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Just Chillin'
The Graduate (without Carlos!)
Scene 13
Ext. Graduate’s Porch. 17:43

Fade up. We are looking at the front porch of TWW Nations Champion The Graduate Jay Gavin. The sun is shining, low in the early evening sky. The camera walks around, giving us a good view of the surroundings. Everything is very tranquil; there is no passing traffic, lots of trees, the very epitome of a "leafy suburb". Situated on the porch is a large, comfortable looking armchair. Situated in the large, comfortable looking armchair is The Graduate. He is wearing a pair of long denim shorts and official TWW "Taking your a$$ back to school" T-shirt. He is also wearing sunglasses and a contented smile. Sitting in front of him is a TV, we can neither see nor hear what it is showing. However, after watching smiling for a few seconds Jay breaks out into fits of laughter. He pushes his shades up onto his head and mops his face in hysterics. He picks up a remote control from somewhere nearby and flicks the TV off. The camera approaches him, he is still laughing.

The Graduate: - (Through his laughter) "….worms….hahahahahaha…worms…hey Matthews, have you and Suicide had the "other" test yet?…hahahahaha…"

He notices the camera and composes himself.

The Graduate: - "Oh, hey there! I’m glad to see you, sit yourselves down. Listen, your timing couldn’t be better – Carlos just ran down to the store to get some milk, so maybe we’ll be able to just shoot a sensible promo without him, and then you guys can shoot off and he’ll never even know you where here! Sound good? OK, here we go.

Well, it seems like people are finally seeing sense. I mean, it was just a few short weeks ago I was a nobody. People walked past me in the back and they didn’t even know my name, a few of them probably even thought I was a janitor. A few short weeks ago I made my debut, and lost. A few short weeks ago you people, the fans, booed and jeered me, while you cheered for a guy so lame that even Carlos beat him back in the old EWA, Suicide.

How things have changed. Now in the back I got respect, hell, I even got a few friends, as I’m sure you all saw on Shockwave. Now I’m on the hottest undefeated streak in TWW history. Sure, I may not have beaten Syth, but I didn’t lose either. And Syth, you have nothing but my utmost respect for the battle you put me through this past Tuesday. But now, this Friday on Lightning The Graduate is involved in his first ever professional main event, it’s a fact, I could prove it scientifically…

But I digress…what I was about to say is - now you fans cheer me, and Carlo. And believe me, that means so much to me, it’s the most important thing in my world. It means more than this title, more than my undefeated streak, hell I’d come out here and lie down like CorX every week just as long as the crowd pops as I walk down the ramp. And do you know why I’ve been able to turn around my fortunes? Because we’re in America, the land of opportunity, where anyone can come from nothing, anyone can make something of himself…which brings me neatly to those jingoistic, arrogant little SOBs, America’s Most Wanted.

Now, I want to address this match, this main event, on Lightning. When it will be myself and TWW Champion Shawn Chase facing off against Suicide and Chris Matthews. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve been doing a bit of grad school research, and I think this is one of the greatest mismatches in wrestling history. To me it’s like a world class star, like say Steve Austin, facing off against some big fat nobody, like..oh for arguments sake lets say Rikishi. I mean, can you imagine that match ever happening in real life? It’s just laughable.

Let’s look at the scientific evidence. I’ve been trawling through the TWW archives. I’ve just looked at the videos of Shockwave from the last three weeks, and do you know what I saw? I saw Chase make Matthews tap out once, I saw myself make Matthews tap out as well. I saw Shawn win matches involving Suicide twice. Going further back, I believe Suicide has also lost to the finest real wrestler in TWW before, tapping out to the most devastating submission hold in wrestling history, Examination Day.

So what can we learn from this startling new evidence…well, it’s simple. America’s Most Wanted, they’re nothing, they’re a bunch of quitters, they’re a bunch of losers. Even with the most influential man in the company leading them, they can’t win a match between them, it’s pathetic. Absolutely pathetic.

I don’t even see why we should bother turning up. To be quite honest, I would have liked a harder match-up for my first ever main event. But then again, in this two-bit, low-budget, no-star federation, with a lunatic like Miranda in charge, you would really expect nothing more.

So I’ll turn up, I’ll prove myself to AMW one more time, then at Mind Games, when I beat Matthews again I’ll prove myself to AMW once more. And I’ll keep on proving myself to Miranda, to Matthews, to Suicide, to AMW, to anyone who doubts me. Until the federation is run by the deserving, the young Byron Swift for example. Until worthy men like myself, like my good friends Shawn Chase and High Class are the only champions, until true warriors, true superstars such as Dysan get the respect they deserve. Tomorrow night Suicide, Matthews, Miranda, whoever the hell you’ve got as mystery referee, you will all get a true education from a true wrestling superstar. So step up to the plate and Grad and Chase will send you back to England with your tails between your legs.

Now, before I go, I want to talk to my fans. I want to answer some of the letters I receive from you every week. Now, I can’t reply to everyone individually, but I want you all to know that I read each and every letter I get. And I have a list here of the top three questions sent to me this week by you, my loyal, doting public."

He picks up a clipboard, which he reads from.

The Graduate: - "The third most popular question this week… "Dear Grad, Where can I get hold of your fantastic TWW T-shirt?"

Well, I get asked this a lot. There are a few places you can get your hands on this quality, 100% cotton piece of Graduate merchandise. You can order online from anywhere in the world at TWW.com’s shopzone. Or if you’re lucky enough to have a live TWW event, or TWW endorsed official superstar public appearance come to your home town, then be sure you get yourself down and check out the merchandise stalls for this and other fantastic TWW merchandise.

OK, the next most popular question… "Dear Grad, How can I become a wrestler like you?"

Well little wannabe wrestling guys, I won’t lie to you. It’s hard work, but if it’s something you really want, then go for it and let nobody stand in your way, and you might just make the grade. Train well, eat well, and most importantly, get the right clothing. Like this official 100% cotton Graduate T-shirt for example! It’s just the thing for up-and-coming young Graduates or even leeetle Carlos, and you can order one of your very own now by checking out the shopzone at TWW.com!

Finally, the question sent to me most this week… "Dear Grad, What is the deal between you, Shawn Chase and High Class?"

Ah, this is the big one! Well, it’s really very simple, I like Shawn Chase, I like High Class, and they like me. This federation has become an unsafe environment for the average, hardworking American wrestler since America’s Most Wanted seized control, and we all have to stick together now more than ever. Will we ever have an "official" relationship? Who can say? But they’re all great guys, and I’d like to point out that they all have their own range of exciting T-shirts at…"

He is distracted from a shout from somewhere nearby.

Carlos: - "HOLA MIS AMIGOS!!! Is I, the Angel, the Icon, El Extremist De Espana and…AGH!"
Arriving on the porch and surveying the scene he screams.

Carlos: - "You is conducting an interview without me? Is you realizing how dangerous this could be being? You could be being all boring again, you could be losing all your fans, you silly leeetle wrestle-man."

The Graduate: - "It’s OK, Carlo. I got it under control dude. I’m just finishing off the most asked question from this week’s mailbag…about what’s going on between me, Chase and High Class…"

Carlos tries to look at the clipboard but Jay hides it from him. Carlos pretends he’s not interested and starts to walk away before turning around and snatching the board from Grad’s hands suddenly.

Carlos: - "I is not understanding, the top question on here is not being about Chase and High Class…"

The Graduate: - (Clenching his teeth) "Yes…it IS."

Carlos: - "Is not."

The Graduate: - "YES IT IS…"

Carlos: - "Is not."

The Graduate: - "YES IT IS…"

Carlos: - "Is not."

The Graduate: - "YES IT IS…"

Carlos: - "No, is not…listen, I will be reading it out… "Dear Grad, Is it being true that you and Carlos is being homo…"

At this point he stops talking, lets out a small scream, throws the clipboard away past the camera and dives over the porch into a nearby bush. The camera turns back to face the Graduate.

The Graduate: - "Well, that’s all for this week folks, we’ll talk again after lightning."

We fade out.

The Graduate (v/o): - (Mutters) "…I HAVE to get a copy of the immigration laws…"

To Be Continued…
Scene 14 at the weekend!

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