*
"This isn't the relationship I thought I wanted." Ed crossed his arms and contemplated the view on the other side of the kitchen.
Amused, Jack looked over his shoulder and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't picture me on all fours with my ass in the air, Detective?"
Ed rolled his eyes and crossed the kitchen. "Oh, I pictured that all right, Counselor. I just assumed there'd be a lot less clothes involved. And I pictured it going down in the bedroom, not on the kitchen floor." He squatted next to Jack. "What are you doing down here, anyway?"
Jack sighed. "This is a vaguely embarrassing story, Ed. Do I have to tell you?"
"It's embarrassing? Then you definitely have to tell me."
"I was doing dishes. There was a hole in the bottom of my shirt pocket that I hadn't noticed. My pen fell out and slipped down the drain." He gestured at the pipes. "I'm trying to get it back."
"Oh, God, Jack, please call a plumber."
Jack frowned, hurt. "You don't think I can do it on my own?"
"Jack." Ed took Jack's face in his hands. "I love you more than anything. I trust you with my life. And, no, I absolutely do not think you can do this on your own."
Jack glared, but he figured Ed was probably right on this one. "Fine," he conceded, holding out his hands. "Help me up."
As Ed pulled Jack to his feet, he asked, "What is it with you and that pen, anyway?" Jack flushed slightly. "Nothing."
"Uh-huh. I hope you lie better than that to a jury."
"Ed!" Jack sighed again. "It was yours."
"What was?"
"The pen." Jack shrugged. "You and Lennie came to Hogan Place to talk about the Ellerbie case. Halfway through, my pen ran out of ink."
"And I gave you mine." Ed nodded, remembering. "We weren't even together yet."
"But I was watching you." Jack looked a bit sheepish.
Laughing, Ed drew Jack closer. "You are a sap, Jack McCoy."
"Yes, I am," Jack said proudly. "I'm a sap who wants his pen back."
Ed kissed him. "Then call a plumber."
END