From - Tue Nov  5 16:36:16 1996
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From: Foondoggy 
Newsgroups: alt.surfing
Subject: Re: Why old guys surf
Date: Wed, 30 Oct 1996 16:11:58 -0500
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goob wrote:
> 
> Here is the question.  Why should a middle aged guy, ie over 40, surf? 

Foondoggy's Top Ten Reasons Middleage Guys surf!

10. Cool Clothes: At our age no other sport allows us to be so
fashionable wearing baggy     shorts & shirts, sweatstained ball caps,
and praying mantis rainbow shades.

9. Cool Cars: Living in suburbia living vicariously off of surf movies,
we have no good    reason to own a fully tricked out HUMMER. But if
we're going on a surfari to say,       Central America (or just braggin
about going), then a guy's gotta have the    appropriate wheels. Right?

8. Cool Language: It's not often in our high level business meetings we
get to say,       "Dudes, Mackin, Worked, Housed, Floater, Airs, Kooks."
So surfing allows us to enrich    our vocabulary and syntax.

7. Cool Magazines: Guys get tired of reading Forbes, Money, Fortune and
Golf Digest. The    surfing rags have more pictures, so we don't have to
read, plus once a month you get    a nice butt shot of the Reef Brazil
girls. (Did we mention "Woodie" in the language     part?)

6. Long Boards: Riding the big ones (boards and waves) announces you're
at the top of      the food chain in surfing. They paddle easier, catch
waves sooner, and you don't have    to throw your back out turning them
like you do on those damn potato chips.

5. Travel: There's nothing like a good swell as an excuse to blow off
the weekend    "Honey-do" list and go to the beach.("It's only this good
once a year sweetheart, I     can clean gutters anytime!) For those who
can get away with saying you're going to      some South Pacific island
that has only thatch-roofed huts, no running water or        
electricity and only raw fish for food, having a Tavarua brochure on
your coffee        table has a certain cache to it. Of course, most of
us won't go since there are no      hot tubs or places to buy cigars.

4. Male Bonding: Though not normally a team sport, surfing seems to be
dominated by    guys. So if you're so socially maladjusted you can't
find a girlfriend, there are       plenty of guys out in the break
between sets you can bitch to about women.

3. Virility: Scientific studies by Dr. Peter Amschel have proven
conclusively that
   straddling a surfboard in very cold water causes the gonadal tissue
to contract         and shrivel, thereby stimulating and increasing the
production of testosterone.         Though surfing is a unique activity
in which this occurs, you can always dip your       balls in a bowl of
icewater, but it's not nearly as much fun.

2. Three Words - Chicks love Surfers!

1. Alt.Surfing: A great newsgroup to brag about your surfing exploits,
even if you live    in the armpit of Ohio, and because basically people
who really know you 
   wouldn't believe you anyway.

-Foondoggy ;^)

"They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they
don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much."  -Malcolm Cowley

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