2/29/2008 6:45 PM-
Had gone out to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. I then went over to the Best Buy Consumer Electronics Store, to look @ DVD’s of “old” television programs. I used that “cheap” $8.00¢ “fixed-focus” digital camera to take this quick snapshot of Mrs. Strang, Library Director, who is standing behind one of the library’s roll-around carts.
As far as image sharpness, this $8.00¢ digital camera is “trash”, but useful I suppose.
3/1/2008 2:48 PM-
This morning, I woke up “early”, and after I got myself cleaned up. Diapered & dressed for the day, I drove over to my church, to help out in installing “new” extra fiberglass R-30 rated insulation in the attic of the church Sanctuary. With around 12 adults, it did not take too long to get that important task done. After I returned home, Nate sent me out again, to purchase Lunch, and do a bit of grocery shopping for Dad.
After returning home again, I took a long naptime for some more “sensory down time”. While napping, I found myself having “extremely infantile”, and regressive “baby thoughts”. After waking up from my nap, I mutely laid there in my “wet” naptime diaper, hugging my soft cuddle friend, “Woggy” Froggie, and having a “simple” toddler conversation, about “good touching and bad touching”. “Hugging my soft plush friend Woggy” is “good touching”, and I “love Woggy Froggie very much”.
It was so long ago, when my Mom “bad touched” inside my diapers, that even as an “soon to be” 50 year-old developmentally disabled adult, I am “emotionally ruined for good”, as a “sexual being”.
After I got up from my naptime and changed my diaper, and got dressed again, I went outside and shoveled more snow. It had been snowing most of the day.
3/1/2008 4:22 PM-
Not much on television. So, I have decided to watch cartoon on my computer, like the “The Lone Ranger” from 1980. “Older” Saturday Morning Kid-Vid cartoons from the 1970’s & 1980’s are better than the “trash” on now.
3/1/2008 4:38 PM-
Next on my “own” Kid-Vid Cartoon schedule, is an episode of the “animated” version of “Star Trek”.
3/1/2008 5:10 PM-
Supper was a Tuna Sandwich. Next on my own “old” Kid-Vid Cartoon “schedule” this afternoon, is an episode of “Voltron: Defender of the Universe”. “Voltron” as a Japanese Anime cartoon, predates the “Might Morphin Power Rangers” by several years.
3/3/2008 8:27 AM-
Later on today, I am going to a social event for adults like myself with Asperger’s Syndrome, arranged by the Asperger’s Association of New England down in Danvers, Massachusetts.
Nate has to go out to a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, and he “left me” to take care of “overseeing” the delivery of another item he was “forced” to purchase, using Mom’s assets, per the damn Medicare Rules, to be able to keep her in the Nursing Home.
3/3/2008 1:59 PM-
Ended-up having a massive autistic temper tantrum this morning over trying to “break down” my temporary electronics test workbench, so that the so called “item” Nate had to purchase, per the damn Medicare “financial asset” rules with “Mom’s” financial assets” can be delivered.
The “trigger”, is “making changes”. We autistic adults, do not like being forced to “physically change things around”, because we “lose track of our belongings”, when physical changes are made in rooms.
Anyway, Nate “got his way”, and I took down that old picnic table I had to use in the 1st place to use to set up my own electronics test workbench.
3/4/2008 8:34 AM-
Yesterday morning I did have quite a raging “autistic temper tantrum”, related to “making changes” here in the Den room, to make room for “remodeling”. Being autistic, I hate having things “changed around”, especially when I have to do it in a rush, because I then “completely lose track” of my “belongings”. Anyway, all I did was “hyper-enrage” Nate yesterday.
3/4/2008 9:24 AM-
Just feel very sad. I always “emotionally crash” for several days after having a “major” autistic temper tantrum.
3/4/2008 9:46 AM-
This morning, Nate went to the grocery store, while I have been trying to clean the mess here in the downstairs den, because it is going to get remodeled, not sure when, but soon.
3/4/2008 2:57 PM-
Ended-up taking a very long nap, because I guess I needed it. Anyway, as I mentioned earlier this morning, I “emotionally crash” for a couple of days after having a “major” autistic temper tantrum.
3/4/2008 6:52 PM-
Just being quiet this evening. I did go out over to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. I still have to go to the Post Office tomorrow, to mail my pen pal, “Stefan” an inexpensive Birthday present. My guess, is that it will end-up “arriving late” to him.
3/5/2008 10:18 AM-
Had to go out in my Ute to purchase groceries for Dad. This afternoon, I have to meet with my social Worker/Counselor, Ms. Fisher again up in Derry.
3/5/2008 10:53 AM-
Made myself a Ham & Cheese Sandwich for Lunch.
3/5/2008 5:49 PM-
This afternoon, after meeting with my Social Worker/Counselor, Ms. Fisher up in Derry, I drove to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. On my way to Derry, I did mail the inexpensive Birthday “gift” I am sending to my autistic pen pal friend, Stefan over in Prague.
I did listen to WBUR-FM (NPR) out of Boston University, and I guess that Columbian FARC “rebels” had plans to build a “dirty” Radiation Bomb. Probably to use on us here in America.
3/6/2008 10:37 AM-
I guess that Nate is up @ the Nursing Home with Mom right now. It is her Birthday. I myself this morning got the kitchen sink cleared out of dirty dishes, and I cleaned the top of the stove, and mopped the linoleum floor in the kitchen for Dad.
3/9/2008 5:23 PM-
Have not been able to write in my journal since last Thursday morning. The Den room here @ home was being “rewired” by a “licensed” Electrician. But, tomorrow, Nate wnts me to “blow more of my own money” on “replacement” ceiling tiles for the Den, since > 50% of the “original” ceiling tiles here in the Den room had to be “ripped down” to “rewire” this room, to turn it into a “better workspace” for Nate & I to use. Anyway, even though Thursday, the “Staff” @ the Nursing Home in Derry “had a Birthday Party for my Mom”, including a Birthday Cake, I did not get one this year, since last Thursday was also my 50th Birthday.
Even though I did receive a few items of clothing for my Birthday, I feel “rather forgotten”, as far as this “Special Birthday” is concerned. I wanted an “O. Cunniculus” mamallian species pet, complete with Hutch & all the items needed to take care of it. Maybe, some other time perhaps.
The only thing of note, that I have done this weekend, was that yesterday evening @ my church, I spent 2+ hours “fursuiting” @ my church as my “alter ego”, “Sheriff George Wolf”.
Yesterday while @ the Kelley Library, I spent time, other than reading my e-mail, searching through www.youtube.com video files, for a “local” commercial television station, somewhere out in the western part of America, “Factual Lifestyle” video profile, of a 56 year-old male hominid primate who is a “Lifestyle Infantilist/Adult Baby 24/7”. It took me a while to find it, after wading (without accessing) all the damn “diaper fetish” material, which was “correctly” labeled via www.youtube.com as “NC-17”. Watching the previously broadcast “Lifestyle Profile”, sort of “confirmed” my own “insight”, that “True Psychological Infantilism” is rooted in infancy/early childhood, via some kind of abuse/sexual molestation “psychological trauma”, which “permanently” imprints itself into the psychological makeup of the abused child. The news piece profile of this 56 year-old accurately showed him “as he is”. He “cross-dresses” as if he were a 2 year-old female hominid primate, and of course is in diapers 24/7, and sleeps in an adult-sized crib, and the person actually “goes out in public”, to do his shopping errands, ect., “dressed” in his “adult sized baby clothes” – “and hugging one of his big soft dolly friends”.
The sad fact, is that the guy (somewhere out in the western part of America) “does not care” about whether “he looks like a certified nut-case”, wherever he goes around in the town he lives in.
Then again too, NBA basketball star, “Dennis Rodman”, himself, doe not “give a ____”, about his being “out in public” wearing “beautiful dresses”, like a female.
Almost
a week ago, I did access the website for the “Angel fluff Diaper Company” – www.angelfluff.com, and under their
“Adult Incontinence Products” section, were these, “Adult Disposable Diapers”,
in “Baby Prints” @ $96.00˘/case of 48 diapers.
Anyway, the only way I am going to be “put into a damn dress”, is “never”.
3/9/2008 6:23 PM-
A lot of our wounded soldiers come home from Iraq are “Brain Injured” from “cheap $10.00˘ roadside bombs”. @ least, the American “Adult Diaper Manufacturer’s” are getting plenty of “new” customers.
Anyway, pardon my cynicism…
Oh! From my own memory for arcane facts, the Asthma drug “Advair” can not be used with Lexapro, because the “drug interaction” between them in the Hominid Primate Body is “fatal”.
3/9/2008 7:30 PM-
Just being mute & quiet this evening & I am watching television in my bedroom. “”60 Minutes” is doing another news investigation about another “innocent” black man, who was “railroaded” into prison for a murder he did not commit decades ago. The criminal justice system here in America is “biased” against anyone who is “not a white man”. There are “separate” justice “systems” solely based upon “Race” here in America.
3/9/2008 7:50 PM-
Looking through my DVD collection for something to watch. PBS on WGBH-TV & WENH-TV are both in “”begging for viewer donations” mode and are not airing antthing I want to watch.
3/9/2008 8:12 PM-
Decided to watch “Part VI” of the factual documentary “Auschwitz: Inside the Nazi State”.
3/9/2008 8:29 PM-
Had taken my daily Lexapro and Lipitor Medications earlier, and I guess it is time to “change” my diaper for bedtime.
3/10/2008 8:00 AM-
Woke up this morning in an extremely cognitively “regressed” state mentally. I was only able to “internally” think in “simple” monosyllable “Baby Talk”, while lying mute and quiet in my bed, staring @ the ceiling. While lying there, my mind was only really “processing” tactile sensory input from different parts of my body. My mind was “empty’ of everything I learned from infancy. Also as I laid there in my bed, all I did was clutch one of my soft cuddle toys and I reached down beside myself with my right hand, & grasped a brightly colored set of teethers/rattles on colorful plastic rings & I put them into my mouth & I suckled & drooled all over them.
3/10/2008 9:16 AM-
Earlier, I did get up out of my bed, after my mind returned to “adult” mode, & I took my daily shower to get cleaned up, and I then diapered and dressed myself for the day. While in the shower, I found myself asking God to “protect” children from all the “evil bad touching adults”. I HATE THEM!!!!!
Anyway, I came downstairs to “throw away” the previous day and night’s pee-pee and poo-poo filled adult disposable diapers of mine. I then turned on my computer and started watching one of my DVD’s of “The World of Peter Rabbit & Friends” on my computer.
3/10/2008 9:41 AM-
I guess that Nate is finally awake, and getting himself cleaned up. After watching a couple of stories of “The World of Peter Rabbit & Friends”, I am now watching an episode of “Kimba The White Lion” on my computer.
3/10/2008 10:06 AM-
“Kimba The White Lion”, is the “Real Lion King”, not the “Disney Corporation” plagiarized “rip-off”, they stole from Japan’s “Toei Studios, Inc.”.
3/10/2008 10:19 AM-
Nate has gone to the grocery store for Dad, and I guess that later this afternoon, I have to go to the bank, and take out “more of my money”, to go over to the Home Depot Warehouse Lumber/Hardware Store, to purchase 3 more 40-count boxes of 12” x 12” ceiling tiles, to “replace” the ceiling tiles, which had to be “torn down” to “rewire” the Den room here. @ almost $70.00˘/40-Count Box, that comes to $210.00˘. @ least this week I will have to put my monthly SSDI cheque into the bank, to “make up for this expense”. Of course, the wiring “upgrade”, was paid for, because Nate had to “spend down” more of Dad’s financial assets. @ least Nate was told by the lawyers last week, not to “give the Nursing Home any more money”, otherwise, “Medicare” will just “drag out the process of paying for my Mom’s medical care for years”, just to “utterly destroy our family financially” – and put us out “onto the street”.
Anyway to replace all the ceiling tiles here in thee Den room, it will require 225 tiles @ least, which is 225 square feet of material. That, is 5.625 boxes worth of “ceiling tiles”. Roughly!
3/10/2008 11:47 AM-
Had watched an episode of “Kung Fu” (The Original Series) starring actor David Carradine on my computer.
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3/10/2008 5:04 PM-
Had just ate Supper. Meatloaf, with Potatoes & Carrots. Earlier, I did spend time @ the Kelley Library, reading my e-mail, & online, I tried doing more research on “Psychological Infantilism”, resulting in my finding a “reference” to a photojournalism book, by famous Australian “Celebrity” Portrait Photographer, “Polly Borland”. The title is, “The Babies”, with a “Forward” by “Feminist” Icon, “Susan Sontag”.
Unfortunately, the “Publisher’s” Web Page was completely unhelpful to me in any kind of understanding of the condition of Psychological Infantilism, where an adult like myself who was neglected & abused from infancy, “regresses”, and wants to “live as a helpless baby” again, in adulthood, and who is timorous and frightened of ever being bad or hurting anyone.
Being a “survivor” of early childhood neglect & sexual abuse, I find myself “wishing” I could be “permanently” restrained and confined in an adult-sized crib and “treated like an infant” – “forever”. But of course, that is not “practical”, given, that even though I am autistic, and very much “infantile & child-like” anyway, I have adult things to do, like house chores, plus running errands for Dad in my Ute, and doing things for my church and for Derry, NH’s in-town CATV public-access channel, ect.
3/10/2008 6:50 PM-
Experiencing a lot of lower intestinal gas this evening. Anyway, I have “missed” watching most of the evening National/International News on WBZ-TV, Channel 4 (CBS).
3/10/2008 7:16 PM-
Instead of watching the “trash” Tabloid News crap on television, I have decided to watch an episode of the old action series, “COMBAT!” starring “Vic Morrow” on my computer.
3/10/2008 9:05 PM-
Just staying up later to watch another DVD on my television in my bedroom. I am “happier” alone by myself. Earlier, I do not know what I did, but but all I did was get Dad upset @ me. I guess that I am “always getting in the way”. The only emotion I can read in other people with any accuracy as an autistic person, is “Anger”. As an autistic person, I am “utterly mind-blind” to the emotions of others. Of course, when I do “react”, I experience feeling of “What the Hell did I do wrong”, in a rigid unvarying pattern, that “never changes”.
3/10/2008 9:24 PM-
I may be physically alone, but I do not feel lonely. I have my soft plush cuddle toys to hug for companionship.
3/11/2008 8:40 AM-
Woke up late @ 8:09 AM & I got myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. I myself am being mute and quiet, sitting here on my bed in my room. Downstairs, the Electrician has returned to “install” a new “garage door opener” for Dad. Anyway, Dad is sleeping in his bedroom. The way it is, is that he needs to rest, because he was up half the night from “phantom” amputation pain in his left leg, and pain in his right leg, which is occurring 24/7 now, causing him to not sleep much @ night, despite being on medications for pain.
3/11/2008 9:00 AM-
Have spent the last 20 minutes playing quietly with one of my infant’s “activity cubes”.
3/11/2008 9:17 AM-
Playing quietly with my Fisher-Price “Nesting Vehicles” infant toy. I am staying here in my bedroom to be “out of people’s way”.
3/11/2008 9:24 AM-
One aspect of “play” that is missing for an autistic person like myself, is “imagination”. While playing here with my “Nesting Vehicles” toy, I am utterly unable to “make-up” a “pretend” story scenario using them as “props”. All I can do is either “line them up in a row” or mutely drive them across the surface of my bed sheet in different directions.
3/11/2008 1:14 PM-
Had to go out in my Ute this morning, 1st to the Bank (for myself), then to the grocery store, and then to the “Papa Cholesterol” Pizza Joint for a “small” Pizza for Lunch for Dad, Nate & I. Nate had to take Dad up to another doctor’s appointment 45 minutes ago. When they return, I will then be able to go out in my Ute again.
3/11/2008 1:44 PM-
Made sure all the dirty dishes, ect. were cleared out of the Kitchen sink.
3/12/2008 10:08 AM-
Spending time @ my computer doing a bit of CAD design.
3/12/2008 11:11 AM-
Had been quiet all morning, also listening to the audio track of an episode of “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea” and an episode of “Mission: Impossible”, while drawing circuits on my computer.
3/13/2008 8:57 AM-
A short time ago, I got myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. Not sure what Nate & Dad’s “schedule” is today.
3/13/2008 10:07 AM-
I guess that Nate went out on errands.
3/13/2008 10:42 AM-
Time to check on Dad upstairs. It is time for him to eat and take his Insulin injection.
3/13/2008 11:30 AM-
I did make myself Lunch a short time ago. I have of course, been watching the “original” 1st Episode of that old “Cop Show”, “Hawaii Five-0”, starring Actor Jack Lord.
3/13/2008 2:50 PM-
After Lunch I ended up “regressing” into an infantile mental state. For 2 ½ hours, I did not nap, but mutely “stayed awake”, lying on my back in just one of my adult incontinence diapers, and one of my vinyl plastic “crumb-catcher” bibs, which had “Blue The Puppy” from that gentle nonviolent children’s television program, “Blues Clues/Blue’s Room” on the Nickelodeon Channel. While lying there in my bed, I mutely suckled my pacifier and hugged my soft “lovey friend”, “Grr-Grr” Bear. While lying there in my bed for 2 ½ hours, awake and resting, unable to lift my own head off of my pillow, I did not even “daydream” or “imagine’ anything @ all. My mind was totally withdrawn into my own body, and the only sensory processing I was doing, was sensing the tactile sensations of “Grr-Grr” Bear, and my vinyl bib, and my pacifier. For part of the time I was lying there in my bed, I was only made simple soft “cooing” sounds or uncontrollably “drooling” down my cheeks, and for around I an guessing, 45 minutes, I had my “Moo-Moo Cow” Baby “Peek-A-Boo” Mirror in my “free hand”, with it “close to my face”. While looking into “Moo-Moo Cow” Mirror, my mind was empty of thoughts, and I actually “did not recognize” “my own reflection” in my Baby Mirror. Occasionally I turned my Baby Mirror around in my hand, and looked to see who that “other person was “on the “other side” of my Baby Mirror. The only other tactile sensations I experienced, were inside my adult incontinence diaper, that my “empty” regressed cognitive state “could not recognize”. @ around 2:30PM, I “snapped out of” my “infantile regressed state”, feeling “calm and happy” internally, and relieved of “accumulated” autistic cognitive/sensory “overload” stress.
3/13/2008 3:13 PM-
Nate just telephoned me, to ask me to go out in my Ute to the grocery store for a couple of items needed to make Supper for the 3 of us men @ home.
3/13/2008 3:46 PM-
Got that errand done, and Nate is still not home yet. He is supposed to be picking up a special “oral” radiological contrast medium prescription for Dad up in Derry, before he has to be taken by Nate tomorrow morning for a CT scan of his digestive system. He told me he would be here @ home in 20 minutes.
3/13/2008 6:56 PM-
Just arrived back home from spending time @ the Kelley Library, and then “looking” @ ideas for “crafts” @ the “Michael’s Arts & Crafts Store” down near Kelley Road on NH Route 28 here in Salem.
As an autistic adult, I “have no imagination”.
3/14/2008 12:13 PM-
Just alone by myself, while Nate took Dad up for a CT Scan of his digestive system. Not sure when they will return home. I myself cleaned out the kitchen sink for Dad, and I retrieved the mail for him too.
3/14/2008 12:32 PM-
Had been watching “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” on my computer. There is 1 5th Season episode where a 14 year-old killed his little brother, because the little brother “tattled” about his “big brother” “wetting his bed”, and another sub-plot of a Serial Killer “on the loose”L
3/14/2008 6:23 PM-
Had arrived back home, after spending time @ the library, and then going over to Walmart to purchase razor blades to shave.
There was an article in today’s Manchester Union Leader, about how most all “new” consumer computer products coming out of Communist China are “infected” with security breach type computer viruses, that destroy data, steal passwords, and transmit that information back to China, ect. Many of these “Trojan Horse” computer virus software also attacks and destroys “Anti-Computer Virus Software”.
3/14/2008 6:34 PM-
In the news, a “major” Investment Bank has “Filed for Bankruptcy”. Plus, there is “Anti-Chinese Rioting” in Lhasa, Tibet, and the Chinese Red Army is getting ready to “crush” the “rebellion”, by “slaughtering” all the Buddhist “Monks” who started this latest “Protest Rebellion”, 4 days ago.
3/14/2008 6:58 PM-
Had been “pulling” “old fastener staples” out of the ceiling grid, where the “removed” old ceiling tiles were located. I did put one of my “Star Trek” DVD’s into E:/ Drive. Time to watch Captain Picard versus the “Borg”.
3/15/2008 4:32 PM-
Had stayed away from home most of today, while the main electrical distribution here @ home was “upgraded” by the Electrician. I needed more “peace & quiet”, which I got @ the Kelley Library and @ the Barnes & Noble Bookstore up on South Willow Street (NH Route 28) in Manchester. Nate of course had me go out twice in my Ute to purchase “Kill-Esterol” Fast Food for Lunch & Supper. Anyway, because of the electrical work being done, Nate could not do any cooking today.
3/15/2008 5:38 PM-
A few minutes ago, before I had to go upstairs to change my diaper for the 3rd time today, Nate “complained” about the audio volume on my computer’s sound system, while I was watching another episode of the old television show, “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea”. Anyway, @ this time of day, there is really nothing on television worth watching, which is why I watched a DVD on my computer. I did retrieve my headphone unit from my bedroom, and brought it downstairs here, so that I can watch the evening news on Nate’s old Zenith Brand television @ 6:00 PM.
3/16/2008 3:54 PM-
Today was Palm Sunday @ church. The small Sony camcorder for camera position #1 had failed, and myself, and Don Hornbeck only had a “single” camera shoot this morning for the “live” Palm Sunday broadcast.
After church, when I arrived back home, Sunday Dinner was Turkey Pie, Baked Potatoes, and Butternut Squash. I did remain awake for a while after Sunday Dinner, while the Electrician was here, “finishing up” what he had to do. I then took a nap for some “sensory down time”. Nate of course, had gone up to Derry to visit Mom. He of course had me go out in my Ute for Sub Sandwiches for Supper.
3/16/2008 4:23 PM-
Had decided to watch another episode of the “original’ “Mission: Impossible” on my computer here in the Den. The “IMF Team” uses “Guile & Trickery”, rather than “brute force”, to accomplish their “espionage missions”. The “original” series of this old television show, is far better than the “movie remakes”, starring “arrogant, egotistical” Actor, “Tom Cruise”.
3/16/2008 7:48 PM-
Nate just arrived back home from having to go up to the Nursing Home in Derry. Mom went into “irreversible cardiac arrest”, and she “passed-away” just over an hour ago.
3/16/2008 8:50 PM-
It is difficult for me to “express” appropriate feelings as an autistic developmentally-disabled adult, and here it is, my “Own Mom” has “passed away”, and went to Heaven. Despite the bad things she did to me as a small boy, “she is forgiven”. I guess that it is only right, that despite her very human flaws, she, in her “own way”, “really did love me as a person”.
3/17/2008 10:37 AM-
Just made sure that Dad was “up”, and getting himself Lunch, and then taking his Insulin injection.
3/17/2008 11:45 AM-
Just because my Mom “passed away” yesterday evening, does not mean, that I can “get out of” doing house chores. I put all the clean dishes away out of the dishwasher machine for Dad.
3/17/2008 6:55 PM-
Just trying to be very quiet this evening. Nate and I talked a bit earlier, and I agree, that he would be better @ “delivering the Eulogy”, and I will just be doing the “greeting” of the family “mourners” who will come to the Memorial Service, which will be done by my Pastor, Reverend Ferguson.
3/18/2008 8:46 AM-
Had just gotten myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day, andmade myself Breakfast of microwaving 2 slices of “Instant French Toast”, my exact usual daily breakfast. Right now, Nate is upstairs, getting cleaned up and dressed for the day. I myself am not sure what Nate has “planned”, since he is making all the “Memorial Service Arrangements” since Mom “passed away” Palm Sunday Evening.
3/18/2008 8:55 AM-
Just tried to telephone one of Dad’s cousins down in Wilmington, Massachusetts. All I got was her “Telephone Answering Machine”.
3/18/2008 6:50 PM-
The Memorial Service for my Mom has been arranged and will be coming up. I still am in “Autistic Stoicism” mode, not deliberately, but having “flat emotional affect”, is “normal” for an autistic developmentally disabled adult like myself. I should be “weeping” @ the “loss” of the person who “gave me life”, but I can not seem to “activate” the “appropriate” grief “scenario”.
3/19/2008 10:17 AM-
After getting cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the Dad, Nate had me go out for Dad in my Ute over to the Rite-Aid Pharmacy, to drop-off prescriptions for Dad, that need to be “refilled”, and I then drove over to the grocery store, and purchased groceries for Dad, to have something for Lunch & Supper today. This afternoon, Nate has to take Dad up to a doctor’s appointment, to see the Vascular Surgeon, Dr. Furey.
3/19/2008 10:25 AM-
One “aspect” of losing a parent, is that it will be difficult “Saying Good By” to my Mom. I have a lot of “mixed” memories of her, both good & bad. I myself thing\k that a “lot of what she did” when I was little, was to try and “shield me from the outside world”. As a person, my Mom was “familiar” to me, yet “unfamiliar”, in that she seemed to “be different people” @ “different times”, and the “changes” in her “personality” were utterly incomprehensible and unpredictable to me. Around my own Mom, I “never knew how to socially act”, because as an autistic developmentally disabled person, I can not read & interpret facial expressions, and I am “mind-blind” to the feelings and emotions of others.
3/19/2008 12:10 PM-
I am glad my little brother Nate has been taking care of the Funeral arrangements for our Mom. As it is, in my own way, I am a bit “cognitively overloaded”, just “maintaining” my own Autistic Stoicism, to help emotionally “hold things together”, for the family @ this “difficult time”.
I can not “reflect” very well, about my own experiences with Mom, but I can say, that she “had a difficult life”. There were times, when “she was all together” cognitively & emotionally for me, and other times, over the past decades, when she was “elsewhere” cognitively & emotionally. It will take time to “sort-out” a lot of my “memories & feelings” about Mom from now on.
3/19/2008 1:01 PM-
While Nate has taken Dad up to his appointment with Vascular Surgeon, Dr. Furey, I am washing more dirty laundry for Dad. Anyway, just because Mom passed away, sure does not mean, that I can “get out of” doing house chores.
3/19/2008 3:16 PM-
Running more dirty laundry through the washing machine for Dad. Nate & Dad have still not returned home. I did of course, vacuum down the stairs to the Den room here for Dad. I next have to vacuum the Bathroom & bedroom hallway for him.
3/19/2008 7:01 PM-
Had just been over @ the Kelley Library to read my e-mail, and to retrieve information for Nate to contact a couple more of Mom’s relatives, her Aunt In Wilmington, MA, and my Mom’s Niece in Royalston, MA.
3/20/2008 8:01 AM-
Woke up earlier than normal, to get cleaned up, diapered and dressed for the day. I then had breakfast, and I then cleared the kitchen sink of dirty dishes, and I took the trash downstairs to the garage, including my “dirty” disposable diapers from yesterday, like I always do. This morning is my Mom’s Memorial Service, and afterwards, the burial of Mom’s “ashes” in our Family Burial Plot in North Reading, Massachusetts.
3/20/2008 8:12 AM-
I can hear Nate upstairs. He was asleep a short time ago. He has to get cleaned up and dressed and have Breakfast, and he has to get Dad awake and to get dressed to get ready to be @ this morning’s Memorial Worship Service for my Mom.
3/21/2008 11:21 AM-
Yesterday we had the Memorial Service @ the Chapel in the Goundry Funeral Home, then Dad, Nate, & I were taken down to the Cemetery down in North Reading, Massachusetts, to bury Moms ashes with Grandpa Ernie, and my baby brother David, who passed away in infancy 47 years ago. Yesterday was cloudy, windy, and cold, as far as the weather.
Yesterday evening, I did record my church’s Maunday Thursday Tenebre Worship Service on DVD, that I will bring up to Derry community Television, to get it “on the air” this evening.
This morning of course, I had to take the household trash/recyclables to the Refuse Collection Center on Shannon Road for Dad. It took 2 trips in my Ute to “haul away” a pile of junk wood, and all the trash/recyclables. I then went to my Bank to withdraw $100.00¢, and today, 40% of it will be spent, purchasing Petrol for my Ute.
When I returned home, I had Lunch with Dad. It was of course, Hot Dogs & Potato Salad. Nate of course, has gone out to the Bank, to withdraw funds from Dad’s account, to pay for groceries, ect.
3/21/2008 1:30 PM-
I find myself “hyper-enraged” @ my little brother, Nate, because he “never told me shit”, about “what his afternoon schedule of errands, ect., was”. As it is, when it comes to my little brother telling me anything, I, am “always the last person to know” about “what is going on”. He never told me about “another medical appointment” he had @ 2:00 PM this afternoon, plus his “running around”, on “stuff of his own”.
I told him 2 days ago, that I had to be @ the Derry Community Television Studio this afternoon. Well, I will have to “blow off” my needed time @ the Derry Town CATV Studio this afternoon.
We autistic persons require “exact sameness and predictability”, or we just start “emotionally “flipping out into toddler-like temper tantrums”, when our “neurotypical” normal family members up and “make changes”, “suddenly”, “without any warning” as to “what and why” “with no explanations”.
3/21/2008 2:08 PM-
Anyway, I have been “hyper-enraged” and in “Autistic Temper-Tantrum Mode” for the past hour.
3/21/2008 2:45 PM-
Still feeling emotionally enraged and in “Autistic Temper Tantrum Mode”. Anyway, I got the kitchen sink cleared of dirty dishes, ect., plus I cleaned up the top of the stove for Dad.
Nate does want me to “cook Supper”, because he “will not be around to do that”, like he usually does.
3/21/2008 2:55 PM-
I find myself “thinking out loud”, the same “emotionally” “hyper-abusive” things Mom “directly yelled @ me” as a child lots of times, and they are “directed” @ Nate, my little brother, and “he is not here to listen to them”.
Also, I get so “fed-up” with “picking up after him”.
3/22/2008 8:46 AM-
Yesterday, I also had no “patience” with a “young adult” “Internet Addict”, over @ the Kelley Library, who has nothing better to do, than “look for Suzie Rotten Crotch’s to (pardon my use of a bad word) fuck”. I ended up having an autistic temper tantrum, when the little twerp, would not let me onto the computer I “legitimately” “signed up for” @ the Front Circulation Desk @ the library. Well, I ended-up just storming out for a while, and returned to the library, later, to use one of their “limited access” Internet-connected computers, to send “Stefan” over in Prague, the latest “update to the Blog Section of my Asperger’s Web Page.
Also, yesterday evening, the Furnace Repairman arrived to try and fix the hot water supply tank, next to the furnace, but it will need to be replaced.
3/22/2008 9:16 AM-
Had decided to watch animated cartoons on my computer. Watching an episode of the “Zorro” cartoon of the early 1980’s.
3/22/2008 5:35 PM-
Nate went to the grocery store this morning for Dad. I myself did some “cleaning up” in the kitchen for Dad this morning, while Nate was out. After Lunch, I “took a long nap”.
As for the hot water supply tank, it is “functional”. This morning, I sis have warm water to take a shower, to “wash the stinky pee-pee off my body”, after waking up as usual, in a “flooded night diaper”.
After my nap time, I was a “very bad” “Adult Baby”, and as I laid there in my bed for a while longer, I “made ‘white-colored’ pee-pee into my diaper”. My mind was not thinking about anything, and was “blank”, when I made white-colored pee-pee. Unlike a “neurotypical” normal adult “male” Hominid Primate, an autistic person like myself, who lacks “imagination”, is unable to “create” “mental images” related to the physiological function of making white-colored pee-pee. All it was to me, was “physiologically comforting myself”, to “feel good inside”.
After getting up out of my bed, after my naptime, I changed my diaper, and got dressed and went out in my Ute over to the Kelley Library to read and answer e-mail messages from my contacts in the Asperger’s Syndrome/Autism Disability Community. Yesterday, received a “new” Asperger’s Syndrome/Autism “contact”, “Francisco” down in Santiago, Chile who wrote to me in “English”, introducing himself.
An interesting observation of myself, is that I get “most” of my news of the outside world, either via the Internet, or via NPR (National Public Radio), rather than the television lately. NPR is “less politically biased”, than the “commercial” television networks.
3/22/2008 6:19 PM-
My pelvic floor muscles “spasm’d”, and besides pee-pee, I mad a small quantity of poo-poo into my diaper. Finished emptying myself into the potty chair upstairs, and then “changed” my wet & poopy adult sized diaper.
3/22/2008 6:29 PM-
Watching the evening National/International News. There is a massive amount of river flooding out in the Mississippi River “system” in the central part of my country. This year, the Mississippi river system flooding is the “worst” in decades, due to “excessive” early Spring rainfall, and record Winter snowfall, that has still to “melt”, in the next couple of months from the upper tributaries of the Mississippi River, Ohio River, Tennessee River, Missouri river and the North & South Platte Rivers.
3/22/2008 6:38 PM-
Presidential “candidate” Senator John McCain “screwed up”, “confusing” the “difference” between Sunni & Shia Islam. This is a “major” blunder. Sunnis & Shia’s have been in conflict with each other, since the death of the Prophet Mohamed (Peace Be Upon Him). As a “Congregationalist” Protestant Christian, I understand the difference between the 2 “major” branches of Islam.
One wonders about the intellectual knowledge the “candidates” for Persident of the United States have. Professor George Freimarck told us, that “Political” Leaders have “no excuse whatsoever for ‘ignorance’ of foreign Affairs”, including “knowledge” of “other cultures”.
3/22/2008 7:30 PM-
Had been watching another episode of the “animated” version of Star Trek on my computer here in the Den room.
Here is “Scotty” in “Main Engineering” on the Starship Enterprise.
And of course, Captain Kirk, 1st Officer Spock, & Chief Medical Officer, Dr. McCoy.
And Ensign Pavel Chekov’s “replacement, Navigator Lt. Arex, the Edoan on the “Bridge”.
Although this animated cartoon is now 35 years old, it is “better made”, than the “trash” animated cartoons on television now.
3/23/2008 4:19 PM-
Today, is of course, Easter, & I went out to first get Milk & the Sunday Edition of the Boston Globe Newspaper for Dad, before going to church. After Church, I stopped @ the Walgreen’s Pharmacy @ the corner of the Veteran’s Memorial Parkway & NH Route 28 to purchase the Sunday Edition of the Union Leader Newspaper for Dad.
After Sunday Dinner, I took a nap. While napping, I hugged “Woggy”, my big plush green Froggie friend for cognitive/emotional comfort.
3/23/2008 4:53 PM-
Another “old” animated cartoon I have in my collection on DVD, is “Return to the Planet of the Apes”. There were only 13 episodes of this cartoon ever produced, dating from 1975.
3/23/2008 5:28 PM-
Watching “old” cartoons I watched as a child, is something I enjoy. The previous 2 digital photos I took of my computer screen are of the “original” Superhero, “Birdman” and his blue Super-Eagle, “Avenger”. Of course, a lot of the stuff the old Superhero, “Birdman” did to “enemies”, would not be “acceptable”, on television nowadays.
3/24/2008 9:09 AM-
Not even sure what Nate (& Dad) have planned for today. Anyway, I have to start “cleaning up” more down here in the Den room.
3/24/2008 9:28 AM-
Dust used an old “bulk” laundry detergent bucket to “store” misc. cables & AC line cords here in the Den.
3/24/2008 9:44 AM-
No matter “how much” time I spend, trying to “pick up stuff” down here in the Den room, Nate just “piles more stuff downstairs here into this room from upstairs”. Anyway, I figure, that this room will, “never be picked up enough” and “clean”, to use as an office/work area, and place to “entertain guests”.
3/24/2008 10:05 AM-
I guess that Nate is on the telephone with the CATV “provider”, “Comcast”, regarding being able to “transfer” the account (and CATV “Descrambler” Hardware), that was paid for by Nate for Mom, when she was in the Nursing Home, over to Dad’s account, so that Nate can “connect it up” in Dad’s bedroom, with Mom’s small HDTV television, so that Dad can “use it”.
Anyway, I was just upstairs, to make poo-poo into the potty chair.
3/24/2008 1:19 PM-
Woke up from a nap, and I have to go to the Bank, to transfer funds into my chequeing account, to pay another medical bill of mine, and then mail letters for Nate @ the Post Office, before going to the Kelley Library to read and answer my e-mail.
3/24/2008 2:54 PM-
The “only” available computer @ the Kelley Library, was having “Web Server Connection Problems”, and I was unable to access my e-mail accounts there @ the library. I will try later, after Supper. Of course, there was there, the “Young Adult Net Addict” there, who has nothing better to do with his time all day, than use the Internet, to “search for a Susie Rotten Crotch Bitch to ____”. Communicating with my contacts in the Asperger’s Syndrome/Autism Disability Community, and the “few” “Fursuiter Performers” I have been in contact with recently, is a “better use” of one of the Internet-Connected Computers there @ the Kelley Library.
3/25/2008 8:51 AM-
As usual, I am cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. I am not sure what Nate has “planned”, but I myself have to be @ the Derry Community Television Studio by 3:00 PM, to help prepare to videotape a “children’s” television program @ 4:00 PM in the Studio.
3/25/2008 11:31 AM-
Earlier, Nate had me go out in my Ute to the Post Office, and then to the Wendy’s Fast –food Joint, to purchase 3 Salads, 1 Baked Potato, and 2 Fish Sandwiches for Lunch, to “split” between the 3 of us men @ home. Nate has just gone out in Dad’s 2008 dodge Caliber to do some grocery shopping for him. @ the post office, I mailed a snail-mail letter to “Dima” over in Minsk, Belarus, an “old” contact, whom I had not heard anything from for the past 38 months, since “Premier Lukasheneko’s Crackdown” in 2005, until Holy Week last week via e-mail. It took me a while to find his old “snail-mail” address. I consider it to be a “miracle”, that I heard from him, on the day before Palm Sunday, when my Mom passed away.
3/25/2008 11:38 AM-
I finally found where I “left” my DVD box Set of the entire “original” “Sonic The Hedgehog” Cartoon. It was in the Parlour next to our iron wood-burning stove, which we thankfully did not have to use for “emergency backup” heating this past Winter.
3/26/2008 11:30 AM-
This morning, I hauled 2 loads of “scrap” vinyl siding to the Refuse Collection Center on Shannon road for Dad.
Last night I had a dream, of my Mommy telling me to “always stay diapered”, and to only play “nicely with my toys”, and she told me to only read my books on Science & History, and all my “children’s picture story books”, and watch my DVD’s. Mommy also told me, that the only places she will allow me to go to in my Ute, are the Refuse collection Center on Shannon Road, the Shaw’s Supermarket, the Walgreen’s Pharmacy to purchase “disposable diapers”, and to the Rite Aid Pharmacy next to the Post Office, for my prescriptions I have to take every day.
Mommy also told me in my dream, not to ever go to the “evil bad place” behind the “Super” Petrol Station on NH Route 28 here in town, or the “evil bad place” 1000’ north of Cyr Lumber & Building Supply on NH Route 28 in Windham.
Mommy did tell me in my dream, that another place she will only allow me to go to is the Kelley Library. There @ the Kelley Library, Mommy will only “allow” “from now on”, that I only access the following Web Pages:
www.yahoo.com (just my mail, and the “few” groups I subscribe to, Asperger’s Adults, Fursuiters, New England Fursuiters, GayBase Alpha – SPACE:1999 Fandom)
Mommy also told me to always help Daddy and little brother Nate.
Mommy told me in last night’s dream, that I may go to the FYE Video Store in the Mall @ Rockingham Park, and she told me in my dream, that I am only allowed to purchase “old” cartoons and television programs to watch on my computer in the Den or in my bedroom here @ home. She also told me, that the only other DVD’s she will allow me to watch are documentaries on History and Science.
3/26/2008 11:56 AM-
Earlier a short time ago, I “changed” my diaper in my bedroom, and it is a little bit wet again…
3/26/2008 3:53 PM-
I had gone out in my Ute earlier to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. Sent some “advice” to my autistic contact out in the Midwest, regarding “adult-sized diapers” in “bariatric” size.
I then went to the Barnes & Noble bookstore across town here in Salem, and only purchased another “simple” children’s picture book to read. After all, “Big Brother” is “checking” what Americans are purchasing to read (besides what they read @ the library). A “picture book” about an “Ewweepant Fwend” should not be “subversive”, in the eyes of “Big Brother”.
After that, I drove over to the Mall @ Rockingham Park, and I videotaped “Pigeon Behavior” with my Hi8 Camcorder, before going inside to the FYE Video Store there. I ended up getting myself, the Box Set of the “final” episodes of “XENA: Warrior Princess”. Well, it is simply a “live action” Comic Book, nothing more…
I then came home, to start washing dirty laundry for Dad.
3/26/2008 6:25 PM-
I have been working on for the last hour, on creating my own “Space Warfare” Science Fiction Movie, out of *.mpg video clips from Dr. Who, Battlestar Galactica, and other Sci-Fi Movies and television shows. Now it is time for me to watch the evening National/International News on WHDH-TV, Channel 7 out of Boston, Massachusetts.
3/26/2008 6:56 PM-
I had to re-format the memory card in my digital camera, to “purge” it of photographs & *.mpg video, to use it to record more video clips of old Sci-Fi shows/movies, for my own “creative” “Space Warfare Movie” in “low-resolution”.
Well, I really did not listen much to the evening national/international news.
3/27/2008 9:28 AM-
Yesterday, the town Electrical Inspector was to come and inspect the new Main Junction Box, but he will probably show up today. Nate is out grocery shopping for Dad, and probably doing a couple of his own errands. I myself am watching an episode of “Thunderbirds” on my computer.
3/27/2008 9:53 AM-
One thing that is interesting, is that in the old “Kid-Vid” Sci-Fi television show, “Thunderbirds”, the 5,000 MPH (Hypersonic) “Heavy Transport” aircraft, “Thunderbird #2”, uses a “Forward-Swept” main wing design for “high-speed flight”, the same as NASA’s now obsolete X-29 experimental aircraft.
Well, one thing I just did, while watching “Thunderbirds” here on my computer, was check my e-mail via my cellular telephone. My pen pal friend, Stefan over in Prague, is having his elderly Mom over from his home country of Sweden. I also received another e-mail from my Asperger’s contact in the Midwest, and later, I will e-mail him back with more advice regarding an “issue” he is dealing with right now.
3/27/2008 11:30 AM-
The CATV Installer/Repairman is here to do some “swapping” of CATV Descrambler Boxes. Mom’s HDTV, is being set up in the Parlour with the new “digital” Descrambler Box, and the “old” box from the Parlour, is getting set up in Dad’s bedroom.
3/27/2008 12:07 PM-
I just watched an episode of that very old cartoon, “Speed Racer” on my computer. Even after decades, “Speed Racer” is still a pretty good cartoon to watch.
3/27/2008 3:16 PM-
I had to take another long nap for “sensory down time”. After Supper is when I will go out in my Ute over to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail.
3/28/2008 12:04 PM-
As usual, Nate did not tell me about what his “schedule” is, and I had to “guess it”. I guess he had a doctor’s appointment this morning. I had thought he was only going “across town”, to the Shaw’s Supermarket to do grocery shopping for Dad.
Outside, it has been “snowing” again…The Weather Report states, that this storm will be 3” to 6” of snow. Yesterday of course, there was “almost no snow on the ground”.
Anyway, I myself have been washing dirty laundry for Dad. I also made sure that Dad ate Lunch and took his Insulin Injection afterwards.
3/28/2008 12:22 PM-
I will have to go outside and shovel snow.
3/29/2008 9:37 AM-
Something is happening to Dad’s memory. He was “extremely mentally confused” this morning. He was also emotionally agitated. Not good. Anyway, I spent time going out in my Ute over to the Refuse Collection Center on Shannon road to take away the rest of this week’s household trash/recyclables for Dad.
Nate and I are the “Men of this house now”…
3/29/2008 11:00 AM-
Arrived back home a few minutes ago, from going grocery shopping for Dad, and purchasing a small Pizza for Lunch for the 3 of us from “Papa Cholesterol” over @ the Rockingham Shopping Plaza.
One issue I can not fix, is that Dad is extremely depressed, after Mom’s passing away just about 2 weeks ago.
3/29/2008 6:17 PM-
This afternoon, I took a nap for “sensory down time”, and afterwards, I went to the Post Office to mail a letter for Nate, and then I went to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. AS usual, I replied to my Asperger’s Syndrome contact out in the Midwest, and I responded to a an e-mail, from a “professional” Fursuiter contact out in California, telling him about my Mom passing away.
Since I knew we were having Pancakes for Supper, for “extra” protein, after spending time @ the library, I drove over to Klemm’s Corner in Windham to the McCholesterol/Truck Rest Stop/Petrol Station for some “Chicken McNuggets” and a Diet Coke soda pop. I then drove to the Walgreens @ the corner of the Veteran’s Memorial Parkway & NH Route 28, to “purchase ahead”, another 28-count package of XL “Adult Diapers” for my “total urinary incontinence”, before returning home.
After Supper, I started the dishwasher machine in the kitchen for Dad, after putting the dirty dishes from Supper into it. Once that was done, I went into my bedroom, and I watched an episode of “SPACE:1999” on my 27” “analog” television, which used to be Dad’s in the Parlour, before Nate had my “late” Mom’s HDTV set up in the Parlour. I still have to connect & set up my old “analog” “mono” NTSC SMPTE, Type E, UMATIC 16mm VCR.
3/29/2008 6:33 PM-
Just watching the evening national/international news, and I am not surprised, that “decades” of Republican Party” “de-regulation” of the financial and banking systems in America, has allowed “super” White-Collar “Tycoons”, to “loot the American people” of their assets, “worked for”, by “real work”, not smooth-talking “flim-flam” artists with “worthless” promissory note schemes on Wall Street.
If the “rich” want “Class Warfare”, they are “going to get it”, one of these days…
3/29/2008 6:41 PM-
The “Puppet Regime” “King George W. Bush” placed in Iraq, is having a “Hell of a time”, trying to “win” against Shiite Ayatollah Al Sadr and his “followers” in Basra. “King Bush’s” “Puppet Regime” really has no real “legitimacy” among most of the entire country of Iraq.
3/29/2008 6:49 PM-
There was just a news story of “Retail Giant”, “Walmart” “SCrewing Over” a guy who’s wife worked for Walmart, who got into an automobile accident years ago while on her way to work. “Walmart” is “unjustly stealing” the “lawsuit settlement” the woman’s Husband “won” against the trucking company, who’s driver “ran over his wife’s minivan”, and left her “disabled” and in a “nursing home”, for the rest of her life. Besides, that couple’s “son”, got “blown up for nothing” over in Iraq, and “did his duty”, while “REMF’s” like Walmart have been “Screwing His Parents Over”, just for “financial greed”…
3/30/2008 7:41 AM-
Washing my bed sheets, because I made lots of pee-pee into them, despite being heavily diapered all last night.
I find myself feeling a bit depressed. Nate a couple of days ago gave me another “reproduction” antique tractor metal sign for my collection of them. He found it @ the Dollar Bill’s discount Store in Derry Friday morning.
He should not have done thatL…Yet he knows I like to collect stuff about farm tractors & machinery.
3/30/2008 4:28 PM-
Had watched a “factual” “blood & guts” documentary on the “Discovery Health Channel” about the surgical removal of a 200lb benign tumor from a female hominid primate. I then had to go out in my Ute over to the McCholesterol next to the Target Department Store across town here to purchase Supper for Dad, Nate, & I.
3/30/2008 5:58 PM-
Just finished watching an old episode of the cop Show, “Hawaii Five-O” on my DVD player in my bedroom. Of course on television, the cops “always win” against the crooks and murderers, ect. In “real life”, in all the “minority communities” in every major city in America, the “real cops”, only solve 1% of all Homicides. 99% of the time, the “homicidal thugs”, terrorizing “minority communities” “get away with their evil deeds”.
There is a “big difference” between “television fantasy” and “real life”, when it comes to “violent crime” in any one of Americas “major” cities.
3/31/2008 9:15 AM-
Just being mute & quiet this morning. After getting cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day, I read more of Physicist Brian Greene’s “The Elegant Universe”, before coming downstairs here, to watch an episode of that old WWII Action television show, “COMBAT!” on my computer. Nate has gone out, I guess to do some grocery shopping for Dad.
3/31/2008 11:16 AM-
Had a Hot Dog & Potato Salad for Lunch. Now, I should drive over in my Ute over to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. The mobile wireless net, is “too expensive” for the convenience.
3/31/2008 4:50 PM-
Supper was a cooked “frozen” Chicken Pie w/Vegetables. After Supper, I finished watching an episode of “Seaquest DSV” on my television in my bedroom. One thing that is great about having a DVD Player, is that I can watch what “I want to watch”, whenever I want to watch television, and not have to watch the “garbage” on Network Television now.
Here it is 2 weeks after Mom passed away, and I am thinking, that my Mom really did not like me watching “Cuckoo Television Programs”, which was what she thought of the “Science Fiction/Fantasy” TV Shows & “Animated Cartoons” I like to watch.
3/31/2008 5:13 PM-
Had to just go upstairs to “change” my diaper for the 4th time today.
3/31/2008 6:47 PM-
Watching the evening news, and I
guess that the African country of Zimbabwe is about to “degenerate” into “civil
war”, if that Psychopathic God, Dictator “Robert Mugabe”, “still retains
power”, after this past weekend’s “so-called” elections in that country.