Hi. My name is... Another wyrm approaches, Hail to the king baby. Remember the name of that guy you met on Saturday night?. Rick no... Mark...Jim, you know the guy with the spikey hair. Oh yeah. it was Jack, I think. Nevermind, IM trying to subtly point out that this particular literary gem is about names, a much more interesting topic than you may think. Most names Originate from Latin, old English, Greek, Arabic and Teutonic languages and their derivatives. And although our modern English 'borrows' (steals) heavily from all of the above, causing for great confusion about some names, chances are if you look hard enough (on the net) or heaven forbid in books (those strange things that clutter up that big building on campus) You will no doubt find an origin and a rather vague meaning for yours. But the question is, does it mean anything? does your name have any part in shaping your destiny or is it as worthless as a two week teaching recess?. Well here comes a fallible theory, with more flaws than a student body election. What's in a name? If you listen to some individuals, your name comes to you by cosmic divination. It represents more than just your title. It has a profound affect on who you are and who you will be. I find this view a little too eccentric for mine. I propose a different idea. My theory... Why should naming a baby be anything different to naming a species, or a lifestyle, or a behavior or an object. Naming something is simply a means of classification, a means of differentiating one thing from another. We name things so we can better understand them, so we can place them in groups and it allows us to study, to compare and to allocate underpinning assumptions and stereotypes. The best example of 'labeling' is your surname. This child is mine, how can I prove it.. because its got my name on it. Its akin to when you argue with a flatmate over who’s yogurt you just ate. "It's got my name on it you dolt, its mine. Yours is up the back, behind the vodka!". At least your first name ,(Christian name) don’t get me started on that, allows you you a certain amount of autonomy, of independence, you are labeled as a separate piece of the machine, that said , even if your a squeaky wheel or a loose screw your still part of the machine. So in essence when your parents, caregivers or whatever Politically correct term u wish to apply at this point, named you - they were labeling you. There are many examples of the tangible effects your name can have on your day to day life. Your name can result in unwanted attentions, mockery, prejudice or even outright abuse. Johnny cash told us about the boy named sue. Imagine being a girl named Bob or imagine that same young woman having a name that skipped a generation like Gertrude or Agatha perhaps. What if you shared the name of a famous/infamous person. There’s not doubt, that your name can affect your life. It can make life hell for some people, and hence the invention of the alias, nickname or pseudonym, - like mine- (tool's often employed by writers and criminals.) So why do parents do it? why do they give us names that we may dislike, names that may be so generic it makes us just one of the crowd, names that we may feel embarrassed by. the reasoning is simple, Although they may have affects on your genetics and upbringing, There’s no guarantee you will become a world class ballerina or a nuclear physicist they might wish for. Naming you is one of the few things they can do to you that will stick, although you can have your name legally changed, the original will always haunt you. Its your gift from them, weather you like it or not. Like my often lambasted CD of Hungarian polka favorites. So what’s the solution? 1: Wait until kids are old enough to choose their own names.. mmm, how many Badman’s, Pikachu's and elmo's do you want running around our schools? 2: Give them all chronologically assigned code numbers instead? - been done before I think they called it the holocaust.. 3: Have name 'lotteries', people can try to win their name of choice- People will always cheat. 4: All Have ridicuopuls 'Bond' names - as funy as it would be if we all had names like pussy galore, oddjob, rod steele and christmas jones, i doubt we can think up enough of them for 5 billion+ humans. Cryptic: Look for an Anacronym, first 5 sentances. Wisdom: Why do I have to be the wise one. web: www.geocities.com/thewyrmhole