Who said that?

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys, girls, midgets and mutes alike. It’s time for another episode of WHO SAID THAT!! This weeks quote is as follows:

 

“This year will go down in history. For the first time a civilized nation has full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future!”

 

Here are a few hints to help you sniff out the tyrant responsible for those hideous words. This man was elected by the democratic process. He brought great financial reform to his country. He was a strong supporter of youth and social programs. He was one of the first leaders to take God out of public schools. He was a charismatic leader and an excellent motivational speaker.

If you guessed Bill Clinton, you’re wrong!! The man responsible for the quote above is a true mentor/role model to tyrants around the world. His name was Adolf Hitler, and he said it in 1935. Lets all make for a safer AmeriKa and support gun control.

 

               Reactions

 

 Following our last issue, I feel that our position in the world has changed. Our standing amongst our peers and others as well, has been permanently altered by our most revolting act yet: admitting our Christian beliefs and condemning the mass murder of unborn infants.

We have, as opinion of the masses dictates, changed from a few despicable heathens who love to pick on Nazis, Commies, Tyrants, hypocrisy, and, the least of these their brethren the (Practically perfect in every way) Federal Government. To a few despicable heathens who love to pick on Nazis, Commies, Tyrants, hypocrisy, and, the least of these their brethren the (Practically perfect in every            way)Federal Government and happen to have a small, almost undetectable shred of decency. This historic event  has helped to dissolve many of your prior judgements about our organization.

Gaining popularity at this rate, we predict, will enable us to rule the globe within a short 37,000,000 years. But, as you know, unlike many other organizations, world domination isn’t one of our goals. Let’s now compare The Stall to some other organizations around the world.  We’ll compare their accomplishments, detriments, and goals to our own.

Most “organizations” assign themselves an.... imaginary place in which they reside. Both  Partisans and Rebels claim theirs is an “underground” organization. This isn’t terribly creative, in fact, it is the low rent district of imaginary places for your organization to live. Being “underground” signifies being hard to detect and hard to get to. People who use this place are down to earth.  They’re concerned about their cause, not names.

 Covert, (C.I.A., I.M.F etc.)or as I say  pervert organizations don’t claim anything, this is because they are “covert.” However most people say they are “behind the scenes,” because they are able to control things in the theater of life without ever really being noticed.

Communists usually claim whatever sounds good to those they are presently trying to enslave.  (Like Bill Clinton, who  receives massive amounts of support from Communist Party USA)these things are usually something to do with being in our homes, streets, or struggles.  Commies are well suited by their claims, the fact is, they are in our homes, streets, and struggles. When they are in our homes, they are as burglar stealing our God given rights, or attempting to, it’s really impossible to take from you something that God gave to you. In the streets they are rioting on the way to your house. Commies are definitely in our struggles too, because they are usually those whom we struggle against.

 Last and certainly not least, we here at the stall are merely at the stall, or anywhere else that  porcelain fixtures are found. When “Writing on the stall” was thought up, it was meant to signify two things.

#1 the hand  writing on the wall; a part in the Bible in which a hand writes on a wall and warns babylon of it’s impending destruction.

#2 stall, as in a bathroom stall, signifying that our world, our babylon is full of shit.

We here at the stall are like a bathroom. We’re in almost every household.  But we are there only because we are wanted there. We’re not like insurance, there is no law forcing you to have us around.

People come to us with anxiety, a burning urge. They leave us feeling satisfied, refreshed, and enlightened. Maybe this is cause we flush away all the stinking, superficial shit with which our minds are constantly being filled. Or maybe it’s cause when you read the wisdom inscribed in the stall, you realize you’re not the only one that doesn’t like being  neck deep in Society. WE DON’T HIDE FROM ANYONE, AND WE DON’T FORCE ANYONE TO PONDER WHAT’S WRITTEN WITHIN OUR FOUR WALLS.

 

Revenge of the Gerbils

 

Once again, the field reporters for the stall have uncovered a despicable plot, full of hypocrisy, perpetrated by communists with intent on world domination.

 In the beginning, we received a report from a dependable Internet source. Recently this report disappeared from the archive on which it was so securely stored (my Hotmail account) this has lead many of us here at the stall to believe that the conspiracy is much deeper than first thought. I can’t repeat it word for word but I can summerize its gruesome details...

Two fags where taking turns shoving their Gerbil into one another’s colon. The signal word to remove the furry sex toy was “Armageddon.” When the word was given, Fag#1 couldn’t coax the gerbil out. He then struck a match hoping the light would aid in the removal of the temporary anal tenant. The flame was however the tool of justice in the matter. It apparently ignited a small pocket of methane gas, sending a flaming ball of gerbil farther into the unsuspecting fag#2. The last act of the gerbils life was probably its most honorable. The still burning gerbil arrived at an even larger pocket of methane gas causing a small explosion.

The gerbil, the cardboard tube, along with the ignition of the methane gas acted as a small cannon. The gerbil was shot out with such force that upon impact, fag#1’s was left with a broken nose and 2^nd & 3^rd degree burns on his face. Fag#2 was left with the eternal stench of singed gerbil and 3^rd degree burns inside his colon.  You must keep in mind that most Gerbils never get the chance to seek revenge against those who torture and abuse them. At first we believed this to be a random act of violence (although comical) at the hands of homosexuals against gerbils.

However, recently discovered evidence shows a direct ratio between the increasing # of fags and the decline of America’s favorite pet, the gerbil. The following is a press release from the liberal camp. It shows that even the most avid fag defenders are beginning to despise them.... 

 

                                      Jan. 1, 2000

 

Do you remember when we fought against the dirty capitalists and their fur coats? We bankrupted dirty mink farmers by setting free all of their animals that were raised in captivity. So they could at last be free, bringing life to the dream of living in the wild that we all know was in their tiny brains. They all eventually died because they lacked the survival skills needed to live in the wild. But we sent a strong message, telling the world we won’t stand the killing of innocent animals.

Remember when we fought long and hard to save the spotted owl? We spiked trees, (killing loggers) we even sabotaged equipment. (costing  jobs)

It was all worth it the day when those evil saw mills were shut down. (productive and beneficial to the forrest ecosystem by thinning out diseased trees, but definitely evil!!!!) Even though we as a nation had to sacrifice the livelihoods (and lives) of many American loggers to do it, I believe it was a worthy sacrifice to save a national treasure; the spotted owl.

ANIMAL LOVERS OF THE WORLD UNITE! We must stop those with “alternative lifestyles” before we loose the gerbil forever! Even though we will most likely have to sacrifice the lives (or livelihoods) of American faggots to do it, I believe it will be a worthy sacrifice in order to save another national treasure; the gerbil.

How could anyone hate a beautiful animal such as the gerbil? Anyone who is violent enough to harm even the smallest of nature’s creatures deserves to be beaten, tarred & feathered, shot, hung, then shot again.

Violence, fear, and intolerance will no longer be tolerated. We’ll never stop fighting for peace. We’ll never rest until  the offenders dare not offend anymore.(for fear of us)

Remember we stand for (the destruction of) the Constitution, freedom, (democratic socialism), truth, (what we believe is right), justice (trial by media) and the American way (a utopian society).

 

Sincerely, Boshingo  Moonbeam  Sunrise,

leader of Green Peace, Gay Christian Coalition, campaign advisor for Al Gore & Bob Dole, and president of the John Lennon fan club (a subsidiary of the Peoples Liberation Army of China) 

CENSUS 2000

 

Lately I’ve seen the t.v. flooded

with Shit about the “Census 2000." I’ve seen images of a family’s barn burning

down while firefighters are scurrying about. Then, both tragically and suddenly, the one and only fire hose available breaks and the barn is lost... We then see an image of the family who owned the barn, they’re huddled together, heart broken. 

All while a narrator  says something about how the census helps to dictate how much money goes to “your area” for emergency equipment. Then the dose of propaganda ends with a statement like “Census 2000, it’s your future, don’t leave it blank.” 

Now, I don’t have a problem with something like a census. A census is for the purpose of monitoring population growth, a legitimate thing that our government does from time to time.   

However a census is only legitimate when they ask when and where you and the rest of your family were born. That’s it, everything else is a blatant invasion of your privacy. But you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, right?

I saw one of the envelopes today, on it were the words “you are required by law to respond”. I really don’t like this invasion of privacy, especially when scare tactics are used. But there’s something even worse about this stinking census. “The census helps to dictate how much money goes to your area” Do you know what is so significant about that statement? IT IS SOCIALISTIC !!!!!!!! The Federal Government is using the “census” to promote socialism! Does anybody else feel like something is a little...off? Socialism is BAD, BAD, BAD!!

Hitler (as in Adolf Hitler, you know, the guy who burned the jews and almost took over the word.....yeah, him) was a socialist. Nazi Germany was a socialist country. Yet right under our noses we let the tumor of socialism grow unchecked in our country? Aren’t we smart!!

 When our nation was founded, it was a REPUBLIC, not a “democracy”. A democracy is mob rule, it’s ten kids stealing the cookies from the other two, and justifying it by “majority rule”.

 In a republic, “Majority rule” only applies to people who are part of a whole, ie. city counsel, Congress, etc. Every one else is an INDIVIDUAL and are subject only to just laws made by representatives

who are elected by the means set forth in the Constitution of the United States of America.

I don’t really know how to put it better than that... JUST SAY NO to democracy and or socialism!

I’ve heard many ignorant faggots (most of em arent really gay, I just couldn’t think of anything worse to call them) mention the “elastic clause”.A supposed part of the Constitution, which is nothing more than the assumption (by People in the government) that the Government has the power to do just about anything. Isn’t that convenient! (I think every body would love to make that assumption about themselves)

The Constitution spells out in no uncertain terms just what big brother can and can not do. Now, how is a tyrant going to side step something like that? (Basic Federal Dilemma ) “Hmm, oh I got it!” (Tyrant speaking) “Lets publicly “educate” everyone. That way, generation after generation will grown up in the “American way”. Nobody will question us because they grew up in it, there parents grew up in it,” “It’s just the way things are”-john Q Public. “Then we can make an “elastic clause” that allows us to do everything the constitution forbids us from doing! Svimg higha!!”

I’ve got an “ELASTIC CLAUSE” for  The federal government... Try article 10 section 1. It clearly states that any powers not specifically given to the Federal Government by the Constitution are reserved to the states respectively or to the people. All the BFG is supposed to do is provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and ensure domestic tranquility. That means they can levy export/import taxes, provide for the common defense, regulate interstate commerce, and basically settle disputes between the states. Anything more than that is unconstitutional, unlawful and absolutely wrong.  

The lion king-boogie man complex

 

One Sunday afternoon I happened to walk into the living room while my younger siblings were watching the animated wonder brought to us by Walt Disney called “the lion king”. Big deal, right? As I was beholding the mind numbing stupidity of a bunch of animals gathering together to celebrate the birth of another carnivore to kill and eat them. I realized that this isn’t far from the truth with people.

Look at it this way. The lions clearly represent the royalty or the government in this particular film. Equally as obvious is how the other animals represent the people, and that “Scar” who also happens to be a lion, is the bad guy. Why is it that Scar is bad and Mufasa and the rest of the lions are good? All of them kill and eat the other animals. And if you were to compare the two sides by numbers alone, Mufasa and all his followers eat far more than poor Scar.

In one scene, Mufasa was explaining to Simba some crap about being king, and how kings are supposed to protect their subjects. (The reason for all government) Then Young Simba said, “but don’t we eat the antelope?” Mufasa then did the classic government thing to do... he side stepped the question with something about the “circle of life” (food chain)

I then stumbled onto this train of thought... what separates one Government from the next? Why is ours so much better than that of Great Brittan? We’re both supposedly free, and “democratic” so what’s the big deal ? They both tax the pants off of the people, in Brittan guns are banned, here guns are about to be banned. Both governments are known to massacre Citizens from time to time. It’s the “us and them”attitude. All governments prey on the people (like the lions) it has nothing to do with who eats more. It’s simply what we’re raised to believe. Do you think that people in Cuba hail Castro as the great Satan that we do here? Hell no. Cubans are glad to be Cubans cause they’re taught to think they live in the best country in the world. (Same game here folks)

The reality of it is simple. We have OUR government around to “protect us” from other governments that would most likely do the same thing to us that our current system does.

It’s a fact that people are capable of doing more and are more united when they poses a common goal or fear. The Government has created in our minds the image of a “boogie man”to create this effect. Take Russia for example, do you think they were saying “we are evil, the United States is good” I don’t think so. Just like our government said “Russia is bad and we are good”, Russian officials said the same about us.

President Kennedy once said “ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.” (or something like that)  What a crock!! All government in this country was formed for the sole purpose of serving you and I. Don’t get battered citizen syndrome. You don’t have to take the abuse.

Faded Glory

A few days ago I was on lunch break at subway. Ahead of me in line was a woman who caught my attention. She was older, I don’t know how old, judging by the guy she was with she was around 35-40. Seeing her made me see the sadness of our lives.

She had frizzy blonde hair (probably bleached, and badly damaged by over styling) her figure was something that many would admire.

Her large breasts seemed out of per portion to the rest of her. They were probably shaped and molded to the desired form by modern surgical techniques. Her waist and thighs were the appropriate size, according to today’s heroine junkie-supermodel standard. They didn’t look natural, they looked as though someone had made them from clay and didn’t quite get it right  Once again the product of modern science. Her hands were adorned with several rings and a golden bracelet on one wrist. She wore sunglasses and attractive clothing. Her jeans were tight enough to pinch the blood out of my legs. Her  skin, especially on  her face looked like she’d spent most of her life under a heat lamp. (I assumed from overexposure to the sun.) It was obvious she had tried to cover it with makeup, but it didn’t help.

Standing before me was a woman who, at one point in her life, must have been beautiful. She had devoted much of her life to looking beautiful, and now she looked dried out, used up, and much older than she was. She’s trying to keep her “beauty” even though it’s inevitable that she’ll  eventually get old and loose her looks. All she’s done is destroyed her natural beauty made herself look fake.

I also saw a little child today. She was at the Laundromat, playing while her mother did the laundry. She occupied herself by playing with the knobs on the soap dispenser. She doesn’t care how she looks or how much money she has. I then compared her to the woman I saw earlier. At one point she was a little child too. How did one become the other? I guess that’s life. Just remember there’s more to youth than a nice figure. You only get old when the world around you loses it’s wonder.

It’s terrible to devote one’s life to looks or wealth, because one will slowly slip away leaving you in despair, and your need for the other will never be satisfied; it will leave you empty and alone. I used to be a little upset about the fact that my hair will eventually fall out... I don’t care any more. I hope that I, and you will have the courage to age gracefully.