I don't know who to trust - No surprise
(-Everyone feels so far away from me-)
Heavy thoughts sift through dust, and the lies
Trying not to break but I'm so tired of this deceit
Every time I try to make myself get back up on my feet
All I ever think about is this
All the tiring time between and how -
Trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me
Take everything from the inside
And throw it all away
'Cause I swear - for the last time-
I won't trust myself with you
Tension is building inside, steadily
Heavy thoughts forcing their way out of me
Trying to put my trust in you just takes so much out of me
I won't trust myself with you
I won't waste myself on you
When this bagan -
I had nothing to say
And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And I let it all out to find
That I'm not the only person with these things in mind
Nothing to lose
Just stuck - hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
I wanna heal / I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long
(-Erase All The Pain 'Til It's Gone-)
I wanna feel - like I'm close to something real
I wanna find something I've wanted all along -
Somewhere I Belong
And I've got nothing to say
I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere only to find -
That it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I?
What do I have but negativity?
'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else -
Until my wounds are healed
And I will never be anything
'Til I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today
I'll find myself today
When I pretend
Everything is what I want it to be
I look exactly like what you had always wanted to see
When I pretend
I can forget about the criminal I am -
Stealing second after second just 'cause I know I can
But I can't pretend this is the way it will stay
I'm just trying to bend the truth
I can't pretend I'm who you want me to be
So I'm Lying my way from you
I wanna be pushed aside so let me go
(-No Turning Back Now-)
Let me take back my life
I'd rather be all alone
Anywhere on my own
'Cause I can see
The very worst part of you - is me
I remember what they taught to me
Remember condesending thoughts of who I ought to be
Remember listening to all of that and this again
So I pretended up a person who was fitting in
But now you think this person really is me
The more I push - the more I'm pulling away
This isn't what I want it to be
I never thought that what I said would have you running from me - like this
I've lied - to you
The same way I always do
This is - the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you
Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown eventually brake down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie -
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind
The sacrifice it never knowing
WhyI never walked away
(-Why I Stayed When You Just Push Away
No Matter what you See -
You're Still So Blind To Me-)
WhyI played myself this way
Now I see - your testing me
Pushes me away
I've tried, like you, to do everything you wanted to
This is - the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you
We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds
What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I - Follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I - sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I - try to catch them red-handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness?
Or do I trust nobody and live in lonliness?
'Cause I can't hold on when I'm streched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then -
I just end up getting hurt again by myself
I ask why
But in my mind I find -
I can't rely on myself
I can't hold on
(-To What I Want When I'm Stretched So Thin-)
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on
(-To Anything-Watching Everything Spin-)
With thoughts of failure sinking in
If I turn my back, I'm defenseless,
and to go blindly seems senseless
If hide my pride and let it all go on
Then they'll take from me 'til everything is gone
If I - Let them go I'll be outdone,
But if I - Try to catch them, I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer,
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer
By Myself
How do you think,
I've lost so much?
I'm so afraid - I'm out of touch.
How do you expect,
I will know what to do?
When all I know - Is what you tell me to.
Don't you know -
I can't tell you how to make it go -
No matter what I do, how hard I try -
I can't seem to convince myself why -
I'm stuck on the outside
Part of me won't go away
Every day reminded how much I hate it
Weighted against the consequences
Can't live without it, so it's senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul and just live with a gaping hole
Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt tastes
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low 'cause it's part of me
I hardly see - Right next to the heart of me
Heard of me - The routine scar
New cuts cover where the old ones are
And now I'm sick of this
I can't stand the sandpaper thoughts that grade on my sanity
I'd rather not even be -
Than the --man that's staring in the mirror through me
Cut myself free - willingly
Stop just what's killing me
I feel it every day
I feel I'm in my way
I feel it swell up inside - swallowing me
Freedom can be frightening-if you've never felt it
Once it's been dealt with you feel like you've been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a Pool of Peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the calm when the problem's all gone
And then you start to see -
Another piece of yourself that you can't let be
Memories of the last fight to free yourself
Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well
And now you know that you can choose to lose
The part in your heart where your inside's bruised
You can live if you're willing to
Put a stop to just what's killing you
Alive on the inside of me
Everywhere I look around - I see how everything ought to be
Everytime I see myself - there's always something wrong with me
Where should I start?
Disjointed heart
I've got no commitment to my own flesh and blood
Left all alone - far from my home
No one to hear me
To heal my ill heart
I - Keep it locked up inside
If anger's a gift then I guess I've been blessed
Keep my distance from your lies
It's too late - to love me now
You have never showed me
It's too late to love me now
You don't even know me
Breaking a part of my heart to find release.
Taking you out of my blood to bring me peace.
I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static
And put my cold feet on the floor
Forgot all about yesterday
Remembering - I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
And even though you're so close to me-
You're still so distant - and I can't bring you back
Even if you're not with me - I'm with you
(-Now I See - Given Everything Inside-)
(-Now I See - Even When I Close My Eyes-)
Fine line between this and that
When things go wrong, I pretend that the past isn't real
I'm trapped in this memory
No - No matter how far we've come
I can't wait to see tomorrow
She can't hide no matter how hard she tries
Her secret disguise behind the lies
And at night she cries away her pride
With eyes shut tight and staring at her inside
All her friends know why she can't sleep at night
All her family asking if she's alright
All she wants to do is get rid of this Hell
Well all she's gotta do is stop kidding herself
She can only fool herself for so long
I'm too weak to face me
I never know - just why you run so far away from me
When it comes to how to live his life -
He can't be told
Says he's got it all under control
Thinks he knows it's not a problem he's stuck with
But in reality - it'd be a problem to just quit
An addict and he can't hold the reigns
The pain is worse 'cause his friends have it the same
Tries to slow down the problem he's got
But can't get off the carousel until he makes it stop
He can only fool himself for so long
(-Fly under me with the wings I gave you-)
(-Try To Get Closer To Me And I'll Save You-)