12/27/01
lol seems just about exciting as my week. i wouldnt actually want to call it a week though because it doesnt seem like it has been a week. too short to be one. ahh the insects eating me. ouch. get the bug spray. coming in swarms, swarms, to eat us all alive. oh the agony, the pain, the horrific scenes we are about to witness as all of humaninty and all that weve created is destroyed before us in much less time than it took to create. and everyone lived a happy life and there was much rejoicing when the brave knight had slain the evil afghans (being the blankets, not the people) and they did so get drunk, merry, and some did smoketh their weed while others preferred to sip pennyroyal tea under the soft light of the black hole sun. than someone shouted "theres been a rage against the machine!!!" and so all the people in the town took this as the sign of the coming of the Nirvana and began smashing pumpkins onto the streets. When enough garbage had accumulated at the drive-in, and was left there to rot for a while after the townspeople realized it was not yet time for their redemption, the smell of the rotting pumpkins led them to create a new adjective, hoobastank, to describe the awful scent. little did they know however, that the long term side effects of inhaling such rancid gases would leave many people with limp bizkits for years to come. It came to pass that there was deep bannana blackout through the land, and many a time did someone step in a puddle of mud because it had been raining so often, which staind many people's clothes. In fact, there was so much mud that some developed an interesting condition called 'mudvaynes' where all the blood in their veins suddenly turned to mud. This phenomenon stumped doctors for years and left them wishing that the only source of their miracle healing powder, sevendust, hadnt been washed away with the rain. The only bad thing about sevendust, when it was still in use, was that continuous doses led to the growth on nine inch nails on their fingers and toes which often became quite annoying and caused them to go spiraling into such a severe state of depression that it would be said that they were part of the system of a down. Of course they would eventually come out of it or as soon as their nails were trimed because it was after all, a healing powder. After so much rain, 'no rain' dances were eventually developed and as part of the symbolism involved in the dance, the people would blindfold melons and throw them out the windows of the top of the tallest buildings they could find, and watch the blind melons float downstream in the next town over. So one day, while on his quest to find the reason why it just cant stop raining, the same brave young bold knight who had slain the afghans one day came across a silverchair. He knew not what it meant, so he consulted his encyclopedia of mysterious, magical, and enchanted dining furniture which said that the chair was probably silver because it had gone through mettalica which was a spell invented by the evil rob zombie to make it easier for him to catch brave, young, bold, knights who were looking for reasons why it just wont stop raining and throw them into the deep end of his pool which was filled with water and some man-eating puyas and kydmyn who would disembowel the knights quite easily. Not feeling very comfortable with this, the knight left the chair where it was and continued on his quest. Meanwhile, in algeria, a very smart kitty was busy pushing buttons on somebody's cd player attempting to get it to play the track before trach one, but little did the cat know that on most cds, there is no trak xero. The lords of acid were really trying to mess with peoples heads this time!!! by the time the knight returned to his village, the water had receded, but it was still dark. He requested that the town be renamed to 'midnight in a perfect world' because he really liked it there and it was always really really dark. The mayor just stared at him for a while and then said 'how can it be perfect? since theres no light we can't grow korn, and a world cant be perfect without korn!! and we can't have our annual greenday because we can't tell if anything is green!!!'. so sadly, the knight returned to his house to sleep, eat some soulcrackers and get nsync with himself once again. But rob zombie was already waiting for him there with the silverchair........ to be continued....

12/28/01
please ignore all of the following

i think, because there is nothing else i can think of to do tomorrow (unless u have any suggestions),
i will write something. oh and btw i broke a drumstick today.
hit the snare a bit too hard. snare snarl snail
nails lains slain ailns alnis? oui, bien sur; je ne voudrais pas tempus fugit.
"Bam!"- emril. "nevermore, nevermore quoth the raven" -the raven being quoth
"i think i can, i think i can i think i can...." -the little engine that could
"Of course I invented the internet" -al gore
"ouch, whats with these apples falling on my head" -sir issac newton
"click click boom" -saliva
"al gore didnt invent the internet, i did" -bob taylor
"64kb or ram should be enough for anybody. why would you need more than 64 kb??" -bill gates
"apple II forever!!" -steve jobs
"we are direct descendants of monkeys" -darwin
"your virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese" -shakespeare
"you lily-livered action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable, finical rogue!"- also shakespeare
"where are my cheezy poofs!!!" -cartman.
"mmm mmm mm mmmm mmmmm" -kenny
"if other intelligent forms of life existed in the universe and were able to move about instellar distances, the entire universe would have been completely poulated about 2.5 million years ago" -the percolation theory paradox
"if every pixel has the equivelant of one bit, and if those bits are either on or off, which would cause that pixel to be either on or off, we can map the bits in pixels and create a display. now we need to make an incredibly simple but extremely hard to make program to do window management!" - The Alto team at xerox parc
"I call it BitBlT" - butler lampson.
"if a parable is not a parabola and a parabola is not a peach and a peach is not a plum and a plum is not a parable then how could a parable ever be grapefruit?" -nobody

fly times when youre snorkling the acetate and plying the cearmics and basking in the dense brush of the monumental limes of the bushmen on the 21st moon of jupiter. while consuming chocolate bagpipes on a sunny day thats snowing like tootsie pops in the atlantic ocean.   happy shoe year.achieve new balance.

12/28/01
i finally figured out what 'click click boom' is about!!
they're trying to warn tap dancers not to practice in landmine fields!!
click....click....BOOM! hehe

12/28/01
yeah why couldn't i be allergic to a less-found family pet- like monkeys!
if i was allergic to monkeys i wouldnt have to much of a problem. u need
a computer literate helper monkey, i think that would help. since im not
allergic to moneys we could see if we could train a monkey to do on site
computer tech support! and we could win a nobel prize!!

3/13/02
she actually didnt seem to mind the music while at the talent show, she was there and was sitting on the floor in front while we were playing...... i dont think she would really want to be in a very loud crowded room for 6 hours while we procrastinate and make jokes about music groups she's never heard of before........ at least i can confirm that she likes techno because the only music she likes is from anime soundtracks, which for the most part is techno. really really reaaly good artist. i was thinking somewhere along the lines of dinner or something like that because it would be easier to talk and so far, i've been able to talk to her without mentioning the weather once ( i'm going to have to pay my parents back eventually for all the hours of blabing about the weather i did with miriam....... i think i'll feel guilty about that for a while) bowling would be interesting.... this is so wierd i'm really not sure of what she wants nor how to ask. i think might be easier when we get back to school because it probably just will be (sounds like enough of a reason). pleeese give me some of that medication....... i'm really over analyzing everything and it sssuuuuuxxxx. lol the first thing by brother said when i got home earlier was "you both tried to go though the door at the same time". that must have looked stupid. i was actually asking her a question though, so i wasnt focusing on getting through the door at the time so i didnt get through the door fairly well. maybe if i get coordinated enough to sing and play drums at the same time i'll have enough skills to open the door for my girlfriend and ask her a question at the same time without absoloutely looking like an idiot. I really want to make a movie about this whole thing one day. and exaggerate it. alot. i think ive been wanting to make a movie about everything. it wouldnt be very interesting by about the 3rd one though because they would all be the same. now im getting really paranoid because she didnt respond to my email from last night yet, even though i was paranoid about that earlier before the movie and she didnt seem to really dislike me before even though she hadnt replied yet and ahhhhhhhhhhh calm down calm down calm down. i hope it doesnt get like this with everything. doesnt help that the movie was mostly about a guy ho was schitzophrenic. thats why i dont like movies; i start believing them. they give me nightmares. imagine if everything you thought you knew was really an illusion and all of a sudden someone realized that you were talking to people who werent real and doing things for organizations that didnt exist but you still saw them anyway because it all looks so darn real...... (im not talking about me) nevermind. mmmmm tea. i havent played drums yet today so im tapping on things. this desk is good for that because it has plexiglass over it and makes a nice tapping sound for a snare. sooooooooo how's life? i have a felling jessie would get along well with rachel levine.... they both like anime and are intelligent. hooray for intelligent people!!! oh well. no matter what happens anywhere on earth the universe will still keep expanding and contracting anyway. what would life be like without some paradoxes thrown in? God must have a cooking show- "today we're going to make Earth! so you start with a bit of this, add some nitrogen, oxygen, ammonia and ozone, some volcanoes and assorted other landforms, an ocean for those poor bastards to drown in and sink their unsinkable ships in, some grass that needs to be obsessively cut and maintained, some wolves and birds and snakes here and there, adam and eve go in this pathetic little happy-happy utopian garden, and for a final touch *BAM* some paradox to confuse the hell out of them so they never will be able to know which way is up, what color is pink, nor will they ever be able to tell that 2+2 does not equal 4 but rather nothing because math doesnt actually exist! ha!" if God can really see everything, God must be very perverted. watching all those people have sex while they dont know theyre being watched. i wonder if anyone has tried estimating the number of people who engage in sex-related activities every minute..... its got to be pretty high. heres my new theory on society: society cannot actually exist. Since there is no 'I' in 'team', and there is no 'team' in 'humanity', there can't be and 'I' in 'humanity' !!! so society cannot exist because nobody is actually part of it, and therefore its all in our heads and therefore if we still all believe that society exists then we all must be schitzophrenic!!! la da dee da la la la dee da dee da *dances with self while humming*. anyway umm yeah. i wonder if she responded to the email by now. i really hope she still likes me after that. i really hopes she wants to go out with me again. I really hope she (and her mother) dont think i'm a sex-obsessesed idiot who stumbles in doorways and cant think about anything but sex and the weather (hmmmm if i did only think about sex and the weather i would have to either be from England or Seattle). ive given up on porn because it just is boring. very. not exciting. not worth the time or hard disk space. which is why i think i have a girlfriend now but that brings its own problems (at least girlfriends dont take up hard disk space, well for most people at least) and now im sitting here typing like a rabid duck (whatever that means) about just about everything i think just because well i dont know why but its satisfying anyway, and because im not quite to the point with jessie that i can tell her anything i feel like or think without being looked at very strangely (odd how people who are already looked at strangely by other people can kind of square that and be looked upon strangely by other strangely looked upon people who are very strange to be looked at) although i think she understands somewhat of where of im coming from because everyone who lives in bethel and has every attended any bethel school has a level of understanding somewhere that far exceeds anything else, because deep down we all know that the bethel school system isnt a school system at all but rather a lack of one. in other words we all know it to be the bethel school anti-system and therefore we all know nevermind that doesnt matter. she doesnt know that I can be funny yet but thats only because i havent ben to the point where i can tell her everything im thinking. what i think is funny. what i say is stupid. what i look like while im thinking, saying, and trying to open the door for somebody im staring at because theyre absoloutley beautiful is even worse than just about everything i can think of. worse than having a condom stuck in your hair and walking into school with it like that without anyone noticing..........and ive only been going out with her since umm friday which makes it all of 6 days and i cant be expecting too much in 6 days especially from someone whos barely hugged a guy in her life, although I bet theres some who legally meet, talk, seduce, and marry all in one day than divorce and do it again the same day a week later. odd how these darned humans work. hmmm if i cloned myself an infinite number of times and then cloned jessie an infinite number of times, there'd be an infinite number of chances I would have to go out with her again! or not.....but anyway you must really be thinking (if youre actually reading this) that have probably been drinking expired tea (not true) and you probably have on your hand on the phone and youre looking up the main number for the phyciatric ward at danbury hospital (ha! caught you this time). its mainly that this is not the room i usually think in and ive been doing a fair amount of thinking in here because i like this computer more than my brother does even though he paid for it. and this keyboard makes me want to write more and more and its a great feeeling fingers rapidly press keys although i know i'll have carpel tunnel syndrome in 5 years i just cant stop.... what if this message became infinite? would you spend the rest of your natural life reading everything i was spending the rest of my natural life typing? that would be wierd and we would both gain alot of weight but i bet it would be possible, and there would be a nice entry in the guiness book of world records etc etc, but im not sure if it would be completely worth it. you can stop reading here if you want i bet there wont be very much interesting below this. not that i am running out of ideas (i wasnt aware that I ever had any in the first place and Ive written all this already which is fairly impressive for a pointless, aimless, idealess email)but rather that I do not want to be blamed with wasting the rest of your time to infinity reading that blabber that im producing as im enjoying the feeling of my fingers rapidly pressing keys on a keyboard im not completely familiar with in a room thats not my own in world i do not yet completely control neither physically nor mentally, while 3 minutes down the road from somebody i went to a movie with earlier, and about 2 lightyears from a big huge gargantuous ball of gas that pleasantly gives us light when we're rotated right enough for it to do so. not so pleasant that its going to encapsulate us and slowly fry us alive in 5 million years if we cant end war and feed people and bring peace to all nations and get the hell of this rotating ball of dirt before that big ball of gas explodes, then inverts itself and begins turing the earth into a peice of matter smaller than anything we know of, that being the result of reaching singularity. so while im worrying about whether or not im still loved and whether or not the evolved form of humanity will be sucked into the inverse remains of the sun in 5 million years, other people down around the world are having themsleves a grand ole' time smoking and drinking and having themselves some good down-home county lovin' (a.k.a. sex). where would we be without those people? well we would still be here but there wouldnt be quite as many of us and china might not have been communist. and there might not be as many civil rights groups up their ass about taking away girls from their families in order to limit the number of people who want to have themselves some grand ole' country lovin in the future. And if nero hadnt burned down rome we might have been under the power of the roman empire because they wouldnt have needed to spend all their money rebuilding an entire city of such magnitude. imagine bowing down to statues of romulus and remus and wearing a toga and speaking latin and and and and having big arches and pillars and domes on every building. and not having flushable toilets. at least the romans had locks. hmmm anyway im going to tape my fingers to each other now so they no longer feel like making themselves free and flying over these keys and assembling wierd meaningless sentences on a screen which are being produced by a trick of light on a phosphorus covered peice of glass. I hope she still likes me.

3/13/02
I tell you more of what goes on then my parents, my brother, the Rabbi, etc. the only person I tell more about what goes on then you is myself. thats because you read it. i know there has to be somethings somewhere that you don't care about in what I write to you, you would have to essentially be me to be able to care about everything that I say.
We are not all clones, and therefore it must, will, and shall continue working this way; to varying degrees. my obsessive compulsiveness forces me to be absoloutely paranoid about everything that could possibly affect me and therefore i feel I must know absoloutley everything there is to know, which is why I listen to people. I need to analyze them, know everything about them before I am somewhat statisfied. Is that a good thing? certainly not, its a pain in the ass because Im always on the brink of having a nervous breakdown. I would rather be like brian because his heart rate will rarely ever go above 70 bpm unless hes running or something like that. He will probably outlive me by at least 10 years if things dont change around me because my resting pluse is like 90 bpm, despite low blood pressure. the point is that he is a more relaxed person. you are in between those two extremes (i think, dont kill me if im wrong). ok wait i lost where i was going with that, anyway, he isnt that bad. the more people you meet, the more flaws you will be able to see in specific people because you have more to compare them against..... that doesnt mean its a tragic flaw, and that doesnt mean things dont change. you seem to usually be fine about it when we're all here and I'd like it to stay that way because making things more complex isnt about to help anyone. i think i may have blown everything out of proportion but thats because im paranoid right now, and I like being in a band, and we're sooooo damn close to actually having something that will be on every radio station in the country-- im serious. If we can get some good recordings together (need adat) i think at least someone out there will at least be interested in signing us. i always liked the feeling that this whole thing was meant to happen because its a nice happy idea, and i also thouht that was why we rejected the idea of bringing in a 4th person. there is some odd way in which we do think somewhat similarly. enough of that, im going get everyone in trouble if i keep going.