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| [Hello. Remember this guy? Remember him? Yea, he's the cockiest sunnuva bitch you've ever seen, but today, you're gonna see Shawn in different role. Well, first let's clear where has Shawn been lately. Only a few people know it, but after Shawn was almost seriously injured on Lightning he decided to drink his problems away, cause he had a problem. A drinking problem. He was seeking help in rehabilitation center and now, he claims he's cured. The word i'd like to emphasise here is claims. But what was the reason? Well, Shawn had a long history with alcohol, but he never got in too deep. So, when the match night for Lightning came around, Shawn was so drunk he could barely stand. Thanx to caffeine and shit like that, TWW Medical team got him ready for his match. Don't get me wrong, folks, this is the first time Shawn came drunk to an event... but it was also the first time when he could barely stand. So, Martin Swift demanded Shawn goes to rehabilitation center... was it a success? We're about to see..] [Scene opens as camera enters some local 7-11. We go through glass doors and pan around. Fat cashier, who obviously never heard of a "weight loss program", some crack whore with pierced nose at the cashier paying for pack of condoms and smokes. As we walk on, we see two ladies that are marking the prices.. and may i say nice looking ladies. We walk around the corner as we see Shawn standing infront of the shelf with alcoholic beverages. He is wearing sun glasses, although it's almost midnight, a black trenchcoat, blue jeans underneath and combat boots. He looks suspicious as he's turning his head left and right, as if he was checking if anybody is watching him. Since he's sure nobody sees him, he quickly takes a vodka off the shelf and puts it in the trenchcoat. After that, he walks over to the shelf with sweets as he takes a chocolatte and walks over to the cashier counter...] [Cashier] Anything else? [The LP Shawn Chase] No thank you. [Cashier] Ok, that will be a dollar and a half... [the LP] That's a blatant rip-off lady. [Cashier] Hey, i don't set the prices. I just collect... [the LP] Collect what? Pork chops? HAHAHA.. i kill myself... [Cashier] Was that a fat joke? [the LP] And you have to ask? Ahahaha... [Cashier] Listen to me you skinny... skinny... mullet.. [the LP] What bitch? You called me a mullet? Listen, i'm not your daddy, ya know... [Cashier] You got the nerves to come here and talk to me like that... [the LP] Why? Are you hungry? Are you gona bite my head off? [Cashier] That's it, if you don't get outta here, i'm gonna have to get up... [the lp] And do what? Cause an earthquake? [Cashier] You little... [Woman gets up as Shawn lighty runs out, waving goodbye..] [the LP] Goodbye m'am.. i'm charmed... haha... [If you thought the fat ass cashier lady will catch him, you need to stop smelling your socks for christ's sake. But we can.. we follow Shawn as he runs into a dark street. He takes out the vodka from the trenchcoat and starts drinking. He almost trips over some bum, who's trying to catch his beauty sleep] [the LP] What the... who are you? Box? [Bum] Hey, no need to call me names, just because i live in a box... [the LP] Uh, i thought you were Johny Box... [Bum] No, my name is John ... John Silver.. i'm a 'nam veteran... I saw my friends get killed there... when i came back, nobody would hire me, so i ended up here [sniff] .. it's not that bad... they dump thrash every day and you won't believe what people throw away.. for example, see this shirt.. some guy has thrown it away, cause it had a stain.. heh, i don't get it... [the LP] Ok, excuse me, but who do you think i am? Red Cross? Do i give a fuck if you were a war veteran? NO! For all I know you could've lied about everything.. let me tell you who i think you are... you are a petafile, who raped his daughter, so you got arrested and now you managed to break out of jail.... [Bum] What? [the LP] Uh, sorry, i forgot your name is not John Vandetta... got carried away with initials here. [Bum] Well, in sign of appology, will you share some booze with me... [the LP] Hell NO! Who knows what you've been eating or what you've been kissing. I don't wanna develop rat herpees or whatever diseases you carry. Go, shoot yourself... [Bum] You're not very nice... you know i could cripple you right now, with my strong grip... [the LP] Oh, there you go talking like John Vandetta now. You sure you don't know him? Leave me alone, go find a dog to rape or something... [Shawn walks away as bum starts yelling something. Scene slowly fades] MEANWHILE [We cut back to the store, where you can see fat ass clerk talking to two men, dressed all in black... you know, ala man in black, but not quite.] [Cashier] Well and then i realized that Vodka is missing... and that is the case for russian intelligence, right? [Agent 1] You zamn right woman. Ze will catchz zim... [Cashier] I hope you do. A crook like that can't be walking on the street. He deserves to be locked up with the rest of Vodka stealers, sentanced to death penalty... [Agent 2] Zwe are zglad zou zundersztand the zseriousness of ze situation... Vodka sztealers should zdie a szlow zeeery painfull zdeath... [Agent 1] Zea... ze murderers and petafiles zare zzzzznothing compared to VODKA SZTEALERS! [Agent 2] Zou got zany other zinformation zhat would zhelp us? [Cashier] Well... he had long blonde hair, dark shades and a trenchcoat... that's all i know... [The agents look at each other in disbelief, as if they have just seen a ghost... both scream at the same time] [Both Agents] JOHN VZANDETTA!!!! [Cashier] Who? [Agent 1] A zwell known vodka sztealer... ze American Antichrist... [Cashier] Oh, well, when you catch this John Vnadetta, bring him here, cuz i'm gonna slap the taste out of his mouth... who does he think he is, stealing VODKA from my store and making fun of me at the register... [Agent 2] Zwat do you mean? [Cashier] He made some wise ass jokes at my body weight expense, when he payed for chocolatte bar... [Agent 1] Zawd zammit! [Cashier] It's pronounced "GOD DAMMIT"..what wrong? [Agent 1] If zhe was zmaking fun of zou, then it zcouldn't be John Vzandetta... [Cashier] Uh.. why not! [Agent 2] Zcuz John Vzandetta iz the moszt zboring zman alive... [Agent 1] Vzandetta couldn't szee a zjoke if itz hit him in ze face and ztattooed "Joke" zon hizs forehead... [Cashier] So, if it isn't John Vandetta... who else could it be? [Agent 1] Ze have zno zidea... [Cashier] Well, if it helps, he went down THAT street... [Agent 1] Zalright.. zthank zou... let's go Grigorij... [Agent 2] Zalright Sergeij... [The agents walk out and towards the street as scene fades] BACK TO SHAWN [Scene opens again, with Shawn sitting on a dumpster, drinking vodka and talking to himself] [the lp] Haha people are sooo stupid. So trusty, but when will they learn that trusting me is like playing with explosive? It's bound to go off, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday for sure. Jake West didn't realize that. He was this trustly lamb, who needed a leader. He needed somebody to pull him out of his casual life and put him on his way to stardom. Too bad for him, i got sick of carrying his ass every damn match we fough. What is he without me? Well, he's something like Monica Lewinsky without Bill Clinton... although that is a bad comparison, since i didn't want or get a head from him, but you know what i mean. If there wasn't Bill, we would never hear about Monica, right? She would be just one of those people who are struggling to live their life, with a dark though that they will never be more than an average citizen. But when to opportunity knocks, you have to answer the door. Monica did, by sucking Bill's dick... Jake West did, by jumping on our bandwagon... bandwagon called Rated-Y. Jake, yea, he was some 420 World Champion or something... but whatever... when you think, if 420 was still around, it would be TWW's playground. So, how can ex-420 World Champ compare with the LIVING PROOF? Can't. Jake, Mark did what was best for him and his career... i mean, what would you do? He was hyped as he came to TWW, but he couldn't live up to his reputation from 420... until I took him under my wing, he was a nobody... Now, if Mark was quiet, he wouls save himself from an ass whopping he's gonna recieve this monday... but nooo... Jake had to interrupt ME! Can you imagine? He came to me and then... he decked me with that stinky cane? That was his fatal mistake. You know i'm not really into that cane... since i get to kick Jake's ass at Omega, and if Jake asked me politely, i might have given it to him.. no wait.. fat chance about that.... but still when he decked me, he singlehandedly signed his death certificate. So, Jake, are you scared now? Do you realize the consequences? If i take your ignorance and stupidity in the picture i'd have to go with no... you're probably come out at house show or something and say how ... uh.. i can't beat you, how TWW is holding you down... but Jake, a fuckin crane couldn't lift you up. I hope you know what i'm talking about... but the though of you knowing something would be a far fetched sci-fi. Mark, just remember, ... who is... THE SENSATION SWEEPING THE NATION, THE OBJECT OF YOUR BITCHES MASTURBATION? You? Nope.. last time i checked, pigs can't fly. So that would only leave me. See ya on tuesday... beotch.. [Shawn takes the last sip of Vodka. As he swallows... just like your mom did yesterday, he puts the bottle on the dumpster and walks into the night....scene fades] MEANWHILE [Scene opens as Russian intelligence agents arrive to the bum's box we've seen earlier. Sergeij and Grigorij stop to ask him some questions. But, looks like our friend is busy. Obviously he took Shawn's words for sacret as we see a mutt running away from his box, making weird noises.. don't even imagine. ] [Sergeij] Hello mizster... [Bum zipps up his pants and looks out] [Bum] What? Do we have aliens? [Gregorij] Uh? [Bum] Nevermind...what do you want... [Gregorij] Zwell.. we are zinvesztigating ze case of ZE MISSING VODKA! [Bum] OH MY GOD! A VODKA WAS STOLEN? WHEN? WHERE? Uh.. i have aliby... [Sergeij] Zwe zon't tink zou did it... [Gregorij] Zno.. zwe have ze suspect... [Bum] Oh yea? Who? [Sergeij] Zwell..ok, zwe ton't have hisz name, but zwe have a description... [Bum] Wait a second? Was it a blond guy, in trenchcoat? [Sergeij] ZEA, ZEA.. [Bum] Really cocky attitude? [Gregorij] Uh, zno.. zhat guy zwas zmaking fun out of ze people... [Sergeij] Zwell, thanx for zour effort.. [Bum] But this guy had Vodka bottle in his hand... you damn Russians.. don't you know people can be funny and cocky? [Sergeij] Zey can? Zamn Grigorij, you znew that? [Gregorij] Zno.. but if we zdid.. zhaz alledged serial killer zwouldn't have zwalked... [Sergeij] Zamn... but oh well.. ze Vodka case is ze most important... [Bum] Yea ok, Mojo and Bojo... you want anything else? He want that-a way..no go chase him... i wanna be alone now..... since you scared my company away.....uh.. [Gregorij] Zalright.... we zhank you for zour cooperation... [Bum] Whatever,... [Scene fades as the agents walk down the street. A few minutes later, they come to the dumpster, where the empty Vodka bottle is] [Gregorij] OH MY GORBACHOV, JELCIN and PUTIN! He zrank ze vodka... [Sergeij] Zthis is a travesty...Let's take ze bottle, and ztake it to the lab for ze finger printzs... [Sergeij cerfully puts the bottle in evidence bag as scene fades to black] ...TO BE CONTINUED... |
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