Title: A Trip in Leggie's Shoes
Chapter 8: Legolas Wins!
Author: Audrey Ramirez
Contact: audreyramirez@aol.com
Rated: PG-13
Summary: What would happen if you got transported into the Lord of the Rings movie, it was real, and you were in Legolas's body....did I mention that you were utterly crazy too? Probably ruin his life...


*

Ten minutes later, a hand grabbed my shoulder and hauled me up. It was Boromir; he spun me around to face him. I found he had a smug look on his face.

"Unfortunately, Elf, we must untie your legs seeing as we shan't bother to carry you."

He bent down and untied my legs, and I gingerly lifted my feet away from the rope. As soon as he stood up though, my mind was made up. I didn't care what was going to happen, I was going to get away from the Fellowship. Now.

I turned aside quickly and found the hand once again slamming down on my shoulder and holding me rooted to the spot.

"And don't think you can get away from us, we aren't about to let a crazy elf run about and give away our position."

I curled up my lip, but this proved to be a mistake. Boromir seized my face in his other hand and held it firmly, pinching my hollow cheeks and making them throb with pain.

"Do you hear me, you ungrateful little prince? You will remain silent and obedient, and we will deal with you once we reach Moria. Is that understood?"

I closed my eyes as his grip tightened. I breathed heavily out of my nose. Perhaps I would have answered him, but I couldn't due to the fact that his hand was cutting off the air to my mouth.

Suddenly he released both my face and shoulder and I bowed my head down, letting fresh blood flow back to my poor cheeks. My Elven senses felt eyes upon me, and I looked up to see the rest of the company standing in single file in front of me.

"Let us...move on," sighed Gandalf. Boromir struck my back hard, and I fell heavily forward, barely able to catch my footing. I look back angrily.

"Move," he commanded, returning the glare.

I whipped back around and walked forward, with Aragorn tromping in front of me. We soon passed out of the small patch of trees near which we made camp, and came to a rocky path, which would soon lead us to the cliffs of Moria.

******

We had not traveled more than two hours when my heart could not take this humility any longer. I dropped onto my knees on the ground, my wrists raw from rubbing on the ropes.

"Move, you stubborn elf!" cried Boromir, slapping my face hard. I left my head turned to the side where he had hit it, and a single tear ran down Legolas's reddened cheek. If only I could have seen what I looked like at the moment, I would have cried if I hadn't already been doing so. The tear continued to run down until it fell silently onto the dirt.

Aragorn must have seen this, for he came over sternly. "Boromir," Aragorn said in a firm voice. Boromir gave him a look that awaited his commands of how to dispose of me. But Aragorn said no such thing. "Release him."

Boromir drew his eyebrows together, gave me a hateful look, then tromped away to join the company without looking back.

Aragorn knelt down on one knee in front of me. "I do not believe that you are crazy, but I know there is more to you than it seems. Say nothing now, we will discuss this later tonight. I ask that you compose yourself for the time being. But I expect you to tell me everything in the later hours. No elf cries without reason, and I know what I have seen is not reason enough." With that, he stood up and walked to the other side of me. He untied my hands, and as soon as they were free I clutched them close to my chest, as if the fires of pain could be put out that way. Aragorn walked forward, then looked back at me. I looked up at him in disbelief. Then he turned and walked after Boromir.

I slowly rose to follow. I was overwhelmed with thoughts: the unusual behavior of Aragorn towards me, the abuse of Boromir, how I could make Aragorn believe what Frodo didn't, and the dreaded thought of Moria drawing ever near. I swallowed hard as I stepped forwards on the rocky path. I was in deep shit.

******

That night, the night before we arrived at Moria, we were camped a few miles away from the cliffs. As Sam stayed up to keep watch and the others fell asleep, Aragorn grabbed me by the arm and pulled me away from the company to a small space behind some boulders. We sat down on the ground, and he gave a gesture silently commanding me to explain. I took a deep breath and held it in with a big smile on my face, but when he stared unblinkingly back at me, my face fell and I let the breath out slowly through my nose.

"Okay, okay. I'm not Legolas, I'm having an out of body experience, and I'm really a female from an alternate dimension who wished to come to Middle Earth and accidentally ended up in this beautiful elf body in this accursed situation," I said in one breath, rather annoyed. Then I hunched over and clamped my mouth shut, giving Aragorn a look that said 'Are we done?'

Aragorn sighed and stared tranquilly back at me. The wind tugged at my hair a bit. Aragorn stared. I scratched my neck. Aragorn stared. I raised an eyebrow. Aragorn stared.

"Yeah, and anyway I was hoping I could get out of this situation but unfortunately I can't until the movie's over and you can't help me either cause you have no idea what a movie is and have no idea that you're really someone named Viggo and I'm really named Orlando except not cause I'm not Orlando, I'm some freak from Texas who needs to get over herself and her obsession with him but I suppose that's how I ended up like this, me being stupid and wishing I could be here with him and then get the wrong end of the deal cause you have no idea what it's like loving a mirror and not something physically alive and dude, stop staring at me cause you're really starting to scare me," I said, drawing back a bit with my hand pulled close to me.

"That's fairly, interesting. I suppose I couldn't believe you except for the fact that an elf like you is so incredibly ludicrous that it must be at least half way true. Legolas, you may be out of you're mind." Aragorn said, touching my knee.

"Uh, well he is out of his mind, yes, and I don't know where he is, actually, but I'm not Legolas. But you can call me that. They used to call me that even when I wasn't him. Go figure. Anyway, I know the entirety of this journey because I don't want to tell you this, but you're living a lie. Well, maybe not, since this is sort of some weird movie universe, but back where I lived, I have watched this over and over and over. I know everything that will be said at certain times, at least in the parts that were, shall we say, "documented." Eh, never mind. The point is, I'm not him, but I can be of help to you."

"You're positive about this, not another joke?"

"Oh, actually, yes, it is a joke." I wasn't about to pull another stupid. And besides, it would spoil my fun. Heh, what a goober!

"Legolas! We're getting nowhere!"

"Did you even catch any of what I said before?"

"Not really."

"Good. Get your hand of my leg."

"Sorry."

"Okay, the real reason is.." I at least had to tell a half-truth. "I'm scared about dying, Aragorn. I can't defend myself! I can't shoot an arrow...that's all there is too it. And I know that by the time we reach Moria, it will be vital that I use it. Can you like train me or something?"

"Uh, you're supposed to be one of the best archers in Mirkwood."

"Yes! Yes! I know that! But pretend for a minute you don't know that! Can I show you and can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?"

"Whatever, Legolas."

I stood up, took out my bow, and drew an arrow. I looked around for a target, but there wasn't much around to hit in the spanse of rocks. Finally, I settled on the first tree in sight, which was actually far, far away from us. I released my arrow, and it gracefully jumped out of the bowstring and plopped at my feet.

"Go me!" I said in a really high-pitched voice. "See?????"

Aragorn stared at me in awe. "You..you forgot!?"

"YES! OKAY!? I forgot how to shoot a frickin' arrow!"

"No! No! Not that! Legolas, you must have been through some head trauma!"

"Wait, what? What's your point?" I said, lowering my bow.

"You're right handed!" he said, saying it as if it was the most obvious statement in the world.

"Oh! Oh heh heh heh..." I said pathetically. I pulled out another arrow and fit it to my bow using my right hand, not something I was used to. I drew it back carefully, then let it fly. It whizzed past us and hit the far tree in the direct center, perfectly set into it.

"I win!" I cried happily.

"You still afraid of dying?"

"Nah, I'm good," I said, putting my bow back in. How could I have not figure out I was right handed!? I had even drawn a picture! But then I realized that my drawing had been driven by emotions, and I seriously wouldn't have known or cared which hand I had been using. However when it came to learning a new skill which required hand eye coordination, I naturally used my left.

Aragorn started to leave. "Wait!" I said in a halted whisper. He turned and awaited what I had to say. "Suppose if I didn't bother you specifically anymore, do you think I could, ya know, act like I used to?"

"Um, whatever you want..." sighed Aragorn. Whether he meant it or not, I didn't care. This was direct permission for me to misbehave.

"Yes!" I cried, pulling my fist to my side in victory. In the morning, Boromir would pay for his insolence. Ohhhhhhhh yes.

TBC