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| The picture comes on and it appears that you are at the entrance to somewhere. The camera looks up to view an arch that is hanging over the path inside. The arch reads 'Welcome to Bob's Crazy Golf Course!'. At the ends of the arch are some balloons and brightly coloured ribbons. The cameraman walks inside the crazy golf park and looks about inside. Inside there are at least 18 holes with all manner of things like castles, windmills, ships and other strange objects. The cameraman continues walking and sees an old couple playing on the first hole. The old lady is wearing a flowery dress with a small handbag, and appears to have a hearing aid. However you can also see that there are multiple veins sticking out of her skin on her legs, and that there is loads of slack flab on backs of her upper arms. The man is wearing an old style tweed suit. The camera moves slightly closer to over hear what they are saying. Old man: "Shall I go first Iris?" Old woman: "You what? What did you say?" Old man: "I said shall I go first?" Old woman: "Look I don't care if you are dying of thirst your not going to the pub. Look are we going to start this game of golf or what?" Old man: "Look you start, go right ahead." Old woman: "You wish I was dead! Well I have never heard such a think. What has gotten into you Sid? Saying you wish I was dead! (She then lashes out and hits him over the back with her hand bag) I thought we came out to have a good day and then you say something like that. Now lets say no more of it and lets play." Old man: "Come on then Iris, you just line up the shot. Then make sure you hit it quite hard as you have to get it over the hill." Old woman: "I heard that! So now you think that I am over the hill do you. Well I am not to old you give you a good smacking!" The old woman then starts repeatedly hitting the old man over his back with here handbag. The man is trying to defend himself and is covering his head. The woman then stops and looks at Sid and starts talking. Old woman: "Look you have spoilt the day now with all your hateful comments. You have really upset me. I am going back home now. You can come home now or stop here." Old man: "Look I didn't say any of those things, you just misheard what I said." Old woman: "So if you haven't upset me enough already you are calling me a liar. I know what I heard! I maybe ninety two years old but I aren't crazy yet." The woman then sets off walking towards the entrance, with Sid following her and he can be heard shouting after her. Old man: "Come back Iris, I am sorry! Look I will go and buy you some nice cod liver oil, you like that don't you. Or how about when we get back I pour you an nice big glass of prune juice. That's your favourite. Oh, honey come back, please." The couple are now outside the entrance to crazy golf park and are almost out of sight. The camera then begins to start panning round the park. It then sees a masked guy about to start playing crazy golf by himself on the last hole. The cameraman then realises that it is Smasher and is who he has been looking for. He sets off towards Smasher to hear from him. It takes a few seconds and the picture is bouncing around slightly as the cameraman is running to get to Smasher before he starts playing. Smasher looks up just before he is about to take his first shot on the last hole and sees the TWW cameraman running in his direction. The cameraman arrives slightly out of breath and looks up at Smasher. Smasher then begins to speak. Smasher: "Hello there sports fans, we are here today at Bob's crazy golf course. Now all of you out there may not understand why I have come here to do my latest interview, it is in fact a simple answer, which is that I have a match on Friday against Woody Driver. However before I address that match I would just like to comment upon what took place last night on Shockwave. I was in a 3 way tables match where to win you had to put both of your opponents through a table. My opponents where scheduled to be The Natural Nathan Stryker and James Edwards. I say scheduled because in the end it was me facing James Edwards. Simon and Amanda were thinking up ideas for a slogan for TWW. Well the WWF like to say that anything can happen in the WWF, how about for TWW it says anything WILL happen in TWW. At the time I was a bit upset that Nathan Stryker dropped out of our match, because I was looking forward to beating him up for the second time, only this time he would go through a table. I now know the reason why didn't wrestle and that was because he was shown the TWW exit, and was fired. Well I could say that he will be a great loss but that would mean I would be speaking more B.S. than Syth when he is saying his poems. So then my match was one on one with James Edwards with the winner having to put their opponent through two tables. James Edwards your nickname is 'The one, The only', but what are you 'The one, The only' of? Well it could be that you are the one and only disgrace to wrestling. Or how about the one, the only holder of the biggest losing streak. Well what ever it is that you are the one and the only of it certainly isn't anything good. The match that we had I decide not to waste and time finishing you off and remaining undefeated. I decided to end the match by stacking two tables one on top of the other and putting you through them. At one point I bet everyone including you thought that I was going to see my body smash through the tables, with a huraconrana. But I had you just where I wanted you, and you played into my hands. I let you think that you could see light at the end of the losing tunnel and that you might win, but then I stopped messing around and got serious to powerbomb you through both tables. Well all I can say is that you now truly can call yourself the king of being put through tables. Especially after it happening two shows in a row. Now moving on from the king of being put through tables, to someone who calls himself the King of Golf. That person is Woody Driver, oh and don't forget that little chump that licks his arse for him once he has had a visit to the toilet that goes by the name Prescott. I will face you on Lightning this Friday in a Golf Club on a Pole match. Now as everyone knows I am the King of Gimmick Matches and have fought in all manner of gimmick matches and make up my own. But even this is a new one for me, however what it still comes down to is that it is a gimmick match. It wouldn't matter what was on the pole whether it was a brick, or a night stick, or a kendo stick, or even that little excuse for human life Prescott, I would still win. With or without climbing up the pole for the golf club I will pin you. I realise that in this match there are no disqualifications, and that means that your chum or caddy, what ever he is supposed to be, can come in a give you a hand. You said that you might even get him to get the club for you, well I don't blame you for needing help because it will take more than just you to beat me, but be warned that if Prescott does get involved and gets in my face, he will receive the same treatment as you, whether it is during the match or once it has ended it, he will get his. Remember I have warned you. You also said that you have respect for me, but not to say one wrong word or it will be lost. Well, I couldn't care less about if you respect me or not, but I am guessing that once you have seen this I will no longer have your respect. But in the end your respect means nothing, after our match you will have respect for me because you know that you just aren't good enough to beat me. Then you will fear me and hope never to face me again, hoping that you never cross paths with me the one man wrecking machine again. Now I know this match won't we a walk in the park because you did show signs in you first match that you aren't to bad in the ring. But I intend on staying undefeated and making it 3 and 0. We both are undefeated at the moment but one of us won't be after the end of the night. But remember that win of yours was against new comers, and I also know that my victories haven't been against the best this federation has to offer but, I am prepared to put in the hard work and climb up the ladder and go through each and everyone of the wrestlers on the roster. Another thing that you need to be told is that golf has no place in the wrestling ring and I will prove that to you. You seem to be only concerned with winning a stupid golf tournament and not on your next opponent or career in TWW. I don't know if you are trying to be some sort of double sports star, but if you are let me just mention one name and remember what happened to him. The name is Bob 'Sparky Plugg' Holly, or you might remember him as Thurman 'Sparky' Plugg. I don't think I need to say any more about him do I. You want to be quoted that that you don't want to lose you golf club that is so precious to you on Friday. I can tell you now that you won't loss it, in fact you will get quite close to it, because it will be smashed around your head. Now to show that you suck at golf as well as wrestling I am going to show you how it should be done. Now this is the final hole, take a good look at it, I am going to get a hole in one. The ball will travel up through the castle drawbridge, then along the bridge over the water, through the moving mountains and passed the windmills before landing in the hole. I hope you are watching. " With that Smasher places his club at the side of the ball, he looks at the castle and waits for the draw bridge to lower so he can play the shot. Smasher draws back the club to take the shot as the picture fades to black. |
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