* Lots of rumors regarding that little promotion recently purchased by the WWF, time to shoot some down. Twenty-four WCWers have been picked up, twenty-five if you count the baby in Stacy Kiebler's belly. No 'support staff', i e refs, agents, ring crew, announcers, writers, or Kevin Sullivans, have been hired or promised a job, producing a big question mark as to whether or not that WCW ref in the Test-Eddy matchup at WrestleMania had any authority whatsoever to call the match. A staff will hopefully be in place within a few weeks, though. The new tentative first tapings date for WCW TV is Saturday, June 9. Remember, it's tentative, underlined by Jim Ross to avoid any possible misunderstandings whatsoever. Last week, he had it both underlined and in bold. To really hammer it home, I think he should utilize every single emphasizing method known to Internet writing. "It's *TENTATIVE*, ya dimwit!" Anyway, you might see a WCW PPV as early as September! Wow, how early! It's not a sure thing, though, so don't be surprised if the PPVs don't come around until 2004, maybe 2005.

* !!! PAGE BREAK !!!

* Several former WCW talent might be given an opportunity to re-join the ranks once their contractual issues have been resolved. A three-hour meeting was held Thursday in regards to the WCW relaunch, and many key WWF staffers were in place. It was very productive, and many laughs were had by all as the possibility of signing Shane Douglas and make him do tricks came up. There's a ton of work to be done, but Jim is confident that the talented WWF folk will be able to turn WCW around, and humiliate some deserving people along the way.

* Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida has not been finalized as the location for WrestleMania X-Eight, no matter what dirty, filthy liars on the web say. It is certainly in the running (as noticable by the very mention of it in the Ross Report), but there needs to be a site survey made before the official decision. I guess they have to see if there are any wacky rooms with golf carts and breakable walls backstage and such things. A WrestleMania in St. Petersburg, by the way? I say they book Barry Horowitz to win the main.

* Jimbo tells us not to expect the Rock back in WWF rings until July or August, after his indefinite suspension at the hands of Vinny MacDaddy on SmackDown! With that info I'd say it isn't quite so indefinite, but let's not get too involved in semantics. Anyway, there is no talk whatsoever -- except on Internet discussion boards, but that doesn't count -- of the Rock going to work in WCW. Instead, "underutilized talents" will go there, such as, I'm assuming, the Hardy Boyz and perhaps people like D'Lo Brown and J'Oey Abs. Also some underutilized non-talents, like Billy Gunn. It'll be like OVW with a TV deal! And Shane McMahon. And Booker T and Mike Awesome instead of Ron Waterman and Leviathan.

* !!! PAGE BREAK !!!

* When in need of heel heat, call in Good Ol' J.R. Like HHH and Tazz in the past, Steve Austin got to have his day in the sun with Jimbo by beating his ass on SmackDown!, in Ross's home state of Oklahoma. Doctors told Jim he could use some stitches to close up the nasty blade-wound, but being a badass mofo of a wrestling announcer, Jim went the Sabu route and glued it shut. Austin's right hand seems to be a bit sore, by the way. That's how it goes when you mess with badass mofos.

* This Monday's RAW is in Boston (sold out), and the SmackDown! tapings the folllowing night are in Philadelphia (the city of sell-outs).

* Kane, TAKA, Essa, and Gangrel are all going to wrestle in Puerto Rico this weekend. I know TAKA can handle himself, but the others are clearly risking their lives and limbs. The WWF may even be hoping that Gangrel is involved in some sort of accident, so they won't have to go to the trouble of handling the release papers.

* Next week's house show in Tallahassee, Florida will be headlined by a six-man tag between Chris Jericho, Undertaker, and Kane vs Steve Austin, Triple H, and Wet Willie Regal. Betcha the match ends with Undertaker tapping out to the Regal Stretch. Well, perhaps not.

* Federation stars will get April 13-15 off in order to be able to celebrate the death of Jesus with their families. No plans to revisit the crucifiction angle in time for Easter, sadly.

* Chris Benoit, Kurt Angle, the APA, Crash and Molly Holly will all be wrestling for Memphis Championship Wrestling Wednesday, April 18th. Such an amazing source for jokes I cannot think of one.

* Lots of WWF Superstars will be part of a huge Ohio Valley Wrestling event in -- where else, it's not like they waste money on fare -- Louisville, Kentucky on Wednesday, June 27th. When Ross begins hyping it two and a half months in advance, you know it's HUGE. Also, it's OVW. How can it not be HUGE?

* While we're talking so much about relatively unimportant shows no one will see, let's also mention that HHH and Steve Austin will likely both defend their respective titles at May 5th's Insurrextion PPV in the UK. It's not like title switches don't happen there; Crash won the Euro title the last time they were over there. Honest! It was mentioned in a wwf.com piece a while ago!

* !!! PAGE BREAK !!!

* Playboy is interested in doing more stuff with the WWF. Jim Ross is willing to go topless, but nothing below the waist, he says. Well, he doesn't say, exactly. But still.

* Al Snow, Tazz, Jackie and Tori are all doing quite well as trainers for Tuff E. Nuff, likely to begin airing on MTV in June. You know, between this show and HeAT, Tazz is like the Wendi Richter for this generation, keeping the MTV-connected Rock'n'Wrestling connection alive and kicking. At your shins.

* Sez Ross: "Not that I'm able to put a big smile on my face these days, thanks to Bells Palsy" -- I was gonna make a "lost his smile" joke here, but then found out that one has been used on WWF TV already -- "but I was sure smiling as best I could after hearing that every J.R.'s Slobberknockin' Vibrator taken to AXXESS was sold! We hope to have some big news on this project very soon."

* A few sorry sumbitches, some of which he never thought he'd hear from again, have been calling Jimbo, wanting to make friends again and letting him know that they didn't mean a word of what they said and that whole Oklahoma bit was a mistake and they are so so sorry and by the way, does Ross think there may be a teensy little opening for them in the WWF or WCW?

* "Sources" tell Jimbo that the week's TV will be quite hot. Must mean they're doing an inferno match! And Kane will main event Backlash!

* Damn, I am so good at reading between lines.

* Rhyno gets a progress report, and it's positive. "Shows a good attitude, tries hard", undoubtedly.

* "How good would Y2J and Chris Benoit be as a team?" I dunno, but I'm thinking they may just break Scott Keith's five-star scale. At least if they ever wrestle Edge and Christian.

* "Wet" Willie Regal and Bradshaw will be over in the UK to do some promotional work in early May. Maybe thiss time, Regal will blabber incoherently about memories from growing up in the area, and Bradshaw will call him "Sunshine".

* Speaking of Bradshaw, he'll may get the opportunity of a big push in the singles ranks, as he has lost weight while still remaining big and athletic. I can just imagine Faarooq sitting there reading this. "Well I'll be damned..."

* Murray Harper has been released. He was one of the Dupps, but which one he was seems to be of no importance to Ross, as he neglects to mention it. I'll just call him Fired Dupp. Others getting the sack are Jason Sensation and Just Joe. If anyone wants to start up a big wrestling promotion to compete with the WWF, they just got themselves a bunch of maineventers.

* !!! PAGE BREAK !!!

* Jimbo spends a lengthy paragraph blabbering about the XFL, as he does every single week. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, though, with the likely lower profile for the fed next season. Either way, Jimbo thinks the game between the Maniax and the Outlaws this weekend was the last one for him to broadcast, as he doesn't think the opportunity will arise next season. He has no regrets, and got to fulfill a dream and work with Dick Butkus -- A dream shared by Vince Russo, but for entirely different reasons. Props to players and coaches who worked their asses off despite little media support, and with that we close the XFL Blabber File for this week. Get thee away from me, XFL talk.

* Grab hold of yourself and hasta la next week, baby.