Graduate: - "Ah, welcome back. I hope you enjoyed those advertising messages. Of course, personally I am above the brainwashing techniques of the mass media, but I don't expect specimens such as you would understand about that.

But I digress, the reason we came into the plush surroundings of this cinema was to partake in the premiere of an awesome cinematic work by yours-truly. This is a black and white piece, in the style of old-fashioned silent cinema as, I think you will agree, old-fashioned film, like old-fashioned wrestling and like so much else in life, is the best style.

This piece is entitled, "A Day in the Life of Loki the Trickster", enjoy!"

*The cinema screen, with a tear across the left hand corner, crackles into life. From this point on, what we see on screen is narrated by The Graduate from his seat in the cinema, with the accompaniment of cheesy twenties muzak*

Graduate: -
"There once was a fellow called Loki,
He was very old and his voice was all croaky,
He got himself in a fight,
With me one Friday Night,
And every bone in his body got broke-y"

*We first see a frail old man, aged mid-eighties climbing out of bed. He staggers to the window and opens the curtains*

Graduate v/o: - "Here we see Loki the Trickster early in the morning. A man who claims to be in the twilight of his career but who, in reality, has no career to speak of anyway. Washed up in a nothing federation like TWW, to be beaten week in, week out by young, virile superstars, the likes of me. Loki rises early, staggering out of bed to visit the bathroom before his aging bladder gives way."

*Now we see "Loki" entering a gym. He selects the smallest weights and tries to lift them, but is only able to get them a few inches off the ground before dropping them on his feet. He proceeds to hop around the gym, clattering into various equipment and holding his foot with a grimace of pain on his face*

Graduate v/o: - "Here we see the weakness of the little man. Watch as the young men training quietly in an ordinary gymnasium are forced to scatter as he causes chaos with his extraordinary training routine. And yet he still likes to get into the ring, indeed he claims to be a high-flyer, an entertainer..."

*Now we see "Loki" on a ladder he poses for the crowd, but then looks down. Obviously scared, he faints, falling backwards off the ladder and out of shot*

Graduate v/o: - "Pitiful...and so we reach the final segment of this masterpiece, and my personal favorite moment of the movie..."

*Here we see "Loki" in the ring with The Graduate. Posing for the crowd, Jay locks the Examination Day submission onto "Loki". We here a snap and his victim slumps to the mat. The Graduate feigns worry for a few seconds before breaking into smiles. An unseen hand hands him a bottle of champagne, which he sprays around the ring, he is then joined by two beautiful women who link arms with him. Finally, screaming fans rush the ring, surrounding him and begging for autographs. Onscreen Jay winks. Legend on screen: "The End...For now..." Fade out*