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| (The lights in the arena go out as the TWW-Trin flickers on. As the cameras focus on the screen, they pick up the hundreds in attendance for this very special TWW house show. Quite a few of them are holding up signs which mention their favoutie stars and a few if them are in t-shirts of the stars. As the camera pans around it notices one boy in particular, holding up a cardboard guitar with the word "Suicide" written all over it. Then the camera focuses completely on the screen as it starts to flicker in black and white. Just then it comes pn in colour. Green. All green. With a few white lines. As the camera’s begin to lift up more becomes seen. A few people in blue shirts all dotted around. A small white round object. At further notice it turns out to be a ball. Then, as the camera starts to focus on the people it soon bcomes clear what this is. A game of soccer. Upon further inspection you can pick out what the team is. Portsmouth Football Club. Pompey. As their players continue to run about the scene the camera focuses on one player in particular. Seeing the cameramen the man-wearing a pair of dark blue denim jean shorts and a Pompey shirt, as well as a pair of shades, with short black and white striped hair-turns to speak. He walks off the pitch to the sidelines as another player runs on. It is then clear who the man is. It is the figure of TWW superstar Suicide.) Suicide:Good to see that you decided to pick up my charity game of soccer. As you can see, I’m playing alongside the greatest team in the world-Pompey. That’s right, the blue attack is back, and now they’ve got a player about as Suicidal as Kerry Von Erich. And more so. But I’ve got to explain a few things to you. Ya see, my opponents are actually quite good. So good in fact, that they’re losing 10-6! Even with Eric Cantona on their team. That’s right. Cantona is here, and he’s acually the one that scored 5 of their goals. The other one was scored by a very, very lucky Scrapio, you know the one. Former EWA superstar-jobber of all jobbers? Once went by the name of Rocky. Lost sooooo many matches to me that I couldn’t even count them for my web site. Oh yeah, speaking of which, why don’t you all go down to http://ewaminors.homestead.com and check out all the latest on your favourite TWW star-yours truly, me! Bu any way. The other "stars" on their team include failed wrestling wannabes the Dominator and Eliminator. Oh yeah, not to mention my own good buddy Steven Giantiz. Then there’s a few players from Southampton as well that we brought in. Needless to say-they’re all crap. Except for Cantona and Giantiz of course. Scrapio, the Condomeater and the Eggymator are all losing almost as bad as they did in their wrestling careers. But I need to take the time right now to talk about Monday Night when I am in the very first show. Oh yeah, not to mention the very first main event. And I’ll give Swift something. I mean, sure, he was stupid enough to hire Scorpio in the EWA but he’s been clever enough to stick me in the ring with two very good superstars. So, remember, when I go out there and beat their asses, even if I do lose-which I won’t-then I respect those good for nothing b****rds, but I don’t like them, and the basic message is-I ain’t gonna hold nothin’ back. I’m gonna be more suicidal then ever and nobody ain’t gonna stop me. Oh yeah, and Snack Eyes, Josh Vendetta, you better be careful boys. I realize you two have a history, aso actually, come to think about it-I might just let you two take each other part and rip each other to shreds, then pin you both when it’s all said and done. And then I’d have my hand raised in victory, which by the way, just for the record, is something that Scraps has not had much experience with. Nor has he had any success with the word success, or, for that matter, he hasn’t had much experience with any words really has he? Oh, except for failure. It’s hard not for him to know about that word. It’s stamped all over him! So anyway, I’ve gotta go. We’re startin’ to loe, and.....OH MY GOD! It’s freakin’ amazin’. They just scored! Mind you, I scored a long time ago. I scored with Steph, who by the way is just out shoppin’. Man, I wish she could see my final goal of the.....f**k me! We’ve only got twenty two seconds left! (With that he runs onto the pitch and pushes one of his teamates to the sidelines. He sees the ball. Sorpio has it in his possesion. As he runs over to his old buddy, picking up speed on the way he knocks Scraps flying. As the former EWA jobber tries to gain his concionce Suicide grabs the ball, and starts heading towards his own goal. When he gets there he starts to knock down all the Southampton players before kicking the ball-all the way across the pitch-for a goal! 11-7 is the way it ends as the ref blows the whistle for full time, just as Suicide kicks Eric Cantona in the stomach and delivers a DDT. He then climbs to the top of thr goalpost and delivers the UIce Cool onto the former Man. U player. Suicide:That’s what you get punk when you play for Man U’ F’ing ‘Nited. Now that shoudl ensure you don’t come out of retirement again. Hope the little wheelchair stricken kiddies enjoyed me kicikng their football hero’s ass. I’d do it again for free any time. Speakin’ of which-where’s my cash? |
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