I would like to voice a complaint to the board. Why do cute fuzzy animals like to burn our minds with their compulsive crotch cleaning? If you have ever witnessed this phenomenon, then you must know of what I speak. Let me describe it for you…
    Here you are sitting in your favorite chair reminiscing over all the fun times you had with your dog/cat and some silent alarm goes off in the animal’s head. I theorize it must be seem something like this. WARNING CROTCH AREAR IS BECOMING UNSANITARY! RUSH TOUNGE INTO BUTT AREA FOR IMMEDIATE CLEANING ACTION!! WARNING! Naturally with all these important sounding warnings going off in their subconscious, your pet’s cute looking tongue finds it’s way to the unsanitary place in question.
    I have observed this behavior and I realized that the movement which brings the tongue to the crotch is like a massive twitch. Either they do this to make it obvious that they are in fact taking care of business in front of your chair. Or they are obeying an age old compulsion that they just can’t do anything about even if they cared about our particular sensitivities.
    Unfortunately for those dog owners, most likely you were thinking about those adorable ‘doggy kisses’ that you recently received to the face. Not so adorable anymore.
    But of course the dog will never be able to understand our strange compulsions. Having to do with jumping up and heading to the nearest water spout to clean the doggy sin from our mistakenly pictured clean faces.
    And here we are, two species that just don’t get each other. Unfortunately we’re the race that keeps the crotch cleaners in our house.

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