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| (The lights in the arena go out, as Some Girls Do by Saywer Brown plays over the PA system. From the back walks an ever familiar figure to the TWW fans. As always, he is accompanied by J.J and Stephanie. As he comes out it becomes clear that he is holding up a guitar in view, and is dressed in his usual dark blue denim jeans and TWW shirt, with the shades, cowboy boots and cowboy hat. As he walks to ringside, he pushes down a ring announcer, and then punches a referee to the floor, as he grabs a mic from the scared timekeeper. As he steps in the ring, J.J holds the bottom rope for Stephanie, as Suicide begins to talk to the crowd.) Suicide:Right. I've had f***ing enough of this. I got called to cut a promo here this morning, got called to sign a bunch of autographs, and got called to freakin' well entertain you lot. What the hell is with you people? Do you not realize we have a life? Well, if ya don't, I just gotta say one thing-I love you people, and I love New York. Anyway, now that I've been called out here to cut this damn promo, I may as well take advantage. What I was told to say was bull. It went something along the lines of "John Vendetta, you'd better beware, because I've got a guitar to stick right where the sun don't shine." I don't know who wrote that, but I'm not sayin' it. You know, I think Scorpio's somehow managed to get his ass on the TWW House Show booking comitee. OK, ok, so I know. The house shows are booked by the sma people as the big shows. Except, tht ain't quite true. Some of them are, but some of them aren't. Hell, I think Chef Boyardee ran one of them. Anyway, now that I've dumped them lines-I'll get you for that Scorpio-I can actually talk sense. First of all, I do not use phrases like "stick it where the sun don't shine". For god's sake. What is this? The mid-eighties. People, we are in the 21st century. However, John Vendetta-Mr Hot S**t-you can take that little hitlist of your, and you can shove it right up your ass, if you smellllllllllll what Rocky is....Damnit. I gotta stop acting like Scrapio. Now then, we're set for a match on Friday. Me and the LP. Let's see. I ain't got no problems with Shawn Chase. All I got for him is respect. Oh, and his back. Our opponents. Corx? Who? Sorry, never heard of hi-Oh, you mean "CORX", spelled C-O-R-X, right? Yeah, I remember him. It was him who I beat in my first tag team title defence. So, I guess that could kinda help. I mean, sure, so what if I have a different partner? The LP could out wrestler Mr 2 Cranky Chris Cage anyday, anywhere. Then there's you new partner. If I remember correctly-whic I do, believe me-it was Zero. And you came out as zero. A zero. But, you've actually got a worse partner this time. OH MY GOD!? How can it happen? Um, nothing against Too Cold there, but let's face it. Jack Vendetta is the KING of all.....jobbers. He is the king of jobbers, which is a fact, and can easily lose to me tommorow. I know that he's good. Hell, he's more than good. At jobbing. Then again, same went for Scraps. Oh well. I always seem to be thrown in at the shallow end. Damnit. Not to worry. I'll get over it. I always do. I'll get over it with a win this Friday. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I really do have to go now, as that asshole Scraps is cuttin' me off. I pologise for not bein' out here much longer, but it ain't my fault. Besides, I gotta get ready for tommorow. First though, Steph, what do you think of that jerk the Graduate? Stephanie:He's an asshole, and shouldn't even be on TV. What he did to that fan was terrible. Suicide:Well, Grad, as the old-or rather quite ne-saying goes-some girls don't like boys like me, oh, but some girls do. However, in your case, nobody-including the fans out there-like you. Just a quick note before I'm cut off. High Class. You come out here and hold up titles you didn't even win in a match? You two are assholes, always will be, always have been, and shouldn't even be touching them belts. Trust me, I'm a former Tag champ. I held the belts alongside 2 Crazy Chris Cage in the EWA. Unlike you, we had pride in our reign, and didn't act like snobs and start bitchin' about money. Come to think of it, it'd be hard for you to not act like snobs. After all, some people are raised correctly, and, as evident in this case-some people aren't. Finally, last note, because somebody is definitely gonna cut me off. Yep, I got one minute. Swift, I never exactly been a mate of your-after all, it was me that smacked you with that steel chair back in the glory(wasn't that all of them?)days of the EWA, but hey. A bit of advice. Your daughter. Keep her locked up. And em, keep that b***h Corx away. Aww, come on. I'm no detective, but hey-I figured out that Carx is an asshole. Not that I have much of a clue who sent that rather life-like cut out, but I definitely know Carx is an asshole. I also know that you were mad at Corx, so hey, I'll extract that little bit of revenge on him for ya, shall I? (As a crackling sound suts through the arena, Suicide throws down the mic in anger, kisses Steph, walks outside of the ring and smashes the guitar over the timekeeper's head. The scene then fades to black.) |
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