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| We open in a sub and pizza shop. Sharc is seated at a table, his left leg bouncing up and down as he looks around in the deserted restaurant. He is wearing a classic Black Sabbath 666 T-shirt and white jeans. Chelsea is sitting beside him, wearing a black leather jacket over a black T-shirt and a black knee-length skirt with black stockings and boots. He turns around and looks at Chelsea for a few seconds. She smiles. CHELSEA: What? SHARC: You are looking better and better all the time. Remember when we first met. At the hotel. I saw this in you. All you needed to do was get your diet under control and work out a bit, and now you're a 10. CHELSEA: (She blushes.) Shut up. Sharc puts an arm around her and pulls her close. He whispers something in her ear and she smiles and starts laughing, but covers it up with her hand. CAM: Are you two keeping secrets? SHARC: It's something for her ears only. Come on dude, I've never felt better. I am coming off a huge win over Syth, a man who had The Graduate, the TWW Nations Champion, down on the mat and would have won if not for. Good old Dysan. My tag team partner Tuesday on Shockwave. A man, who, well, put his massive hand around my throat and almost choked the life out of me. A man who I have nothing but respect for. I know he has none for me, but that doesn't matter Tuesday. Dysan, let's get something straight. We are not friends. I have no friends in TWW. I am a man who stands alone. I fight my own battles. I get dirty as I need to. And you, my friend, literally destroy all men in your path. While you take that way, I do not have that luxury. I'm not seven feet tall. I don't weigh 300 pounds or whatever you weigh. I have to see opportunity in the ring and strike when my opponent is vulnerable. That's exactly how I put Syth's amazing win streak to an end Friday. And I'm sure Syth will blame multiple factors. Like, it was Friday the 13th, there was a full moon, and the pull of the moon on the earth caused his wrestling ability to all sink into his shoulders until they were so heavy he couldn't lift them off the mat. But whatever. Syth, Tuesday, you have a chance to redeem yourself. But it just ain't going to happen. You see, now that I have a win under my belt against a quality opponent like you, I now realize I don't have to go around lying about how good I am. Because the truth is, as good as you are Syth, I'm better. So go pray to the moon, bark at it, and think of a really clever poem to make me shake in my boots. I've exposed you in the daylight. You may have this great power when you're in a sewer discussing the plumbing system and having human waste drop on your head, but the symbolism is so obvious, you just didn't notice it. You belong in that sewer because you are nothing but a piece of . . . John Leary, I'll be damned. I was getting scared you wouldn't show up. JOHN: Hey. What's up man. (He is wearing a red button-down long sleeve shirt, black vest and black dress pants.) Sharc stands up and they shake hands. John takes Chelsea's hand and kisses it. SHARC: Hey! No kiss for me, bro? JOHN: No way. SHARC: (He laughs.) Oh gee, wait a second, I better explain that to Andy Extreme before he starts to say how much of a homo I am. Andy, that was what we in the human world call, a joke. JOHN: Are you in the middle of a promo? SHARC: Yeah. We just let it roll and put whatever the hell we want on our promos. JOHN: So I've noticed. That's partly why I'm here. They sit down. JOHN: You see, as of late in TWW, there's been somewhat of a problem. And it's not just you, so don't think I'm coming down on you. You see, the people at Fox Sports, well, they're starting to pressure us to get you guys to all stop swearing. Because guys like you, Chase, EOE, Chris Matthews, Andy Extreme and others are all swearing like sailors lately. And, it only makes you guys look like you have no command of the English language. I mean, it doesn't take any thought at all to say f-this and f-that. Call people a piece of crap, but replacing the word crap with four other letters. That isn't imaginative. It makes you, and, us, look like a second rate fed. I'm not telling you not to swear in your own life, just when the cameras are on. You are representing us, and we hate to look like morons. SHARC: Well John, that was very, clear, precise, and I totally agree with you. But let me just counter you with this. Bear in mind the whole time I'll cave in to the censors because censorship rocks. (He clears his throat forcibly.) First of all, all my life, I've been around people who swear. I grew up in this business up north with people who swore out of habit. That is me. I know it's unfortunate, but honestly, I swear without giving a second thought to it. I know that's also true of Chelsea. Cam actually rarely swears, but he also rarely talks. CHELSEA: You think I swear a lot? SHARC: (Beep) yeah. JOHN: Sharc (he says sternly). SHARC: Sorry man. That was a total slip. See. I just say, stuff, without thinking. WORKER: Rich? Your order is ready. SHARC: Great. I'm starving. John, what do you want. Totally on me. JOHN: Uh, I could go for an Italian sub. SHARC: (He gets up and walks to the counter.) And could I get an Italian sub with the works for my friend over there. (He digs into his wallet and pulls out a $5 bill. He takes three wrapped subs back to the table.) There is one turkey sub for you Chelsea, a meatball sub for the big man, and of course, my tuna sub. Sharc's love to eat tuna, John. But anyway (he sits down and opens up his sub.) as I was saying. This topic of censorship and what is and what isn't vulgar is a very tricky one. I mean, think of it like this. Imagine if I came into your office and I'm a big old boring Fox censor. I tell you, you can't use the word, the, anymore. And then he says to me, oh, you also can't use the word and. Those are two of the most common words in the English language, and you know it. Hell, I just used those two words three times in my last sentence. Look back over this tape and take out every and, and every the, and you've got a really bizarre promo. (He takes a big bite of his sub and chews on it.) JOHN: So, you're saying, the f-word to you is as common as saying a word like the. SHARC: Umm-hmm. Now, here is my other point. Besides the fact that I grew up hearing it and saying it. Besides the fact that every kid in school I knew swore like it was going out of style, and besides the fact that we are in a business filled with such pain and heartache that dirty words ooze from our lips with ease, there is another thing I'd simply like to state. And that is this. We, as humans, give WAY too much power to words. There used to be a saying, sticks and stone can break my bones but names can never hurt me. Yet, here in TWW, we are allowed to win our matches with wars of words. JOHN: Uhh, Sharc I think we better turn the camera off. SHARC: What's the matter? Everyone knows the truth. Nobody watching this still believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or that Syth has any talent. CHELSEA: And Andy Extreme. SHARC: You are so sweet. Thank you for reminding me. God, I wish I was that sub right now. JOHN: Uh, Sharc. SHARC: Yes? Oh, right. Look at the system though. Let's shoot, since you love to shoot so much. You love to tell it like it is. Let's do it. Let's break some new ground. Hell, McMahon admitted wrestling is predetermined. Why don't we all just come clean right now and admit that in TWW, a booking committee, headed by you and Miranda, looks over everyone's promos and decides who wins. Is that so bad to say? It doesn't change the fact that we still put on a great show out there in the ring. It doesn't stop people from paying for tickets and buying all our cool merchandise. And when the hell is that stupid TWW Store going to open on our site? JOHN: Err, I don't know. We have a Web site? SHARC: Oh, now you're just being silly. Tidal-wrestling.com. Don't bull, this, with me. WORKER: Italian sub. JOHN: I'll grab it. (He gets up as Sharc and Chelsea eat away at their meal.) SHARC: You see Chelsea, John evaluates the content with Miranda and whoever else happens to be around at the time. That's about the booking committee, isn't it? JOHN: Unfortunately. Damn president is too busy trying to get himself over he won't hire anybody to help me out. But hey, I'm having fun. SHARC: Sure you are. JOHN: I am. SHARC: Now, after hearing all I've had to say about censorship, can I ask you something? JOHN: What? SHARC: How pathetic does Andy Extreme look now? JOHN: What do you mean? SHARC: You saw his promo about censorship, didn't you? JOHN: How does that affect anything now? SHARC: Because it shows his character way too clearly. It was like every other Andy Extreme promo. He just rants on and on and on, saying how great he is. And in that promo, he got, annoyed, that he was being censored. So what's he do? He goes swearing at everyone he comes in contact with. He's a big bad rebel, isn't he? He can swear at someone. JOHN: (With a mouthful of food.) That's my point! It makes him look like an amateur. SHARC: Ahh. I see what you mean then. So, if I maintain an intelligent, even keel, with some risque material, instead of just bludgeoning everyone to death with screaming lies about how extreme I am, I can just tell it like it is. Hell, maybe I can even use smaller words to make Andy understand the points I am trying to make. Hmmm. You know John, I wish YOU had thought of this instead of the censors. But, it's not going to be easy to just stop swearing. I'm going to have to gradually get it out of my system. CHELSEA: Plus there is the other thing. MJ and Pac swear too much. It's because they get really goofy around the camera. They try too hard to put on the show and resort to toilet humor. SHARC: Toilet humor is funny though. Why else is Howard Stern so popular? JOHN: Yes, but, Howard has never sworn on the air that I can remember. He can be disgusting without swearing. SHARC: Dude, that's settled. I have no control over my midgets. JOHN: That was something, actually, the booking committee wanted me to talk to you about. We just don't understand why you need all these people in your promos. SHARC: I don't know what you mean? JOHN: Masked Jobber 2 and Tooth-Pac, do you really need them? SHARC: Yeah. Why? What's wrong with them? JOHN: They don't add anything to your character. SHARC: (He drops his sub.) What are you talking about? JOHN: I mean, looking at your promos, it's like getting the same viewpoint from anybody. SHARC: (He looks up at the ceiling and then leans forward in his chair.) Look John. I just brought them into the equation, what, a week ago? You expect instant character development? Dude, have a little patience. I'm working towards something. I'm doing something a hell of a lot different than the rest of these guys in TWW. I need a lot of characters around me right now John. I need Chelsea. I need Cam. I need Shirley, Victoria, Jenny, MJ and Pac. JOHN: Why? Couldn't you just go with Chelsea and maybe Cam? SHARC: (He groans in frustration.) Dude, I'm working towards something here. I'm trying to get over, and it's hard as hell to do. When I brought this idea up to you a couple of weeks ago, you were like, that sounds funny. That would be cool. You were the one who wanted me to be a face! Don't screw with my head like this. All the other boys in the back do is talk about how great they are. They all make cute little jokes. John, I can't make jokes. I gotta go outside for a second man. (He walks out.) JOHN: Jeez. I didn't mean to upset him like this. CHELSEA: Do you want me to explain to you why he's upset? JOHN: Please. CHELSEA: I've been figuring it out as we go along. Thursday night, we had a really long talk in bed. He was really excited about the match and his chances going in after the fun we all had in the forest. So I asked him then, like you are now, why he wanted such a big group around with him. He said he is doing it to get over with the fans. He's trying to give the fans what HE can't give them. You see, he still doesn't quite get it yet. He's still young in this business. He needs some time to figure out who he is, and how to be successful. He's not going to go out and cut promo after promo saying he's going to send people to hospitals. He doesn't want to cut promos that go on and on about how much extreme abuse he is going to inflict on his opponent. All he wants to do is tell a story. Something nobody else in this company is capable of doing. He has a vision. I mean, what we have seen so far is like three pixels on a computer screen. He's backed the picture all the way out to reveal something big for himself. I don't know what the picture is of, but he does. If I were to guess, I'd say the picture is of him holding up the TWW Title, or the Nations Title, or some title, over his head. But he's not going to say he should get the shot at the title now. He knows he has to earn it. Now, he didn't say this, but I've seen it off camera with MJ2. You see, all the characters so far he has collected represent something to him. His group is like an extension of himself I guess, if that makes sense. And he is one complex guy. Here is my take. First thing is love. Which is me. Then there is Cam. Who is like family and support, they're like brothers. Sharc had a rough family life, he won't even talk about it to me. And he trusts me more than anybody. Then we have MJ2. MJ2 is a reminder of Sharc's past. A really nice guy, who just, well, doesn't have himself all together. See, I think Sharc has himself all together, but he doesn't. And this is something he would never bore the people with, but Sharc is mentoring MJ2. Like Serpent did for Sharc. He's giving back to the business the way the business gave to him. But he doesn't want people to see that side of him. He thinks that makes him look weak, when, I think, it shows his real character. The good Rich. The man I love with all my heart. Tooth-Pac represents the angry side of Sharc. Sharc's teen-age years were hell. He identifies with Tooth-Pac. You see, off camera, Pac has major anger issues. He literally destroyed a hotel room a few nights ago for no reason at all and was acting like he was on PCP. Sharc covered for him. I don't know why. But, again, off camera, Sharc had a long talk with him, and Pac's attitude has been better of late. He's trying to help mature him I guess you could say. Then there are the girls. Shirley, the red head, he's always had a thing for red heads. Jenny, well, she represents to something basic. Something all guys have. Pure lust. And I don't think there is a damn thing wrong with him having the hots for her. She's beautiful. It's just the same for me. There are guys I'm attracted to or whatever, but I love Rich. So, that's everything. JOHN: No, what about Victoria? CHELSEA: (She cringes.) Uh, maybe, she, is, like, a reminder, of. CAM: Lost love. JOHN: What? CAM: One word for you. Georgia. CHELSEA: (Her eyes are watery.) Cam. JOHN: What? CAM: Victoria, the one he refers to as a Greek goddess. I've got to tell you something. I'm the only one in this group who knew Georgia and Victoria. And I'm telling you, they are VERY similar. I'm convinced that is the only reason she is with us. Georgia was Greek. About the same height. Smaller breasts, but everything else is pretty much the same. JOHN: Georgia? His lost love. So, is this his whole group? CHELSEA: I don't know. When we first started collecting people, he said he wanted 12 to follow him. Like Christ. JOHN: Oh hell. He's not still going through with that is he? What are you up to now? Seven? CAM: Yeah. Five more to go. And then there will be a betrayal. JOHN: Oh God. SHARC: You know. One spot that isn't filled, is a spot for a very powerful man. A man who has all the power I wish I had. JOHN: (He turns around.) What are you talking about? SHARC: So, you guys have been having a heavy discussion about my gimmick, huh? Well let me tell you all something. I'm working my ass off here. Now, I've beaten Syth. Tuesday, with the big man, Dysan at my side, as pissed as he is about that stolen title, great angle by the way. JOHN: Wasn't mine. SHARC: Oh? Anyway, just to keep the illusion alive, that Andy Extreme and Syth have a prayer of winning, let me spell it out for you two. You guys have inflated egos. You think you are the best. And when you don't get your way, what do you do? Syth bitches! JOHN: That is not for the air! SHARC: Why not? Syth is a whiny little bitch. Why don't we just let everyone know it. He hates to do jobs. He thinks he should have his hand raised every show. Hell, he doesn't even know the name of the president of this company. Like he is even committed to this fed. The only thing he is committed to is writing bad poetry in really dark places so he can intimidate morons who believe in the boogey man. Syth, Friday, I pulled your ass out into the light. I don't sweat you. Dysan will beat your ass, and so will I. And Andy. Congrats on that big match with EOE. You really showed the world how good you are. You got destroyed, hit one move, and then, payback came. Blood in the water. I told you I would get even with you. You don't interfere in my matches, put your hands on my girls and get away with it. And that is just the start. Andy, we're inside of two weeks until we lock up one on one. Then I will expose you just like I exposed Syth. But on Shockwave, it's a free preview. I get to test you out for a little bit. Now, let's just guess what Andy might say about me. Maybe that I'm a nobody. Maybe that I should stop talking so much and go to a gym. Maybe that I'm not as committed to this business as him. Or maybe he'll laugh and make a joke because I like tuna fish subs. And then, of course, he'll get really nasty and call me a bad dresser. Oooh, Andy, that really hurt. Just about as much as you calling all my girls hookers. At least I can satisfy my girls enough so they don't have to go out and screw the first warm body that walks by the front porch like your ex-wife did. Andy, you resort to name calling. But the facts are on my side. Yeah, you've lost two matches to Dysan. Guess who my partner is? That's right, even a jackass like you can figure out, it's Dysan. A man who YOU can't beat. Hell, I couldn't beat him either, but, he's MY partner. So let's see. Between me and Dysan, we've beat you guys, oh, 3-0. Which means, your asses have zero chance of breaking our string over you guys. Regardless of your boring rants about how extremely dangerous you are, no matter what extreme measures you go to, it won't be enough Andy. Yes, you have talent. But not enough. Anyone can talk tough when you're all alone. But I've backed it up in the ring where it counts. You see, I don't give a, I don't care how much you work out. I don't care how many nice people you swear at just to be shocking. I don't care what you say. There is no way, and I mean, no way, I am going to let you get past me. You see, once you get exposed to be nothing but talk in this business, you're all done. Once the curtain is pulled back on Oz, the mystery is gone. The character is dead. Just like you Andy. You've shown your true face. It is that of a loser. A talented loser, but, a loser nonetheless. So Tuesday, it's warm up time. Send in 20 promos. Scream about how great you and that sewer rat are. Scream about how you are finally going to get the better of one of us. Scream about whatever the hell you want, because nobody cares about you. I'm officially putting my fingers in my ears because nothing you can say will change the fact that Andy Extreme and Syth are going to lose to Dysan and Sharc. I don't have to scream at you guys. Because when I say something, I mean it. Because the louder you are, the less of a case you have. The more obnoxious you are, the shallower you are. The more egotistical, the less soul you have. And I can tell looking at you two, that you have no souls. I can tell looking at you that you are obnoxious. And I would listen to you guys, but I'll have my fingers in my ears. Static |
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