate. Due to the funeral he has two more weeks to live. I feel an utter helplessness. Despite the potential aid hinted at by the letter I know I do not have the power to free Gareth. The best I can do is appeal to the King. Nor can Uler offer any greater hope. He pens a letter on a different subject, that of Prince Ricky, which he asks me to deliver to Random.

I leave the black envelope and some other non-essential in my room. Perhaps Mandor may find it, or Uler reconsider. I can call for it if some startling plan strikes me. I make a short stop in Delazny to reassure my commanders then on to Amber. While no help for Gareth has drifted through my addled brain I did think Corwin. Surely he would desire to attend the funeral of his dearest sister. I get a trump from Mikal and trave to his Pattern. There I practice until I have the range and then lob a message into the very center of the design. He does not contact me but when I return later the message has gone. I throw another and this time receive his call. Though he holds his features immobile I can see the pain in his eyes. One day. Soon. I would like to give or receive some good news.

The funeral is large and solemn. I like the spot they chose for her grave. I am not sure whether I was permitted to join the family at the tomb or if no one noticed me through their grief. I stood at the back and watched as they sealed the door. I do not wish to repeat this experience so on the morrow I begin to prepare a plea to present to King Random on Gareth's behalf. I cannot help but despise the quality of the justice though I keep my word neutral lest I further prejudice the case.

In the following days I hear some small scuffle in the kitchen and of the departure and return of Princes Ricky and Julian. I am glad that he lives even though we have hardly met, but I chafe for other news. But two days before the scheduled execution I receive notice that the sentence is to be reviewed. I caution myself against optimism but the letter did mention other submissions beside my own.

At the appointed hour I take my place. Random is on a throne, Fiona to the left, Benedict and two guards hold Gareth in chains on the left. The proceeding are brief. The sentence is commuted to exile. Effective immediately. Fiona opens a trump to some nameless shadow and Benedict propels Gareth to his fate. He does not answer his Trump, but in his place neither would I as any in Amber or shadow are free to seek his life. I thank Uler and Alaric who also spoke in Gareth's defence, but past them I can see Julian smirking and I wish Gareth had been a little swifter with his blade.

Things move on. Uler offers us the hospitality of his shadow at some unspecified future date, I likewise. There is much to do, repairs to make, answers to find, plots to plan. I depart for Delazny but I shall return.

This, for now, is enough. Much more can be told, but that I shall leave for future volumes.

Kaylem Jesby of Delazny

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