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| OH MY!! ::... Tidal Wave Wrestling, what is Tidal Wave Wrestling? Do you wrestle on the big kahuna while hanging ten on a surfboard? Someone please explain to me, oh yeah first I would like to introduce myself I am Mr. Narrator, I narrate most if not all of Sazuka's promos, some people confuse me with Sazuka, oh no! We are different people; but that's a honest mistake cause Sazuka has three or four different personalities; if you people couldn't already figure it out, my man, your future hero, Sazuka has signed with the TWW. I know most will say "Yeah, so what?" and even a couple will say "Wow! What's that with him?" I can say that's a woman, anyway Sazuka is wiggling out of his current contract with another federation, sure he can do it, besides he was the one holding that federation together and when he leaves, it folds faster than a house of cards -And for anyone who has never heard of Sazuka, he's the man who has won titles in places most of you bums could never get into.. So all he wants is some respect, if you give him that, he might sign an autograph or two for you. So sit back and relax and oh yeah for all the women out there including The Graduate s mom, set your VCR's on record cause the sexy swinger has arrived to save the TWW from total boredom ...:: ((... I bet you want a scene don't you? Well I am thinking dang it.. Oh yeah after receiving the good news about signing with the TWW Sazuka did what most grown men would do. He's going to Disney World!! So to make a long story short him and his lovely valet hopped on a plane out of VA to Orlando to spend a few relaxing days in the magical Kingdom. So there you go. The scene starts off after a commercial about ohhh we'll say 1-800-COLLECT. That good enough? The scene is set outside a rather large and luxurious hotel, you see a nice shot of the beautiful Florida night, complete with stars in the sky, as you stare aimlessly at the TV counting the stars as they flicker through the night. The camera pans down at an alarming rate, then it stops.. And the silence hits you.. Not a sound… nothing.. All that is on your screen is a blur -No don't go fettling with your horizontal and vertical hold on your TV -it's our fault- the camera then focuses in on the hotel, now you can make out that it's a Hilton hotel, What? Did you think Saz would stay at the Donald Duck Dorm? I think not. Anyway the camera then fades out… it fades back in inside one of the hotel rooms in the Hilton, I'll give you one guess who's room it is, NO Scott Lavigne it's not N*SYNC's room sorry bud. It's the one the only Sazuka's hotel room, as your staring at it you do notice it has blue wall to wall carpeting and a kind size bed and even a nice 27" color TV in the corner and probably a shower and bathtub and hot tub too. Anyway the camera pans over and setting in a recliner is Sazuka, he actually looks relaxed as he flips through a couple TV channels. Setting on the edge of the bed is Stacy looking as sexy as ever and NO she isn't naked and NO James Edwards Sazuka isn't naked either. Anyway Sazuka does see the cameraman and looks into the camera and starts to talk ...)) Sazuka: Greetings fellow TWW wrestlers… (Cracks a smile) you bunch of bums. My name is Sazuka and please no Suzuki or motorcycle jokes, I have heard them all.. Understand? Ok then, Sazuka is the name BUT you all can call me… ummmm… well, Sazuka, I know most of you have never heard of me, some of you might of and for the select few that has heard of me Hey man, you actually heard of me? anyway I looked over the TWW roster and I must say we've got some decent wrestlers on the roster huh? Well a couple or so, not too much and well. I am here to save the TWW from total boredom, cause I actually caught a couple promos from a select few TWW so called superstars and I must say…Jeezus! C'mon you guys or girls can do better than that now cant you? I am hoping you can. I came here for one reason and one reason only… competition, I love this great sport that some of you actually give a bad name too, I actually love to wrestle and seeing a TWW card most of you don't even know what wrestling is now do you? I know, I know what most if not all of you're thinking "who the hell is this guy" and if you told me, I'd know now wouldn't I? I am simple another name on the roster I suppose, BUT make no mistake about it, I intend to be the fastest rising star In the TWW or my names not Hank Jones and it's not! I seen some people on the roster like Grand Theft Auto.. Wow! He needs to stop playing Video games and get a date huh? And Fuel and a couple others. And have to, sorry for doing this but laugh! (Fakes a laugh) I mean C'mon people get with the program. Now I am sure there are a couple names their that can actually hold there own in a wrestling ring Stacy: (Interrupting Sazuka) Like…Ummmmm The Graduate?? Sazuka: Umm yeah I suppose, now he looks like a decently intelligent young man, cause well… his name.. Either that or he's as dumb as a mule hoof and took the name cause he was the first one in his family to graduate 4th grade. But I am going to believe he's pretty smart! And he actually does have a title he must be a halfway decent wrestler I guess.. He's smart so what's the meaning of life man? Anyway ummmm I'm almost impressed with you man, I am sure you're a pretty good…ummmm. Whatever champion you are. Stacy: Are you going to earn your paycheck this time or set back and relax? Sazuka: Hey why wrestle? I still get paid without getting into the ring wont I? ::... Let me interrupt Sazuka and Stacy for a moment….. …::: Sazuka: Hey! who was that? Stacy: Your narrator silly Sazuka: Oh yeah I forgot about him and NO you cant interrupt us you bum, I am talking cant you see that or are you one of those invisible narrators? Anyway I guess the time has come for an open challenge I guess! Ummmm so if any of you actually want a match soon, I have an open contract or something, just sign on the line. Anyone would be good, but please no Woody Driver or Syth cause well.. I have a reputation to keep, you understand don't you? Sure you do, so anyone but them two jokers would be nice to get my feet wet in a TWW ring, and by no means am I a rookie, hell I have been doing this "sports entertainment" stuff for years and years, I am a singles wrestler so no stinking tag teams, we really don't even need tag teams they're not quite what they're cracked up to be sometimes. You people know what I mean right? Right? Am I right? Of course I am, when the months roll around and you get to know me you'll realize that I am always and I do mean always right. Anyway I am sure there is someone that wants to get into the ring with a self-made legend like myself right? Oh of course I am.. OR at least one of you on the roster that would like to shut my pie hole up huh? HA! Easier said than done I might add, OR I could just set in the back and watch you people TRY to wrestle in the ring and laugh and pick up a pay check either way is fine by me cause I am here JUST like all of you on the roster to make a name for myself and maybe, just maybe one day be the TWW champion, now doesn't that sound cool? TWW champion Sazuka? You better believe it does and make no mistake about it, I will become champion in due time, in due time. I have a lot pf patient's boys/girls/goats, I can wait for a very, very long time for a title shot, BUT right now I just want to get started in the TWW. So if anyone on the roster would like a match, and seeing your last TWW show you sure as heck need a decent match, just sign the contract to wrestle me.. Understand? I am a reasonable man, I can do any kind of match. Hardcore, cage, weapons, or my personal favorite…PLAIN old one on one match up! And all you have to do is jot your name on the dotted line, and if you cant spell your name I am sure Mr. Swift will give you some help! Stacy: Mr. Swift? Sazuka: You know, the owner, the big cheese, the main man.. Hmmm I wonder if he is related to Stephanie Swift? Stacy: And WHO is that? Sazuka: A porno star, and might I add a nice looking groovy chick too ((... Stacy gives Sazuka a evil look but is interrupted by the door bell… "BUZZZZZZZZ" see only a Sazuka promo has them neat-o sound effects huh? Anyway, Sazuka gets up and walks over to the door, he peeks through the little privacy hole and then opens the door.. Its room service and I might say it's about gosh darn time too.. I think he ordered room service about 2 hours ago.. Service in this place is as slow as Dyson in the ring.. Sazuka lets the man in ...)) Bell Boy: Room service, were you want it sir? Sazuka: Just roll it over there will be fine… I guess… so how much is room service here? Bell Boy: 250 plus gratuity sir Sazuka: (Looking at the kid about like Shawn Chase looks at a 3rd grade IQ test) 250? Sheet! That's a lot BUT I'll put it on the TWW personal account, IF that's okay with you my good man, and give yourself ohhh a hundred sound good? Bell Boy: YES SIR, that is great, thank you sir... thank you! Sazuka: Hey! You want my autograph? Bell Boy: Can i get it on a 50 dollar bill? Sazuka: Ummm sorry... thats all...go away now, please ((... Sazuka pushes the kid out the door, the greedy little monster anyway.. anyhoo, Sazuka looks over room service. And you can see just a bottle of champagne on ice and some crackers or something, Sazuka grabs a whine glass and picks up the bottle and pops the cork.. "PPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOP" see nifty isn't it? Wow! He pours him a glass then pours Stacy a glass.. Sazuka takes a sip and makes a ugly face then walks back over and sets back down …)) Sazuka: Yeah I'm back…Miss me? I bet you did didn't you? I know some have already forgotten about me huh? So let me refresh your memory.. I am Sazuka and I want a stinking match here in TWW. It's that simple, so simple that even the people on the TWW roster can understand it, cause it wont be long before I am the main man in the TWW and you all know it's true -just give me some time, I have the talent and the ability to do anything I desire and that my friends is the truth! Oh sure, I'll wrestle some incompetent no names for a while, then after I prove to the TWW head office people that I am the best, I'll get my shot at TWW stardom it's just a matter of time and believe you me I can do it! So all you need to do is set back and relax and enjoy the ride that only I can give you, a ride that will be the greatest experience of your short lived, pathetic lives! Got it? Good! ::... Oh you people better believe that he is a great athlete and one day in the near future my man Sazuka, and of course your future hero will become the main man in the federation BUT before that he must show the TWW guys what he can do, and just incase some of you inbred cattle rustlers have forgotten Sazuka has an open contract and would like a match …:: ((... Sazuka finishes off his glass of champagne then gets up to get another one, he smiles in to the camera then gives a little smirk as the scene fades out …)) *** Fade to Black *** |
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