* Memphis Championship Wrestling will soon cease to have an affilliation with Da Big Fed, and eight talents have been given their notice to get their asses the fuck out of the WWF development program. To go along with the break-up, it's the old "you're too good for me" rationale, known to any man or woman who's ever been dumped. Every single one of these released wrestlers needs to work with people who are more experienced than themselves in order to reach their fullest potential, and the WWF just doesn't a place that fits that criteria. I mean, 90% of the wrestlers in WCW are greener than those eight. "Those eight", by the way, are: American Dragon, American Spanky, Joey "Hardy" Matthews, Christian "Hardy" York, Shooter Notkurt Shultz, and the former Mean Street Posse, i e Pete "Gas", Joey "Abs", and Rodney "Rodrageous" Rageous. At this point, the old "let's still be friends" is unleashhed, as Ross tells us every effort if being made to get them booked, possibly in Japan. I bet Zach Arnold is salivating at the possibility of a match between Kawada and.. Pete Gas. The WWF is confident that all the abovementioned wrestlers will easily be able to find work in no time at all. Even if they don't feel like going abroad to seek employment, there's always such noteworthy North America-based groups such as... um... Well, there's, um, that one down in Florida, or, um... *some* NWA promotion that's OK to work for. Well. Japan doesn't sound so bad. Does it, fellas?

* MCW owner Terry Golden sure worked hard, oftentimes in difficult situations. As far as Ross understands, he'll continue to book shows down in Memphis, presumably with matches between the two MCW wrestlers left who weren't under WWF deals. New stip added in every town! Begin with a normal match, then in the next town you have it as a 2 out of 3 falls. Then you continue adding stuff until you after a few weeks have a Best Two-Out-of-Three-Falls Over-the-Top-Rope First Blood/I Quit Electrified Barbed Wire Steel Cage Baseball Bat On a Pole Ladder Match on the card. This would then go on until Golden mistakingly adds on a Loser Leaves Town stipulation and after the match realizes he no longer has enough wrestlers left to continue the tour.

* Contract talks with Chyna have ceased and will not resume, essentially meaning that she's FIIIRED. The current contract expires on November 30th, and Ross wishes her luck in future endevours. What, no helping her relocate to Japan? Nonetheless, I'm sure she'll be able to bounce back... what with those enormous funbags which will undoubtedly send her right back upwards upon impact with rock bottom.

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* Chyna's contributions to the WWF are much appreciated and will be long remembered. Like that time at a house show when her boob poppoed out of her top, that was memorable to a lot of wrestlers, not the least being Steve Austin. Almost took his eye out!

* The Island Boys -- who, because they're still working the indys and haven't been brought up to WWF TV, aren't yet the Island Boyz -- Matt Anoai & Eddie Fatu, Russ and Hoss Haas, Lance "Arr" Cade, and Steve Bradley aren't good enough to be released from their WWF deals just yet, and will instead be send to Les Thatcher's promotion in Cincinnati. "Les Thatcher's Promotion in Cincinnati" might as well be the name of it, because that's all Jimbo calls it. The Fed likes working with Les for several reasons, including that he's got decades worth of experience as a wrestler, broadcaster, promoter, and sex-pot valet. Also, he's mighty respected and his promotion is based only 100 miles from OVW in Louisville, meaning the two organizations can share such valuable resources as trainers, talent, TV production, wrestling tights and jock straps. Jim Ross is so excited about working with Les that he almost pees his pants.

* OVW's Last Dance at the Louisville Gardens is this Wednesday! The promotion for the show on OWF TV has apparently been excellent, meaning they're one up on recent WWF planning right there. Several of the WWF's top hands will be in town, and the match will be headlines by an interpromotional match between two MONSTERS! Two BEASTS! Two DEMONIC FIGURES! Two ICONS! Two BIG GUYS WITH GIMMICKS BEING THAT THEY'RE NOT QUITE LIVING! Yes, it's THE UNDERTAKER vs LEVIATHAN! Somehow, J.R. doesn't find that match as intriguing as I do, as he doesn't even mention it. Jimbo expects an interesting evening.

* Triple H is continuing rehab down in Birmingham, Alabama, with Triple H doing ALL DAY, EVERY DAY therapy sessions, no doubt keeping other patients in need of rehab out of the facilities. GLASS CEILING!

* Case in point: Rikishi. His rehab is also in progress, and though it's in Pensacola, Florida rather than in Alabama, I'm sure HHH must be working hard to impede Rikishi's progress somehow. Why haven't we seen any surgery footage or injury updates for Rikishi on HeAT, for instance?

* This week, Chris Benwaa saw a couple of specialists (and no, that does not mean "Internet Wrestling Fans", no matter what elitist message board you frequent or which site you write for) to determine the extent of his neck (what neck?) and upper arm problems. A diagnosis was unavailable when Jimbo wrote his report, but he was nonetheless certain that Benoit will be able to wrestle at King of the Ring. The guy can stand up, can't he? Then by golly, he can certainly wrestle.

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* According to J. R., Sheldon Benjamin's MRI of his injured elbow was not good. Still, it managed to find a torn ligament that attaches to the elbow, so it can't have been THAT bad. He'll be out six to eight weeks, rehabbing the shoulder, and I anxiously await the injury updates on OVW HeAT. No surgery was required, though, so no juicy footage.

* Since WCW might actually get off the ground before 2004, staffing requirements are being addressed. Referees and agents will be retained. Arn Anderson, "Barrio Brother" Ricky Santana, and Dave "Zip" Finlay were all on hand at last week's TV and will be there again this week, chllin' and observin'. No word on Fidel Sierra, however. Ross would expect plenty more WCW action on next week's TV, but don't hold him to that, because he really doesn't know and the WWF doesn't plan much in advance.

* The broadcaster positions in WCW are also being addressed. Whoever is picked, I have no doubt it will be THE GREATEST BROADCASTING TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF OUR GREAT SPORT.

* Tuff E. Nuff got off to a good start, and every single episode that Jimbo has seen has been better than the previous one. Great job by WWF TV staff as well as the Superstars. Tazz, Al, and Jackie also did well.

* Victoria will be going to OVW, and so will Mysterious Ninja Woman Tori. The latter needs some ring time, see, and the vast OVW women's division provides ample amount of opponents. Read "ample amount of opponents" as "Victoria", because as far as I know, there's no other woman wrestling there.

* The King of the Ring Pay-Per-View is hard to predict from where Jimbo sits. From where I sit, which is three days into the future and consequently after the PPV, it's a whole lot easier to predict. However, to show how very good and professional of a writer I am, I'll make it seem like I wrote this passage BEFORE the PPV, with nothing to break the illusion whatsoever. Here we go. The semi- and final-finals feature four fine fyoung frestlers fo'll fave fevery fofforfunify fo fimfreff. They are, as you should know, Rhyno, Edge, Christian, and Kurt (Angle), also known as Team RECK. If you were a teen who didn't bother to buy the PPV and will miss these tournament matches, then you'd be a RECK-less youth, nyuk nyuk. That's not a good thing, by the way, because it means you'll never get a job with a big promotion and will be forced to roam the indys for ever and ever. Moving on to the main event, we have "My Name Is" Stone Cold Steve Austin taking on not one but two Canadian Chrisses, in a match that has no choice but to deliver the goods, the WCW champion, the disappointing finish, and the injuries in a big way.

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* Jimbo's interested in seeing what sort of confrontation the King of the Bada-Bing and the Scumdertaker will have, and feels it should definitely add to the event and not at all be an uninspired brawl that leads nowhere and is thought by most to be the dullest point of the PPV. The streetfight between Shane McSon and Kurt Angle won't disappoint, as Shane's big PPV suicide attempts never seem to do. But what can he do to top his previous efforts, a Shooting Star Press onto a trash can or some thing? Ha ha ha. As for Kurt Angle, I'm sure that he'll... what's that expression again? Ah yes... I'm sure that he'll bust his ass. That's all the matches that were known when Jimbo wrote the Report, so we'll jump straight to the prediction of the old "points out of ten" system that Ross does. 7 out of 10 this time, but J.R. is known for being conservative not only in the bedroom but also when it comes to these sort of predictions. Reminiscing time: Jimbo's first KotR was 1993, when Bret "Name Mentioned Here to Increase Speculation?" Hart won and was attacked by Jerry "Name Mentioned Here to Increase Speculation?" Lawler. It seems like a lifetime ago, sez everyone's favourite cowboy hat-wearing Oklahoman wrestling announcer. And for a hamster, it just about is. Anyway, on that evening, Jim called the action alongside Randy Savage and Bobby Heenan. Nobody wore a toga until much, much later that night.

* Jimbo's on vacation and celebrates by quoting the classic comedy "Airplane!: "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!" On that note,

* Buh-bye.