Scene 13
Ext. Graduates Porch. 17:43
Fade up. We are looking at the front porch of TWW Nations Champion The Graduate Jay Gavin. The sun is shining, low in the early evening sky. The camera walks around, giving us a good view of the surroundings. Everything is very tranquil; there is no passing traffic, lots of trees, the very epitome of a "leafy suburb". Situated on the porch is a large, comfortable looking armchair. Situated in the large, comfortable looking armchair is The Graduate. He is wearing a pair of long denim shorts and official TWW "Taking your a$$ back to school" T-shirt. He is also wearing sunglasses and a contented smile. Sitting in front of him is a TV, we can neither see nor hear what it is showing. However, after watching smiling for a few seconds Jay breaks out into fits of laughter. He pushes his shades up onto his head and mops his face in hysterics. He picks up a remote control from somewhere nearby and flicks the TV off. The camera approaches him, he is still laughing.
The Graduate: - (Through his laughter) "
.worms
.hahahahahaha
worms
hey Matthews, have you and Suicide had the "other" test yet?
hahahahaha
"
He notices the camera and composes himself.
The Graduate: - "Oh, hey there! Im glad to see you, sit yourselves down. Listen, your timing couldnt be better Carlos just ran down to the store to get some milk, so maybe well be able to just shoot a sensible promo without him, and then you guys can shoot off and hell never even know you where here! Sound good? OK, here we go.
Well, it seems like people are finally seeing sense. I mean, it was just a few short weeks ago I was a nobody. People walked past me in the back and they didnt even know my name, a few of them probably even thought I was a janitor. A few short weeks ago I made my debut, and lost. A few short weeks ago you people, the fans, booed and jeered me, while you cheered for a guy so lame that even Carlos beat him back in the old EWA, Suicide.
How things have changed. Now in the back I got respect, hell, I even got a few friends, as Im sure you all saw on Shockwave. Now Im on the hottest undefeated streak in TWW history. Sure, I may not have beaten Syth, but I didnt lose either. And Syth, you have nothing but my utmost respect for the battle you put me through this past Tuesday. But now, this Friday on Lightning The Graduate is involved in his first ever professional main event, its a fact, I could prove it scientifically
But I digress
what I was about to say is - now you fans cheer me, and Carlo. And believe me, that means so much to me, its the most important thing in my world. It means more than this title, more than my undefeated streak, hell Id come out here and lie down like CorX every week just as long as the crowd pops as I walk down the ramp. And do you know why Ive been able to turn around my fortunes? Because were in America, the land of opportunity, where anyone can come from nothing, anyone can make something of himself
which brings me neatly to those jingoistic, arrogant little SOBs, Americas Most Wanted.
Now, I want to address this match, this main event, on Lightning. When it will be myself and TWW Champion Shawn Chase facing off against Suicide and Chris Matthews. Now correct me if Im wrong, but Ive been doing a bit of grad school research, and I think this is one of the greatest mismatches in wrestling history. To me its like a world class star, like say Steve Austin, facing off against some big fat nobody, like..oh for arguments sake lets say Rikishi. I mean, can you imagine that match ever happening in real life? Its just laughable.
Lets look at the scientific evidence. Ive been trawling through the TWW archives. Ive just looked at the videos of Shockwave from the last three weeks, and do you know what I saw? I saw Chase make Matthews tap out once, I saw myself make Matthews tap out as well. I saw Shawn win matches involving Suicide twice. Going further back, I believe Suicide has also lost to the finest real wrestler in TWW before, tapping out to the most devastating submission hold in wrestling history, Examination Day.
So what can we learn from this startling new evidence
well, its simple. Americas Most Wanted, theyre nothing, theyre a bunch of quitters, theyre a bunch of losers. Even with the most influential man in the company leading them, they cant win a match between them, its pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.
I dont even see why we should bother turning up. To be quite honest, I would have liked a harder match-up for my first ever main event. But then again, in this two-bit, low-budget, no-star federation, with a lunatic like Miranda in charge, you would really expect nothing more.
So Ill turn up, Ill prove myself to AMW one more time, then at Mind Games, when I beat Matthews again Ill prove myself to AMW once more. And Ill keep on proving myself to Miranda, to Matthews, to Suicide, to AMW, to anyone who doubts me. Until the federation is run by the deserving, the young Byron Swift for example. Until worthy men like myself, like my good friends Shawn Chase and High Class are the only champions, until true warriors, true superstars such as Dysan get the respect they deserve. Tomorrow night Suicide, Matthews, Miranda, whoever the hell youve got as mystery referee, you will all get a true education from a true wrestling superstar. So step up to the plate and Grad and Chase will send you back to England with your tails between your legs.
Now, before I go, I want to talk to my fans. I want to answer some of the letters I receive from you every week. Now, I cant reply to everyone individually, but I want you all to know that I read each and every letter I get. And I have a list here of the top three questions sent to me this week by you, my loyal, doting public."
He picks up a clipboard, which he reads from.
The Graduate: - "The third most popular question this week
"Dear Grad, Where can I get hold of your fantastic TWW T-shirt?"
Well, I get asked this a lot. There are a few places you can get your hands on this quality, 100% cotton piece of Graduate merchandise. You can order online from anywhere in the world at TWW.coms shopzone. Or if youre lucky enough to have a live TWW event, or TWW endorsed official superstar public appearance come to your home town, then be sure you get yourself down and check out the merchandise stalls for this and other fantastic TWW merchandise.
OK, the next most popular question
"Dear Grad, How can I become a wrestler like you?"
Well little wannabe wrestling guys, I wont lie to you. Its hard work, but if its something you really want, then go for it and let nobody stand in your way, and you might just make the grade. Train well, eat well, and most importantly, get the right clothing. Like this official 100% cotton Graduate T-shirt for example! Its just the thing for up-and-coming young Graduates or even leeetle Carlos, and you can order one of your very own now by checking out the shopzone at TWW.com!
Finally, the question sent to me most this week
"Dear Grad, What is the deal between you, Shawn Chase and High Class?"
Ah, this is the big one! Well, its really very simple, I like Shawn Chase, I like High Class, and they like me. This federation has become an unsafe environment for the average, hardworking American wrestler since Americas Most Wanted seized control, and we all have to stick together now more than ever. Will we ever have an "official" relationship? Who can say? But theyre all great guys, and Id like to point out that they all have their own range of exciting T-shirts at
"
He is distracted from a shout from somewhere nearby.
Carlos: - "HOLA MIS AMIGOS!!! Is I, the Angel, the Icon, El Extremist De Espana and
AGH!"
Arriving on the porch and surveying the scene he screams.
Carlos: - "You is conducting an interview without me? Is you realizing how dangerous this could be being? You could be being all boring again, you could be losing all your fans, you silly leeetle wrestle-man."
The Graduate: - "Its OK, Carlo. I got it under control dude. Im just finishing off the most asked question from this weeks mailbag
about whats going on between me, Chase and High Class
"
Carlos tries to look at the clipboard but Jay hides it from him. Carlos pretends hes not interested and starts to walk away before turning around and snatching the board from Grads hands suddenly.
Carlos: - "I is not understanding, the top question on here is not being about Chase and High Class
"
The Graduate: - (Clenching his teeth) "Yes
it IS."
Carlos: - "Is not."
The Graduate: - "YES IT IS
"
Carlos: - "Is not."
The Graduate: - "YES IT IS
"
Carlos: - "Is not."
The Graduate: - "YES IT IS
"
Carlos: - "No, is not
listen, I will be reading it out
"Dear Grad, Is it being true that you and Carlos is being homo
"
At this point he stops talking, lets out a small scream, throws the clipboard away past the camera and dives over the porch into a nearby bush. The camera turns back to face the Graduate.
The Graduate: - "Well, thats all for this week folks, well talk again after lightning."
We fade out.
The Graduate (v/o): - (Mutters) "
I HAVE to get a copy of the immigration laws
"
To Be Continued
Scene 14 at the weekend! |