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| [As impossible as it may seem, Shawn and Ari won the Tag Titles from John Vandetta and his..shadow? Face it, Vandetta just wasn't good enough for your Sensation. But now, aproaching quickly, is the next TWW Shockwave, where Shawn gets to duke it out with 6 other men for a shot at the TWW Title. Heh, EOE thinks how big and bad he is, that he has held titles... but he has to remember that Shawn's been there... he has done that. And where is he now? Fighitng for that title again? People would think he'd move on by now. But if he had to teach EOE a lesson, then i guess we'll be happy to watch it, right? After all.. EOE is main eventing next show. Speaking of next show, Shawn is main eventing too!!!!! Ok, ok, there's also the revenge factor, but wouldn't it be a lot sweeter revenged if.... ah, nevermind. TWW has the PPV to book and they wouldn't like to make changes... ya know. Enough... however, there is third person thrown in this non title match....Suicide Now why is Suicide in this match? To be pinned? Or to help Porx pin Shawn? All the questions will be answered on Tuesday....] [Scene opens in a stinky hotel room, in the heart of god knows where. You can see Shawn sitting behind a squared table, getting ready to eat his breakfast. He's get up to take a butter knife out of the drawer as you can see he's wearing a white common t-shirt and boxershorts. He takes a glass, a bowl, pack of cornflakes and puts everything on the table. As he is about to sit down, a young girl walks in the scene.... She looks really young. She's not wearing any pants nor can you see her panties because of the long football jersey she's wearing. Her hair is a bit messy after obviously rough night. She can barely keep her eyes open as she walks over to Shawn and gives him a big wet kiss on lips... you know, kinda what your dog kisses you before you go to bed...She sits next to Shawn] [girl] Oh Shawn it was awesome last night... 7 times? I never imagined.. [the LP] Yea, yea, i know, i'm great. Can you get your ass up now and get me milk from the fridge... [Girl] Hey i'm not your maid... [the LP] Oh, sorry... i usually sleep with my maids,... can you please get me milk from the fridge.... [Girl walks over to the fridge and gets out the milk carton... ] [Girl] How could you forget to take the milk with corn flakes... [the LP] Well, maybe that just ain't the only thing on my mind, ok? [Girl] Cranky a bit, aren't we? [the LP] Well, you'd be too if you had a non title match on Tuesday. I don't get it... i made Vandetta my bitch so many times before, but at the end he somehow manages to get away with cheating... and yet i'm not worthy of a shot? I don't understand... [Shawn pours the milk as he stares in the milk carton. His eyes pop out as he reads out loud] [the LP] "WANTED! A vodka stealer Shawn Chase is still out there. If you have any information regarding his wherebouts, contact the russian intelligence" ...what the hell? And it has my picture... [Girl] Oh my god! You're a criminal. I had sex with criminal... wow, wait until girls at my school hear that.... [the LP] School? What school? You never mentioned a school... [Girl] High school.... [the LP] WHAT? How old are you if you go to high school? [Girl] I'm 17.... [the LP] OH FUCK! AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT INFORMATION WAS IMPORTANT BEFORE WE DID IT? [Girl] Well, it was important, but if you knew we'd never do it... [the LP] Exactly... now i'm not only a Vodka stealer...but i'm also a petafile... life is just great.... [Girl] But hey, vodka stealer's charge are far more serious than being a petafile. Yea, petafile is bad...but vodka stealer... what were you thinking? [the LP] I wasn't...i just wanted to get drunk.... next time i'm gonna get high instead... have any glue? [Girl] No.. but i have sillicon? [the LP] Sillicon? You mean they're not real....eeeewwwwww.... [Girl] What's wrong? [the LP] Is there anything else you forgot to tell me... [Girl] Well, i never did HIV tests... [the LP] You know what? Do me a favor and shut your mouth, aight? [Girl] Well, i would, but i can't. I just recently got my lips enlarged too, so doctor told me that i should not close my mouth for like a week... [the LP] Those aren't real either? DAMMIT! What about your nails? [Girl] [pulls off a nail] Nope... they're fake... [the LP] Hair? [Girl] [pulls her toupe off] Nope... fake too... [the LP] Oh my god... is there anything real about you? Are you a woman? [Girl] Of course.. a young woman.... but... i don't have a uterus... [the LP] Huh... how come? [Girl] Cuz i was a boy till the age of 12... [the LP] EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!! THAT DOES IT!!! [Shawn runs off to the bathroom and you can hear him vomitting in there. Girl... or boy,. how ever you want to call him/her now, just giggles. Shawn comes back with a sick look on his face...] [the LP] GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BITCH, BEFORE I SNAP YOUR NECK LIKE A CHICKEN... [Girl] Hey, hey, no need to get all feisty... i was a feminine boy anyway... [the LP] GET OUT!! NOW!! [Girl] Oh and just so you know... my cheeks aren't real either... [the LP] OUT!!! [Shawn throws her/him out in that football jersey. Shawn closes the door as you can hear the phone ringing....] [the LP] [yells in the phone] WHAT? [Girl] [calling from her/his celluar] Can i get my clothes back! [the LP] NO!!! [He jams the phone down and goes to sit down. Two seconds later, it rings again..] [the LP] [yells in the phone] LISTEN TO ME YOU SHEMALE BITCH! STOP BOTHERING ME OR I'LL SNAP YOUR NECK!! CAPISH? [Otherside] Znow, Mr. Czhase, zthis is no way to ztalk to russian intelligence... [the LP] [baffled] WHAT? [Otherside] Zes, it iz I..Sergeij... [the LP] How the fuck did you find me? [Sergeij] Ze are ze russian's... ze are zsmarter than you sztupid americans.... [the LP] Listen to me, you KGB MOFO... [Sergeij] Zactually, ze are not zcalled KGB anymore... ze are Russian intelligence now... [the LP] Do i care? NO! [Sergeij] Mr. Szamszon.... ze have ze hotel szurrounded... zou better zturn yourzself in... [the LP] There is no chance you'll catch me... you won't get me alive... [Sergeij] Zhat's allritght zwith me.... ze have ze bazukas.... [the LP] OH FUCK! [Shawn slams the phone down as Mission impossible theme starts playing in the background] [the LP] Where the hell is this coming from.... [Your head Shawn?] [the LP] What was that? I heard voices in my head... [You did ass. Damn, i'm so underappreciated... i should be Cockfaces's narrator...] [the LP] Why the hell is the name Ritchard Cockface in my head? WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?? HOW CAN I ESCAPE THE KGB.... [you mean Russian itelligence] ... err...i mean russian intelligence....? [Elevator shaft] [the LP] Maybe i could try elevator shaft.... yea.... [That's cool, Shawn i'll get you out of here...] [the LP] What? Who will get me out of here? Damn voices in my head.... [Shawn quickly pulls his pants on, puts the shoes on and runs towards the elevator. He enters it and as the door close, he removes the top board and pulls himself up. Then he puts the board back at it's place and just sits on the top of the elevator....] [the LP] Dammit, i hope nobody goes to the top floor. Damn... i steal a bottle of Vodka and the next thing i know, i'm having sex with 17 year old girl, who used to be a guy and my mug is on the milk carton's... I thought only missing person's go there, but i guess i was wrong. So instead of preparing myself for a match with Porx, EOE, and the rest of those inbreeds, i'm in elevator shaft, hoping nobody goes to the top? Hell, i sank low. But hey, i'm used to that. So, since i'm here, i could like... talk about wrestling? Like that's the most important thing on my mind right now, eh? But here we go anyway. Well, my opponents on monday are Suicide *cough* hick *cough*, Hot Shot. Well, when i watched one of the past Suicide promos and matches, one thing became aparent.... obviously Mr. Suicide misses his daily showdowns with prosac quite a lot. Yea, yea, he tries to be funny, but the appearance he gives to the viewer is as if he has escaped from a extremely guarded zoo. I mean... first...Suicide.. the name by it self... hell Tarzan name is better. Who in their right mind set would name himself like that? But who am i to judge that? A good thing, though, is that Suicide is fully aware of his poor wrestling abilities. There is nothing wrong with the fact you want to entertain... there's nothing wrong with the fact if you want to convince yourself you're in the business for entertainment.... that's cool with me.. but if you maybe think somewhere deep inside that you can actually come away with a victory, then i guess we should be worried and call your psycho therapist. As far as my pal, Hot Shot goes... i guess we just can't stay out of eachother's way, uh? We had a few matches till now and you always manage to have someone save you it. Well, you know what, John. There is a third man and three others in the ring now. No, THEY won't play any important role, except provide the distraction.. you'll have somebody to beat on, while i knock out your girlfriend.....speaking of your girlfriend, John.....i heard she's related to you. Well, you know what they say.... "Nothing spells lovin, like marrying your cousin". But Vandetta, enough of this. You have something i want and although you got away pretty easy as far as title is concerned this monday, after i finally get some revenge, TWW won't be able to overlook me and grant me my title shot. My advice to you would abe to keep that bald bastard backstage or i might end up hurting both of you. And while i'm speaking of Porx... you know why his head is so small? Well, imagine how you'd look if you were a product of imbreeding. Not that i excluded that option, Vandetta. It would be an interesting story to check out....imagine news paper titles...."Secret revealed... John Vandetta - a product of 150 years of imbreeding"... that would attract some attention.... if it's true, John, you're a real familly man. But now, before i escape from this shaft, i just leave you with one final thought....I AM THE SENSATION SWEEPING THE NATION, THE OBJECT OF YOUR BITCHES MASTURBATION Although, considering the looks of your girl...i'm not sure i want to be the object of her masturbation.... EOE... Suicide... all of you...Tuesday don't miss our date.. [As he says that, you can hear somebody enter the elevator. Shawn shuts his mouth and is afraid to even breath as he listens to the voices... which are identified as Grigorij and Sergeij...] [Sergeij] Zamn, we szearched ze entire building... where its zhe? [Gregorij] I zhave zno idea.... zhave ze missed a spot? [Sergeij] Zhat about zthere? [Gregorij] Zwhere? [Sergeij] Ze ELEVATOR SHAFT! [Scene fades as the two are getting ready to check the elevator shaft....] WHAT WILL HAPPEN? WILL SHAWN ESCAPE? TUNE IN NEXT TIME! ...TO BE CONTINUED... |
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