It was a beautiful late spring afternoon in Sunnydale, and Willow Rosenberg was jubilant.
Graduation was fast approaching and she felt confident that all would be well. Sure, they
were getting ready to fight the mayor at his ascension during the ceremony, and she knew it
was very, very serious. But she also trusted Buffy to guide them through. She had never let
Willow down before, and she was certain that this time would be no different.Of course, things *were * different. Willow was having sex with Buffy's soul mate. And
Willow was developing feelings for him. She knew she should feel bad, and a part of her did,
but for the most part, she was just amazingly happy, because she knew that Angel was
developing those feelings, too.Certainly there were times during their… not lovemaking, but sex… when it was a pure lesson
for her. The spanking, the domination, the games; that was what the original arrangement had
been.But then Angel decided to show her the other side of sex. The kisses, and the caresses… the
foreplay and the afterglow. And Willow was still glowing.She burst through the doors of the library ready to face another night of research, a wide
smile spread across her face as her thoughts lingered on Angel.It all faded as the site of Buffy and Angel came into view, locked in a zealous embrace.
Willow's heart fell into her stomach.His hands were tangled in Buffy's hair, his mouth locked firmly onto hers as her hands
clenched at the back of his shirt.As Willow skidded into the library, the pair pulled apart. Buffy had a look of guilty
pleasure… not guilt over what she was doing, but because Willow had caught them in a
compromising situation.Angel, on the other hand, looked very much like a beautiful puppy caught chewing apart his
mistress's favorite pair of shoes.Before Willow even had time to think about what she was doing, or how it would look, she
turned and ran from the library, tears stinging her eyes.Angel's first impulse was to run after her and pull her into his embrace, kissing away her
tears and assuring her that she was the only one he thought of making love to as he kissed
Buffy, but he fought back the urge.He had made a decision. Buffy was his love, his life, his soul mate. It should matter none
to him that Willow occupied nearly every waking moment, and most of his sleeping ones, too.He didn't know how it had happened. Didn't understand it, and didn't want to understand it,
either. His feelings for her had deepened far beyond friendship or student/teacher. He
couldn't help it. She was brilliant and beautiful. She accepted him for what he was… a
predator. Not only accepted that part of him, but embraced it. She knew him in a way that
Buffy never would.But he couldn't… wouldn't do that to Buffy. He did love her, even if that love was changing.
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. She was lucky that she had lived as long as she had. Angel
couldn't be certain about how long that luck would hold out, and he wasn't about to desert
her when she needed him most.And there was still the part of Angel that didn't deserve Willow, didn't deserve the woman
that she was fast becoming. It was wrong. It was all wrong. What had started out so simply
had grown as complicated as a situation could get. He'd wanted the sex…craved it, and still
did. A part of him, though, saw Willow in an entirely different way. It scared him a
little, confusing and sometimes angering him.So, Angel forced himself to stay glued to his spot, trying to look as impassive as possible
while his undead heart simultaneously ached for the fleeing redhead and raged at the thought
of her being so careless in hiding her emotions.Buffy, however, gave Angel an apologetic look as she rushed out the door after her friend.
~~~~~~
"Willow!" Buffy called out to her friend as she ran after her. Willow ignored her, but of
course, Buffy caught up to her, stopping her with a hand to her shoulder."Willow…I'm sorry. I didn't think." She paused. "I know what this is about."
She looked at Buffy through tear-glazed eyes, "You…you do?"
Buffy gave her an encouraging smile. "It's only been a couple of weeks since you decided to
back off from things with Oz. You're still feeling a little tender about it. I know that,
and I should have picked a better time and place to start something with Angel. I'm really
sorry. But, hey! This gives us an excuse to leave the research at the library and sneak off
for a mocha and a little girl talk. You in?"Letting out a shuddering sigh of relief that she hoped Buffy took as a muted sob, Willow
nodded her agreement.~~~~~
One in the morning, and Willow still hadn't worn off the buzz from the caffeine and the
turmoil of seeing Angel and Buffy together. Shutting down her laptop, she flopped down on
her bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to come to terms with her feelings.Never in her life had she thought she'd be the 'other' woman. The fluke didn't *really *
count. To make the situation worse, she was betraying her best friend, the one who had spent
over an hour tonight trying to cheer her. What kind of woman has sex with… falls in love
with her best friend's boyfriend?Willow answered her own question aloud, "A conniving slut, that's who."
"I've been called worse." Came a voice from just inside her French doors.
Willow bolted upright on her bed at the sound of Angel's voice, tugging down her skimpy
nightshirt. She stared at the dark vampire, eyes narrowing at the intrusion on her thoughts
and the memory of Buffy in his arms."Out." She hissed at him.
Angel shrugged, "If you really want me to go, I will. You are sure you want me to go, right,
Willow?" He walked over to the edge of the bed and ran his hand up the inside of her bare
leg, stopping short before reaching the juncture of her thighs.For a mere second her thighs fell apart, and then biting her lip, Willow jerked away from his
touch."No. You can't do this. I'm not going to let you get all hot and bothered by her and then
come to my house to fuck me. I'm not your…your…sperm bucket!" Willow reddened at her choice
of words.Angel's eyes glinted with mirth at her statement, but he was wise enough to know not to
laugh. "You're not that, Willow. You could never be just that for anyone."Arching an eyebrow but remaining silent, Willow waited for him to continue.
"Look, Willow…I can't deny the way you make me feel, the pleasure you give me," he raised his
hand, cupping one cheek and sensuously tracing her lips with his thumb, "When I'm teaching
you, when I finally give in and sink inside of you, I don't want to be anywhere else or *with
* anyone else. Never, and I mean never, has anyone made me feel the way I do when I'm with
you, moving with you… loving you. That's yours, Willow. All of the passion I have in my
life belongs to you. I don't get worked up from someone else and then come to you. You're
the one who's forever laying naked behind my closed eyes, begging me, taking me into you,
accepting what I have to give and never flinching at anything I do." He paused, his eyes
locked with hers. "You're like a fever that just keeps burning hotter, every other
fascination is destroyed in your wake."Willow's breath hitched as she spoke, "But that's not love."
"No…not yet." Came his reply.
~~~
"Angel, I'm sorry. I-I don't understand." She moved off the bed and away from him.
"Willow…"
"I broke up with Oz, Angel. I let him go."
"I never asked you to do that."
"No… no, you didn't. But you knew, and you didn't like it when I was with him. You told me
that yourself. You flew into a rage when you thought that I came to you to finish what he
started.""I didn't ask you to break up with him," he stated again, exasperation evident in his voice,
"Is that what you're asking from me now? You want me to break up with Buffy? Because I
won't.""I don't know what I'm asking, Angel. I just don't know." Tears dribbled from the corners
of her eyes, spilling down her freshly scrubbed cheeks as she huddled against the wall.With a sigh, Angel sat on the corner of the bed, rubbing his weary face. "This wasn't
supposed to happen, Willow. It wasn't supposed to get complicated. It was sex… it was
lessons.""You think this is what I wanted, don't you? You think it was my intention all along."
Angel couldn't suppress his laugh this time, "Willow, you don't have a manipulative bone in
your body. You couldn't have planned this. I know that… It just… it just got all fucked up
and I don't know how to fix it.""You think I do?"
"No, I don't. I don't think either of us know what to do."
An uncomfortable silence hung over the air as neither could find the words to come next.
"Willow, are you in love with me?" Angel finally asked.
She didn't answer for a few moments, pondering her possible reply. She honestly didn't know.
Her feelings for him were deep. She cherished his friendship and the way he made her feel
when he was loving her and when we was teaching her. But was she in love with him?"I can't answer that. And, maybe if I don't know the answer, that means that I'm not," she
whispered."I should go."
Willow nodded as Angel moved off of her bed and back towards the French doors.
She slunk back towards her vacated bed, getting ready to crawl underneath the sheets and cry
herself to sleep when Angel was suddenly next to her, spinning her in his arms to face him."I need you," he hissed, "Is that enough? Because that's all I can give you-all I can
promise you right now. I need us. I need this. You. Willow, I need you and everything you
give me. Is that enough?"A strangled moan escaped her lips as he held her tightly against his body. She felt his
erection pressing into her stomach and felt her own moisture seeping down her thighs."I don't have the right to ask for anything more," she mumbled.
She gasped as he held her tighter.
"That's not what I'm asking, Willow. Is needing you enough? Is that enough for you?"
"Yes… oh, God, yes…" She whimpered as Angel forced his knee between her legs, pressing his
thigh against her mound.They tumbled backwards onto the bed. There was no lesson here, no tutorial-only desire.
There were no preliminaries. Foreplay was forgotten as Angel tore her nightshirt over her
head and ripped her panties off her shaking body.They fumbled together trying to get Angel's pants undone, their hands feverishly fighting the
damnable zipper. With a roar, Angel finally ripped them free, paying no attention to the
tearing fabric as Willow fervently pushed the trousers down around his thighs.He entered her brutally, needing to feel her hot, wet walls clutching and spasming around his
cock.Her nails raked dark red welts down his back before her hands settled on his buttocks,
grasping and pushing, trying to force her deeper inside of her.He reached around her back, pulling her up into his arms as he sat back on his heels, one arm
supporting himself on the bed, the other wrapped around her waist. Her knees barely touched
the comforter as her hands clutched his shoulders, using them for leverage as she thrust
herself up and down on his cock.His hand slid down her lower back, reaching between her thighs to capture a bit of her
wetness. Cupping her cheek, his thrust his middle finger into her other hole. Intending to
bite back a scream as her orgasm swept through her, she bit into his shoulder, drawing blood
with her blunt teeth.Angel vamped out immediately, throwing her backwards once more onto the bed. He forced her
thighs open as wide as he could, knowing but not caring that the next day would find Willow
with not only bruises, but probably a few pulled muscles as well.He pinched her clit harshly between his fingers before rubbing it forcefully with his
calloused thumb. She reached for him, her hands barely reaching his chest. Her fingers left
long red streaks across his pectoral muscles as the blood from her bite was smeared across
his nipples and down his stomach.Willow, through her haze, realized that Angel was no longer with her. His need had overtaken
him as he fucked her savagely, brutally… and she wanted it. This was what she craved.
Another orgasm ripped through her, causing her to arch up off the bed, baring her neck for
him.Angel needed to further invitation and fell on top of her small body, sinking his fangs into
her throat. Willow felt his cold seed spilling into her womb as he drew more and more of her
blood into his mouth. Darkness blinked in the corners of her eyes as a series of small, yet
powerful orgasms wracked her body, instinctively knowing that she needed to push him away, to
make him stop.She began to push at his chest as best she could in her weakened state, worrying that she
wasn't going to be able to stop him.She needn't worry, though. Somewhere behind the visage of the vampire, Angel still hovered,
maintaining the smallest sliver of control. Before she even realized what was happening, he
had shifted back to his human face, lying gently on top of her, careful to take most of his
weight into himself, gingerly lapping at the small puncture wounds in her neck.~~~
He continued to lave her neck for a moment, then started to pull away, muttering an "I'm
sorry…" but she pulled him back down and silenced him with a kiss, her lips barely brushing
his."Don't be. I wanted…needed you to do that." She whispered.
Moving to slip out of her, Willow stopped him, wrapping her legs around his waist. "We
communicate better when we're like this. If you have something to say, say it now."Propping himself up on his elbows, he brushed her damp hair off her face. There was a lot to
be said, but he wasn't sure if now was the time."I don't want to hurt you, Willow."
"You're not. I'm perfectly comfortable." She replied.
"That's not what I mean…You have the ability to make me lose control."
Willow waggled her eyebrows and clenched her muscles around his softening cock. "Good."
Angel groaned, and felt himself begin to harden again. "That's not what I mean, and you know
it. I…sometimes it's almost like 'he' takes control. I want you that much…need you that
much. Possessing you is all I can think about."Despite the seriousness of his words, Angel began to slide slowly in and out of Willow, never
breaking eye contact. He loved losing himself in the softness of her body. Her hips pushed
up towards his as she answered him in a breathy voice."It scares me a little, too. Sometimes. But there's a part of me that loves the fact that I
can make you feel that way. I crave that, almost as much as I crave this."With that she placed her feet on the bed and truly arched up to meet his gradual downward
thrust. A small groan escaped him, but he kept his motions slowly torturous, despite the
fact that her velvety, grasping walls were driving him to the brink."You're playing with fire, Willow. I don't think you realize how serious…how dangerous this
could be. I'm bigger than you, I'm stronger…I could hurt you without even meaning to." He
thrust forward a little more sharply with his last words, then backed off to his languid pace
again. Coming from anyone other than Angel, Willow could have perceived it as veiled threat,
but knowing him as she did, she realized the words came out of caring for her, that they were
truly concern.Willow was quiet for a while, matching him thrust for languid thrust, her fingers tracing
patterns on his back as she watched his face. Except for the slight flaring of his nostrils,
he could just as easily have been reading a book. Instinctively, Willow knew that he was
trying to prove something to himself, to her…that he was in control.She brought one hand around and traced his lips, then his brow where the ridges always
formed. Sensations were coursing through her body from her center, and despite his unhurried
actions, she could feel her orgasm sneaking up on her."Angel…I trust you. I always…will." She cried out his name, "Angel!" as she peaked. Tremors
ran through her, adding to her pleasure, as she felt the tip of his shaft swell as he erupted
inside her with a moan that was more of a wail than anything.He slowed and then stilled. Willow wasn't sure, but she thought she saw his eyes glistening.
Intuitively, she knew that somehow they were drawing near a turning point.Burying his face in the neck he had so recently ravaged, Angel whispered, "Oh, Willow…what
are we going to do about this?"~~~
"Shhh… Angel, shhh…" she hushed him, "We're not going to do anything. Right now, at least.
We're going to keep things the way that they are… keep going on just as we have been. We
started this, and we'll see it through, but right now, we're not going to do anything any
different than we have been."Angel listened to the words she whispered to comfort him. To comfort him? Again, she
surprised him. Her strength, her gentleness, her intelligence; she continued to amaze him
with the intuitive way that she always seemed to know what he needed. She held him cradled
in her arms, holding him tightly against her body, refusing to let him move off of her,
knowing that the heat coming from her body calmed him, filling his body with serenity and
peace. If Willow said everything was going to be all right, then everything was going to be
all right.He realized that, at least for a moment, their roles had changed. Angel was no longer in
charge as Willow called the shots. She soothed him, and he drifted off to sleep knowing that
there was no place on earth that he'd rather be than here in her arms, still deeply imbedded
in her body.Angel awoke before dawn, his inner clock alerting him to the impending sunlight, and it
wouldn't do well for him to be trapped in her house until sunset.Pulling his clothes on, he remembered something from a previous encounter. Rummaging through
her bedside drawer, he found the bottle of iron pills and gently woke Willow, handing her two
of the small red pills and a glass of water. She groggily swallowed the pills as the fog
cleared from her mind and her green eyes focused on Angel."I have to go, Willow."
She nodded her head in understanding.
"I want to see you. Tonight at my house. After we've both had time to think… and I think
it's time for your next lesson," he added before planting a light kiss on her lips and
slipped out the doors.~~
Walking into the candlelit mansion, Willow was almost breathless with anticipation, wondering
what her next 'lesson' was going to bring. Last night had almost been disastrous. She
wanted Angel to be strong, to care for her, but not at the expense of his piece of mind…or
their current relationship."I'm in the bedroom, Willow." Angel's voice called to her from out of the shadows.
Eagerly, Willow headed for the bedroom. Angel was bathed in the glow from the candles,
sitting in a chair next to the bed. Willow bit her lip nervously in anticipation. He was
wearing only his trousers and held some sort of… restraint?"Undress, Willow. And kneel on the bed."
She did as she was told, quickly shedding her clothing and taking her position on the bed
facing him. Getting up, he took the things he was holding, which Willow could now clearly
see *were * some sort of restraint, and began putting them on her. A band of soft leather
encircled her thighs, attached to that was another loop of leather which Angel bound her
wrists with. She was effectively caught now, the soft bands limiting her movements.Angel sat back down in the chair, stilling her with a quiet, "Stay." Willow did as she was
told, watching as Angel unzipped his trousers, slid them over his hips and to the floor. Her
brow furrowed as he made no move to come to her, instead, he took his erection in his hand
and began stroking himself, his eyes locked on hers. In a low voice he began speaking to
her."Do you know how you make me feel, Willow? Can you even begin to imagine all the things I
want to do to you?"Willow shook her head, since permission to speak hadn't been given. She looked down to his
lap. He was fully erect now, and moisture had formed on the tip of his cock, glinting in the
candlelight with every stroke of his hand. She whimpered a little, feeling herself grow wet
with expectation."Sometimes, Willow, I lie awake at night and think about that first time. How lovely your
ass looked when you were over my lap, letting me mark that fine ivory flesh of yours with my
hand. Remember, Willow? Remember how wet you were? How ready you were when I was finally
inside you and you came so hard you cried? I do. I remember it all, every time I'm by
myself and doing this, that's what I think of."Angel's voice was almost guttural now, and his pace was increasing. Willow watched in silent
desire as his abs tightened and his hips arched involuntarily. She wiggled her hand, trying
to reach her throbbing clitoris. Angel caught the movement, despite his impending climax. He
never missed a beat as he chastised her."No, Willow. None for you yet, you don't have permission. Not until I say…not until I'm
buried so deep inside you that you can't stand it, not until your aching with how bad you
need that…release."With that, he stiffened and came, his seed shooting out of him, down his hand and on his
thighs. Willow moaned in near agony and pressed her legs tightly together, eager for any
pressure she could get down there.Angel grabbed his shirt off the floor and wiped his thighs, then stood and brought his
fingers to Willow's lips. She eagerly sucked the stickiness there, working her tongue around
his finger in hopes of pleasing him, of making him hard again so he'd give her the release
she needed.He responded by getting two of the pillows from the bed, positioning them and then her,
turning her over until Willow's head rested on the pillows, her backside raised in the air.~~~
Willow heard him rummaging through a drawer, and assumed that he was again looking for
lubricant. After their first encounter with anal sex, Willow expected more and more of the
same. Angel had so enjoyed it, as had she… something she didn't expect.She also didn't expect the sting of the strap on her buttocks as Angel finally kneeled behind
her.She tossed her hair over her shoulder, looking to see what Angel had in his hand. It stung.
It hurt. And it made moisture seep down her thighs.It was a small riding crop… nothing too big or nasty. Angel delivered a series of quick
smacks across her buttocks and thighs, loving the small red welts that were rising on her
flesh… his marks.Willow tried her best not to cry out, not to beg. With the thigh cuffs on, she couldn't move
her hands, couldn't give herself any relief at all, and she was nearly crying with want."Angel, please… Oh, God… please, Angel… fuck me…"
"I didn't tell you to speak," he chastised, delivering a solid smack across her upper thighs
before standing and moving away from the bed.Searching through the drawer again, he found what he was looking for. A few days earlier,
before last night…he had slipped into the local adult toy store in the middle of the night
and stocked up with a plethora of supplies to show Willow.He briefly dangled an item in front of Willow's face, taunting her with it.
"If you're not going to obey me, I'll have to make you," he informed her. Instead of fitting
the ball gag in his hand over her head he reconsidered, returning to the drawer, bringing out
a deep vermilion scarf, lacing it through her clenched teeth and tying it snugly.He sat back to admire the picture Willow made… the thigh cuffs, the gag, and the beautiful
red welts that marked her as his.Her face was flushed as she looked at him with desperate, pleading eyes, her red hair damp
and plastered to her face.Angel half-expected her to be terrified. She was trussed up with no means of escape, and no
way to use her safe word if she wanted to. He searched her eyes, needing to know that he
hadn't gone too far.He saw anger, desire and want, and not a trace of fear in her vibrant green depths.
An electric shock coursed through his body, realization dawning on him. In front of him was
a woman that trusted him implicitly. It wasn't only about sex… this was about friendship and
love. Willow trusted him, a monster, with her life. She trusted him with any path that he
chose to lead her down. She was the one, the only one, that accepted him for everything that
he was.A choking sob escaped his lips as a thousand truths raced through his mind. Willow watched
him, a look of confusion and worry marring her features as she watched him crumble in front
of her.He rushed to her side on the bed, hastily removing the restraints and pulled the gag over her
head."Angel, wha…" Her words were cut off as Angel rolled her over on her back and plunged inside
her.He held her tightly in his arms, tears rolling down his face as he thrust inside her. Willow
fell into a blistering orgasm immediately, screaming and crying along with Angel. Something
had happened, something had changed, and it was tearing Angel apart. She clutched at him,
holding him as closely as she could as he rode her, making love to her as if it would be
their last time.Last time, she thought to herself. Oh, God… last time. She clung to him, urgently moving
with him, not wanting it to be over but needing more, needing solace…needing him.Angel thrust inside her, over and over; losing himself for the moment in this woman whom had
given him such an amazing gift. Her tears and his were mingling as they both raced towards
culmination. Without a hint of hesitation, when he felt her shuddering beneath him again, he
bit into her neck, drawing her blood into his mouth. With a guttural cry, half sorrow, half
pleasure, Willow came again. And Angel, echoing her almost precisely in a lower register,
followed, his seed spurting out of him and settling where he had always been welcome.They lay together with their arms wrapped tightly around each other. Neither moved excepting
for the occasional sob that would rack one or the other's bodies. Finally, they both calmed
and Angel found the strength to roll off her, settling her inside the circle of his arms as
he lay on his back.Willow was the first to broach the subject, trying to forestall what she was sure was coming.
"I can *try * to stay away. I don't know if I can see you and not come over here. I don't
think I'm that strong. But, I…" her breath hitched in her throat and she couldn't go on.Stroking her back, Angel replied in a voice that still threatened tears, "You don't think? I
*know * I can't be near you and not have you." He paused, "I decided last night…I'm moving,
Willow. I'm going to LA.""What?" came the quiet reply.
"Los Angeles." He turned so he could look in her eyes when he spoke. "I need time. Time to
think about Buffy. Time to think about you. And time to think about what in the hell I'm
doing to you, taking an innocent woman and putting her in this kind of relationship. I'm a
selfish…"Willow interrupted, "You are not selfish! I wanted this. *I * need this."
Angel shushed her by brushing his lips against hers. "No, I am selfish. I've never had
anyone accept me for who I am. No one's ever let me be with them like you have. And it's not
just the sex; it's everything, Willow. No one's ever embraced all that I am like you have.""Then why?" she whimper, her voice trembling.
"Because, Willow, you're falling in love with me. And I'm starting to fall in love with you.
If I stay, if we continue, you know what could happen. I can't do that to you. Or Buffy. I
still love her, too." He clenched his fist with the pain of the admission, the knowledge
that he was hurting people he cared for, again.Willow was torn. He was falling in love with her. And he was leaving her. Angel was all
she'd thought about for months. He was her friend, her lover, her teacher…he was everything
to her. In her soul, though, she knew that she needed to let him go now, or he'd be lost to
her forever. One way or another.She didn't even try to sound nonchalant. There wouldn't be any use, he knew her too well.
"I'll miss you. I'll miss you more than you can even begin to imagine.""I'll miss you, too. Willow. This is the hardest thing I've ever done."
"Will we ever…" she began.
"I don't know." A painful answer, but the truth.
"When?"
"Day after tomorrow. Right after we handle the ascension. All of you need my help…and I need
to say some good-byes.""I should go."
Angel stiffened at her words. "Please don't. Stay with me tonight? We need this… We need
tonight… To say goodbye."Willow rolled over on top of him, tears glinting in her eyes. "I'll stay. But I'll never say
goodbye."End