Home Contact [History} About Roster Title history [Promos] Pre-Critical Conditions Pre-Mind Games Last days [TV and PPV] Archive |
 |
|
|
|
|
| [The dust has settled, Shockwave is over. Shawn, has to put yet the L in his records. Thank god he's not counting them, huh? Porx was the barrier Shawn couldn't overcome. But, that's water under the bridge now, as Shawn looks on... towards his next match where he gets to face Hit Shot for the TWW Title at CC. Is Shawn finally motivated enough, to put the loss behind him? Let's hope so. The Title that Shawn wants. HS is now the hunted and Shawn is the hunter... can HS survive?] [Scene opens in some nightclub. God knows what the name is. I can tell that the place suxx. I mean dirty cups, bartender with fleas and men strippers. Cameraman and Sparky (my hired interviewer) are partying by the stage, stuffing five dollar notes in dancers thongs. Suddenly the door open, and Shawn Chase stands between them. The minute he sees this is a gay club, he turns around and leaves. Sparky, visably upset that he had to stop his party, runs after him, to cut another TWW interview with the biggest TWW star since... ummm.. nobody been that good. Cameraman follows and after the time they get to the door, you can hear Sparky huffin and puffin...] [Sparky] Wait a second, lemme catch my breath... [Breath? That was 14 feet. God damnit his condition is really tip-top. No wonder he couldnt make it as a wrestler. Finally the duo comes out and we see Shawn kickin the shit out of somebody on the parking lot. He's yellin something and when we come closer we can hear cleearly..] [the LP] BITCH ASS, HIT ON ME AGAIN AND IT WILL END WITH YOU IN FUCKIN BODY BAG??GET THAT??? [Sparky runs over to save his friend on the floor. He covers him like a whimp that he is with his body, both of course shaking...] [Sparky] No, Mr. Chase, please don't! Don't hurt my Alex. [the LP] Then tell your gay buddy not to come near me again... [Sparky] That's sexual discrimination.. [the LP] If you don't shut it, next time you won't be able to tell me about the sexual discrimination. Is it my fault that your pops fucked you in your ass with a tire iron, every night before bedtime? [Sparky] [giggles] Memories [the LP gets a disguisted look on his face and suddenly starts puking all over Sparky and his little buddy.] [Sparky] Heyyy....you just ruined my $2 t-shirt, that was made in Taiwan... [the LP fixes his collar of his fashionate Versace $400 dolar business suit and grins...] [the LP] [sarcasticly] Oh, have I?I am so sorry. But what else could you expect when [normal] you ask me to cut an interview in gay strip club. [Sparky] Didn't you know it's gay club? [the LP] "Blue Rose" doesn't sound exactly gay ya know. Imagine what happened to my rep, when i entered that shit hole? [Sparky] Everyone in there loves you. [the LP] Now I can die happy. Would you shut your mouth and tell me why the hell did you want to talk to me? [Sparky] Can we go in? We can cut an interview... [the LP] Hmm ..let me think....NO! Now, if you wanna cut a promo, it'll be under my conditions...C'mon i know just the place where to do it.. [the LP, SParky and cameraman walk over to Shawn's car. It's a beemer, BMW for you uneducated. They enter, cammy goes on the backseat. As SParky sits, he imidaitelly has his hand on Shawn's thigh. Next second we see Shawn who grabs Sparky's head and bangs it in the dashboard. Blood starts running from Sparky's nose.] [Sparky] AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! THAT HURTS! MY NOSE! [the LP] I thought we had this lecture before! Hey don't get blood stains on my seats. It took me forever to get them out the last time. [the LP reaches in the glove compartment and pulls out a pack of tissues] [the LP] Here, use these... [Scene fades as Sparky is trying to stop his nose bleeding.....] 16 and a half minutes later [Scene opens again , this time another strip club. Yea a fancy one...clean cups, topless waitress' and female strippers. Oh yea, baby. the LP is sitting behind the table trying to ignore Sparky....] [Sparky] Womeeen...nooo...why here? Shawn why did you bring us here....i thought we were going to a special place... [Yea right... dream on] [the LP] [yelling over to the stripper] Show us some muff baby!!! [Sparky] No she might actually do it... [Striper takes a silk scarf and rubs it over her muff, until she takes her thongs off. She walks the crowd and eventually she comes over to the table of our LP. But Sparky is the one sitting closer to her, so she starts with him. She sits on his thigh and rubbs herself on it..] [Sparky] Eeeew..get away from me you AIDS carrying whore.... [Sparky gets up and stripper falls down. He runs over to the bathroom, taking a piece of paper ..looks like a picture, from his pocket...Shawn helps the stripper up, and she, to show her appriciation, sits on his lap and starts rubbing his head in her breasts. Shawn is in seventh heaven.....but....] [Sparky] [who's back from the toilet, looks reliefed] GET OFF HIM BITCH!!! [Stripper looks with that "WTF? Are you his boyfriend?" look and goes away. Shawn is pissed. We can see steam coming from his mouth.....no wait that's cigarette smoke....my bad.] [the LP] [obviously yelling] WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? NOT EVERYBODY HERE HATES WOMEN! NOT EVERYBODY HERE GOES OFF TO BATHROOM JERKING OFF OVER HIS BOYFRIEND PICTURE!!! YOU DO THIS ONE MORE TIME AND I GUARANTEE YOU THAT I'LL STICK THAT CAMERA UP YOUR ASS! [Sparky] [day dreaming] Mmmmmmmm [the LP] [smacks him over the head] Wake up! You wanted interview...let's do an interview, before i go smack some hoes... [Sparky] But, Mr. Chase, that woman was gonna take advantage of you.. i was just helping you... What would Ari say? [the LP] Uh, i was willing to take that risk! [Sparky] [disappointed] Ok, as you wish.I'll call Ricky Martin later..haha...we'll shake bon bons together.... [the LP] Ough...gross... [Sparky] Well, everybody looks at this from his own perspective. Now, Mr. Chase, the last time we've seen you in TWW, was Shockwave, where you got your ass kicked by Porx. Your comments on that match. [the LP] Well, that was my fault to begin with. I mean, i underestimated Porx and i guess he surprised everybody, by actually pinning my shoulders for the three count. But, you know, accidents happen and that was one of them. I have no intention losing to him again, so the next time TWW decides to throws him my way, i'll be more than ready. [Sparky] Ok, then your next opponent is Hot Shot... [the LP] Who? You mean he has an TWW contract? [Sparky] Yep. [the LP] Oh, i'm sorry, i'm not used to fight some curtain jerkers. [Sparky] Hot Shot can barely be considered a curtain jerker, I mean he's in the TWW Title match w/ you... [the LP] .. Oh that goofy Stone Cold wanna be that i made tap out and call me master... hey Sparky? [Sparky] Yea? [the LP] From now on, you'll just keep quiet, while i talk.. capish? I don't need nobody who thinks he's an interviewer, "interviewing" me. Go bug Porx from now on, ok? [Sparky] Uh..ok [the LP] Ok, now, where was I. Yea, i remember. I was just gonna speak about the fact, how TWW obviously wants me to fight this so called "rassler", who obviously spent all his money on beer and donuts, so now he can't even afford the budget to cut a good promo. Yea, it's tpugh when you're not up to par with TWW's biggest star, ME, and you have to pay for your own promos, unlike myself. Hell, i even have my own ... umm.. interviewer.. although that's the topic i have to discuss with Mr. Swift and yell at him for sending a guy like that to interview me. Now, the last time i've seen a HS promo, he's been waxing people's head to earn some bucks. Well, once he had a shiny career, but now, all he has is sticky and smooth hands, while shining some guys head. Wow, what a step in the right direction. Johny is obviously NOT one of the smartest TWWers. He's been on top of his world.. and if you know how much he weights, you'll know it takes SOO much effort to take that body on the top.. heh.. but then, he retired. He couldn't take the beatings anymore. So, after that, he's been sitting infront of the telly, eating chips, drinking beer and getting even fatter. So, Mr. Fatty decides it's time to do something about his weight problem. As i said before, he joins weight loss program, which to his disappointment wasn't a success... it was actually quite opposite. Johnny gained fat. Maybe now, he should change his name to Johnny Superfatty, but what do i know? Now, i know, you people must be wondering.. "How can you gain weight in weight loss camp?". Well, I was asking myself the very same question and since that "private eye vain" in me would let it rest, i decided to investigate. And what did i find out? Johnny was sneaking into the kitchen late at nights, emptying the fridge. Day in day out. The staff didn't know it was Superfatty, but it became evident, by all those empty beer bottles he left near the fridge. Uh, my bad, thats the REAL Stone Cold Steve Austin, NOW I can move on to the REAL Mr. Vandetta ... [the LP] John. Why are you calling yourself a hot shot? What kind of hs are you anyway? Oh, i guess that question won't be answered, due to your silent treatment. In your case, i guess it's true when they say picture tells thousand words. I've seen your promo from.. err.. long ago? Yea, you know the one you shot when hell froze over? Uh, nevermind. But, it's pretty aparent you're afraid of somebody in TWW.. somebody.. ME. Yea, you're so afraid of me, that I bet my estate that you won't show your face infront of the TTW camera, before the time of our clash. But, that's ok, HS. Maybe, you can do yourself a favor and say "I didn't know i had a match", so you don't appear on the show and don't get your teeth kicked in. But, i'm not gonna talk about that anymore, since i might end up as boring as YOU r. It's funny, in a way. I don't need sleeping pills anymore.. since U came to TWW, i just turn TWW program on... boom, two seconds later, i'm in deep sleep. Now.. who was i talking about again? Ummm... umm.. Will Smith? Nah... Woody Allen? Nah.. Ummm.. dammit, what's his name... SOMEBODY!! [Sparky] Hot Shoy... [the LP] Oh, yea.. that's it. Completely slipped my mind. Must've been because his unimportance. Yea, i know, you'll be there.. but do i really care? Frankly tomorrow's TWW Title match will be like a walk in the park for me, while it'll be armageddon for you. Hey HS, paying attention here? Hey, you know what? I don't blame you if you're not paying attention. Even i'm not. I can't get them damn strippers out of my mind. So, HS, Porx, TWW, i'm gonna leave you right now, with these few but damn true words...I am THE SENSATION SWEEPING THE NATION, THE OBJECT OF YOUR BITCHES MASTURBATION [As soon as Shawn says that, he gets up and walks over, closer to the stage... Sparky is disgruntled as he leaves the strip joint, with cameraman and scene fades to black] |
|
|