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| "The following is brought to you by Tidal Wave Wrestling." The scene starts with a shot of a beautiful building overlooking a quiet pond… The scene cuts to inside the building, traveling down a long, richly decorated hall. Several closed doors are passed by, as if the camera has a specific destination. About three quarters of the way down this hall, the camera stops in front of a door. The camera zooms in on the nameplate: Loki The Trickster. A knock on the door, a muffled "Enter!", and the door is opened. Loki The Trickster is sitting behind a mammoth oaken desk. Hundreds and hundreds of letters cover the desktop completely and overflow onto the office floor. Loki looks comfortable in his Pop Will Eat Itself t-shirt and blue jeans cutoffs. Stacks of opened letters sit directly in front of him. Loki finished reading the letter in his hand, smiles winningly, and looks into the camera. Loki The Trickster: Greetings and salutations, my friends! I am just trying to catch up on my fan mail here. I have been away from Valhalla for a while, and the mail really seems to accumulate when unanswered on a regular basis. I receive literally hundreds of letters a week from fans all over the country and the world, and for the most part, all of them are full of words of encouragement and thanks. For example: To the first Cruiserweight Champion in the history of the WWF, Loki The Trickster, Oops, I guess some of this mail is EXTREMELY out of date! Let me see if I can find a more recent letter…Ah, one from a fan in Nevada: "Hey Loki...S'up, S'up, S'up!!!! Goin' up against Snake Eyes, huh? HAH!! The only question is how he hopes to survive. Time for The Trickster to turn up the heat, eh? He'd best be wearing his sun block 'cause you're gonna cook that little bitch. He's gonna be "flaming" so to speak. Hey maybe that's his secret. SET HIS CLOSET ON FIRE, BRO!! ...And watch out for his "rear mount". I hear it's an ugly move. Shine on brother, Vegas Vato" And here's one from a female fan: "Dear Loki The Trickster: I've been a fan of yours since the get-go. You're the best. That part-time sucka who calls himself Snake Eyes stands no chance. He's a no talent bum with the fan appeal of a blind referee. I can't wait for the match, however I can foresee the results: LOKI WINS...AGAIN! All my love, Victoria" This one's short and to the point: "That Loki is the man!! I cant wait to see hiom pout the smack down on that sap the Enigma. What the hell is he puzzled about anyway?? How he's gonna get his butt kicked??" Hmmm, some of these seem to be a few months too late. Let me see if I can… Another one about the WWF… Who the hell is Rico Suave?… Ah, here is a nice letter from a female perspective: Dear Loki: I am the anomaly -- a chick wrestling fan. No, I'm not a fan of female wrestling, just a girl who knows a champion when she sees one. Your moves and raw power punish opponents every time you step into the ring. I've seen you reduce opponents to pulpy broken masses and every time you do it with a grace and ease that brings the sport of wrestling to an almost spiritual level. If wrestling is my church, then Loki The Trickster is my diety. As for Snake Eyes.........he must be using his wrestling skills as some form of birth control. Not one chick I know thinks he is anything but an overgrown, under-muscled, thick-as-a-brick wannabe who embarasses himself every time he steps up to an opponent. Can't wait to see the matchup -- LOKI THE TRICKSTER WILL CRUSH SNAKE EYES AND SHAWN WALSH. And let me just share one more letter with you, from a fan who writes: Dear Loki, I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming to visit me when I was in the Hospital. It was YOU that gave me the strength to fight back from that terrible accident I had with that boat anchor. You are the reason that I am alive today, and it is because of you that I finnaly found the courage to finnally talk to a girl and get a date. I hope that chump that you are fighting knows that you are going to put a Ragnarok on his ass and his career is going to be over. You are the almighty one of the sky, you're the best. Your biggest fan, Tim I believe the fans have spoken. I shall see you in the ring! Loki The Trickster smiles for the camera, and then plunges back into the myriad piles of unanswered mail. The camera backs out of the room slowly, leaving The Trickster to his task. The office door closes, and the scene fades to black. |
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