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| ** The scene opens aboard the Matthews One, which is The Real F’N Deal Chris Matthews private jet plane. The TWW cameraman is walking through the luxurious plane, that is better looking than any working class Joe’s house. He spots the blonde hair of Chris sitting in a beautiful white leather chair, the cameraman closes in to see he’s studying the tape of Shockwave, so he can prepare for the match. Chris without looking at the camera holds up his left hand and waves it to suggest for the cameraman to come over, naturally the cameraman agrees and comes over to see Chris with an angry look on his face; the camera turns to the T.V where it shows Chris going through the table. ** Chris: Okay maybe it’s just me but I don’t remember anyone saying it was a no-DQ match on Shockwave. Look E.O.E powerbombs me through a table and where’s the referee? If it’s anything like Earl Hebner he’s taking a mid match sleep, but c’mon. I’m getting screwed week in week out by referee’s when is it gonna stop? Maybe when I agree that America is a cool country after all the referee’s are American’s… NO F—KING CHANCE ! The referee’s in this federation are racists they discriminate me for being a foreigner, for being British, for having a degree and a damn good visa. I have a good feeling to sue Martin Swift for this but the jackass is a few cans short of a six-pack. What a freakin’ lot of good. I hate to sound like Bret Hart but it’s so damn true that I’m getting messed about by the powers that be, just so a second rate wrestler can be in a main event. Where’s the logic? **Chris grabs his glass of white wine from the table next to his chair, heplaces it in his left hand and takes a small sip outta it, then puts it to one side so he can brush back his blonde hair with his hand, and adjust his chair slightly. ** Chris: Take a look at this bullcrap ** Chris re-winds the DVD of Shockwave in his player to the point of Amanda, Kris Cole’s head giving buddy, commentating on the match. He stops it then presses play** Amanda: [From DVD] Isn't the rumour that they go both ways? ** Chris freezes the frame after Amanda has spoken, then surprisingly calmly he leans towards the camera, and chuckles** Chris: Me. Gay? With Suicide? YOU MUST BE FREAKIN’ JOKING Why would I be gay with Suicide of all people? I’m a married man, and he has a girlfriend, you know brunette, nice legs, big you know what! Anyway what kind of sick person would be gay with his or her broth… forget I said that , let me just say I am not a homosexual, or a homosexual with Suicide, my America’s Most Wanted buddy. That’s like saying E.O.E parents aren’t siblings, when by judging from their son, they have to be. Speaking of E.O.E he’s been an annoying pain in the @ss recently. Two weeks ago we were on the same page of you don’t f—k with America’s Most Wanted and we don’t f—k with you, but now he wants to play an American Hero, suddenly he thinks he’s the evil version of Hulk Hogan fighting the rights of everyman and women. Well I’m sorry all you epitomaniacs but I hate Hulk Hogan. I wish I could have gone to WCW and beaten the hell outta him, but I couldn’t but thanks to Hulk Evil I get the next best thing, to prove to the whole damn world why I am The Greatest Now coming up is the Tidal Wave Wrestling pay per view "Mind Games". Now despite ripping off the same name from the WWF, the ppv will be a great one. I thought nothing can top me fighting my arch enemy Jake West like I did at the last ppv Critical Conditions. But the thought of me putting my foot down Scooby Doo’s throat is pretty good. Then Graduate I’m gonna ram your head so far up your anal hole you can chew his food on the way down! And if you think that’s bad Scooby then you can kiss your title goodbye and hand it to me now, because either way that belt WILL be around my waist, does not matter if it happens today, tomorrow, or Sunday the bottom line is this you are looking at the next Nations Champion junior so the question is this Graduate: Do you want your beating now or later? ** Chris composes himself and turns back to the camera to finish off his piece. ** Chris: Finally this one is going out to Byron Swift. If I or Suicide find out you’re the one behind these messages that Louie is receiving, your life will not be worth living. Understood ** Chris waves his hand to signal to the cameraman to go elsewhere, as he placing and blindfold around his eyes, adjust the chair to bed position and heads off the slumberland. The scene fades to black** |
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