My Favorite Mistake



Title: My Favorite Mistake 1/1
Author:Astrid
Rating: PG/PG-13
Archive: Eclectic Roswell Fanfic
If you want it, please ask first.
Disclaimer: Me no own Roswell or lyrics to Sheryl Crow's My Favorite Mistake
Summary: Tess' POV. What if Max had decided to follow his destiny even though he still loved Liz?
Category: future fic; T/M, L/M, T/K, implied M/M, I/A; AU
Notes / Spoilers: As always, lyrics in italics. Spoilers through "Destiny." Feedback: Craved and greatly enjoyed!



I woke up and called this morning
the tone of your voice was a warning
that you don't care for me anymore

I made up the bed we sleep in
I looked at the clock when you creep in
it's 6 a.m. and I'm alone


Last month, Max and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary. We got married right out of high school, when we were 18. Liz seemed to give up on Max after she ran from him at the pod chamber, when we learned the truth of our destiny. Liz went to stay with her aunt in Florida that summer. She didn't come back for school in September. She decided it was best if she had time to get over Max. She didn't come back to Roswell until a few weeks before our senior year. By that time, Max had given up on Liz and decided that I deserved a chance. We were really happy. Even after Liz came back, Max didn't seem to care much about her. Liz had started dating Kyle again, so I no longer saw her as competition. I didn't think she'd be a threat to my happiness ever again. Although Michael and Isabel had disregarded the whole destiny thing after a brief fling, they supported me and Max. I can't even describe the happiness that I felt when Max proposed to me on Christmas Eve that year. He really was in love with me then. We were really happy those first few years. Especially, right after Cassandra was born. Our little girl. She'll be seven in a few months and she looks so much like Max. I know she doesn't understand why her daddy doesn't always come home at night. Why he always goes on business trips. And yes, sometimes it really is business, but, other times, it's her.

***
Your friends are sorry for me
they watch you pretend to adore me
but I'm no fool to this game

Here comes your secret lover
she'll be unlike any other
until your guilt goes up in flames


They think that I don't know, Michael, Maria, Isabel, and Alex, but I do. And I don't want them to feel sorry for me. I'm a big girl, I'm tough and I know how to take care of myself. Besides, I've had years to prepare for this. And I've known for a while that Max has been cheating on me. That he doesn't love me like he used to. I'm not surprised. Shortly before I got pregnant with Cassie, Max had a brief affair with a girl in Biology class. That was right after Liz and Kyle got married. That was when I first suspected that Max was still in love with Liz. Now I know for sure. She's the reason that Max doesn't always come home. She's his mistress. I don't really understand. She gave him up, she left him. She gave us her blessing when Max and I got married and now she's screwing him, Max, my husband! She and Kyle came back to Roswell three years ago; they hadn't been back in town for two months before Liz and Max started messing around. I feel really sorry for Kyle. I'm almost positive that he has no idea about what's going on between Max and Liz. Or the fact that his two year old son, Parker, is actually Max's two year old son. I don't even think that the others know that Parker is really Max's, but I do, and so do Max and Liz. Everytime I see Parker or touch him, I can see flashes of Liz and Max together. And I'm starting to feel sorry for Max. He seems so old for his age. And I think that all the sneaking around is taking its toll on him. I swear, sometimes I think he's about to confess about his affair with Liz. But until he does, I don't know what to do.

***

Well, maybe nothing lasts forever
even when you stay together
I don't need forever after
but it's your laughter that won't let me go
so I'm holding on this way

Did you know
could you tell
you were the only one
that I ever loved
now everything's so wrong

I still love Max and a big part of him still loves me, maybe that's why I can't leave him. Maybe that's why I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant. But the way his eyes lit up when I told him, it makes me think that there might still be hope for us. He hasn't even been seeing Liz as often; I think that he's actually trying to break it off with her. Kyle and Liz are getting divorced. When Parker broke his arm and healed it, that kinda tipped Kyle off that he wasn't Parker's father. Liz admitting that to him nearly destroyed him. Liz ran to Max to tell him and Kyle ran to me to find out if I knew about them. It's kind of an ironic payback though. Kyle thought that Max's son was his and now Max thinks that I'm carrying his baby.
Kyle was so distraught that night and I couldn't let him leave. Cassie was spending the night at Michael and Maria's, playing with the twins. That night, when Kyle and I made love, I saw flashes of what could have been between us if Liz had come back that summer she went to Florida, if she hadn't decided to leave Max. I realized that night that I wasn't in love with Max. I love Max but I'm not in love with him. That's my justification for my affair with Kyle. That and the fact that I've decided to tell Max that I'm carrying Kyle's child. I suspect that'll hurt him but at least he can be with Liz. They deserve each other. And I deserve someone who'll love me with all of his heart. And I think that Kyle might be the one. He knows that I'm having his baby and in a way, he also sees it as a type of payback. I'll always love Max but not the way that Liz loves him.

***
Did you see me walking by
did it ever make you cry
You're my favorite mistake

It's been four months since I left Max. He and Liz found their way back to one another; they eloped a few weeks ago. Kyle and Cassie and I are sharing the house that I lived in with Nasedo. It has plenty of space for the five of us. Twins, I'm having twins in about a month. Max says that he understands about what happened between me and Kyle and that he doesn't blame us. But I know that it hurts him to know that I betrayed him; one of the people he could always trust. As for me and Kyle, we're taking things slow; we have separate bedrooms. Right now, we're just concentrating on preparing for the twins and the joint-custody hearings. Even though Kyle isn't Parker's biological father, he thought he was for over three years and acted as such, so it seemed only fair to Max and Liz that Kyle get joint-custody. And of course, with Max being Cassie's father, it's the right thing. Isabel and Maria recently asked me if I thought that I'd made a mistake by marrying Max. I said no, because of Max, I have a beautiful 9 year old daughter who I couldn't love more and the two best friends anyone could ever have. And this whole situation has made me stronger. Without all of this, I wouldn't be as human as I am today. But if my marrying Max was a mistake, then it's my favorite mistake.


THE END


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