Home Contact [History} About Roster Title history [Promos] Pre-Critical Conditions Pre-Mind Games Last days [TV and PPV] Archive |
 |
|
|
|
|
| [The scene opens on the front lawn of a semi-large house. A baby blue Dodge Viper starts to pull out of the driveway. The camera zooms in and the driver can be seen as Chris Stevens, and the passenger is Jason Shayne. The car begins to go down the road.] (Camera cut to backseat) Chris: Finally. A day off. Jason: No kidding, this is going to be great! We can do whatever we want, whenever we want. And nobody can stop us. Chris: Damn straight, brotha! What should we do first? Jason: I dunno. Chris: Let's go to Wal-Mart and get some munchies for the day! Jason: Sounds good to me. [The scene fades out then back in in front of the Wal-Mart store. Stevens and Shayne are just entering the store.] Chris: Where's the snack section? Jason: (pushing the cart) I dunno...wait, there it is. Chris: Let's go! [Chris runs to the aisles as Jason sighs and walks over with the cart. Chris emerges suddenly out of one aisle with six bags of Oreo cookies in his arms. He runs to the cart and dumps them all in.] Jason: We don't need that many bags! Chris: Sure we do! Why don't we? Jason: Nevermind. Grab some pop and chips. [Chris once again runs back into the aisles. The camera follows and he is seen literally sweeping bags of chips off the shelf and into his hands. Soon he has at least ten bags of chips.] Jason: Are you out of your mind? Chris: I suppose. (Dropping bags into cart) Jason: I am going to get the pop. Chris: Fine. Spoil all my fun. [Jason goes along a shelf and grabs two bottles of pop, a Coke and a Pepsi.] Chris: You are so bland, man! And only two?! Jason: We don't need that much. Chris: Okay, okay. Get some sense into you. Watch the master. [Chris goes back to the shelf and grabs one bottle, throws it down the aisle into the cart, grabs another, hurls it into the cart, and so on until the cart is full with Oreos, chips and Pop.] Jason: The cashier is going to think we're insane. Chris: Just tell her it's me. It's not like you'd be lying or anything. [They approach one of the lines and walk up to the cashier. She looks down at the cart, back up at Jason, then back down at the cart with a weird look on her face.] Chris: Don't worry, ma'am. I'm a snack addict. I've got Dr. Pepper in my blood. Cashier: Um...O.K.... [Jason sighs and begins to load things onto the little conveyor belt thing until everything has been scanned by the cashier.] Cashier: The total comes to $103.42. Chris: That's too expensive. Let's put some stuff back. Jason: I never thought I'd hear it from you. [He digs into his wallet and hands the lady five $20 bills, and a $5 bill. He takes his change and starts to load everything back into the cart.] Chris: You rock, man! [Jason begins to push the cart out of the store. When he walks up to the automatic door, it doesn't open.] Jason: Yoo hoo! (waving arms) Chris: Stupid camera. Here. [Chris grabs a bag of chips and throws them at the camera. Nothing happens. The man standing at the front of the store begins to speak.] Man: Excuse me, sir. Please do not throw your products at the camera. Chris: It's not working! (hurling another bag) Jason: Chill out, dude! We'll use the manual door. Chris: Oh. right. [They begin to wedge through the door but because things are sticking out of the cart, pop bottles and bags begin to get knocked off the cart.] Chris: Crap! Stupid things. Jason: I told you we didn't need so many things you geek. Chris: Hey, shutup. I'm hungry. Jason: Just pick them up. [Chris starts to pick everything up when a little girl with one of those little "Junior Shopper" cart things comes through the door and bumps into Chris as he bends down to pick up everything.] Girl: Please move, mister. Chris: Hold on, sweetie. [Chris contiunes to pick up things in his arms.] Girl: Can you please hurry up mister? Chris: I'm going as fast as I can, dear. [Chris still picks up things off the floor. Meanwhile, Jason is leaning on the cart, looking at the ceiling.] Girl: HURRY UP WILL YOU?!! Chris: HOLD ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [The girl looks at her mother and begins to cry. Her mother's face turns red and she kicks Chris in the back. He jumps out of the doorway and she picks up her girl, turns up her chin and walks out of the store.] Jason: Ha-HA!! You just got your ass kicked by a chick!! Chris: Screw you. [Chris, who had everything scattered all over after jumping out of the doorway, begins to pick up everything again. Jason looks up at the ceiling once more and begins to pick at his fingernails in boredom. The scene fades to black.] |
|
|