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| (The lights in the arena go out as Some Girls Do by Sawyer Brown begins to play over the PA system. From the back, in this special house show before Shockwave, comes a very familiar, dark figure, dressed in his usual dark blue denim jeans, "Good Ol’ Country Boyz" shirt, cowboy hat and boots and shades. Next to him is the figure of 33 year old man, dressed in a busniess suit and boots, with shades and a cowboy hat, with a guitar in his hand. There is another figure with them. A beatiful young girl, blonde, wearing a red skirt and TWW top, with woboy boots and hat. As the camera zooms in, it realises the figures are Suicide, J.J and Stephanie. In the ring is another ever familiar figure, dressed in a white top with black jogging bottoms and black and white trainers, as well as some shades and a baseball cap, he is the man who has been trying to drive a wedge between Suicide and Stephanie for a couple of weeks now-David. As David looks on in anger, Stephanie tries to calm down Suicide, as J.J gets ready to strike at any moment necessary with the guitar.) Suicide:David, you better be ready you stupid little retard. I came here, being told that I had mic time, when all of a sudden you pop up and make an appearnace. Look, I’m willing to settle this once and for all. Me and you-fight to the finish. Or, alternatively, we could settle things the right way, and settle them your way-or, more to the cas-Steph’s way. David:You’re damn well on. I’m ready to fight you man-o to man-o, with Stephanie as the prize. Suicide:Woah, hold it right there. I’ll put anything on the line, but not my true love. I’ve got my two EWA Title belts backstage, and I’ll be willing to defend them right now. But I will not defend Stephanie. Besides, this isn’t a game. Or is that what se is to you? A toy that you play with at night and dump in the day for yor mates to play with her? Mind you, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was happeneing too. (After hearing that Stephanie turns around and slaps Suicide across the face. Hard. As Suicide staggers, David runs up, grabd the guitar off J.J and throws it down. He pushes J.J over, and goes over to Stephanie. As he looks into her eyes, she slaps him too. As both men stagger back, Suicide stands next to Dabid, and gets ready to strike. As he raises a fist he quickly pulls it back as he realises he’s about to his Steph. David backs off too, and when Suicide turns to him, he quickly puts his hands up to stop him.) David:Look man, you’re right. I do want to settle things my way. And my way means no way. I’m not fighting. I just want to sit down and have a nice, cold drink. Then maybe watch the Yankee’s get their asses kicked at their own game. J.J:We’re in New York you t**t. David:I know. I’m just saying that they’re crap at what they do, that’s all. Come on, let’s face it-can the new York Jets even interject a pass? Suicide:You really do have no knowledge of Football do you David? David:I’ve watched it a few times, but I thought you liked the Tennesse Titans? Suicide:I do like the Titans, but unforunately for you, I also like the Jets. Now stop tryin’ to squirm into my good books, and go buy me that cold pint you were promising. Stephanie:Stop argueing you two. I’ve had enough. Suicide:I beg your pardon? We were actually behaving quite nicely Miss. So, what classes have we got today? David:Man, you’re funny. Suicide:No I’m not. I was just doin’ an impression of you. Oh yeah, before you buy me a pint, I need to talk to my millions..........and millions of the Rock’s fans. Nah, only kiddin’. After all, the Rock don’t have as many fans as me. If I were to copy the Rock, I reckon it’d go along these lines...Finally, the Rock has come back............to.........where the hell are we? Well, whereever this dump is, this is a message to the billions.......and the billions.....of the Suicide Kid’s fans......Oops, wrong name. Now, the Rock says........Just bring it. Ohg, and stop nicking my catchphrases you rip off. Man, I was using the word jabroni, and whatever else you use, plus, I was using the phrase "Just Bring It" right before you were. Sometime this afternoon I think I started. Oh yeah, and WWF, if you need help, then just come to me. Here’s an idea. It goes like this. Kurt has a "Stuff Steph" session, see’s the celibacy, turns cool, and once again I get no credit for it. Oh yeah, and here’s a wuick one, before I get all serious. Manarco International owns three farms. They raise oranges in sunny Florida and potatoes in chilly Maine. So, genius, what do they raise in Sussex, England? Some of you proud English men might know. The answer is-umberrella’s! David:Suicide, you just insulted my home town. Suicide:Number one-I don’t give a damn, number two-it’s a county, not a town, and number three-why shouldn’t I when you’re insulting the beatiful United States of Ambrosia? Um, America. Anyways, time to get serious. EOE, Epitome of Extinction, here’s a little poem I made earlier. It goes like this. Roses are red, my flowers are dead, a cow go’s moo and so are you! Hey, nobody ever said it had to be decent to be on the air, did they? Anyways, I realllllllly, need to say something poetic. EOE-your ass is mine. There you go. Hope that damn Literacy tutor was pleased. You know the one. Shows up on children’s TV. Lives in Boston, Mass so big it hardly fits on the planet. Oh yeah, by the way. This is the last interview you will be seeing under the name and monicker of Suicide. From now on, I’m going old school, and I’m gonna start playing cards every afternoon. You know, like those two kids in the TWW. What are there names? Martha Wellington three thousand, four hundred and sixty three? And who was the other one? Charles Dickens? Yeah, that’s them. Oh yeah, I was kiddin’ about the old school crap. If you’ve taped this, please edit that bit out. I didn’t say it. The powers that are just behind the curtain taping this told me to do it. Next up, Hot S**t Jack Vandotto. I got your ass covered punk, and I hope you got it insured. You should watch you back in future, Mr Hitman. I seen your little hit list, and I also seen your services. And I don’t like what I see, so I’m gonna debug you, and send you packin’. Oh, and well done on the RWA Rookie Award-cos’ it’s exactly what you are. I’m not a rookie-despite only being 19 years old. I mean, I’m the former-and still am-EWA Cruiserweight and Tag champs. Oh, and if you didn’t see how I lost the belts, well, to put it quite simply so you understand-I didn’t. The EWA closed, and I’m still champ. And that’s why I came here, to Tidal Wave Wrestling. To gain a vengeance, and capture those titles again. But this time I’ve decided that I’m gonna go for the World Heavyweight title. But hey, I ain’t asking for nothing, so Swift. If you don’t gove me a shot, then that’s fine with me. I take what’s given to me, and when Vendetta’s given to me, I spit right back in his face. And Jack. You deserved my Jerk of the Month award, cos’ it’s just what you are. You claim to be the Hot Shot, just brush off opponents, well I ain’t gonna put up with that. The men in the TWW deserve respect. J.J: Then why doesn’t Jack? Suicide:J.J-I said men. People like Snack Eyes, Carx, Shawn Chase and, well that’s it-EOE certainly don’t deserve it. Hey, hold on a mo, those guys are all my opponents on Tuesday. Damn. I guess my respect will just be brushed off, cos’ I’m comin’ right your way. Oh yeah, and if ypu haven’t already, don’t forget to read my official TWW publication Suicidal Thoughts. It’s where you find my personal view on the superstars here, and, well, I must admit. Snack Eyes-you took first in my top five. Well done punk. But tommorow, I don’t know about five, but you sure will be knocked for six. Now, all I ask is respect. And money. And that beer you promised me David. Go buy it now. David: Will do. Stephanie: Good to see that you two have decided to make up and be friends. Suicide: I never said I was a mate. I just said he owed me a pint, and that’s good enough. J.J:Well, I’ve got a business meeting this afternoon, so I better get going. And Steph, you need to come too. After all, it is a surprise for your boyfriend. David:I can’t wait When willl I, um-I mean Shawny get it? Stephanie:Maybe Friday night, if you’re a good boy. Suicide:Oh yeas Miss. Anything for you. But, will I be able to have some syrup on it? Stephanie:It isn’t food. Suicide:I know. *Woof* David:Shawny, you want that pint? (With that Suicide and co. all leave and head backstage, as Suicide and David head off one way and Stephanie and J.J head off the other. Always give credit to Suicide and Tidal Wave Wrestling when using this news. |
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