Dear Diary,

I’ve been spending the last week or so here in Stellairia. Jordan had taken off with his father to the shadows and was planning to be gone for at least a week and a half, so I’ve been working and training with Rufus.

Rufus is probably my best friend. He’s the only one who knows my deepest secrets—of my search for Father behind Mother’s back, my love for Jordan. He’s always there when I need him.

The goings-on between Jordan and myself is being kept secret. I don’t quite know why—normally, I’m not one known for hiding things and keeping them secret. If anything, probably no one would even care, but I would prefer it if no one really knew about the whole thing. What would the Amberites say? How would my family react? (Speaking of family, ever since Millithor has been raised to noble status, Mother tells me that more relatives that I’ve never known about are beginning to come out of the woodworks!)

Our infamous "Brat Pack" has created a special shadow all of our very own. We call it Arcadia. The thing that makes it so special is the Trump Gallery. There are trumps of just about everyone we can think of, and we can do all of our trumping and trump-spying from there if we want. The Gallery still needs to be given a name. It had a very child-like innocence and personality to it, and has been asking for a name. Aside from the Gallery, we each of us have our own apartment here in our castle. It is from here that I had decided to really and truly find my father.

I got a hold of Rufus first. I asked him if he knew anything about a minor house of Chaos by the name of Gunther. He replied that he was familiar with the name and that Gunther ways no longer existed in Chaos. In fact, the House of Gunther was wiped out completely with the exception of one survivor and he was known to be a great warrior in his time, but he had left Chaos years ago. I was absolutely beside myself. I was angry at my father for not being there for me, but my curiosity was getting the better of me and I actually wanted to see my father. Rufus consoled me and said that it was perfectly alright and that if I wanted to find my father, I should. I was so flustered that the stupid question of "How?" escaped my lips. So I secluded myself and sent the Logrus out to find him.

I found him—the valiant knight, off in some shadow, riding back victorious to some castle. I didn’t make any contact, but decided to follow and see where he would go. He went back to the castle, went in directly to see the King, who was pleased with what he had done, and had referred to the valiant knight as Flynn the Champion and proclaimed that there was to be a great feast in his honor for defending the land. As you can guess, my heart had done a double back-flip as the mere mention of his name. Now all I had to do was get him alone. So I let the Logrus follow him to his quarters, where he began to freshen up. I pulled myself through, standing quietly in the shadows, waiting for him to notice me.

I guess I had startled him, because he had grabbed his sword and had the point of it at my neck, demanding who the hell I was. I realized how much I looked like him in just one glance. He had the same blue eyes and flaming red hair like I did. He had red, almost bushy eyebrows, and bushy sideburns. He was a tall man, and physically fit. In fact, he was rather handsome. (My red-head features had marked me as a black sheep compared to all the dark features of the Millithor clan.)

"I’m not surprised that you don’t know who I am. In fact, I didn’t expect you to know. My name is Jaylena,"

"Who sent you?" the sword never once wavered.

"No one sent me. I came on my own accord. I came to find you, Lord Flynn of Chaos," I said. He seemed to be taken by surprise.

"What do you want?"

"Does House Millithor ring any bells?" I asked quietly as I crossed my arms and the sword began to waver. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.

"And what of it?" he demanded.

"I came looking for you, Father." I waited for a reaction. I think my heart was actually ready to jump out of my chest.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Jaylena," I replied. "I’m your daughter."

"Daughter, is it? And what of your mother?"

"Her name is Lady Cassidy," I said softly.

"I know her name!" he barked. "You needn’t school me in memory, child!" I could feel anger rise up within me, but I made no move to do anything about it.

"So what is it that you want, Daughter?"

"Nothing," was all I was able to say. I was a whole flood of emotions—I didn’t know whether or not to be happy and relieved about finding him, or sad and angry that he had been missing from my life all of these years, or to be just flat-out confused.

"Come, now. You obviously want information. A young woman who says is my long-lost daughter shows up here in my bedroom and says she wants nothing. What will you give me for this information?" I stared back at him in what I think was disbelief. I was still trying to process everything that was going on.

"Why did you leave Chaos?" I asked. I really wanted to know that more than anything. He told me his reasons, and I agreed. With all the fighting and back-stabbing that goes on, I would want out myself. Still, I didn’t mention my anger about him not sticking around. He decided that we should go for a ride—it made him feel better, he said.

As we were riding, he asks "So how fares your brother?" Brother?!

"I have a brother?" I asked.

"His name is Alanon,"

"Mother never told me about him. Do you keep in touch with him?"

"He would be your older brother. I haven’t seen him since just before you were born. He took off on some grand adventure and hadn’t heard from him since. She never told you?"

"Looks like Mother left out a few details," I said quietly as I rode beside him. Suddenly there in the road before us, there stood four black horsemen.

"Friends of yours?" he asked. I replied "no". Just looking at them struck a strange kind of fear within me. I had told no one where I was going, and I was there on business of my own. I could feel my very being just shudder with fear as my stomach suddenly quelched. My mount felt it and suddenly became skittish.

"Jaylena, come with us. The Master is waiting for you," a voice, that wasn’t human called out to me. I began to back my mount up.

"I’m not even going to ask. I’ll hold them off for you while you do your thing and get out of here," he pulled his sword and charged the horsemen while I trumped Tremere and got the heck out of there.

Back in Amber, I instantly trumped Mother, who pulled me through. She was apparently on a date with Gerard. He excused himself and I confronted her about Alanon. She became all sad and told me that yes, I had an older brother, but he had died just before I was born. Now I’m all confused! I left her to her date and had Puck Trump me out of there.

There were some weird things going on with the "Brat Pack". It was clear that someone is after us. Tremere and Victoria were attacked by the mysterious horsemen. Victoria had gotten the worst of it, I think. She had attacked us and managed to knock me on my ass! I then tried using Logrus to find these horsemen, but I really didn’t have much to go on and didn’t find the right ones. In embarrassment and to the disgust of Martin, (who gets fed up with the whole stinking thing) I came back to the castle.

Whatever it is, we’re in for hell.

Dear Diary,

Had dinner with Father last night only to find out that my mother, the woman who raised me—the only mother I’ve ever known—is not my mother. As it turns out, Llewella of Amber is my mother! So I’m a half-breed after all. My mother is an Amberite and my Father is from Chaos. Who knew! As it turns out, Llewella gave me to Flynn to raise. She could not raise me, or else suffer the fate of her sister Sand and the wrath of Oberon. Flynn could not raise me, so he left me with Cassidy, who raised me. I wonder why Cassidy never told me this before? But getting back to the dinner topic, I loaned him my trump of Llewella so he could get a hold of her himself and straighten a few things out. I wasn’t about to simply trump Llewella and say "Here I am!" It’s much different this time.

I had my lineage confirmed by a stranger that came down to breakfast this morning. Blond, blue-eyed, and about 5’9". I knew the face only from the Trump deck I had picked up in the library. He’s been presumed dead all these years. He took one good look at me and declared that Llewella is my mother and introduced himself as Uncle Delwin. He’s such a charmer! We were laughing and having a good old time when Jordan came down to breakfast. Delwin couldn’t see the resemblance between Jordan and Bleys. (Things that make you say hmm!)

Later on in the garden, Victoria and myself were having a conversation when all of a sudden, the Human Trump appears—Brand. He was offering to help get rid of the Black Riders, who have been plaguing us for a while now. We did the smart thing and said NO to Brand like you say NO to drugs! But Brand is not one to give up easily. He actually got us all together at some pub—the Rotten Oasis, somewhere off in shadow. I posed the question of "Why come to us?" He replied that with us being second generation, there was a lot more to work with—the elders are too set in their ways to even listen. Jordan would have none of it and walked away. He made things seem clear and even made it sound like things made sense, but I still did not give in—Puck did, however, much to our surprise. Upon that note, we returned to Amber to find a big battle brewing. In the midst of all that, of all the people to Trump me, I get a call from Luke over in Kashfa, telling me that the Eye of Judgment that is in Coral’s head is acting up. I pulled him through so he could get to the bottom of the situation, and we battle on!

In the middle of the battle, Lord Finndo trumps me to tell me that my assistance is needed at the castle, which is virtually empty and undefended from the inside. I agreed to go back and had him pull me through, but I realize until too late that he was indeed the traitor we had been looking for—he pulled me through right onto his sword and I was seeing stars! (You would too, if you had a blade in your gut!) Dammit, that’s twice!!  >=0  (grumpy face)  I looked around for anyone else and saw that Random was already down and had already suffered the same fate I was about to. I received a Trump from Victoria, who pulls me through to her, but unfortunately brings Finndo along too and my situation had still not changed. Jordan, Benedict and Fiona show up to get at Finndo and I’m thankfully dropped to the ground and off the sword. Victoria’s quick thinking trumped us back to her place where I was put to rights again and I had a chance to shape shift the damage a little bit, but I was in need of a doctor, so we Trumped over to a shadow that had one. (And that’s all I had to say about that!) But battle-wise, I have learned that Uncle Benedict has been in a terrible accident and is currently in a coma. Our side seems to be getting hit pretty hard. But the good news is that we have Puck back. It seems that he was under some sort of spell—the kind Tiffany and Justin were under—and now he’s gotten away and he’s back now, everything’s fine, now. (How are you?)

Later on that evening when I was feeling better, I cornered Jordan. It went like this:

Find Jordan. Dump Jordan. Hate Jordan’s guts. End of story.

After all the hoop-la of this war-thing, come to find out that Martin is missing—which takes precedence over Delwin’s search for his sister (my aunt) Sand, but Martin is nowhere to be found—or else he doesn’t want to be found. But in searching for Sand, we checked out the abyss to this place—like shadow—a dream-type place, belonging to Oneros, who is Dowrkin’s brother! I tell you, relatives really are beginning to come out of the woodworks! Well, he’s not such a bad guy. He released Sand to us, on condition that Puck owed him a favor whenever he needed it. An even happier ending to the story—Sand is Puck’s mom! So now we’re all related! I don’t know if that’s an entirely good thing or a bad.

And in happy news with me, I am reunited with my mom—my real one. Llewella and I hit it off perfectly, and we spent a lovely time in Rebma catching up on a lifetime missed, and we laughed, we cried—mostly cried, but it was good. It made me really feel whole.

—5 Years Later

Dear Diary,

Five years have passed, and life has been peaceful here in Amber. I have been spending my time in getting to know my parents better. I spend time with Mother down in Rebma, and we have a great time, shopping in Rebma City and just doing the "girl" things. We’re like a couple of teenagers, scammin’ on guys, and flirting with the young men in the courts. I like Mom. She’s nothing like the elder Amberites. She’s quiet, and stays out of "the game". I’m glad. Father is the same way.

Flynn is a lot of fun. We ride, we hunt and occasionally carry out a mission for the kingdom which he currently serves. We really are quite a team. I can tell that he’s very proud to call me his daughter. I like that very much. Flynn is fun! We can party and brawl with the best of them—his favorite hang out is a pub by the name of World’s End, or something like that—who cares when you’re having so much fun!

And how else do I spend my time?--it’s not pining after Jordan, I can tell you that. I am completely over him. A complete waste of my time. Jordan who? I’m just having fun beatin’ ‘em off with a stick! Speaking of fun, I’m having a blast hanging out with Puck in his Ways over in Chaos. When I’m not with Flynn, I’m partying with Puck.

As for the rest of my "family", my relation with them has grown stagnant except for Grandfather and for Cassidy. That’s thanks to Rufus. It doesn’t matter about my jealous cousin Lucinda. I can finally kick her butt and not worry about it.

In recent news, Chaos has been thrown into Civil War, and Merlin is missing. I have aligned myself with Puck and House Hendrake. I have agreed to defend Puck Ways in the event of attack, nothing more. Rufus agrees with me and is currently residing there, since staying in the Millithor family shadow is now considered dangerous.

The last few days, however, have been peaceful. Amber has been put on alert should Chaos end the war and decide on attacking. I hope that when the war ends, Chaos will decide it better not to attack.

The other morning, I was having my breakfast "al fresco" out on the balcony—I was fully enjoying my Denver omelet, breakfast burrito and a chilled glass of sparkling apple cider. The birds were chirping, there was a nice breeze, beautiful scenery and a nice scent of Arden Pine wafting through the air. I was in a great mood—nothing was going to bring me down! I was taking a break from partying and playing Father’s Little Knight. But the morning came to a screeching halt when all of a sudden, I hear Puck screaming out for help. I ran downstairs, my heart pounding, come to find out that he was hauling none other than Farrell over his shoulder! Farrell looked badly injured and Puck went on to explain that he had escaped from Brand. Puck just hurried along and hauled him down to the infirmary.

As soon as he was done, he found me and apologized profusely for interrupting my breakfast. I told him not to worry and he asked to join me and I let him. It was pleasant. We talked for a long time and took a walk down in the gardens and then stopped for lunch. We paused to watch Simon and Jordan go at it with that sparring thing Jordan likes so well. (I could beat Jordan blindfolded!) Unfortunately, I was not in the mood to be showing off my rough side. (That’s why the relaxation—I’m on vacation!) The testosterone was nearly at a sickening level for me. Boys and their little toys—it’s just being obnoxious if you ask me! Simon must have picked up on my attitude and challenged me to a sparring match for when he got done with Jordan. I didn’t even stoop down to his level to take that challenge, even though I so badly want to put him in his place—I don’t think he knows who he’s dealing with! Tremere was there to try and egg me on, but I still refused. God, men can be so damn childish! This whole thing was childish and stupid!

I didn’t want to be hanging around there anymore, so I trumped Dad. Thankfully, he was at World’s End, living it up. I figured a few drinks with the old man couldn’t hurt anything, so I had him pull me through. Father seemed to be a little toasted already.

"Daughter, I am willing to bet that you couldn’t drink your own flesh and blood under the table!" Ah, what age and several beers will do to your perception! I laughed out loud and took him on. Why my sudden change of heart? Probably because of the company and the atmosphere and the fact that it was my father—who really knows?

I couldn’t tell you how long we were at it—drinking, laughing, singing and living it up! I swear I’m not the same person I was over five years ago! When I first arrived in Amber, I was reserved and kept to myself. Now I find myself having contests with my father to see who gets drunk first and passes out.

We were very into our little contest and I won when Puck suddenly showed up, looking a little down. Apparently, this is one of his haunts as well. I grabbed him a drink and he told me his little secret that’s got him depressed (and in deep shit with Dara!)  =0   He tells me that he’s the reason that Chaos is in civil war—‘nuff said. We got more beer and got extremely drunk—more so than I have ever been in my life. (Reminder not to do that with Dad again for a very, very long time!) I have no memory of what had happened after that. All I do know is that my memory decided to work again the following morning. The only evidence of the night before was Puck, me, bed and no clothes on. As a matter of fact, the clothing was strewn about all over, there were claw marks on the wall, the back of the door, his clothes and evidence of claw marks on his back. I wasn’t the least bit panicked. A little surprised, I suppose. Puck only looked up and smiled at me. All I could say was "Damn! I must’ve been good!"

We used to Logrus to pull through some breakfast and lots of coffee. I just wish I could remember what had happened the night before! Father was still passed out downstairs by the time we made it down. I woke him up just in time for a café latte and said good bye.

And what’s a Diary entry without adding at least one new relative to the list? Come to find out that Uncle Eric, who has been long dead, has a daughter by the name of Elysium. So now I have a new cousin. There now. Stay tuned for next week’s episode of As the Amberite Turns!

—one year later

Dear Diary,

Life has been one big party over the past year and we can thank Puck for that—‘nuff said. He’s been gone for the last couple of months, off exploring, or doing god knows what. I miss him, I suppose. He brought out the best—and the worst—in me. I’m not quite sure if that was a good or a bad. I’m wondering if I’m ever going see him again? Oh, well. Knowing Puck, I’ll see him when I see him.

But enough about Puck. I just had the most divine experience! I have seen the legendary Unicorn! I was on a mission with Flynn, and while waiting outside a cave where an old magi lived, she appeared to me and then disappeared. I didn’t hesitate to leave. Flynn knows that when I leave without telling him, it’s important and he understands my diplomatic position over in Amber. After the civil war incident in Chaos, I’m having to show up to Castle Amber from time to time.

I had to use the Logrus to get over to Amber and went straight over to the Unicorn’s Grove, where I found Tremere and Victoria with Akosha, her pet tiger and was soon joined by Jordan, Delwin and a six-legged horse. We were discussing the strange fact that the trumps were not working. Victoria mentioned that Tori (her pattern shadow) came to her and expressed concern over the Primal Pattern. It "flickered"—whatever that means. We were all excited, for everyone had seen the Unicorn. But there was also a kind of tension about the whole thing as well. Why? A little bird told us that the Unicorn had a message for all of us, that we were chosen to defend Amber. The little bird had also told us that he was to be our guide through shadow as we were to carry out our mission.

The little bird took us through shadow and led us up the steps of a temple, where monks in purple and gold robes greeted us. The colors reminded me of a basketball team that I had seen on shadow Earth—the Lakers, I think they were called. They took us inside and ushered us into a chamber where more of them were waiting. There were three important looking ones seated on a platform. As we walked down the rug runner, it began to glow, and a general whispering of "The Chosen Ones!" began to circulate throughout the room. Akosha didn’t walk up with us, since the rug did not glow for her. As you can guess, Victoria was most upset.

Apparently, we had been chosen to defeat some unseen enemy. We had been chosen to stop the danger before it reached Amber. Jordan asked the question that was on all our minds. Why us?

Because we had the best chance of succeeding.

They ushered us into a room where there was a darkened mirror, and that was to serve as the gateway to where we were supposed to go. I changed into my Chaos form, and after having a brief fiasco with the mirror and jumping through, the trumps are working again, but not correctly. The trumps are burning-hot to the touch; I found out when I tried to trump Flynn. I couldn’t even hold onto the card. I wound up dropping it and wouldn’t pick it up again until I knew it was cool enough. We hiked over to a nearby town that had signs of being destroyed recently. Akosha’s danger sense was going absolutely bonkers and we had a brief encounter with a black-shadow-thing and Tremere, with the help of Delwin, was able to kill it. A woman watching in the rubble nearby had seen what had happened, was suddenly frightened by our presence and ran away.

We tracked her down, and I was able to point out a secret passage that she had disappeared into. We went down and found ourselves in a cavern of some sort. Akosha’s danger sense was going bonkers, and Delwin’s spikard was going nuts. The surviving villagers ambushed us and took us to the chief, who decides to trust us and gives us a mission to the Dark Tower to stop these shadow-things from attacking again, once he found out that we were the "chosen" warriors from beyond the shadow. He gave us a guide by the name of Moodaddy, who said he could get to the tower in about three days. Delwin wasn’t in the mood to wait so long, so he conjured up a magical, flying carpet that would get us there by air in about an hour.

The trip was nondescript except for dodging the dragon. We had found the Tower in question when the dragon attacked. We came away unscathed except for Moodaddy, who was nothing more than a skeleton sitting there.

"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well," Delwin quoted Shakespeare as he shoved the bones over the side with a well aimed kick. I’m sorry, it may sound sick or uncaring, but I had to laugh out loud! It was then that we had landed and entered the Tower. This time, after poking around a little bit, we found ourselves in a room with a strange orb in the center. Next thing that happened was very strange.

We were briefly separated for a moment upon entering the room, and before I knew it, Victoria was attacking Jordan! I rushed over to try to stop her and intervene; I was sure she had flipped her lid again—this wasn’t the first time she’s attacked a member of our team. But in doing so, I was faced with Delwin, who swung his sword and nearly chopped my arm off just below the elbow. It was literally hanging by a thread. It caused me to lose my sword and I had fallen to my knees. I was afraid of Delwin, but suddenly inexplicably angry with Jordan, who was running away from me and heading for the other side of this orb-thing. I didn’t wait for Delwin. I sprung for Jordan and successfully knocked him down, but could not get a grip on him with my tail, and he managed to get away from me. It was here that I paused to cradle my injured arm. I knew that it was Delwin coming up behind me with sword raised, intending to hack my head off, but I would have none of it. I couldn’t have timed it better. I lashed out with my tail, grabbing his wrist, and using his own momentum, threw him over my shoulder and slammed him as hard as I could onto the floor and ripped his throat out with my claws—it was him or me. The next instant, he’s gone. As it turns out, we were fighting mirror images of each other—I couldn’t explain it. It’s just confusing—‘nuff said. Once the battle was over, I had a chance to find my sword and start healing my arm.

This time, we were escorted into a rather large room by monks in black and red robes. Those colors reminded me of another basketball team called the Bulls. The only thing that was said to us was "The Master will see you now."

The master was this tall, hideous, horned creature. He was the real menace we came to stop. He was nasty, let me tell you! He had all the earmarks of Brand-type personality—wanting to conquer the universe and all.

Let’s see. Could it be…Satan?! Isn’t that special! He completely underestimated us. Despite his efforts to stop us, we prevailed and managed to mess him up pretty good before he escaped. Once he disappeared, the tower began to crumble around us and we made it out on Delwin’s magic carpet. We went back through the mirror and were hailed as heroes. Everything was put to rights again—including the Trumps and my arm was put back as good as new.

—Two months later.

Dear Diary,

There is news and wonderful happenings going on in Amber, not to mention some weird stuff as well. Lemme tell you about it.

One night, I was out with Flynn over at World’s End, doing that drinking thing again. (I swear, ever since I’ve found Father, I think I’ve become a lush!) Anyway, I get a trump call from Aunt Sand saying to come in for dinner and that Random has a major announcement. So I bid Flynn good bye and head on over to Amber.

Random’s big announcement is that Vialle is pregnant! This really is cause for a celebration! I’ll have to get together with Victoria and start planning the baby shower and the christening! But that night at dinner, there were two new faces at the dinner table, one being Fabian, claiming to be Corwin’s son and the other I did not find out who he was until after dinner. All I knew was that he was Flora’s guest and that he had been staring at me all through dinner. He looked at me as if he knew who I was, or as if I was supposed to recognize him, and I didn’t. Fabian, who was seated next to me at dinner, noticed this and promised to introduce me to him after dinner since I seemed to be so occupied with him. Personally, I thought it to be the other way around, and it almost made me uncomfortable.

When after dinner came around, we retired to the ballroom and Random gave us the choice of staying or leaving. He was in too good of a mood to care, I guess. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in a better mood, come to think of it. This is a really good thing! But getting back to the stranger at dinner—turns out to be my cousin, Draven Millithor. His father is Nicholas and by the way the conversation went, he hadn’t heard that I had found my "real" parents and I didn’t see much of a point in telling him, so I’ve kept quiet.

And in other news, Lord Despil will be not only succeeding the Chaos throne, but he will also be getting married. I’m happy for Despil, but somehow I know that everyone is silently wondering what the hell happened to Merlin. As for me, I’m not sure if I really want to be there, seeing that my so-called relatives will be there also. I’ve told Draven of my reservations on going, but he said he would be there to step in to protect me from them if the need arose. I’m grateful for that.

Then, to throw a monkey-wrench into the evening festivities, something was loose in the castle, and it was killing whatever got in its way—the guards. Victoria and I were the only ones to get a first look at the thing—all gray and goopy—like Gak. (Some weird stuff I found on Shadow Earth) It wore no clothing and it had huge black eyes. It was standing over a fallen guard, getting a good look at us before taking off. Victoria and I yelled a warning to whoever was in earshot to sound the alarm and we went chasing after it. I went changing into my Chaos form as I did, having to run on all fours, due to the low ceiling.

Victoria and I chased it around a corner, and split up when the hallway forked. I was the unfortunate one who found it—or rather, it found me first. It had shape shifted to look like Victoria. I didn’t know the difference, and was caught completely off my guard as she took a firm grip on my tail and slammed me into the wall. I heard something in my tail pop and was sure that it was broken. In pain and anger, I lashed out with my feet, but she grabbed my leg and pulled it out of the socket and threw me back into the wall again. (I had been thrown against the wall so hard that there was a clear indention in it where I hit!) I was then left alone, howling in pain, and it took off down the hall again. Victoria—the real one—found me and had Flora with her, who was giving me assistance as I shape changed back to my human form and began to shape shift the damage to my back and leg. I have to heal before I try to do anything else.

I had barely healed myself when it returned, this time as Gerard and it attacked Flora, giving her a nasty wound. I holler for help again and this time, others do rally to the cry, but as Jordan goes to lend his helping hand, the thing traps him to where he couldn’t move. It had Flora and myself trapped again. It was toying with me and I was trying to hold it off while she tried to Trump us out. Once she made contact with Fiona, the thing let us all go and took off down the corridors again, this time for the infirmary. No one had seen what happened, but when we all got there, there was Benedict, out of his coma with the thing hanging dead from his arm. The whole fiasco was put to rest by taking the thing outside and burning it.