Wednesday,
October 01, 2008Wednesday,
October 01, 2008
9:45 AM-
Here is something “ridiculous”, which is one of Great-Grandsons of the founding publisher of the magazine, “Popular Mechanics”, A.K.A., Phoenix, Arizona’s “Baby Man”. Aww! Widdle “big baby” looks so “cute”…Widdle “big baby” did you do poopies in your dydee? This is from an old newspaper article that I accessed a while ago on the Internet.
Well, I should not be so “harsh”. I too, as an adult survivor of childhood “abuse & neglect”, am also an “Adult Baby”. I have been intermittently posting thoughts regarding “Diaper Discipline Abuse”, which I experienced as a little boy, here on my own blog. “Diaper Discipline Abuse” is very hideous. It is about lies, not having control of one’s own body, & “hurting” touching.
This afternoon, I have to visit my Social Worker/Counselor, Ms. Fisher again. I will have more to talk to her about, regarding being an “Adult Baby”, & my wishing that my body were physically crippled, & that my legs should have been (or should be) encased into HKAFO orthopedic braces, ect.
4:56 PM-
Besides having to see my Social Worker/Counselor, Ms. Fisher, I also stopped @ the “Unisex” Barber Shop on East Broadway (NH Route 102) in Derry to get a needed haircut.
This morning, Nate had be purchase Sub Sandwiches @ the Mike’s Red Barn Deli” in Salem Center for Lunch, after I had gone out in my Ute to take all our household trash & recyclables to the Refuse Collection Center on Shannon Road for Dad.
Nate cooked a turkey pie, Bread Stuffing, & Mashed Turnip for Supper. Except for Dad’s flavor of Diet Soda Pop, there is only a couple small bottles of non-diet soda pop in the house. It is very rare now, that I drink “regular” soda pop.
5:09 PM-
Just watching the news on WHDH-TV, Channel 7. A “very bad man” Monday evening @ the Boston MBTA “Green Line” “Symphony Hall” Trolley Station, took off his clothes, & showed everybody there in the Trolley Car Station, where pee-pee comes from on his body. The “very bad man”, also had made very bad “white-colored pee-pee” in front of some young women there in the Trolley Car Station.
BAD!!!!! YUCKY-POO!!!!! DIRTY!!!!! BAD!!!!! EVIL!!!!!
The Police “hauled” the “very bad man” away to the “Cuckoo Persons’ Prison” in Bridgewater, Massachusetts.
10:03 AM-
Nate is away from home @ his Urologist doctor, & he
asked me to purchase something for Dad for Lunch. Yesterday evening, I watched
the old Western, “Blue Steel”, starring Actor, “John Wayne” on my portable DVD
player. Also watched a documentary on Space Exploration on my DVD player in my
bedroom, before going to bed @ around 11:00 PM.
11:39 AM-
Had Lunch with Dad. Nate is still not home yet. This morning, I did make sure that the kitchen sink was cleared out of dirty dishes for Dad, & I have started washing more dirty laundry for him.
6:02 PM-
The US Senate “version” of the “Financial Syetem Bail-Out Bill”, is filled full of “corrupt” “pork-barrel spending”. As usual, the Senators are lining their own pockets with cash “graft”, while an Autistic Mental Retard “citizen” like myself gets “fleeced.
4:41 PM-
Had just been watching the news on the www.msnbc.com & www.cnn.com news channels, & my own “autistic” impression of Republican Party Candidate for “Vice President”, “Governor Sarah Palin”, is that she is a “Religious Right” “Fruitcake”, with nothing between her ears as far as “political issues”, but “God, Guns, & Gays”. A “rumor” (still floating around), is that in the ~ 7,000 person village in Alaska, where she resides, she as “Mayor” asked the Town Librarian @ the Public Library there about how to “ban” all the Books, CD’s, VHS Tapes, & “DVD’s, with any mention of the word, “GAY” in them, so that they could never again be “borrowed” from the village’s “Public Library”.
She is a part of the “Religious Right Agenda” to turn “America” into a “Christian” version of Iran, a “Theocratic Authoritarian/Totalitarian State”.
Yesterday evening, I did have to spend time @ the Derry Community Television CATV Studio, as a “cameraman”, shooting a Republican Political Party “State/Local” Candidate’s Forum television show. US Senator “John Sununu” of New Hampshire, was an “underclassman” of my brother, “Nate” @ Salem High School. One of his sisters graduated with my brother from Salem High School.
Also, watching the news here in the “late” afternoon, the only thing on, is just “politics”.
1:42 PM-
Just washing more dirty laundry, while Nate drove Dad up to another doctor’s appointment. This morning, I did some grocery shopping for Dad. Lunch was Ham & Bologna Sandwiches, & “made myself”. Also while I was out in my Ute this morning, I purchased postage stamps & mailed letters @ the Post Office for my Dad. Also stopped @ the Kelley Library for a short time,
2:56 PM-
Had been spending time playing Liturgical Hymns on both of my guitars.
3:10 PM-
Well, after “banning” books, ect., the next step is “burning them”, & the “final step”, as outlined by German 19th Century Philosopher, “Heinrich Heine”, is that the “creators” of “ideas”, “books”, ect., “get burned”, which is what happened in Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia, ect.
Pardon my “follow-up” thoughts about what I wrote yesterday here in my journal…
3:18 PM-
The “Divine Right” Communist Dictatorship of North Korea is “today’s” #1 “practicioner” of “Pseudo-Scientific Eugenic Infanticide” on the planet. All infants & toddlers with “Down’s Syndrome”, “Spina Bifida”, “Cerebral Palsy”, “Mental Retardation”, & “Autism” are “ruthlessly exterminated” upon discovery “by the State”, to “insure racial purity”. Also there, “Children”, “Teenagers”, & “Adults” who “develop” “Mental Illnesses” are also “ruthlessly exterminated” in “labor camps”.
North Korea is a “Eugenic Utopian Paradise”.
Pardon my “irony”.
As the character, “Kaled Security Chief, Nyder”, told the Gallifreyian Time Lord, known as the “Doctor”, in the “Doctor Who” television show episode, “Genesis of the Daleks”, “The ‘imperfect’ are rejected…The Kaled Race, must be ‘kept pure’…”.
3:36 PM-
Anyway, while I pulled out a few “points” about the “shithole”, that is “North Korea” from my “autistic” developmentally-disabled memory. Nearly 18 years ago, their “Great Leader” in a “fit of envy” over South Korea’s “Tourist Economy”, & also, because the “Senile Old Fart”, was having trouble medically, “being able to get a ‘hard-on’ with that ‘wench’ of a wife of his”, ordered his own “starving people”, to “build him” a 110-Story “Ugly Steel-Reinforced ‘Erect’ Phallus” of a “Tourist Hotel”, which as a “decrepid piece of shit”, “should have been” what the 9/11 Terrorist Attack Al Queda “Hijackers” should have “Kamikaze bombed – into the ground”, instead of the World Trade Center in New York City”, 7 years ago.
4:08 PM-
Had just cleaned the fluorescent light fixture of all the “dead insects” inside for my Dad, which needed to get done.
Of course, I am waiting again for Nate to return home before I can go out over to the Kelley Library again. After Dad was taken to another doctor’s appointment, & Nate returned him back home, he has been taking a nap. Nate had to go out again on errands.
6:40 PM-
Republican Party Vice Presidential Candidate supporters @ a campaign rally, were calling for “Barak Obama” the Democratic Political Party Candidate to be “strung up” & used for “target practice”.
This means, being “LYNCHED”.
& since it was broadcast on television, “Fruitcake”, “Governor Sarah Palin”, now to me as a developmentally-disabled autistic adult, “Governor Sarah Palin” looks like a “RACIST WHITE SUPREMICIST”.
Smart move “BITCH”. L
8:40 AM-
Just washing my blankies, because they are wet with pee-pee.
9:02 AM-
I have been watching another episode of “The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin” on my portable DVD player/viewer. @ least, “Teddy Ruxpin” has never been a “liar”, like what politicians do “all the time”.
Why do growed-ups “lie”?
Is it because growed-up people not want to “own up” to doing something “wrong”, or saying one thing, and doing something else, or it being all about hiding what they think & feel?
Being an autistic developmentally-disabled adult, I just “openly” say what I think, & how I feel inside. I can not “hide behind” “false” language words & facial expressions.
9:15 AM-
Although my physical body is “growed-up”, “inside”, I can “never be a growed-up”. I am still a “little boy”.
I have never lived on my own. I have “failed” @ “growed up” persons “big thing”, called “getting a job”, & “keeping it”. Growed-ups can do that. “Autistic Mentally Retarded Little Boys” like me, who is 50 years old, “can not do that”, if ever…
9:46 AM-
Not sure if I have to go out in my Ute over to the grocery store for Dad & Nate.
10:09 AM-
Just feeling “stupid”, because Nate told me, that I used the wrong version of laundry soap in the washing machine. We Autistic Mental Retards “lack common sense”.
Always have been a “stupid idiot” I suppose.
10:37 AM-
Have been experiencing lacrimal gland discharges. Nate just “went out” for a while, I guess on errands. Not sure when he will return.
11:11 AM-
Made sure that the kitchen sink was “cleared out” for my Dad, & I picked up all the “loose” newspapers in the Parlour for him.
Also, I have made sure, that Dad got up out of bed, to eat Lunch, & administer his own Insulin injection.
11:18 AM-
Decided to watch an old “Hopalong Cassidy” “Western” on my portable DVD player/viewer. @ least “Hopalong Cassidy” the “Cowboy Hero” is more “truthful & honest”, than the “thieving filth” infesting the American Financial Market & the American Government in Washington, DC.
11:29 AM-
People who are “more trustworthy”, than “anyone in Government or Wall Street, New York City, New York”:
“Superman”, “The Lone Ranger & Tonto”, “Flash Gordon”, “Buck Rogers”, “Roy Rogers & Dale Evans”, “Mr. Spock”, “Gene Autry”, “The Cisco Kid & Pancho”, “Reverend Fred Rogers”, “Elmo”, “Big Bird”, “Cookie Monster”, “Arthur Aardvark”,
“Captain Scarlet”, “Dora the Explorer”, “Blue the Puppy”, “Winnie the Pooh”, “Robin Hood”, “He-Man & She-Ra”, “Thomas the Tank Engine”, “Bob the Builder”, “Teddy Ruxpin”.
Well this is just a partial list…
“Fred Rogers”, while he was alive, producing & hosting his children’s television program, had “never lied” about anything to children & to developmentally-disabled adults like me.
11:53 AM-
A short time ago, I retrieved the mail for Dad.
12:02 PM-
I was just remembering something my old College Professor, “George S. Freimarck” alluded to in the Summer of 1983 to me directly as a person in his office in the “Beatty Building” on-campus @ Wentworth Institute. This was the guy, that helped sell military weapons to the “Anti-Sandinista Forces” in Nicaragua, in “exchange” for “hostages” held in the country of Lebanon. It was “then businessman”, “George W. Bush”, the “present” President of the United States, that helped with the “logistics”, of the CIA “smuggling” all those weapons into Nicaragua, to “wage war” on not just the Sandinista Government in Managua, but the entire “unarmed” destitute “civilian population”, who “owed” the US-Based “United Fruit Company”, financially crushing “serfdom taxes” to the “United Fruit Company”.
This is the “person”, who was “coordinating”, the “arms-transfer” @ the “Iranian end”, & his name is “Ahmadinejad”, who is now the “President of Iran”.
“By Name”, @ that time in 1983, Professor George Freimarck told me, that “technically”, Businessman, “George W. Bush” was “Committing Treason” against the United States.
Anyway, in that conversation, when I had asked Professor Freimarck, about the issue of “openness & trust” in Government, I got an answer, that was “more than I expected”.
1:18 PM-
I am still not sure when my younger brother will be back home. He is off doing “freelance” photography. Who knows, when he will arrive back home.
1:41 PM-
Just thinking about another 2008 Presidential Campaign “issue”, the “War on Terrorism”.
Back in January of 2002, @ my church one Sunday morning, we had an “Ecumenical” visit to the 1st Congregational, United Church of Christ in Pelham, New Hampshire, which I “belong to”, as a “Celibate” autistic developmentally-disabled “gay” man, by “Imam Mohamed Uzair Khan” from the Islamic Center of Greater Lowell, Massachusetts (not far from Pelham, New Hampshire). Around 45 minutes before the 10:00 AM Worship Service, an “unmarked” car with US Government license plates cam into the parking lot of the church, & I happened to be “outside”. A man got out of the vehicle, with a note pad, & was taking down the license play #’s of all the vehicles in my church’s parking lot. When he was taking down the license plate # of my pickup truck, I as a developmentally-disabled adult “approached him”, & “asked” if he had a “Search Warrant”, issued by a Local or Federal Court Judge. The “man in question” flashed an “FBI ID Badge” @ me, & said, that he would “arrest me on the spot” for “Domestic Terrorism”, just for “asking what he was doing”. I was required to “identify myself”, & exactly where I lived, including telephone #. Being “autistic” & developmentally disabled, I “very easily complied” with the “unidentified” FBI Agent.
Since I was “unemployed”, after that “incident”, I really was not given job interviews from any employer in both New Hampshire & Massachusetts, until my Social Worker/Counselor, Ms. Fisher up in Derry, got me onto SSDI Disability “retirement” income in December of 2006.
7:07 PM-
I did spend time @ the Kelley Library reading my e-mail from my contacts in the Asperger’s/Autism Disability Community. I also read news headlines. The “bottom” is dropping out of the New York Stock Market. This same thing happened in October of 1929, which launched the “Great Depression” of the 1930’s. Back then my Paternal Grandpa & Grandma “lost everything”.
7:19 PM-
It has been said, that the ones who “ran” the AIG Financial/Insurance Company, went out & “partied”, while their company went “bankrupt”. The “party is over”…& a lot of “good people” got “screwed-over” financially.
Another “child question”:
Why do good people “suffer”, while bad people, “do not suffer”?
9:07 AM-
Woke up a short time ago, in my usual “nighttime pee-pee puddle”. Of course, I got myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. I guess Nate, my little brother, went out on errands, & I am not sure when he will return.
4:39 PM-
Had been busy yesterday. The video camera battery “failed” after 42 minutes of shooting video footage of the Sandwich Fair Agricultural Exhibition up in Center Sandwich here in New Hampshire. I did not get enough video footage to edit into another television program for Derry community Television.
Today this afternoon was a “disaster”, in that I could not get “anywhere near” the Collings Foundation’s “Private Museum” “Open House”, due to traffic in Stowe, Massachusetts being “backed up for miles” on the back roads leading to their location & “private airfield”.
Therefore, I wasted 1/3 of a tank of Petrol, & “got no video footage” for a “documentary” I was going to “shoot” for Derry Community Television, CATV “Public-Access” in Derry, NH, which is my “volunteer job”, as an autistic developmentally disabled adult.
It took me 90 minutes, to “extricate” myself & my Ute out of the Stowe, Massachusetts “back road traffic grid-lock”, to get back out to Route 495, to drive back home to Salem, New Hampshire.
@ least, the only thing which “went right” today, was the Sunday morning “live” television broadcast of my church’s 10:00 AM Worship Service, which I worked on this morning, “behind the scenes”.
I apologize for not writing about anything more on Friday, but I had nothing else to say that day.
4:55 PM-
Just feeling sad, that I “got nothing useful accomplished” this afternoon. I had been looking forward to shooting footage @ the Collings Foundation’s “Private Museum”, for a “documentary”, I wanted to “produce” & get finished & onto a “Master Broadcast DVD disk”, for this “upcoming” “Veteran’s Day” next month, in addition, to the “usual” ceremony @ the “Cenotaph” for Derry, New Hampshire “War Veterans” in MacGregor Park in “downtown” Derry, New Hampshire.
5:44 PM-
Experiencing a small bilateral lacrimal gland discharge. Was just thinking, about how I relate to non-human animals better than I do with other humans. Farm animals, Rabbits, Guinea Pigs, Cats, Dogs, & Birds are “better than human beings”, to me. Being with “farm animals” is easier to deal with, than being around humans.
6:11 PM-
Had just been upstairs in the kitchen, clearing out the kitchen sink for my elderly Dad. Anyway, if I, the “Autistic Mental Retard” does not do it, it would “never get done”.
Well, I guess I should watch the “evening News”, about the “damn thieving liars on Wall Street & in Washington, DC”. As I see it, the US Military should simply “up & mutiny”, & stage a “Coup D’ Etat” to “get rid of them all” – “via Firing Squad”…& then “rule this country”, with an “Iron Fist”.
8:47 AM-
As usual, I am cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. Today’s activity is driving down to Hingham, Massachusetts, to a Nature Hike with other Autistic/Asperger’s Syndrome “adults”.
5:47 PM-
Had enjoyed being around other Asperger’s Syndrome/Autism adults. There were 11 of us there on the Nature Hike @ the World’s End Reservation in Hingham, Massachusetts.
Of course, for me, one problem I have with hiking/walking more than ¾ of a mile, is that I end-up with “bilateral” pain throughout both my legs, & intense “tingling” skin sensations. Plus, I was having trouble “coordinating” my “walking”. I probably could have used a pair of “Loftsrand Crutches”, just to “assist” me in holding myself from “stumbling” & to lessen the forces on my legs.
6:16 PM-
Tomorrow morning, I have to visit my Primary Care Doctor, Dr. Egenolf in the morning. Therefore, later on, I will have to “set” my alarm clock to “wake me up early”.
12:02 PM-
Had visited the doctor, after getting myself up early, & getting cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. Had a Ham & Cheese Sub Sandwich for Lunch.
I should note, that I did get the Influenza “Vaccination” this morning.
Also this morning, I stopped @ my Bank, to withdraw cash for Petrol & “Adult Diapers”. I am in a “purchase in quantity” “ahead” mode, to have a “month’s supply of Adult Diapers”, for my own total bladder (& bowel) incontinence needs for a while.
12:22 PM-
Made sure that my “diaper pail” got “emptied” of dirty adult disposable diapers. My “schedule” today, is just to spend time @ the Kelley Library, reading my e-mail, & then to go down to Danvers, Massachusetts, to the www.aane.org “North Shore Asperger’s Syndrome Adult’s Social Group”.
12:36 PM-
This morning, I did watch a little bit of television, after returning home from my doctor’s office in Londonderry, & going to the Bank. I did notice, that in the 400’s as far as television channel listings on the “Comcast CATV System”, all those Channel #’s, are for “evil bad television programming”, about “bad people” showing where pee-pee comes from on their bodies, which is “not right”. 50 year-old “Autistic Mental Retards”, like me, who are “still children”, have absolutely “no right whatsoever” to be “exposed” to all those “evil television programs”.
Daddy & little “normal” brother want “Widdle Tommy”, to be “safe” from all the “bad people”.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008-
4:15 PM-
Yesterday, I was @ the “North Shore ARC Center” in Danvers, Massachusetts @ the www.aane.org “North Shore Social Group meeting, for Pizza & Board Games. Myself & 2 other Asperger’s/Autism adults played the old board game, “Monopoly”, to a “3-Way Standoff”. Also yesterday, I made my only “entertainment expenses” purchases for the month. Purchased another “Baby Toy” to add to my “Baby Toy Collection”, & a DVD box set of “Mirror Universe/Alternate Reality” episodes of “Star Trek”. My new “baby toy”, is a cute little “purple elephant”, with teething rings, & “crinkly ears”.
This morning, I spent the morning, cleaning out the Shed in the backyard for my Dad, & “organizing the mess”. Nate had to taxi Dad up to another doctor’s appointment this afternoon. I did of course, “take a nap”, & Nate “woke me up”, when he arrived back home with Dad. Dad got “car sick” & ‘made a mess”. I assisted Dad in “changing his pants”, to get him “cleaned up”, & Nate “cleaned up” the mess Dad made in Nate’s Crysler PT Cruiser Sedan.
5:46 PM-
Supposedly, Vice Presidential “Candidate”, “Governor Sarah Palin” of the Republican Political Party is having a “big campaign rally” here in my town of Salem, New Hampshire, @ the High School. Just another “media circus”, I suppose. It is a good “excuse”, to “stay away from Geremonty Drive” here in Salem.
5:57 PM-
I guess I need to spend time hugging “Chocolate Moo-Moo” Moose “cuddle friend”. A short time ago, I had to change my diaper for the 3rd time today.
6:11 PM-
Watching the evening news on WHDH-TV, Channel 7. I guess that “Pop Music Star”, “Madonna”, can not “stay married”. By contrast, my Mommy & Daddy “stayed married” just over 50 years. Daddy’s “marriage” ended, when Mommy “passed-away”. To “wealthy” celebrities, like her, “marriage”, is “just a game”, that she had no intention of “taking seriously”.
7:55 PM-
Had watched “Part I” of the “Star Trek” “Mirror Universe” episode, “In a Mirror, Darkly”, where 1st Officer, “Jonathan Archer” “mutinies” against his captain, & takes over the “ISS Enterprise, NX-01”, & goes & tries to “capture” a “Normal Universe” Federation Starship – “from the future”, & take it from the “Tholians”.
The “Tholians”, are a “Silicon-Based Intelligent Life–Form”, as opposed to Humans, Vulcans, & Tellarites, who are “Carbon-Based Life Forms”, in the “universe” of “Star Trek”. Of course, the “evil” Chief Medical Officer of the “ISS Enterprise”, “Dr. Phlox” “murders” the “Tholian” the ISS Enterprise captured & “took prisoner”.
3:42 PM-
This morning, I took the household trash to the Refuse Collection Center on Shannon Road for my Dad. I also had to “refill” my own medical prescriptions. After Lunch, I “took a nap”. & now I will be going out over to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail.
9:33 AM-
Had just gone grocery shopping for Nate & Dad. Just being of course, mostly mute & quiet. In a short time, I have to drive Nate up to the Ambulatory Surgery Center in Derry. He has to have another “stone” removed from one of his kidneys.
Was again thinking about those “very hateful people” from Topeka, Kansas, who go all around the country, “damning” our soldiers who were killed in Iraq & Afghanistan @ their Military Funerals. One of the “Scriptures” out of the Holy Bible they have plastered on their “hateful” protest signs, is “badly misquoted” – “& taken out of context”, theologically.
“ROMANS, Chapter 9, Verse 13”, is actually part of a “back reference” by the Apostle Paul, to the earlier Biblical Story of the Patriarch “Isaac” & his 2 sons, “Jacob” & “Essau”. “Jacob”, “Lied like Hell”, to his Father, “Issac”, to “cheat” his older brother “Essau”, out of his “rightful inheritance”.
11:36 AM-
Had just returned home a few minutes ago, after dropping Nate off @ the Ambulatory Surgery Center in Derry. I stopped @ the Hess Petrol Station in Salem, to put Petrol into Dad’s Dodge Caliber Sedan, & I purchased Lunch @ “McCholesterol”. Dad had his own Lunch.
There was a “heating oil” delivery while I was out, & I retrieved the receipt for Nate, & I retrieved the mail from the mailbox for Nate & Dad. Mostly, all “political spear pamphlets” against Democratic Political Party Presidential Candidate, “Barak Obama”.
The “smears”, were about him being a “Closet Muslim Terrorist”.
The real truth, is that he is a “Congregationalist” Protestant Christian, like me.
11:51 AM-
Started washing dirty laundry for my Dad. Like it or not, there are “house chores” to get accomplished.
1:59 PM-
Still waiting for Nate to telephone me, after his kidney stone removal surgery. Continuing to wash dirty laundry for my Dad. I have been watching DVD’s on my portable DVD player/viewer.
2:40 PM-
Telephone call for Nate, but he is “not here” this
afternoon. Started washing the 3rd load of dirty laundry for my Dad.
3:00 PM-
It ends up being very
“frustrating” for me to just have to “pick up” after my 46 year-old “little
brother”. It is just simply, “such a mess”, that gets “left behind”. It always
seems like “let the Autistic Mental Retard – Me”, “clean up the mess” in the
Parlour & Kitchen.
3:34 PM-
Got the Kitchen floor swept up,
& the kitchen sink “cleared out”, & the top of the electric stove
cleaned. I apologize for almost going into an “Autistic Temper Tantrum”, over
the “mess” upstairs.
5:23 PM-
Had to go out to purchase a
sandwich for Dad for Supper, because there is not much in the refrigerator. I
still have a lot of dirty laundry to wash for my Dad.
Now I am washing dirty laundry
load #5 this afternoon.
5:37 PM-
I guess that I apologize for my
“emotional disposition” late yesterday afternoon. Last night, around 8:15 PM, I
brought Nate back home from the hospital, & he, Dad, & I “went to bed”.
This morning, after getting myself
cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day, went out on errands for Dad
& Nate. After Lunch I took a nap, with my huggable cuddle friend, “Grr-Grr”
Bear. Afterwards, I drove over to the Kelley Library to read my e-mail. After
coming back home, I cooked Meat-Loaf, Potatoes, & Green Beans for Supper
for the 3 of us men here @ home. After Supper, I have been watching “cartoons”,
“Sam & Max: Freelance Police”, & “Escaflowne” on my portable DVD
player/viewer.
5:58 PM-
Time to watch the evening news.
Politics is all that is being “covered”.
4:31 PM-
Just being mute & quiet right
now. This morning, I did my usual Sunday morning routine after getting cleaned
up, diapered & dressed of going out to purchase the Sunday newspapers for
Dad, & going to church. Sunday Dinner was Turkey Pie, Stuffing, &
Mashed Turnip.
I did “take a nap”, with my soft
pink “Gertrude” Gorilla cuddle toy, & “Goo-Gee” Bear friend. Afterwards,
Nate had me go out in my Ute for Sub Sandwiches for the 3 of us for Supper.
I suppose, that I am thinking again,
about how I am “still a little boy”, despite being 50 years old,
chronologically.
4:54 PM-
Mutely playing with a few small
toy vehicles, while watching an episode of Star Trek, where Captain Kirk get
“split” by the transporter into his “good” & “evil” selves.
5:39 PM-
Had changed my diaper for the 4th
time today a few minutes ago. Anyway, I have been quite happy, sitting on the
floor of the downstairs Den room, & mutely playing with some of my toy
vehicles.
6:17 PM-
According to the “Weather Report”
on the evening news on WHDH-TV, Channel 7, there will be a “Freeze” here
overnight into early tomorrow morning.
6:46 PM-
This morning, after getting out of
bed, & “arranging” my cuddle friends on my bed, & after getting cleaned
up, diapered & dressed, I drove Nate up to Derry to have the Urologist
“remove” the “Foley Catheter/Male Torture Device” from where pee-pee comes
from. Stopped on the way home from there @ the “Mike’s Red Barn Deli”, for Sub
Sandwiches for Nate, Dad, & I for Lunch. I did “take a nap”, & I had to
then go out in my Ute to the grocery store for materials to cook “Spaghetti
& Cheese” for Supper, which I did myself.
After Supper, I drove over to the
Kelley Library to read my e-mail from my contacts in the Asperger’s
Syndrome/Autism Disability Community, & to read News Stories. I only
watched a single www.youtube.com video
clip of “Fursuiters” gently entertaining children out in Seattle, Washington
recently. I will be “fursuiting” @ my church next Sunday @ my church’s
“child-safe” Halloween Party for the children @ my church as “Sheriff George
Wolf”.
7:30 PM-
I have been mutely playing with
some of my toy vehicles, while watching another episode of the old “Thunderbirds”
Supermarionation “Kid-Vid” Sci-Fi TV show. I think I have “hundreds” of these
little “Mattel Corporation” “Hot Wheels” toy vehicles. Plus of course,
“Matchbox” toy vehicles.
8:31 AM-
Had just finished getting myself
cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day, & I “made a poo-poo” “into
the potty chair”. I guess I have to “taxi” Dad across town to the Dentist this
morning, because Nate is still trying to heal from Kidney Stone Surgery.
9:07 AM-
I suppose, that if I, the “Autistic
Mental Retard” does not start washing “dirty laundry”, it will “not get done”.
12:13 PM-
Had taken Dad to his Dentist
Appointment. Plus I went grocery shopping for him, including purchasing another
package of XL size “Adult Diapers” for my own incontinence needs. Also just got
the kitchen sink “cleared out” for Dad.
12:21 PM-
Making sure more laundry gets
washed & dried for Dad. I do have to go out to shoot video for Derry CTV,
& get to the CATV Studio to my volunteer job.
Not sure why, but I have been
feeling a lot of “internal anger” after Lunch.
12:42 PM-
Maybe my anger is directed @ Nate,
for not being able to “help me out”, trying to do laundry, & cooking &
cleaning. Upstairs still looks like a “cluttered shithole”.
As an autistic person, I “require
rigid order”, not “chaos”, & with Nate being “out of action” for the last
week, I am emotionally “on edge”, & “ready to explode” into an autistic
“temper tantrum”, with the least bit of “provocation”.
8:34 AM-
Simply being mute & quiet, after getting myself cleaned up, diapered & dressed for the day. Outside it is cloudy & raining.
8:48 AM-
Just “emptied” the dishwasher machine of clean dishes, & “put them away” for Dad.
9:01 AM-
It is “difficult”, being a “Gay” developmentally disabled autistic adult. Being “Gay” simply “throws up” more “discriminatory barriers” in the “outside world”, on top of the “issues” & daily problems, living with autism. With my “inability” to read & interpret facial expressions & body language, & the way I “process spoken language”, I am “far more likely” to be “victimized” in a “homophobic hate-crime attack”, than a “neurotypical” “Gay” adult. Outside of home, I am always “fearful” of my own “safety”, because a lot of “Christians”, “want me dead”, despite the fact, that “I am a Christian”.
Consequently, I “cut myself off” from the “Gay Community” here in New Hampshire. Back over 3 ½ years ago, one of the “sub-reasons” why I was “suicidal”, was related to my “sexual orientation”. Before “wanting to die” back then, I did occasionally spend Friday evenings, up in Concord, the State Capital, @ a “church”, that was & still is, a “safe place” for a “Gay” person like myself to meet others “like myself”, just to “not be alone in this world”, as a “Gay” middle-aged man. This “safe group”, probably now does not even “remember”, that “I still exist”.
9:25 AM-
Experiencing a bit of “bilateral” Facial Lacrimal Gland discharge. Simply now experiencing feelings of being “isolated & alone” as a “Gay” Asperger’s Syndrome/Autism developmentally disabled person.
9:29 AM-
Another problem, is that recently, @ the Autumn Conference/Meetup” of www.aane.org, one of the “relationships/sexuality” expert panelists @ one of the “workshops”, quoted recent “research”, stating that among the “General Population”, the # of LGBT persons is “3 out of 100”, but among those on the “Autism Spectrum” of developmental disability, the figure for the # of LGBT autistic adults is “1 out of every 5”. This is almost 10X “higher” than the “General Population”.
Anyway, despite my Christian Faith, I am “Going to Hell”, despite my “living in my own ‘Hell’ every day of my life”. “Hell” will probably “freeze over”, before I ever “find” a “local” LGBT “high-functioning” Asperger’s/Autism guy “my own age”, to “date”, & “have a relationship with”.
2:50 PM-
Had just gotten dressed again after “taking a nap”. I used my diaper to go poo-poo, & cleaned myself up & changed my diaper in the bathroom. Nate asked me to go purchase 3 “Cheeseburgers” for Supper @ the Wendy’s Fast-food Joint next to the Walmart here in town.
4:01 PM-
I did stop in the Walmart, to purchase 2 packages of LG Adult Diapers, since I use whatever cash I can “spare”, to “build up” my “stock” of incontinence supplies.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
8:11 AM-
Yesterday evening, the only thing interesting to watch on television, was the PBS Documentary Series, “Secrets of the Dead”. The “subject”, the “Battle for the Bible”, which was about the history of the Holy Bible being “translated” into English.
John Wycliff & William Tyndale really “pissed off” the Catholic Church, by challenging the Catholic Church “interpretation” of Scripture. J
On a different note, this was me with 9 of the 10 other adults with “Asperger’s syndrome/HFA”, down @ the World’s End Nature Reservation in Hingham, Massachusetts, this past “Columbus Day Holiday”.
9:07 AM-
Had to pay my darn “American Express” Charge Card “bill”. I had used it to “pay for” the www.aane.org Autumn Conference “fee” last month.
A short time ago, I cleaned up al the loose newspapers in the Parlour, & brought then downstairs to go out with the trash, the next time I have to turn my Ute into a “Garbage Lorry”.
10:08 AM-
Nate a few minutes ago, went out on an errand of his own, & he wants me to go out to purchase “Kill-Esterol” Sub Sandwiches from the “Papa Cholesterol” in the Rockingham Mall Shopping Plaza.
Darn!
7:20 PM-
Had just returned home from being over @ the Kelley Library to read my e-mail, & download Astronomical/Space Science information from the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadina, California.
Here is a “high-resolution” image from the Cassini Telecheric Spacecraft orbiting the Planet Saturn, of its Moon, “Enceledus”. Gravitational tidal forces are continually “reshaping” the surface features of this Saturnian Moon.
These are “Infrared” images from the Cassini Telecheric Spacecraft, of the North & South Poles of the Planet Saturn. There is still no “scientific meteorological explanation” for why the North Pole of Saturn has a “Hexagonal” Polar Vortex, while the South Pole of the planet “does not”.
& here, is where the “Spirit” Mars Exploration Telecheric Rover Vehicle, @ the “edge” of a “Volcanic Mesa Plateau”, inside the “Gusev Asteroid Impact Crater”, as seen by the orbiting Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. The bluish-white color in the image, is “ground surface frost”.
2:51 PM-
Yesterday evening, while using the “Channel Guide” on Dad’s CATV descrambler box in the Parlour, I ended-up watching the 1st 5 minutes of the horror movie, “Saw II” that was playing on the Science Fiction Channel. Because of that, I had a “very bad dream” last night, about me being “destroyed” by a steel “Exploding Chastity Hell Device”, locked onto me, with a “fragmentation grenade” inserted where poo-poo comes from, & in my dream, there was “hysterical laughing”, as the electronic timer “ticked down”, & the “fragmentation Grenade” “exploded”, & “splattered my guts everywhere”, inside a “locked” bathroom “somewhere”. The “key” to “unlocking” the “Exploding Chastity Hell device”, was inside where poo-poo comes from, & I was instructed by an evil voice, to “slash open my own belly”, with a “Samurai Sword”, I had in my hand, to “retrieve the key”, to “disarm” the grenade, “before it exploded”.
Needless to say, I woke up “extremely frightened”, clutching “Woggy” Froggy soft cuddle protector friend. I experienced a bilateral Lacrimal Gland discharge, as I “drifted back to sleep”.
As a series of “horror films”, “Saw I, Saw II, Saw III & Saw IV”, are “Pure Sadism”…
Just “Blood, Guts, & Gore”, with a “tiny amount of plotline/story”.
Another series of “pee/poop your pants horror films”, is the “Hellraiser Series”.
Earlier today, I had to go out after Lunch, to purchase “filter bags’ for the old “ELECTROLUX” vacuum cleaner for Nate. I stopped & the “Bull Moose CD/Video Used/Discount Store”, & only purchased a DVD of the gentle “Smurfs”. After I returned home, I “took a nap”, with my huggable friend, “Woggy” Froggy.
3:28 PM-
I guess that Nate needs me to “mail” a letter for him @ the Post Office “after” Supper. Today, it is Chicken Strips, Rice, & Beets.
Halloween is coming up, & is all about “getting scared”, but lots of times, I do not like “scary things”.
4:03 PM-
Yesterday, I was busy, shooting video for Derry Community Television. A Children’s Halloween costume Parade, a Children’s Science Show, & a “Pumpkin Hunt – After Dark”.
Today, after Worship, my church had a “safe” Halloween Party for the Sunday School Children. Sunday Dinner @ home here was Meatloaf.. Nate had me go out for 3 “McCholesterol” Cheeseburgers for Supper.
Right now, I am watching another episode of the old 1950’s TV show, “The Adventures of Robin Hood” on my portable DVD player/viewer.
5:57 PM-
Had just watched 2 episodes of “Star Trek” on my portable DVD player/viewer here in the Den room. Now it is time to watch the Sunday evening news.
Monday, October 27, 2008
8:53 AM-
Other than the news, I only watched the “60 Minutes” News Magazine on the “CBS Network”, & documentaries on “PBS” yesterday evening. ON the “Secrets of the Dead” Forensic Archeology program, it was interesting, that the “original” “CSI Scientist”, in London England, “screwed up” & sent an “innocent” alleged “infamous” murderer, “Doctor Crippen” to be “strung up” for “murdering his wife”, on “evidence”, that could not possibly “hold up in a Court of Law today”.
Anyway, the “DNA evidence”, is that the “remains” found in the Cellar of Doctor Crippen’s house in London, had male “XY” DNA, not female “XX” DNA.
Anyway, the CSI’s @ “Scotland Yard”, now have an “infamous” 100 year-old “open” “Cold Case” to solve…
Of course, in the London of the “Edwardian” period, it is interesting, that there were a lot of “secret” “Back-Alley Therapeutic Abortion Procedures” being performed, since “Abortion”, was “Outlawed”. There were “rumors”, that “Doctor Crippen”, was also an “Abortionist”.
9:54 AM-
Nate had to taxi Dad up to another doctor’s appointment this morning. After they left, I uncontrollably filled my diaper with poo-poo, & I had to “clean myself up”.
10:36 AM-
Washing my pee-pee filled bed sheets. Plus, I was just upstairs, to “vacuum” the bedroom hallway, even though I can not stand the noise of the vacuum cleaner, as an autistic adult.
12:10 PM-
Had been using the mechanical lawn sweeper behind Dad’s riding lawnmower to “pick up fallen leaves” for him this morning.
12:17 PM-
Had “retrieved” the Mail for Nate & Dad. I gues that the “New Hampshire Republican Political Party” really “virulently hates the (N-Word) from the State of Illinois”, who is running for the office of “President of the United States”…