Home Contact [History} About Roster Title history [Promos] Pre-Critical Conditions Pre-Mind Games Last days [TV and PPV] Archive |
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| We open in a large truck, looking from the back seat. Cam, in a navy blue hooded sweatshirt and blue jeans, is driving the truck. Sitting beside him in the other bucket seat is Shirley, wearing a white T-shirt and blue jean shortalls. The camera turns toward the row of the camera to reveal Sharc wearing a Slayer T-shirt and black jeans and Chelsea, in a long-sleeved purple shirt and jeans. The camera then turns around to reveal Masked Jobber 2, wearing a black leather mask over his long bleached blond hair, some sort of Y2K shirt and white shorts, and Tooth-Pac, wearing an nWo Wolfpac T-shirt and bright green pants. They are in the luggage area, being thrown around by the turns of the truck. Shirley and Cam are talking but we can't make out what they say. Victoria is the woman behind the camera. She is wearing tight red corduroy pants and a black top. VICTORIA: Got any words for our viewing audience yet Sharc? Sharc looks over at the camera, and then looks back down at the floor. Chelsea puts her arm around him and looks at the camera. VICTORIA: (Camera swings back to the luggage area.) Hey guys, can you explain what we're doing. TOOTH-PAC: Oh for sure. (He tumbles to the right side of the truck, and MJ2 crashes into him as they go around a curve.) MASKED JOBBER 2: Pardon me, Cameron? This is a highway. There are no corners. How is it possible we keep getting thrown around, whoooooaaaaa (MJ2 goes flying to the opposite side, and Tooth-Pac crashes into him). CAM: Well, when you're doing 80, everything back there must feel like hell. Deal with it rookies. TOOTH-PAC: Toothamania is gonna run wild on you someday dude. MJ2: Okay, so here's the story, you beautiful little vixen. Sharc found out he had to fight Syth Friday. This is without a doubt a huge match up for both men. Hell, Syth would have beat Graduate Tuesday if not for Dysan and a baseball bat. Now, Sharc won Tuesday by beating Joke Excuse, who is now part of Da Brooklyn Beatdown with his partner Mr. HBO. So, when he found out about Syth, he wanted us all to come out to the woods to cut a promo. Why? Syth seems to like going into the woods and chanting evil nursery rhymes. Sharc isn't a poet, and I think he knows it. And once Syth and TWW see this promo, they will forever, and eeeeeeevvvvvvveeerrrrrr, never say Sharc isn't clever, agayne. Because I am M2J. TOOTH-PAC: Masked 2 Job baby! MJ2: And I have a new intro. Tell me what you think of this Pac-man. On the Tidaltron, comes this countdown thing. It starts at 5 and says 5 until M2J. Or, it could say 5 until T2J, Time 2 Job instead. I dunno. But, something like that, then all the lights go out. Silence. Then loud explosions. Then the world's premiere jobber is out mysteriously, with his back turned and a microphone in his hand to tear down my opponent before getting my body bruised and battered. And I can go, welcome to Shockwave Is Jobberknocker. TOOTH-PAC: It's too bad we don't have a jobber show like the WWF or WCW. Sunday Night Heat, Thunder, Nitro, three of the best jobber shows today. MJ2: Yeah. The camera goes up between the front bucket seat. We are staring at a highway, and hundreds of cars ahead of them. The dashboard clock says it is 5:32. Rush hour traffic is hell. But at least they're still moving. The camera turns to Shirley. Shirley looks at the camera and smiles. VICTORIA: Hey you. SHIRLEY: You having fun with that thing? VICTORIA: Not as much as I'd like to. But it'll do until later. SHIRLEY: (She turns to Sharc.) So are we almost to her house? SHARC: (He looks up.) Yeah, a couple more exits, and she's pretty much off the highway. Then we can get to business. SHIRLEY: She'll be fine. SHARC: I know. It still pisses me off though. SHIRLEY: I know. I know. So, where exactly are we going? SHARC: Well, Jenny suggested a spot about two miles up the road. She gave me good directions so it shouldn't be hard to find it. CAM: It'll be a breeze dude. SHARC: But we have to get really deep in the forest. VICTORIA: So, I hope somebody here is good at this type of stuff. MJ2: Fear not, for I, Masked Jobber 2, have an uncanny ability to navigate in the deep dark woods. You wouldn't believe how many times the football team used to put me in a body bag, hang me up in a tree, beat me like a pinata, and then roll me off the edge a cliff down into a rocky ditch. But I always found my way home. VICTORIA: Why so quiet today Chelsea? SHARC: Turn off right there Cam. CAM: I see it. CHELSEA: I don't know. I'm just worried I guess. SHARC: About me? CHELSEA: Yeah. SHARC: Don't be. Worry about Andy Extreme. Worry about what the f*ck I'm gonna do to him next time I get the chance. Worry about what I'm gonna do to Syth Friday. Don't worry about me. Unless it's about me getting arrested, which I just might be willing to do for some payback. Andy Extreme didn't want this thing to die, so, fine. Guess who I called up. My good buddy John Leary. And you know what he said to me. Oct. 27. Mind Games. Me and Andy Extreme are looking at a match. And if that's true, it's about damn time. Hey Andy, I don't buy you. You suck! You think you're a big man because you can hit your D'Lo Brown ripped off move on Jenny? She's a hell of a lot tougher than that. Yeah, she won't be here for this promo, but she'll be back Friday. Did you see what the f*ck I did to Matthews? I destroyed him. That was just a taste of what I am capable of. You cross me, you will feel vengeance like you have never felt before bitch boy. So if you got the balls to accept it, I'll officially make the challenge. Mind Games. Andy Jobber vs. Sharc. I want to make you bleed rivers. I ain't afraid to bleed. I know you've got the balls to accept it. But have you got the balls to win it? I really don't give a f*ck about winning the match as long as I make you bleed, make you suffer and make you feel like the piece of sh*t you are. Static We're inside of Jenny's bedroom with Sharc, Shirley and Victoria (who has the camera). Jenny is laying in bed, with her pillows bunched up against the headboard so she can sit up straight. Her white blanket is pulled up over her legs. She is wearing just a blue pajama top and panties. JENNY: Hey guys! Victoria and Shirley go over to hug her together. Sharc takes a seat on the bed to her left. She holds out her hand and Sharc takes it. SHARC: How are you. JENNY: I'm fine. Really. I mean, I'll be fine by Friday. That was a good move by Andy. But it wasn't good enough to put me out. I'm one tough girl. SHARC: I know you are. So, this sucks. I so much wanted you to come up to the woods with us for the promo. JENNY: You don't need me. MJ2: (He walks in.) Whoa. Jenny, if you're paralyzed, can I be your wheelchair? Jenny throws a pillow at his head. He falls backward into the door, and then trips over his own feet, and he crashes head first into the open doorway. TOOTH-PAC: (He comes in.) I bet he's busted wide open. Speaking of wide open, Jenny, I just saw one of your movies. Brilliant work. I jerked off to that about 10 times in an hour. SHARC: Do you two mind? I'm trying to talk to Jenny here? Get the hell out! TOOTH-PAC: (He picks up MJ2 by the legs and pulls him out.) Sure boss. JENNY: So, are you going to get back at Andy. SHARC: I plan to pick my spot. He won't know when. He won't know where. JENNY: I had an idea. (She looks at the camera.) Shut that off. Static We open on a deserted road. The black rental truck rests on the side of the road on the grass. The gang is stretching a bit. They gather around the back of the truck and look over the scenery. SHIRLEY: Really quiet here, isn't it? (she says nervously). Plus, it's almost dark. Are you sure you want to do this? TOOTH-PAC: Don't worry babe, I'll protect you. SHIRLEY: Yeah. You would give me about as much protection as a ripped condom, but whatever. Static Cam now has the camera. We see the backs of MJ2, Sharc, Chelsea, Shirley, Tooth-Pac and Victoria walking through a thick wooded area. The snapping of branches echoes in the eerie silence. Not even the sound of a chirping bird or a cricket, or an owl. Nothing but silence. Except for the shuffling of leaves on the ground and the snapping of branches like brittle bones. VICTORIA: This is creepy. Maybe we should go back before we get lost. SHARC: We're almost there Victoria. Look, there's the stream we need to cross. SHIRLEY: What? MJ2: Don't worry. There is a log you can walk across. Big one too. We're all set. The camera looks up to the darkening sky. A few dull stars are coming into view, frozen in the sky. MJ2: Oww. The camera returns to the earth. SHARC: What'd you trip over dude? MJ2: I dunno. This pile of leaves. SHARC: Only you could trip over leaves. MJ2: No, there's something in them. The group gathers around the pile of leaves in question. Sharc kicks away at the leaves and his foot catches on something. SHARC: What the hell? Sharc bends over and brushes more leaves away. SHARC: What the f*ck is that? Who has the flashlight? SHIRLEY: Here it is. Victoria screams. Static TO BE CONTINUED. |
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