Home Contact [History} About Roster Title history [Promos] Pre-Critical Conditions Pre-Mind Games Last days [TV and PPV] Archive |
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| **We fade in to the streets outside the Pepsi Centre, which of course is the setting for Critical Conditions this week. People are up and about walking up and down, getting on with their daily business and all in all paying little or no heed to anything else around them, as most people usually do when pre-occupied. In fact they are so caught up in their own doings that they don't even notice the fact that there is greatness in their presence. Yes, of course, it is The Real F’N Deal Chris Matthews, who has just recently arrived and is making some last minute preparations before Critical Conditions. Being the rich, arrogant, egotistical bastard he is, Chris needs to have special accommodations above and beyond that which is normally given to TWW wrestlers. At the moment he's standing under the awning of a hotel, his private limousine in the background, giving directions to a skinny looking bellboy as to where to take his luggage. Chris is dressed in dark blue jeans and a lime green shirt; his blond hair neatly brushed and his eyes are covered by a pair of dark shades. He finishes telling the bellboy what to do, and promptly turns around, of course coming face-to-face with the TWW camera** Chris:What the hell is with you people? You follow me around like a pack of starving dogs! Not like I don't warrant the attention, you understand, but it DOES get very annoying at times. But since you boys need to make yourselves a living somehow…and seeing as I'm in a pretty good mood right now, I'll give you an interview. Come over here, so these bungling idiots don't get in our way. I wish these bastards could do their damn jobs the RIGHT way...I really do. But, screw them. Come with me and we'll get this damn thing started. **Chris leads the camera a little ways off, where nobody from the hotel's staff can interrupt them. He calmly unbuttons the cuffs on his shirt to allow more comfort, and then trains his eye on the camera, and starts to speak** Chris: You know, I find it very funny how West keeps on saying that I'm an asshole this, and I'm a loser that. If I were the loser, would I constantly have to make fun of the other guy and tell him how much of a loser HE is? I didn't think so...and if that made sense to you then hell, I owe you ten bucks....not. The point is that well…West's crazy. No other way to say it. We all know there's something wrong with him, hell, HE knows there's something wrong with him. The man likes fire, and he was playing with action figures! What more needs to be said?? He's a loony! That's yet ANOTHER reason why he shouldn't be the TWW Nations champion...which of course he isn't anyways since he WILL NOT steal that belt from me to begin with. I mean come on; does the TWW really want a psychopathic crazy man as its world champion? Do they really want someone like that to represent the pinnacle of wrestling achievement? No, sir, they most certainly do not. What the TWW wants for its champion, is a man who can overcome all odds present. A man who is the best both physically, mentally and…heh, heh, financially. Not some crackpot who plays with long cane, that could be used for sexual purposes and likes fire, which is just what the former Paper I.C Champion, Jake West does. He's not TWW championship material, but I sure as hell am. Which is exactly why I'm going to show that it was only an ACCIDENT I screwed my piledriver up. I slipped However you can’t say the stupid (bleep) didn’t deserve it. Hope she can walk to the ring for Sunday. Speaking of Sunday, on Sunday I'm going to demonstrate just why I'm the best in the business…and…why the HELL am I talking like some stuck-up rich boy? **Chris clears his throat and starts to talk again, this time in his normal arrogant voice and not in the British blueblood arrogant voice...yes, there is a difference believe it or not** Chris: Much better...anyways, back to the point. West, I don't know what you've been smoking or whatever lately, but face the damn facts, man! Just shut up and admit that I'm better than you are, because God knows it’s the gospel truth. I've always BEEN better than you, West. You just don't know it yet because you're so hyped up on the fact that you cheated your way into a victory at Shockwave and got the TWW Nations Title shot. But I bet you never thought of the consequences, huh? Never thought I would come looking for revenge, huh? Well…I'm not looking for revenge, West. I'm looking to HUMILIATE you and prove to the entire world who really deserves to be the TWW Nations champion. Sure, you may think you deserve it but...the reality of things is that you just can't compare to me. Its true...its...scratch that. I AM better than you are West, and I'll prove that to you personally on Sunday. You don't really have an idea of how long I've been waiting to be able to kick your ass for pissing me off. Well, it's a goddamn long time, I'll tell you that much. Shockwave was just a sample. You've been celebrating your win/loss record ever since the EWA...although...I'd have to say you weren't having much fun seeing as you were stuck in the hospital. But then again, that’s the breaks, buddy. That's what you get for trying to screw over the greatest athlete ever in the TWW. I've won more titles in this business than you've probably ever seen. Now, I could go into detail about them all, but…I'll just let you all wait till my biography "I’m Great, You’re Not" hits the shelves next year and let you read about it then. Heh, heh…the point is West, that...well wait that really didn't have a point...hmm...ah well I'm going to kick your ass on Critical Condition and leave you in a critical condition, and you won't be able to do anything about it except accept the fact that I'm the greatest and you...well...and you're not! You go and say that I'VE trespassed in the TWW? That I don't belong? What the HELL is wrong with you, you moron? If anyone doesn't belong here, its YOU! I should have put you out of action in the EWA after you cheated your way to winning a title. See that's all you're good at, West, not wrestling, just pulling all the stops and cheating like a son of a (bleep) to win whenever you can. Well I'm going to tell you right here and now, West, that there won't be any cheating this Sunday. Because I'm warning you, if you pull anything on me again the next time I won't send you to the hospital...I'm sending you to the goddamn morgue. You want to relive the past, West? You want to be like that stupid bastard Retard Camo and keep dreaming about when you WERE good, and when people actually gave two shits about you? Then you keep on dreaming, pal, because it's NEVER going to happen again. You call yourself the personification of the EWA, if it was alive? Well if that's the truth then I'll thank the Lord the EWA isn't alive, because if it was I would have to put it out of the misery of having a nobody like you be the mould for it. That's all you are West; a nobody. Yes, I will admit you had the EWA I.C Title, but do you didn’t deserve it? Hell no you didn’t deserve it. I'm a better wrestler than you are, West. I always have been, and I always will be. I was better than you before...and I'll prove to be better than you this Sunday. And if you don't like that...well then (bleep) you. Because it's the truth, whether you like to hear it or not. You wanted a (bleeping) war West, well guess what? You got it. And it will all come crashing down for you this Sunday when I claim the nations Title as my rightful property. **Chris removes his shades and gives a look of pure hatred. No sultry smile, no victorious pose, but instead the look of a killer...of a man out for blood. He lets out a deep sigh and puts the shades back on his head before starting to head off inside the hotel. He glances back and yells to the camera crew that he will continue the promo later, and walks through the glass double-doors of the hotel. Once Chris has exited the camera pans up towards the darkening sky, and then slowly fades to black** To be continued... |
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