2/1/2008 12:26 PM-

 

After getting myself cleaned up, diapered and dressed for the day, I had to go out in my Ute over to the Town Municipal Building, to get it “Registered” for the upcoming year, until March of 2009.

 

After I arrived back home, Nate went out on errands, including going to the grocery store for Dad. Who knows when he will be back home here. I myself cleared out the kitchen sink for Dad a short time ago, and now the Visiting Nurse is here to check on Dad. Not sure why, but I have been feeling sad this morning.

 

2/1/2008 4:37 PM-

 

Just had Supper, and I placed the 1st load of clean clothes in the dryer for Dad, and started another load of dirty laundry in the washing machine for him.

 

To “entertain” myself, before watching the evening news, I am watching an old episode of “CSI” on DVD on my computer.

 

2/1/2008 5:18 PM-

 

This evening is I guess one of those times, when I am experiencing a lot of “fermentation” gas discharge problems. Must be what I ate for Lunch. I did “finish off” whatever was left of the Seafood Salad” as a Sandwich today.

 

2/1/2008 5:23 PM-

 

“Outside” it is raining. Well, not just rain, but “Freezing Rain”. Earlier this afternoon, when I was out over @ the Kelley Library to read my e-mail, there was Sleet.

 

2/1/2008 6:51 PM-

 

Had spent a while, playing my guitar, and picking up and playing my banjo a bit.

 

2/2/2008 9:32 AM-

 

Have been watching a couple of episodes of that old “Thundercats” cartoon on my computer.

As I mentioned in an earlier journal entry, the “evil” Mutants here, S-Slythe, Jackalman, Monkian, and Vultureman, look like members of the present Republican Party Executive Administration.

 

S-Slythe = “Prince Mega-Death”/AKA Vice President “Dick” Cheney

 

Jackalman = “King George W. Bush”

 

“Monkian” = “Sir Kill-A-Lot” = “Donald Rumsfeld” (former Defense Secretary)

 

Vultureman = “Grimmagh Worm-Tongue”/AKA White House Political “Hack”, “Karl Rove”

 

2/4/2008 8:55 AM-

 

Have not written in my journal again for a couple of days. Yesterday, I did not watch the “Super Bowl” Football Game on television. Instead, I watched “Star Trek: Enterprise” on the “Science Fiction Channel” on Dad’s television in his bedroom.

 

This morning, I am washing my bed sheets “again”, and a reusable bed pad, because I “massively” flooded them last night while I slept, even though I was heavily diapered and wearing a pair of “Salk Brand” Snap-On “reusable” adult diaper covering pants. I myself got out of bed after 8:00 AM, and I got myself cleaned up, diapered, and dressed for the day.

 

Yesterday evening, I “performed an experiment”, accessing the Internet via my Cellular Telephone. I entered via the “keypad”, the 2 words, “Diaper Discipline” into the “provided” Search Engine, and it is “true”, that “evil, satanic bad websites” are available via Cellular Telephones. I experienced intense internal “rage”, and I “turned my damned Cellular Telephone – OFF!!!”, That “Evil Bad Stuff” is now “everywhere” @ the push of a few keys – anywhere in the world.

 

DAMN!!!!! DAMN!!!!! DAMN!!!!!

 

2/4/2008 9:14 AM-

 

Time for me to vacuum the floor here in the downstairs Den room, although I am cognitively bothered by the sound the vacuum cleaner makes when operating. Saturday evening, Nate used the upstairs upright vacuum cleaner, and I had to stay in my bedroom, to “get away from the machine’s annoying sound”.

 

2/4/2008 9:52 AM-

 

Just “angry”, that more “junk” is getting “dumped” downstairs here. Anyway, Nate does not “bother” to take “bulk groceries” like tissues, and bottles of soda pop out of their grocery bags and “leaves them all over the floor of the Den room here”. They should be “arranged” neatly, where they can be accessed and used accordingly. Sometimes, I forget that “rule” too.

 

2/4/2008 10:24 AM-

 

Getting my “blankies” washed too, because they also smell of pee-pee…To be “expected”, since I am “totally pee-pee incontinent” 24 hours a day.

 

2/4/2008 11:24 AM-

 

Nate went out grocery shopping for Dad, and brought back Hamburgers for him and Dad, and a hot Fish Sandwich for me for Lunch, while he was out. Before he returned home, I myself watched the gentle, nonviolent children’s animated “Phonics/Spelling” cartoon, “Word World” on WENH-TV, Channel 11 (PBS).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/4/2008 3:09 PM-

 

Had just arrived back home from going out in my Ute to the Kelley Library, and then spending time driving around town here in Salem, to take a few digital photographs.

This is a small shopping plaza a couple hundred feet or so south of the intersection of NH Route 28 and Kelley Road here in Salem. In this shopping plaza, is Salem, NH’s evil, satanic “Filthy Bad Magazine/Video/DVD Store”.

This is looking south on NH Route 28 here in Salem, from that “same location”.

Here is the front entrance to the Rockingham Park Horse Racing Track. They want to “convert” the place into a “Gambling Casino”. My answer to that is “NO!!!!! NO !!!!! NO!!!!!”.

 

Why? “Gambling” is sinful and evil, and destroys families, communities, ect. Once “Casino Gambling” comes, it brings evil satanic “Loan Sharking” plus massive amounts of “Violent Murders”, “Violent Home Invasion Robberies”, “Wholesale Arson Fires – to drive the poor & elderly, & disabled” – “onto the streets”, and into “overwhelmed homeless shelters, ect.”, plus a massive amount of “Godless Sexual Prostitution Filth”, wherever “Gambling Casinos” have been built.

This is the “newer” Windham Inn Resturant on Route 111A, a couple hundred feet from the Intersection of NH Route 111 and NH Route 111A (Which is “Klemm’s Corner”). The original “Windham Inn Resturant” was on NH Route 28, south of Windham Depot Road.

Hmm? Before I forget, I took this photograph of this “old” building, which has small shops & office space, that is “behind” the “Used Car Dealership” @ the corner of NH Route 28 and Kelley Road here in Salem. The previous photograph of that small shopping plaza, with Salem’s evil, satanic “Filthy Picture Magazine/Video/DVD Store” would be to the left, off the page…

 

2/4/2008 3:53 PM-

 

I find myself needing my soft little purple “Bunny” cuddle toy to hold and hug. As an autistic developmentally-disabled adult, I do not want gambling and evil bad people, coming into my hometown of Salem, New Hampshire to “destroy it”.

 

2/4/2008 3:59 PM-

 

Time to watch my “Paddington Bear” DVD on my computer. Earlier today, before I went out in my Ute to the Kelley Library, I watched “MisterRoger’s Neighborhood” on WENH-TV, Channel 11 (PBS).

 

2/4/2008 4:45 PM-

 

I was interrupted a short time ago, to have Supper. It was Chicken ð with Vegetables. Anyway, I have gone back to watching “Paddington Bear” on my computer here in the downstairs Den.

2/4/2008 6:57 PM-

 

Arrived back home a few minutes ago, after going out in my Ute over to the Kelley Library again to read my e-mail.

 

Right now, I do feel a bit disillusioned with the Internet or should I refer to as the Interfilth Network. There is just too much garbage filth on it, and it should be “cleansed”. Originally the Internet was only supposedly for use by the military, Engineers, and Scientist.

 

An easy way to find “filth” on the Internet, is type the following into any Internet Search Engine:

 

“Diaper Discipline”

 

Just last weekend, 3 of the primary undersea telecommunications cables to the Islamic Middle East were “cut”, and I think, that it was an Islamic Terrorist Attack, to “cut off” the Middle East’s Internet Access, for reasons of “Sexual Immorality” Online.

 

2/4/2008 7:32 PM-

 

With me being a “Gay” developmentally-disabled autistic adult, why am I being such a darn “Hellfire & Brimstone” style “prude”? As a person who was “molested” in early childhood, I feel “revulsion” regarding anything of a “sexual nature”. Yet, sometimes, I do seem to very rarely try and see what that “grown-up” stuff is “all about”. Sometimes when all alone in my own bedroom, either early in the morning, or @ naptimes, and @ bedtime, I look down @ my adult-sized urinary/fecal “incontinence” diaper, and I wonder what to do about the physiological sensations/feelings I experience inside my diaper originating were pee-pee comes from on my body. Being autistic, I experience “no daydreams” related to the physiological sensations/feelings inside my diaper. I simply do not know how to “daydream/imagine” that way. Whenever I am alone by myself in my bedroom, I find myself asking my plush toy cuddle animal friends in a gentle soft childlike voice, about the physiological sensations/feelings I experience @ times.

 

Even “wondering” about this sort of thing, makes me feel like wanting to “hide myself away” in my bedroom “forever”, & I start thinking I am a terrible bad person, because I experience these “bad, dirty” physiological sensations/feelings inside my urinary/fecal incontinence diapers every day @ different times of the day during 24 hours.

 

Tomorrow evening is going to be “very difficult” for me, because Mrs. Ellingwood @ Derry Community Television, might need me to videotape an “Open Public Forum” about Satanic Evil People who harm children sexually for “broadcast” over Derry Community Television. All the “talking” about those satanic evil grownups will “make me feel very scared and not feel safe”. Like it or not, I will have to absolutely make sure I take a soft plush cuddle toy with me when I go there, to help me to “feel safe” and “less afraid” when Derry Citizens and the Derry Police are there, talking about the evil bad satanic people who hurt children, that I myself as a “survivor” of childhood sexual abuse, perpetrated against me, by my “psychopathic” Mom.

 

But I have to do this, because I have to make sure that as a volunteer videographer/reporter, the “public” in Derry, NH “has a right to know” about this issue.

 

2/5/2008 8:43 AM-

 

I wish I could just have a damn computer virus, “destroy all the pornographic filth”, “everywhere on the Internet”, across the entire planet. This morning I woke up feeling extremely internally “hateful” about having “child molesters” even “existing”. With my having been “victimized”, in early childhood by my Mom, who did “evil touching” of my body, inside my baby diapers, from the time I was 18 months old, until I was almost 5, I am so “angry”, just so “angry” emotionally inside.

 

For me, until my Primary Care Physician, Dr. Egenolf, “medicated” me on the Anti-Depressant, “Lexapro” back in March of 2005, I was @ times, several times a week, trying to “injure” and “destroy” where the pee-pee comes from on my body inside my adult-sized diaper(s) to “Atone” for all the evil, satanic “Bad Touching” my “psychopathic” Mom did to me in very early childhood.

 

As an autistic developmentally disabled middle-aged adult, I also find myself wishing I could take and shackle a damn sick “child molester’s” hands behind his back, and “hang the ‘animal’ from a tree ‘publicly’ in the park @ the corner of Main Street & School Street here in Salem Center using #10 AWG electrical wire”, and while he is “strangling”, “hack his genitals off”, and “stuff them into his mouth” after “torturing the sexual predator ‘animal’ with an electric shock Tazer”. I would then let him hang there for weeks, “rotting from that tree branch”, for everyone to see.

 

2/5/2008 9:31 AM-

 

Filled the dishwasher machine with the dirty dishes, ect., for Dad. Upstairs, Nate is getting himself cleaned up and dressed for the day. Unlike me, my little brother Nate does not need to wear and use adult-sized diapers.

 

2/5/2008 9:41 AM-

I guess I need to “think about something else”, other than about the issue of “Sexual Predators”, that I have to videotape a “public forum” on this evening @ the Derry Public Library for Derry Community Television. Anyway, here are a couple of fursuiters portraying “Bamse Bear” and his friend, “Skalman” that I pulled off of the Internet months ago.

 

2/5/2008 11:36 AM-

 

Have been too “internally upset” to eat this morning. I made sure that Dad ate and took his injection of Insulin. Nate went out on errands, including going to the grocery store. I am not sure when he will return.

Outside it is raining, and one of the shrubs next to the wheelchair ramp behind our house has a few birds in it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/6/2008 8:15 AM-

 

Yesterday evening was a “difficult” video shoot for me to perform, as a volunteer videographer for Derry Community Television. It was a 2nd “Emergency” meeting with Citizens of Derry, outraged and concerned, about a “Pedophile” who had “temporarily” moved to Derry, New Hampshire, after his “release from prison” recently, for having raped and murdered a defenseless 6 year-old girl back in 1980 (I think…). I “held myself together” – “barely”, while shooting video if this meeting, for Derry Community Television.

 

But on my way home, driving in my Ute, I started crying, and a “flood” of “very bad memories” came to the surface, about my own “psychopathic” Mom, who was never charged or convicted, “molesting me” while tied down helpless in my crib as a preschooler, and her pulling down my plastic panties and “unpinning” the diaper(s) she “forced me to wear – up until I went to Kindergarten”, and then “putting my terrible bad thing inside my diaper into her mouth” – and making my tiny little boy’s body have “evil satanic sickness physiological sensations between my legs”, from over 45 years ago.

 

I HATE YOU MOMMY!!!!
I HATE YOU MOMMY!!!!

I HATE YOU MOMMY!!!!
I HATE YOU MOMMY!!!!
I HATE YOU MOMMY!!!!

 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Which was an “infant’s cry” of “pain, suffering, and terror”…

 

Was what was “going through my mind”, over and over again, as I drove home from the Derry Public Library, where that “Emergency” Citizen’s Meeting (with the Derry Police/State Police and other State/Local Officials).

 

 

2/7/2008 9:41 AM-

 

Had already gone out to the Refuse Collection Center on Shannon road for Dad, to dispose of our household trash/recyclables for him. In a short time I have to go out to the grocery store for Dad, and bring home a “small” pizza for Lunch from the “Papa Cholesterol” Pizza Joint in the Rockingham Plaza.

 

Yesterday, I had to visit my Social Worker/Counselor, Ms. Fisher up in Derry, and I did “spill my emotional guts out”, regarding my “feelings”, as an autistic adult, and Childhood Sexual Abuse Survivor”, regarding my having to go to and videotape that “Emergency Meeting”, regarding that “Level III” Pedophile Predator from Conneticut, who tried to move into a place a couple of doors down from the Derry Montessori School for Developmentally Disabled Children in the last week. I experienced a lot of Lacrimal Gland discharge yesterday afternoon, while trying to talk to Ms. Fisher, my Social Worker about my feelings, that I have extreme difficulty in verbalizing.

 

2/8/2008 10:10 AM-

 

Jut returned home from going out to the grocery store for Dad. Yesterday afternoon, I had to go to the Derry Community Television CATV Studio, to finish that television program I videotaped of that “Emergency” Citizen’s Forum Meeting @ the Derry Public Library, regarding that Pedophile, who tried to move into Derry near a school. I saved the program onto a DVD disk for “broadcast” today, tomorrow, and Sunday.

 

Anyway, “Child Molesters”, like the one who tried to move into Derry, NH, can not be “rehabilitated”.

 

2/8/2008 12:28 PM-

 

Just got “socked” with the bill for my last visit to Dr. Egenolf. Since I “signed up” for that Anthem BCBS “Private Fee for Service Plan”, that did not take into effect, until this month. Anyway, I wrote out a cheque, and will mail it to her office later today. I am “scraping” the bottom of the barrel, until my next SSDI cheque, as an autistic developmentally-disabled adult.

 

Any way you try to “follow the rules”, and do the “right thing”, when it comes to Health Care for Disabled/Elderly people here, one simply “gets screwed-over” by the “system”.

 

I guess that Nate has a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, plus he had gone out to perform other errands he needed to perform. I am not sure when he will return.

 

2/8/2008 2:10 PM-

 

Nate called me earlier to stuff the Frozen Pizza into the oven @ 3:30 PM. Anyway, not much to do, except to hang around and perform house chores, like getting laundry washed & dried, and clearing the mess out of the kitchen sink for Dad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/11/2008 8:21 AM-

 

With having to shoot video for Derry Community Television for the past 2 days, and @ my church for Pelham Community Television, I have not had much time to write here in my journal. Yesterday evening, Nate “emotionally” blew up @ me, regarding my “autistic” “self-rocking” behavior. I simply went into my bedroom, and undressed down to my diaper, and stayed there the rest of the evening before I went to bed. While alone by myself, I played quietly with a couple small 1/64 scale toy tractors, and I read one of my books. I then only watched “Nature” on WGBH-TV, Channel 2 (PBS), before changing into a clean, dry diaper for bedtime. This morning, I have been mute and unable to even speak @ all.

 

Anyway, I find myself feeling like I am a “very bad little boy”.

Not sure why, but here is the “relevant” Manchester Union Leader Newspaper “article”, regarding that “Emergency” Citizen’s Forum Meeting I had to videotape and get onto the air on Derry Community Television a week ago.

 

Last night I had “bad dreams” all night long, about being tied down by my wrists, ankles, and waist, and confined to chair with a hole in the seat, and a large plastic pail underneath, “filled to overflowing” with my pee-pee and poo-poo. I was “facing a “barren” empty corner of a room, in my dream, with nothing but the wall to look @ in a darkened room, with little light coming in, for hours and hours, for days, weeks, and months. While tied in the chair in my dream, I could not talk or say words, and I just “rocked back and forth” constantly, and simply “thought about nothing @ all”, except the baby-talk words “pee-pee & poo-poo” and “being clean & dry”.

 

Strange as it may sound, I would @ my age of nearly 50, I would “meekly accept” having another person “physically restrain me”, an autistic developmentally disabled adult in that manner, restrained by my wrists, ankles, and waist, and simply be “left” in a “darkened room”, “all alone”, “facing a barren, empty wall”, on an “adult-sized version” of a potty chair, and only have another person only “spoon feed me pureed mushy food”, and “bottle feed me” drinks of water, juice, and “adult” liquid nutrition formula. I would also accept “never again being talked to by anyone”, and never again experiencing “social contact” with others.

 

 

 

 

2/11/2008 3:52 PM-

 

Feel sad, that really nobody has interviewed me for employment these past 7 years, since being ruthlessly “fired” from my last job, for having Autism and being a Homosexual. As I have said many times before, I am permanently “blacklisted” from employment everywhere in both the States of New Hampshire and Massachusetts. I can “walk into any employer” and I will not even be allowed to even “fill out” an application for employment, as a person with Asperger’s Syndrome. I find myself remembering from a very long time ago, when I was in High School, decades ago, anonymous notes with Nazi symbols written on them stuffed into my school locker on a daily basis for 3 years, “warning me” to never “apply for employment” anywhere in the town of Salem here where I live, “ever”.

 

2/12/2008 12:14 PM-

 

This morning, Nate had me go out in my Ute to purchase Sub Sandwiches, that he gave me the money for.

 

As I have written yesterday here in my journal, I have personally “kept my word of honor” these last 34 years, and never once, ever applied for employment anywhere in my hometown of Salem, NH since 1974, when I turned age 16, and I was “legally” able to be employed “after School”, per the instructions of whoever stuffed those “threats to torture and kill me and my entire family”, if I ever tried to “apply for employment” anywhere in my hometown of Salem, New Hampshire here.

 

We autistic developmentally disabled persons with Asperger’s Syndrome/HFA, “keep” our “word of honor”, regardless of the “personal cost to ourselves”. @ least this is “true” in my own case.

Anyway, the last couple of evenings, I have been mutely playing with my toy tractors and other vehicles I collect, “alone by myself”, in my bedroom, where I am “safe”. I also mutely played with my only “friends”, my plush stuffed animals that I still need to sleep with every single night, in order to feel “safe in this world”, as an autistic developmentally disabled person.

Being autistic and a “survivor” of early childhood “neglect” and physical/emotional/sexual abuse, @ the hands of my “psychopathic” Mom, I just do not “feel safe” anywhere outside of my own family home, where there are lots of people who just “want to abuse & hurt me”, a “high-functioning” nearly 50 year-old adult with Asperger’s Syndrome/HFA.

 

I experience @ times, a lot of “fearfulness” went outside of my own home, near other humans. When one such as myself can not “read & interpret” facial expressions & gestures, and has difficulty “processing” spoken language, with a complete inability to understand and use metaphoric language, the outside world, especially “socially” is an exceptionally terrifying place for me as an autistic developmentally disabled person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/13/2008 2:49 PM-

 

Today I had to clear the driveway of snow via machine, because it was too heavy & wet to lift by myself by hand this morning. Nate then sent me out for Cheeseburgers for Lunch, and I then had to drive to my Bank, and then to my Dentist, Dr. Finn, for another dental checkup. Otherwise, not much else has happened today. Of course, all day today so far, it has been raining heavily, and around town there are “flooded” roadways, because the rain water has “no place to go, because the ground is frozen and covered with snow.

 

2/14/2008 9:04 AM-

 

@ least the Sun is out today. Yesterday evening, I stayed up “late”, watching the science documentary series, “NOVA” on my television. While watching television, I laid there mutely in my bed, and I played with some of my infant’s teether/rattle toys, and with my big yellow “Grr-Grr” Bear friend. This morning when I woke up, the only television programs I have watched, are “Bob The Builder”, “Curious George”, and “Clifford The Big Red Dog”.

2/14/2008 9:33 AM-

 

Simply mutely playing with my Ford Model “T” “John Deere” delivery truck, after doing something Nate ordered me to do for him, which was “clear off all the snow off of Dad’s 2008 Dodge Caliber Sedan”. As an autistic developmentally disabled adult, I am always a “gopher/dofer” for others.

 

2/14/2008 9:54 AM-

 

Had to “interrupt” myself, from playing with my toy truck, to go upstairs to empty the diswasher machine of all the “clean” dishes, ect., and “put them away”. As it is, if I the “Autistic Mental Retard” does not do it, it will never get done today.

2/14/2008 11:16 AM-

 

Had already made sure that Dad “ate Lunch”, & “took his injection of Insulin”. He is now taking a nap. I myself need to “change my diaper”, because it is “very wet”.

 

2/14/2008 12:59 PM-

 

Got “screwed-over” by Medicare and Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield, over my having to “pay out of my own pocket”, a Laboratory Test “Bill” from “Quest Diagnostics” to the tune of ~$251.00¢. We developmentally disabled adults with Autism, always get “screwed” by the “garbage” Health-Care “system” wee have here in America.

 

 

 

2/14/2008 3:56 PM-

I enjoy looking @ animals. As usual, Gulls “Hang Out” in the parking lot of the Target Department Store @ the corner of NH Route 28 & Cluff’s Crossing road here in Salem.

 

2/14/2008 4:40 PM-

 

Supper tonight was Hot Dogs & Beans, heated via electromagnetic energy, @ a frequency of 1.450 GHz, the “Atomic Spin-Flip” frequency of the H2O molecule.

 

2/15/2008 3:38 PM-

 

Well, nothing like having another period of Interstitial Cystitis…My bladder has been having uncontrollable “spasms” every 30 to 45 minutes “around the clock”. Today, despite having uncontrollable bladder spasms, I took the household trash/recyclables to the refuse collection center for Dad, and I went grocery shopping for him. After Lunch, I went out in my Ute to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail, and I then drove over to the “Best Buy” Consumer Electronics/Appliance Store, and purchased the only thing on my $40.00/month “Entertainment” budget. The “choice” this month, was the History Channel “Space Science” Documentary Series, “The Universe”.

 

After arriving back home, I “took a nap”, for some “sensory down-time”, and I slept with my big yellow “Grr-Grr” Bear friend, and  when I woke up, I mutely laid in my bed in a short period of “Autistic Catatonia”, simply with my mind in “Neutral”, and not thinking about “anything”.

 

Of course, after getting out of bed after my nap time, I changed my diaper, and got myself dressed again, and I went out into the kitchen to take some Acetameniphen Tablets, and drink another glass of H2O, because I have a “runny nose”, and a mild cold. It did not help, that 2 days ago, I had to be “out in the rain”, using the snow removal machine to “clear the driveway” for my Dad. Right now, I am “washing more dirty laundry” for my Dad.

2/15/2008 4:06 PM-               Heard again from Sao Paulo, Brazil “Fursuiter”, “Corey Fox”. Just before Ash Wednesday 1 ½ weeks ago, it was “Carnival”, and he did some fursuiting. @ least he is “reasonably” “bilingual” in Portugese/English”, that I can communicate with him regarding “fursuiting”, and other things.

 

2/15/2008 4:33 PM-

 

Supper was Fish Sticks, French Fries, & Cole Slaw that Nate cooked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/16/2008 12:14 PM-

 

Woke up around 7:30 AM this morning, feeling a bit sick, and a bit fearful, from a “bad dream about “bad things happening to me”. Of course it does not help, that I came down with a cold, after having to be out in the rain this past Wednesday, “clearing snow” out of the driveway for my elderly Dad. “Timmy” Bear, and my big, yellow “Grr-Grr” Bear “comforted me and helped me emotionally feel better, after waking up from the very early morning “bad dream” I had. “G’Waffe” Giraffe friend, also helped to “chase” the “evil monsters” who do “evil bad stuff” to “autistic” developmentally disabled people like me.

 

As a “comforter” behavior, “Infantilism/Regression”, has over the decades, “kept me reasonably sane”, and helped me to “cope” with being emotionally/physically/sexually abused in early childhood, and intermittently throughout my Elementary/Middle/High School years growing up. Even as a teenager, I preferred to play with my only “living” younger brother who is 4 years younger than me, and with “his toys”, like the G.I. Joe Action Soldiers he had, and with his LEGO Blocks. I also liked playing a lot with my very small HO Scale Model Railroad trains.

 

When Nate was “away” with Mom & Dad when I was young, and I was “left all alone in the house, and abandoned”, “for hours”, as a teenager I also used to sneak into my little brother Nate’s bedroom, wearing a “diaper” I “made” out of a plastic trash bag, “stuffed” with Paper Towels, and I used to sit mutely on the floor and did autistic “self-rocking” to “comfort myself”, and I “hugged” Nate’s “utterly tattered” “Widdle Doggie” plush cuddle friend, “Wuffy Boy”, and a soft tan-colored corduroy “Baby Pillow” my beloved Great-Aunt “Marjorie” (my Dad’s Aunt) made for Nate, shaped like a “Horsie”. Horsie friend’s name was “Harry Horsie”.

 

When I was 17 years old, I used to tell “Wuffy Doggie” and “Harry Horsie”, about the “bad touches”, and the yelling, and the hitting Mom did to me. They were the “only ones” in the whole world, who “listened to me”. I also told “Wuffy Doggie” and “Harry Horsie” friends, all about the other people in School my own age, who were “very mean to me” – “all the time”, and always called me a “Mental Retard” – “or worse”, and the other stuff, like shoving me into the school corridor walls, and hitting me, and the stuff about other teenaged boys, in “Physical Education Class”, “making fun of my body”, and how a couple of them grabbed me where pee-pee comes from on my body, and they “led me around” the Boy’s Locker Room sometimes, by where my pee-pee comes from, and “humiliated me” in front of the other teenaged boys there, and called me a “Widdle Baby Girl”.   

2/16/2008 6:41 PM-

 

Supper tonight was “Home-Made” Meatball Sub Sandwiches, after I returned home from spending time @ the Kelley Library, and spending time @ the “Dollar Bill’s Discount Store” in Derry, and then going back to the Kelley library, and then over to the Border’s Bookstore in Methuen, Massachusetts, before coming back home.

”The Loop Plaza” in Methuen, Massachusetts, is a “typical” American “Big-Box Store” Shopping Plaza, with a huge parking lot for automobiles.

As for how far it is from home where I live in Salem, New Hampshire, it is only 15 minutes away, depending upon the traffic on Howe Street in Methuen, MA.

2/16/2008 7:03 PM-         Here is a “Clip Art” graphic, describing how I as an autistic person “visualize” the “metaphor” “Under The Weather”, with how I feel about having my sinus canals “clogged-up”, from catching a cold this past few days. The last time I purchased a set of Ink Jet Cartridges for my HP C3180, a small CD-ROM disk of “Public-domain” “Clip Art” came with the package.

 

2/16/2008 7:10 PM-

Hmm? I should note, that I am having an “issue” with “leaking” very small quantities of poo-poo out my bottom, during uncontrollable bladder “spasms”. Not that I am “filling” my incontinence diaper(s), but just turning the inside “slightly” poopy. My muscles, in the entire Perineal Region “spasm” “all @ once” along with my bladder.

 

2/17/2008 2:44 PM-

 

Awoke from a “long” afternoon naptime, and I just took 2 Acetameniphen tablets, because of “discomfort”, from having this darn cold. I myself have been using “pain relief” very sparingly, due to my worrying about it “interacting” with the SSRI-Type Antidepressant, “Lexapro”, that I have to take for stabilizing my emotional moods.

 

Today, was the 2nd Sunday in Lent, and as usual, Reverend Ferguson delivered a very good Sermon, about the Patriarch, “Abraham”.

 

2/17/2008 2:51 PM-

 

I have my little 5” B&W television tuned to WHDH-TV, Channel 7 (NBC), and there are “promos”, for a damn “new version” of that “sucky” old Sci-Fi Police Show, “Knight Rider”. This “proves”, that “Standard” “Over-The-Airwaves” “Network Television”, literally “has no creativity left in it”, if they have to “recycle” something like that, and “put it on the air”.

 

Anyway, it has been said, that “cultural creativity”, “went to Hell”, before the old “Roman Empire”, “fell” to the “Barbarians” too, around the time of “Emperor Honorius” in 410 AD…

 

2/17/2008 4:20 PM-

 

Nate & Dad had sent me out in my Ute over to the “McCholesterol” Fast-Food Joint on NH Route 28 here in town for Cheeseburgers & French Fries for Supper. Sunday Dinner earlier today, was Chicken Pie with Vegetables.

 

2/17/2008 4:42 PM-

 

“Replied” to an e-mail from one of my cousins on my Dad’s side of the family who lives down in Fairfax, Virginia, south of Washington, DC. Using my Cellular Telephone this way is ok, only for reasonably short e-mail messages.

 

2/17/2008 5:03 PM-

 

Had a look through some of my rough 3D sketches using DESIGNCAD, and I had done a “very rough” CGI rendering of a part of the “Eagle Transporter Spacecraft” from the old Sci-Fi TV show, “SPACE:1999”.

But, I should get back to my 8-Bit ALU design…

 

2/18/2008 9:28 AM-

 

Woke up “late” this morning. Lately, I have been “staying up later”, which does not bother me. I used to be in bed “very early”, and getting up in the morning “very early”.

Yesterday evening, I mutely played with some of my infant toys, and with “Grr-Grr” Bear, “Woggy” Froggie, “Myrtle” Turtle, and “G’Waffe” Giraffe, while watching one of my DVD’s on Astronomy on my television in my bedroom.

My Dad & Nate I guess “accept”, that for me, just mutely playing with my toys, or watching my DVD’s on Science & History, and DVD’s of  old cartoons and television programs “makes me happy” in this world, as an autistic developmentally disabled person, when I am not doing house chores or errands for them, or being out over @ the Kelley Library or over @ my church or up @ Derry Community Television.

 

Plus, there is the working @ my own workbench/computer desk in the downstairs Den room, where I can “just be alone by myself”.

 

Gentle, nonviolent “playtime” with children’s toys is a “normal” part of “me being myself”. To my younger brother, Nate, when he thinks about the concept of “playtime”, I guess that his brain thinks about “dirty bad stuff”, which is “different” for an “autistic” mind, which is me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/18/2008 4:29 PM-

 

I am used to having Dad “rage @ me”, about different things. He was angry about the dirty dishes a few minutes ago. Now they are being cleaned in the dishwasher machine. Anyway, Supper was Spaghetti. As an “Autistic Mental Retard”, I have always been a “Whipping Boy” when “things go wrong”.

 

2/19/2008 9:30 AM-

 

Washing my bed sheets, and plasticized panties, and reusable bedpad, because I “super-soaked” them last night during sleep. Right now, I am watching one of my 2 “Hello Kitty” gentle, nonviolent children’s DVD’s on my computer.

2/19/2008 9:56 AM-

 

Just got the kitchen sink cleared out of dirty dishes, ect. for Dad, and my bedsheets, plasticized panties, and reusable bed pad are in the dryer now.

One thing that is always a “must have” item when one is “totally urinary/fecal incontinent”, is that one “has to have” a “fitted” plastic bedsheet covering the mattress, to keep it from getting wet &/or poopy @ night and during naptimes. This white plastic bedsheet is easily “wiped clean”, with “disinfecting” spray cleaner, and “ready” for having my “regular” bed sheet put on later this evening, before bedtime.

 

 

 

 

2/20/2008 11:37 AM-

 

Thanks to Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield of New Hampshire, I have to “pay twice” for the services of Urologist, Dr. Chibaro, to the sum of $70.00¢, that was incurred “last year” in 2007. Needless to say, I have to “transfer” more funds out of my savings account, that I can not have any more than $2,500.00¢, to “cover” this “bill”, plus the darn “bill” for my American Express “Charge Card”, who’s “Yearly Fee” is due this month. Plus the “automatic” yearly charge Microsoft makes for my “Window’s Live” HotMail account, to keep in touch with other autistic adults, ect.

 

This is “what happens”, when I properly “play by the rules”, while I know that there are probably a lot of people, especially those on “The Dole”, who “cheat the system”. As an autistic developmentally disabled adult, I will properly “play by the rules”.

 

Present “Life’s Saving’s” Balance = $2,493.11¢

 

Present “Chequing Account” Balance = $91.53¢

 

Therefore, I will have to “deposit”, about $293.11¢ to insure “adequate” funds to “pay both bills”.

 

2/20/2008 4:55 PM-

 

Arrived back home a short time ago, after going to my bank, then the Post Office, to mail more of my “Public-Access” CATV programming “samples” to TS in the United Kingdom who has kids with Asperger’s Syndrome. I then went up to the Mall of New Hampshire in Manchester to the Best Buy Consumer Electronics Store there, to see if they have started to “carry” those “digital” television converter boxes for sale.

 

Supper tonight was “frozen” Baked Stuffed Peppers.

 

2/21/2008 11:02 AM-

 

Went out for Cheeseburgers for Lunch, per Nate’s instructions. Nate has gone out in his car up to WENH-TV, Channel 11 (PBS) in Durham, to deliver a bunch of his “framed” landscape photographs, for their “On-Air” “Spring Fundraising Auction”. Dad, just went back into his bed. He simply “sleeps too much”, which is not good.

 

2/21/2008 2:01 PM-

 

So far today, I have uncontrollably pooped my diaper twice. Nate is still out, and I am not sure when he will return home. I did watch the news a bit on the MSNBC News Channel (#40) on Dad’s telly in the Parlour, and I guess that the “thugs’ who rule Serbia, “allowed” a mob to “wreck” and destroy the US Embassy in Belgrade. Of course, the “goons” up and “burned our flag”, which is “standard procedure”, whenever there are “protests” against America.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/22/2008 10:36 AM-

 

I have no clue as to where Nate went this morning. He left home 3 hours ago. I myself cleared out the kitchen sink of dirty dishes for Dad, and I have been washing more dirty laundry for him. I myself have had no breakfast this morning, because I have “house chores to perform”.

 

2/22/2008 2:44 PM-

 

Nate arrived back home before Noon Time, and I myself went out in my Ute to the Cholesterol King Burger Joint on NH route 28 here in town, and I then stopped @ “Us’R’Toys” to purchase a little “surprise” for my pen pal friend “Stefan” in Prague, who’s 51st Birthday is a week after mine next month. I then went to the Kelley Library, to read and answer e-mail messages from my contacts in the Asperger’s Syndrome/autism Disability Community. I did hear from “James” up in Moncton, New Brunswick in Canada. Had not heard from him in a very long time.

 

The last place I went, while out in this snowstorm, was over to the Shaw’s Supermarket, to purchase a “treat” for myself, before driving back home.

 

2/23/2008 5:18 PM-

 

Not much happened today. Shoveled snow this morning, took a nap, and then went to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. Supper was Hot Dogs.

 

2/24/2008 2:14 PM-

 

Just got up from having a nap for some “sensory down time”. Needless to say, I am still trying to “get over” a cold.  Right now, my ears are “ringing” even more than usual. The issue is my Sinus Cavities inside my nose.

 

2/24/2008 2:38 PM-

 

Folded towels out of the dryer for Dad. Nate handed me money, to go out to purchase BLT Subs for Supper. Sunday Dinner today, was a whole Stuffed Roast Chicken, Baked Potatoes, and Carrots. Nate also needs me to purchase a bottle of Milk too.

 

2/24/2008 4:05 PM-

 

Arrived back home, after going out on that errand for Nate.

 

This morning, before worship, I answered an e-mail from my contact with Asperger’s Syndrome out in the Midwest using my Cellular Telephone.

 

2/24/2008 4:15 PM-

 

“Normally”, I do not watch sporting events, like Basketball, because I find the game “hard to follow”. But, I decided to turn on Nate’s old Zenith television here in his corner of the Den, tuned to WCVB-TV, Channel 5 (ABC) out of Needham, Massachusetts.

 

2/24/2008 5:05 PM-

 

Changed my diaper for the 4th time today.

 

2/25/2008 8:19 AM-

 

Yesterday evening, I did not even bother to watch the Motion Picture Academy Awards on television. Instead, I watched the news magazine program, “60 Minutes”, and then the documentary series, “NOVA”, and then a nature program, hosted by Zoologist, Dr. David Attenborough, before going to bed. All last night, I slept with my soft plush cuddle friends, “Gertrude” Gorilla, and “Woggy” Froggie. When I woke up, I watched “Curious George” on WENH-TV, Channel 11 (PBS), before getting myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day, and having Breakfast. After breakfast, I took all my “dirty” wet aduld diapers down to the trash, and I also brought downstairs more dirty laundry to wash for Dad.

 

2/25/2008 8:47 AM-

 

Just replied to an e-mail from my Asperger’s Syndrome contact in the Midwest via my Cellular Telephone. I should go back upstairs, to check to see if Nate is awake, because he has to get Dad up and ready to go to his Podiatrist appointment this afternoon.

 

2/25/2008 1:42 PM-

 

Just being mute & quiet @ home, while Dad & Nate are out. I have vacuumed down the stairs to the Den/Cellar/Garage for my Dad, and I am getting more clean clothes dried for him. Earlier this morning, I did have to go out in my Ute to fill the Jerry Can with Petrol for the snow removal machine in the garage. There will be “another” snow storm coming tomorrow. Then, before Noon Time, I mutely watched “MisterRoger’s Neighborhood” on WENH-TV, Channel 11 (PBS) on my television in my bedroom.

Just after Noon Time, Nate took Dad up to his Podiatrist appointment. Dad is now 100% “dependent” upon Nate to “take him places” in his “new” car. Dad is not allowed to drive anymore, because he would be a “menace” on the road, if he took another heart-attack or whatever.

 

I did turn on the CNN News Channel a short time ago on Dad’s television in the parlour, but there is only “coverage” of the “political campaign” for President of the United States. For “coverage” of what is “going on” in the Middle East, I will have to access the www.bbc.co.uk Website, because the BBC’s “coverage” of what is “going on” over there is “better”, and “more objective”. We are not “defeating” Al Queda, there in Iraq, which we “invaded”, to “seize” that country’s petroleum resources. In fact, our military is in a “quagmire” with “no end”. Of course, Senator John McCain, wants America to “stay there in Iraq for the “next 400 years”. And he is the “leading” Republican Party “Candidate” for President of the United States.

 

The War in Iraq, is “Wilsonsonianism” (Ideological Foreign Interventionism), gone “totally amok”. The “idea” was to “remake” Iraq in “our image”, and “to Hell” with “what the people in Iraq really want…”

 

“Democracy”, can not be spread, via the “barrel of a gun”. Even the Athenian Greeks learned this lesson, in their “ideological & military” “conflict” with the City State of “Sparta” > 2,400 years ago which lasted for decades. Sparta “defeated” Athens in the end.

 

Iraq, as a “nation state”, was “destined for failure”, because the “do-gooders” @ the Versailles Peace Conference in 1919, were “ignorant” of the “real” political & social situation in that part of the Middle East, despite, Sir Thomas Edward Lawrence’s “reports”, on what was “really going on there”, after the “collapse” of the Ottoman Turkish Empire, in the aftermath of the 1st World War. “ignorance”, and out-right “arrogance” on the part of the British, French, and American Governments @ that time “sowed the seeds” for the “creation” of Muslim Terrorist Movements, which have evolved over the past 89 years into Al Queda, Hamas, Hezbollah, & the Taliban, ect.

 

Also, it does not “help”, that the present “leadership” in Washington, DC, is very much “beholden to”, and “under the thumbs” of “Radical” Right-Wing Fascist “Christian Fanatics”, for “propping up” the “Republican Political Party”, who have as “their own agenda”, “Igniting Armageddon”, because they want “Jesus Christ” to “show up right now”, to “rule over the whole of Mankind”, with a “Totalitarian Iron Fist”, and “stamp out forever”, all other “religions”, and just “get rid of all the ungodly”.

 

2/25/2008 3:15 PM-

 

Nate & Dad returned home a short time ago, and Nate went back out in Dad’s car to the Rite-Aide Pharmacy next to the Post Office, to purchase more prescriptions for Dad. I am not sure what Nate has planned for Supper.

 

Also, I just changed my diaper for the 3rd time today.

 

2/25/2008 3:23 PM-

 

Experiencing “frustration”, that Nate has not returned from the Pharmacy. He has been gone for 50 minutes, and “he” is the one cooking Supper tonight. It is very difficult for autistic people like myself, who “rely” upon “others” to “keep their word”, because we “take what other people say – literally”. Nate had better be home by no later than 3:45 PM or I will end-up having another “Autistic Temper Tantrum”.

 

2/25/2008 3:32 PM-

 

Already have started “verbalizing” out-loud “internal thoughts, related to Nate not being home yet to cook Supper, which he gave me no “plans or instructions for”, as I sit here @ my computer here in the downstairs Den room.

 

I get so darn angry, whenever Nate just “goes off” even on an errand for Dad, when it is damn “late” in the afternoon, and “Supper” has to get “cooked”, and there are “no instructions” given to me, as to what Supper “will be”.

 

Unlike an autistic developmentally disabled adult like myself who has a “hyperfocusing one-track mind”, Nate as a “Neurotypical”, always just “changes his mind”, @ the “drop of a hat”, to use the cliché. I can not tolerate “abrupt changes”, and “other people”, “changing their minds” – “when the whim suits them…”.

 

2/25/2008 3:56 PM-

 

Well, Nate just arrived back home, and is now cooking Supper. I guess that it is Pancakes again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/27/2008 8:46 AM-

 

Just got myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. Jesterday, there was a small snowstorm in the evening, but it did not leave much snow on the ground here. Yesterday, I had to retrieve Nate from the Repair Shop & Allen Dodge in Derry, because his car needed to get fixed. Not just having a tire & rim replaced, but needing a complete front-end alignment. Nate then had me purchase Cheeseburgers for Lunch yesterday. I then went to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail, and I then went up to the Derry Community Television CATV Studio to my volunteer job. On my way there, I stopped @ the Walgreen’s Pharmacy in Derry to purchase another package of “adult-sized disposable diapers”. But they were all out of “super-large disposable bed pads”. I had to go across the street to the Rite Aid Pharmacy there on Crystal Avenue (NH Route 28) to purchase those.

 

Before going to the CATV Studio, I videotaped Glaucus Gull “behavior” there in the parking lot of the Hood Plaza Shopping Center off of Crystal Avenue there in Derry. @@ the Studio, I uploaded that  footage into the digital video editor, but I do not have “enough” video footage to “create” another of my cinema verite style nature documentaries. Since coming down with this cold, I really have not been going out into the “wild” areas of the Nutfield Region, to do much wildlife videography.

 

On my way home, I stopped back @ the Kelley Library to read my e-mail, and read news headlines. It is really satanic & evil, that Al Queda is now turning physically disabled, mentally retarded, and autistic adults & children into “remote-detonated” “murder bombs”, not just to slaughter unarmed civilians, but to start to “ruthlessly cleanse” Iraq of people with disabilities.

 

AL QUEDA IS A BUNCH OF SICK “ANIMALS”, NOW THAT THEY ARE “HARMING” PEOPLE WITH DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES LIKE ME!!!!!

 

And here I am, a “Christian”, and I am honest in my inner feelings about what “sick” animals are doing to the disabled over there in Iraq, “for Satan”.

 

While there @ the Kelley Library, I decided to see if that www.youtube.com video website had any video clips of that old “cult classic” 1980’s Sci-Fi cartoon, “Thundarr The Barbarian”, which was on Saturday Morning “Kid-Vid” Television, back in the early 1980’s.

 

2/27/2008 12:52 PM-

 

Washing more dirty laundry for Dad, while he and Nate are out this afternoon. I myself have to also do other chores around the house here.

 

2/27/2008 1:28 PM-

 

Finished clearing out the “mess” in the kitchen sink, that Dad & Nate “left” for me too clean up. Also, a bit earlier, I had to change my diaper for the 2nd time today, since I uncontrollably pooped into it.

 

2/27/2008 2:54 PM-

 

Did some vacuuming upstairs for Dad, that needed to get done. But there is the Parlour to get vacuumed, and I have to “wade through” Nate’s “clutter” in there. Anyway, I end-up “picking up after him”. Also had to change my diaper again, because besides being wet, my diaper was poopy “again”.

 

2/27/2008 5:22 PM-

 

2 hours ago, after Nate & Dad returned home, I had to “taxi” Nate up to Derry again, to pick up his car from the Allen Dodge Repair Shop. On my way back home, for the 2nd time today, I had to also stop and purchase “Fast-food”, because there was no time to cook anything today. Darn! Now, I am able to go over to the Kelley Library again, to read my e-mail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2/28/2008 9:44 AM-

 

Not sure where Nate went early this morning, but after I got myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day, I started washing dishes through the dishwasher machine for Dad, and I went outside to shovel more snow, that fell last night. It was vey late yesterday afternoon, when I finally was able to go to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail on one of their computers. After I arrived back home, I spent time watching a couple documentaries on DVD that I have. One was on the Permian-Triassic “Mass Extinction Event”, and the other was on Cosmology.

 

2/28/2008 12:00 PM-

 

As usual, Nate, never “tells me anything” about what is “going on”, and he is  on some legal/financial crisis, regarding Mom and her needing care in a Nursing Home. I just get so “fed-up” with Nate thinking that “I do not need to know anything, about anything @ all”, as a person with Asperger’s Syndrome/High-functioning Autism.

 

The “American Way” of “getting elderly/disabled people assistance”, is a “sucky piece of shit”. Sweden takes care of their elderly & disabled citizens “better”.

 

2/29/2008 9:06 AM-

 

Not much to do this morning. Anyway, I am cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. With nothing on the television, I am sitting here @ my computer, watching a gentle nonviolent children’s movie, “The Adventures of ELMO In Grouchland”. @ least the characters on “Sesame Street”, are better to watch, than the daytime Talk Shows & Soap Operas on “commercial” television.

 

2/29/2008 11:15 AM-

 

Had to go out in my Ute to the grocery store for Dad, plus bring home a “small” Pizza for Lunch. I find it ridiculous to be going out many times per week, and being made to “blow” some of Dad’s money on “take-out food”. Yet, yesterday evening, Nate cooked Fish Sticks, Baked Potatoes, & Carrots for Supper.

 

Anyway, I went back to watching “The Adventures of ELMO in Grouchland”.

 

2/29/2008 3:47 PM-

 

After watching that children’s movie on DVD on my computer, I “took a nap” for dome “sensory down time”. After I woke up, I watched a factual documentary on the “History International Channel” on Romania’s Communist Dictator, who got his “head blown off” in a “Coup D’Etat” before Christmas in 1989. I then had to go out to the grocery storein my Ute, because there is no Maple Syrup in the refrigerator for “Pancakes”, which is Supper today.

 

Of course, Nate got a “rejection” letter from Social Services, regarding getting “medicare” to totally pay for Mom’s Nursing Home care. Here in America, if you want to “obtain services” for the elderly or disabled, one practically has to “violently commit seppuku” with a gun, right outside the “Welfare Office”, and “spray one’s brains – all over the cement sidewalk” there “in public”, before those “Christians” in the “Welfare Office” will “assist your family”.

 

Do you really think, that I can “pay my Mom’s Nursing Home expenses” on my own “monthly” SSDI “disability cheque” of $1,300.00¢/month? $300.00¢ already goes “off the top”, for “Medicare” Tax, plus that darn Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield PPO “Medical Plan”. Next, the other day, I “paid” Nate’s Cellular Telephone “bill”, which has (2) Cellular Telephones on it, his & mine, which is in “his name”, for another ~$110.00¢, and that leaves $890.00¢ left, for “everything else”. The way I “Pay Rent” here @ home, is by “blowing my money on petrol”, and of course “food”, going on errands for my Dad in my Ute.

 

Here in America, the “Christian Way”, is for the “Elderly & Disabled” should just “die”, so that “Christians” here in America “do not have to take care of them”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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