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| An English motel ::Snake Eyes awakes from a somewhat deep slumber in a quaint motel somewhere in England:: Snake Eyes: What is going on? Where the heck am I? ::Snake Eyes picks up the little motel card on the wooden table next to his bed:: Snake Eyes: The crazy shack? What the heck? I can't remember anything? ENGLAND? How in the world did I end up in England? I don't belong here, I'm from the United States, I'm not ENGLISH!!! ::Someone screams in the next room and a maid wearing an outfit similar to those that were worn in the 1960 hippy days. She asks him a question:: Snake Eyes: What'd you call me? Lady: I said what's wrong with your groovy self? You were acting a little strange yesterday, what was going on? ::Suddenly the "Crazy Shack" part of it all snaps in Snake Eyes' head. But he's still extremely confused about his surroundings:: Snake Eyes: I honestly have no clue. ::Snake Eyes; facial expression changes from one of a serene man to that of a crazy person:: Snake Eyes: I belong here, now get out! ::He tosses a plate at her, then becomes his normal self again. His hands start to shake:: Snake Eyes: W-W-What's g-going on? What's wrong with me? What did I just do? I gotta get out of here... ::Realizing something's wrong he goes to get his bags, then realizes the clothes are all strewn apart and he must collect them before he can go anywhere:: Snake Eyes: Jeez, what's going on here? Is there something wrong with me? ::After collecting all of his stuff he grabs all his bags and walks out of his room into one of the strangest hall ways he has ever seen. Everything is hippy here, a picture of Austin Powers is on the wall behind the check out counter. Surprisingly, the lady who checked on him in his room is doing the checkout counter. She gives him a dirty look:: Snake Eyes: Oh, umm, I'm sorry. I haven't been myself lately. Lady: Well, I hope not, you've been acting like a wild animal in there. Won't even let us clean your room. ::Snake Eyes looks shocked and doesn't know what to say:: Snake Eyes: Oh, sorry. I want to check out. I don't belong here. Lady: Oh, yeah, sure. Don't go crazy on me though. ::It happens again, his facial expression changes and he goes wild:: Snake Eyes: Who's crazy? I'm not crazy! Give me my receipt. ::The girl screams and quickly pulls the receipt out of the register and hands it to him. Snake Eyes runs out of the motel without a second thought. Sanity returns and Snake Eyes, shaking, looks for his Lambourghini:: Snake Eyes: Where is it? It has to be somewhere. Gosh darn it, I'm in ENGLAND!!! This has got to be the gayest country ever. ::He walks about 2 miles to the nearest gas station. He walks in. When he walks in, he notices something funny. People are staring at him strange and the old, overweight, cashier pulls out his shotgun and points it at him:: Snake Eyes: Hey hey, buddy. What's wrong? ::The man responds with a very rich English accent:: Cashier: Reports of a crazy man who assaulted a woman over at the crazy shack. They don't know who he'll attack next. This has been going on for a while. You match the description, but you don't seem crazy to me. ::He puts the gun down. Snake Eyes looks up at the television, it's a picture of him with the name "Elmer Fudd" under it. Realizing that he must've been crazy when he got his room, he laughs slightly:: Cashier: Why're you laughing? ::Snake Eyes realizes that Elmer Fudd must not be as popular in England as he is in the US. The cashier pulls his gun out again. Snake Eyes panicks:: Snake Eyes: Hold on, I didn't want trouble. It's just an American joke. Elmer Fudd is the name of an American cartoon. Don't shoot. ::The cashier, realizing Snake Eyes' temporal sanity, puts the gun back down. People in the gas station look at him funny:: Cashier: Ok, so why are you here? You want a candy bar or something? ::The store finds it funny, but Snake Eyes doesn't quite get it. He keeps telling himself to keep a level head. He laughs along:: Snake Eyes: Candy bar! Heh, that's a good one. Actually I need directions to the airport. ::The people in the gas station think this is funny too:: Man: Oh, haha. He thinks there's an airport here! Maybe he is crazy! ::Snake Eyes is confused:: Snake Eyes: Oh, yeah. I was kidding. But, err, how DO you get out of here? ::The people in the gas station become strangely silent and look at him again:: Snake Eyes: Umm, I can get out of here, right? ::The cashier is the only one brave enough to speak:: Cashier: Yes, there is. 200 miles from here is London. I'm sure you can leave from there. ::This seems to have solved the matter for everyone but Snake Eyes, who stays in the gas station:: Snake Eyes: Umm, can I get a ride from someone? ::They all look gravely at Snake Eyes. They're confused of his intentions. But one of the men volunteers:: Man: Umm, sure. I'll do it. I'm on my way anyhow. ::Snake Eyes didn't realize before that this man is also American. From somewhere in the south:: Snake Eyes: Thank you very much, I'm appreciative of your generous virtuosity. ::The men looked confused again:: Snake Eyes: Oh, nevermind. ::Snake Eyes steps outside with his driving mate and he looks at him. He outstretches his hand toward the man:: Snake Eyes: Hi, what's your name? ::The man smiles and shakes Snake Eyes' hand:: Man: I'm Sandy, Sandy Johnson. What's yours? ::Snake Eyes thinks for a moment. Sandy opens his car door. Snake Eyes smiles warmly. But just before he can answer the earlier question, his eyes change color and that insane look sweeps over his face:: Snake Eyes: My name's... Elmer Fudd! ::Sandy Johnson laughs at what he thought was a joke until he looks in Snake Eyes' eyes. Before Sandy can react, he's laid out on the ground by the professional wrestler. Snake Eyes steals his keys and starts the ignition. The cashier realizes the theft too late and his shotgun round falls short of the speeding target of the car. Serenity returns to Snake Eyes face, but not for long. He's scared about what he did:: Snake Eyes: I just stole a car, I just stole a car! I STOLE A CAR!!! ::Obviously having no idea where he's going, Snake Eyes just keeps going straight on the highway for about an hour until he sees an exit to the airport. He is shocked when he sees police cars surrounding the airport. Trying to remain cool and collected he calmly drives up to the entrance where a middle aged policeman is standing guard:: Officer: Sorry, I can't let you through. The airport isn't allowing anyone else in. ::Snake Eyes starts to get annoyed, but keeps his cool:: Snake Eyes: Sir, please let me through, my flight leaves in 5 minutes and my family is already in there. ::The looks of the policeman changes quickly and this excuse seemed to have a good effect. The officer reluctantly waves him on and Snake Eyes pulls up in the no parking zone. He jumps out of the car and walks in the building. He digs in his pocket, and to his surprise he already has a ticket back home. He just walks to the gate and hops in the plane. Everything goes smoothly and the plane is high in the air when a stewardess comes by:: Stewardess: Hello, would you like anything to drink sir? How would you like some peanuts? ::The wild look comes to Snake Eyes' eye once again. He's trying to fight it, but can't:: Snake Eyes: I'd like some blood to drink. ::The stewardess must have a hearing problem, because she didn't hear when the other people looked at him strangely. Snake Eyes returns to normal:: Stewardess: What's that? I'm deaf in my left ear. Snake Eyes: Oh, I'm sorry. I'd like a Coca-Cola. ::She hands him the drink and the plane ride continues blissfully. It's soon over and Snake Eyes steps on the plane:: Cop: Jim Payton aka Snake Eyes, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can, and will be held against you in a court of law... ::The police officer appeared out of no where and surprised Snake Eyes marginally:: Snake Eyes: What, I didn't do anything, what are you talking about? Cop: You can explain it all to me when we get to the police station. Now come with me. ::He slaps on handcuffs and Snake Eyes holds his head low so no one sees, or recognizes him:: Fade to Black... |
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