Back stage
Ran: Naga it was an impressive site earlier tonight when you took down the almost everyone in the ring.
Naga: Of course it was impressive, and if it weren’t for a small amount of bad luck I would have claimed the top title for myself.
Ran: Still the fact your laugh can inflict such physical on another human being must bother you in some small way.
Naga: It’s not my fault that not everyone is Strong enough to handle Naga the White Serpent (laughs).
Ran covers her ears and looks to be in serious pain. Lina Inverse stomps into shot
CEO: Oh dear Lina is still in a foul mood after being knocked out by Naga earlier.
Ruri: Ran’s ears appear to be bleeding, someone should get the paramedics back there.
CEO: Forget that if someone doesn’t calm down Lina the whole building could go up.
Lina: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HIT ME IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A DAMN WRENCH! I’M THIS CLOSE TO BLOWING YOU INTO PIECES.
Naga: Lina you really are a baby! If you can’t take a little tap to the back of the head you really shouldn’t be putting yourself into such dangerous situations.
Lina: TAP? I was bleeding!
Naga: Well my short flat chested friend you and I should settle this in a match on the next broadcast.
Lina: Ok you’re on….. YOU JUST CALLED ME FLAT CHESTED!
Naga: No. I called you short and flat chested.
Lina: Oh you are so going to pay for that.
Lina begins moving hands to form a fireball just as the referees rush in to break things up. Lina and Naga are dragged off screaming at each other.
Back in the arena.
Ruri: As an old rivalry continues right now a new one begins.
CEO: David Blaine, the master illusionist, has brought magic into the 21st century with his impressive array of street tricks and his high profile stunts. Harry Potter is a young wizard who has been responsible for defeating the evil Lord Voldermort….why are these two fighting Ruri?
Ruri: Beats me!
CEO: Oooookay. The ref for this match is Drusilla who I believe to be a bit crackers.
Ruri: Hold on a moment CEO. It looks like we are being joined by our Extreme Champion Arnold Rimmer.
CEO: This is certainly a surprise. I would’ve thought you would be keeping your head down.
Rimmer: Why would you think that?
Ruri: Well considering the way you hid during...
Rimmer: (interrupts) Just because I’m not one of these rough and ready muscle brained gimboids, who pump iron all day and parade around in there mothers underwear all night, doesn’t mean I can’t win using my keen sense of self preservation.
Ruri: I was saying that considering the way you hid during the start of that match I wouldn’t have you down as the any challenge any time type.
Rimmer: Sorry?
CEO: That’s right. The aWE Extreme Title is our Hardcore belt. If you hold it you must defend it at all times 24/7.
Ruri: (sarcastic) I wonder where we got that idea from?
CEO: shhhh!
Rimmer: Oh Smeg!
Iron Man flies into the arena and lands in front of the announce desk.
Iron Man: I’m challenging you for that belt right now.
Rimmer: Well I’d love to but I can’t because.. there is obviously a very good, and that reason obviously is……………… Not a chance you metal Bastard.
Rimmer jumps the barrier into the crowd and runs off, Iron man follows.
CEO: Sorry about that ladies and gentleman, but it looks like we wont be joined by Rimmer after all.
Ruri: He can really move when he wants to.
CEO: Damn right.
“It’s a kind of magic” by queen starts playing.
Ruri: Harry Potter is making his way to the ring.
CEO: He seems slightly nervous, but he’s managed to defeat the evil Lord Voldermort so I don’t think he’ll be having much trouble with a man whose most amazing trick to date has been to stand in a block of ice for a few hours.
Ruri: Do you have to run down these matches before they even begin?
CEO: just saying.
Ruri: David Blaine is on his way, unlike Potter he seems to be completely reserved about the whole situation, you could hardly tell he was having any emotions at all.
CEO: (says to self) I wonder who that reminds me of.
Ruri: (glares)
David Blaine walks over to announce table holding a deck of cards.
David Blaine: Both of you take a card from any where in the deck. CEO and Ruri take a card.
David Blaine: Now hold onto those cards and don’t show them to anybody.
David Blaine enters the Ring.
Ruri: I wonder what that was all about?
CEO: Drusilla calls for the bell to start things off……. And wanders to the corner for a lie down.
Ruri: She seems to be in a dazed state. Whose idea was it to make her a Ref?
CEO: Back to the match, and Potter is wasting no time delivering shin kicks to Blaine.
Ruri: Blaine is hobbling round the ring in pain. He needs to create some offence or he’ll be crippled before this match begins.
CEO: Ooh! There’s some offence for you as Blaine delivers a downward elbow strike to the head.
Ruri: With Potter stunned Blaine intends to take full advantage as he hits a suplex.
CEO: Potter took the mat hard on that one. Blaine now delivers an elbow to the sternum knocking some more wind out of Potters sales.
Ruri: Blaine looking for a high impact move as he climbs the turnbuckle.
CEO: Blaine takes off into a frog-splash, but Potter moves at the last minute leaving Blaine to hit the mat.
Ruri: Potter rolls outside the ring, he appears to be looking for something under the apron.
CEO: And he’s found it, Harry Potter has found his magic wand. I’m sure if our Ref wasn’t deeply disturbed by constant hounding and murder of her family before being turned into a Vampire, would put a stop to that.
Ruri: Well at the moment she appears to be dancing to some invisible band that exists only inside her head.
CEO: Potter back in the ring stalking Blaine.
Ruri: Harry Potter hits him with a bolt from that wand of his sending Blaine flying into the corner.
CEO: Potter raises his wand for another strike, BUT DAVID BLAINE COUNTERS BY THROWING A PACK OF CARDS INTO POTTERS FACE!
Ruri. More than that CEO, the lenses of Potter’s glasses have been blocked by two playing cards.
CEO: Hey look! Those are the cards we picked out earlier. Wow that’s pretty clever.
Ruri: Back to the action as Blaine throws Potter into a corner and pummels him to his knees.
CEO: Oooh! Potter counters with a low blow right to the nuts of David Blaine.
Ruri: Potter follows with a neck breaker. Blaine is out cold. Potter could be in luck as Drusilla snaps out of her trance and seems to be paying attention.
CEO: Potter climbs the turnbuckle and hits a textbook moonsault.
Ruri: Drusilla sees the cover and counts 1..2.
Skeletor Jumps out of the crowd with a pipe and pulls Drusilla out of the ring.
CEO: THE REF HAS BEEN STOPPED BY SKELETOR WHAT IS THAT EVIL S.O.B DOING HERE.
Ruri: Skeletor is in the ring beating Potter and Blaine with a lead pipe, this
is sick CEO: BUT WAIT SOMEONE ELSE IS RUNNING DOWN THE RAMP!
Ruri: Its the aWE Undisputed Champion Fox Mulder.
CEO: And as Mulder hits the ring Skeletor retreats back into the crowd.
Ruri: Medics have been called for Potter and Blaine.
CEO: That Skeletor doesn’t give a damn about anyone.
Ruri: While the Medics tend to Potter and Blaine, Ran is back stage with one of the competitors in the main event, Blade.
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