Title: A Trip in Leggie's Shoes
Chapter 7: A Blaze of Insanity
Author: Audrey Ramirez
Contact: audreyramirez@aol.com
Rated: PG-13
Summary: What would happen if you got transported into the Lord of the Rings movie, it was real, and you were in Legolas's body....did I mention that you were utterly crazy too? Probably ruin his life...


*

It was the night that we came down Caradhras when I snuck off into the trees. The Fellowship was sleeping, with their blankets spread out on the dirt, when I ran off with my bow. Safely under the trees, I checked back to make sure none of the members were awake. Then slowly and carefully I took out an arrow and fit it into my bow.

I drew it back carefully, and aimed it at a nearby tree trunk. I squinted up one eye, and when I was sure I was ready, I let the arrow fly. But suddenly it was gone.

It must have flown way past the trunk, I thought to myself, I don't know my own strength! I stepped forward and peered around in the darkness, but suddenly I felt something under my foot. I looked down and sighed.

"Am I *that* bad!?" I thought to myself. The arrow hadn't even made it past me. It had fallen to the ground as soon as I had let it go.

I tried another one. This time it landed in the dirt near the tree trunk, but not even close to where I had been aiming. I hadn't received Legolas's skills. Only he knew how to aim an arrow, and I sure wasn't him.

"Damn you, you...you...crazy elf! Leaving me here with your body!" I cursed under my breath, for I didn't dare yell. Right then and there, I made up my mind. I had to tell someone. This was way past me, and we were about to enter Moria, in which there would be a battle where I was one of the key fighters. Life was unfair.

******

I carefully kneeled down, and fastened the little bit of leather that I normally used to hold my quiver to me around the flesh. I made sure it was just tight enough to stay on. Then I took my hand and shook at the shoulder of the sleeping figure.

"Meh..meh..bleah..." whimpered the hobbit in his sleep.

"Wake up," I hissed. "Shhh..it's me! Legolas!"

The hobbit began to stir and slowly opened his eyes to see my bright eyes staring at him intently through the darkness. "Wha...who? What time is it?" he muttered, rubbing at his cheeks.

"I need to talk to you, it's important," I said softly, then stood up and tugged at the leather.

Suddenly the hobbit was wide-awake and looked up at me with in a deer-in- the-headlight fashion. "Is the leash really necessary?" he said, noticing the leather I had fastened around his neck that was now pulling on him.

"It's in case..in case..in case what I have to say frightens you.." I muttered. "Now come on! And be quiet!" I said, jerking the leash and dragging the clueless hobbit with me into the same trees that I had practiced in.

I spun him around to face me and placed my hands on his shoulders with the leash still in my palm. "Frodo, please, you've got to listen to me, okay? I swear that all I have to say is utterly true. This is not a joke. Remember that for me, will you?"

Frodo gulped and sighed.

"Look, I know you don't like me and you think I'm corrupted by the ring and what not but listen, you don't know who I am. I don't really know who I am. But I want to tell you this, because I need to let someone know the circumstances," I said, rolling the words off my tongue, words that had long needed to be spoken.

"Why are you telling *me*...whatever you need to say? Why'd you have to wake me up?" Frodo said, scratching his head, making his fluffy hair all the more fluffy.

Puh. Hobbits...they only cared about eating and sleeping..wait, that sounds like me. Anyway, I rolled my eyes and said, "Perhaps because I needed someone sensitive, who would listen to me without thinking it was one of my 'great jokes' like the other hobbits or trying to kill me because I was being weird and annoying, like Mr. Manly Man over there..." I trailed off. This was off topic.

Frodo yawned and cracked his neck. He didn't give a shit. Figures.

"Ok, here we go," I said, clasping my hands together as if I was going to touch a very hard topic, well, because I was. "Frodo, there are many mysteries in the universe. Why we're living. Why we're put here in this world. Why there's peanut butter named after Peter Pan. But there's one that I can give you the answer to. Why I'm so strange. You see, I'm not Legolas. Well, I mean I am, but I'm not *the* Legolas. I'm in his body. I don't know where he is, or how I got here, or .."

Frodo was grimacing at me and was fumbling with the buckle on the leash, yet he seemed to be listening.

"I'm worried, because I don't know how to fight. I don't know if I can live if...when we go into battle or what would become of me in the other world if I did, but I'm scared. I don't know what to do, Frodo. Um..you believe me right?" I asked, noticing his wide eyes.

"Before, I thought it was just that you were crazy.." he began to say.

"But? What now?" I said, flashing him a weak, pleading smile.

"Now I think that you are UTTERLY INSANE!" he said, tearing off the leash and scampering back to the camp, leaving me alone in the darkness.

Failure. Not something I hadn't seen before, yet this one tasted the bitterest of my defeats. I had tried to share my dilemma and was only deemed a crackpot. I would have to face my problem alone now, I had no choice. I had been doing it before, but things had changed now that my life was on the line. Crap.

I sighed and made my way back to camp, and found that Frodo had already wrapped back up in his blanket and was breathing the quiet breath of sleep. I sat down and found my blanket, but before I lay down I took out my hairbrush. I always brushed Legolas's hair (since I had been in his body, of course) when I was stressed.

I slowly unbraided the three braids (the one on the top and the two little ones on the sides), and let the hair fall softly around my face. Then I ran my brush through the strands gently, not caring about grooming but just enjoying the silky feel of the golden locks.

Soon, my nerves were soothed, and I lay down on the blanket and peacefully waited for sleep.

******

I awoke the next morning to the low voices of the Fellowship discussing something in hushed tones. Eh, another ploy to leave me out of the decision making process, I thought. Don't wake the elf, nah, he doesn't know anything, just the entire script of the movie by heart. Nope, he wouldn't help.

Then I remembered that I had left my hair unbraided, and I started to reach my hands up to fix it, but I couldn't. Physically. Something was binding my hands together. I was lying on my stomach, so I craned my head around trying to see what was wrong. My hands were tied together with a strong rope. I tried to wriggle my hands free, but yelped as the rope was so tight it almost cut into my hands.

Suddenly, someone grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked my head up. I began to yell but a gag was quickly tied around my mouth. I tried to kick at whomever was standing over me but found my feet were already bound together too. I was a captive. I spun over unto my back, crushing my fingers under me, to see the face of Boromir wearing a rather large smirk. Holy shit, I thought, they're resorting to this.

I searched around with sad eyes at all the figures around me: the stern look of Aragorn, the troubled look of Gandalf, the frightened look of Frodo, the defensive look of Sam, the justified look of Gimli, and the helpless looks from Merry and Pippin. Then I closed my eyes and wished it would all go away that very instant.

I heard a few feet shuffling around, realizing that they were moving to pack up, and that I was no longer the focal point of the morning. I opened my eyes and sat up, pulling my legs under me. My head was bowed and my hair was in my face, but I lifted up my gaze as I felt the eyes of Merry and Pippin still on me.

They looked around to make sure that the others weren't watching, then crept over to me. Merry yanked off my gag, but put his finger to his lips, trying to tell me that if I stayed quiet they might not notice it was off. I was guessing that they weren't allowed to talk to me, but they braided my hair the way I usually had it to show me that they were sticking with me. They knew I wasn't crazy, no matter what Frodo said.

However, the others were easily convinced, as I supposed that's how I got into this situation. Frodo had told everyone that I was stark raving mad, a schitzo, perhaps, and I needed to be dealt with immediately. I suppose I had driven myself into this situation, but I never would have imagined it would lead to this.

Merry and Pippin left my side to pack their things, and I thanked them with my eyes as they turned to go. But a wave of depression soon hit me, and I lay down on my side, pulling my bound legs to my chest and trying my best not to move my tightly tied hands. I stayed there, breathing heavily through my nose with my teeth clenched. My eyes were closed tightly, as if that would block out the world around me. I would have given anything to make it do so.

TBC