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| **Scene opens up in a house show, I know TWW doesn't have house shows and I know you're thinking, where is the excitement, the drama and the awe inspiring interview? Well if you want that go check out a Sazuka promo, BUT if you want a half assed piece of elephant crap that gets you a TWW world title keep watching, there is actually no one in the ring at the time, then out walks Sazuka's lackey Emmit. You don't know Emmit do you? Well here he is in all his glory as he walks up to the ring** Emmit: Hey wrestling fans it's me Emmit Nerson, better know as Sazuka's lackey to tall you that the next Sazuka promo will be here shortly NOT to worry, but didn't you love his TWW debut match? You know you did.. NOW he has to wrestle some golfing goof named Woody Driver, let me ask you this Mr. Swift! What did Sazuka ever do to you? Huh? Huh? Woody Driver? C'mon, I could take Woody Driver…. But anyway looks like my hero, your hero and the future of the TWW is going to be two and zero come Tuesday night eh? **Scene fades out, I know you're excited and well... you should be your hero is coming up!!!** ::... Incase you people didn't catch Friday Night Lightning. It was a tremendous Show -Well the first match was anyway, after that the ratings dropped lower than Woody Drivers IQ- I mean didn't Sazuka make quick work of Wako and Winters? Sazuka just dropped Wako on his head and he was out -I mean we figured Wako had nothing upstairs so dropping him on his empty cranium wouldn't hurt him I guess we was wrong. Poor guy was sad cause his toy was hanging up in the rafters -awe Do you people actually remember them "My Buddy Dolls?" wow! I stopped playing with "dolls" when I found out what women were. But that'll come in about 15-20 years Wako, until then play with your "Buddy Doll and keep on Wakko'n - and Winters? Wow! Sazuka takes it as an insult really to be put in the same ring with them jokers. I mean that was the only good part to the whole show. You think anyone cares that Grand Theft Auto beat up a woman? -Pssst GTA- women are cool. I know you guys were a bit confused when you saw a woman, but sheesh guys, you cant be near thirty and still be virgins can you? I know Mustang is the Vice president of the Celibacy section to the virgin for life club, but sheesh, someone belt was stolen? Ha! Big deal Dysan, just go to Wal*mart were you got them 5 dollar pants-NOT to mention your 2 dollar wrestling ability- and buy a new belt, but all in all Sazuka had a great debut match. And what's next for him? TWW's own Tiger Woods, Woody Driver. And Sazuka hates golf. It's pointless, stupid and boring -about like Woody Driver. But hey! They say the best way to get to know your opponent is to study them, so what did Sazuka do? He's going golfing! ...:: ((... The scene opens up outside a miniature golf course. As the camera pans around you can see the sign "Old Sam's Miniature Golf Haven" -the place is rather busy at the moment. With people and kids seemingly having a good time. Sazuka should force them to watch a Woody Driver promo and ruin there day huh? Last I heard they were using them Woody promos as a means of torture in third world countries, anyway. While Sazuka thinks that the sport of golf is about as exciting as Woody Driver himself he does rather like miniature golf. I mean who doesn't like a good old time hitting a little ball through tunnels and Windmills and Woody's mom…errrr big old Black hole from outer space. It's a good way to relax and unwind if you ask me. But anyway you see Sazuka and Stacy at I think it's hole 5 -huh? It's hole 4? Okay, okay my bad -hole 4 it is. You see them as Sazuka takes the little putter and smacks the ball… it rolls up a little hill through a castle and out the other side, BUT the draw bridge prevents it from going in the hole -Sazuka throws the club down and yells. Stacy laughs and puts away. She gets a better hit then him and even know you know them miniature gold courses are as rigged as Shawn Chases matches, Stacy gets a hole in one. She smiles at Sazuka and he actually looks pissed, the camera then pans in and they start talking ...)) Sazuka: Man, you know this dang thing hates me, I get all the bad hits.. I tell you there is a guy controlling them things and he likes you. It's probably Donavon Winters in his new job cause after Friday night he found out wrestling wasn't his thing. Stacy: Oh heck Rob, stop your complaining man, I am just better than you is all, I mean playing miniature golf isn't as easy as beating Wako and Winters now is it? Sazuka: Ha! Changing channels on a TV isn't as easy as beating them guys! I mean what ingrates the announcers were I am not a car. That's a Suzuki… NOT Sazuki got it? I am not some sort of alcoholic beverage a Canadian calls God. I'm a wrestler, plain and simple. GTA are cars. OR a cheap rip off of a lame video game. Cant please everybody I don't guess; NOW I have to wrestle some sort of PGA tour caddy named Woody Driver. OUCH! If I were he I'd smack my mom for giving me a Woody…Errrrr I mean naming me Woody. I mean WHO plays golf and lets people KNOW by taking a golf like name? I guess. I mean I shouldn't complain about the booking in the TWW but c'mon guys? Woody Driver, who's next Samuel Sand wedge or Ned Nine Iron? Let ole Woody go back to the sand trap on the back nine somewhere and book me in a match with a real wrestler is that too much to ask? I mean I even wrestle him again at the PPV. I know I should be thankful I even got on a TWW PPV but c'mon! I mean that's like Winters saying "The Snowball effect will take place and there is nothing any of you can do to stop it from happening" yeah nothing but slap on my finisher and watch him tap out like the 4th rate wrestler he is. NOW he's probably back bagging groceries at a 7-eleven or something, I mean Woody driver? He does the opposite of what Midol does for a woman, and if you don't know what I am talking about Woody go and ask your mom -or dad. Or both dads and a sheep. But Woody old man, I watched your last interview -NOT by choice I mind you, but just to get the jest of what you are capable of doing and after slipping in a coma halfway through it I got the conclusion that yes, yes you are as boring as golf. What actually pisses me off is I don't even get any recognition here at all. Does anyone KNOW I am here? Stacy: Well you've only been here a little over a week sweetie you have to give them time Sazuka: Yeah well I know that but sheesh people. Look around you will you? Who you have? James Edwards? Ha! Was better than him 3 years ago, my 4 year old son is better than him, can spell better too sheesh! Suicide? Ya know how he got that name? You'll want to commit suicide when you see his promo, have seen women better than him, Shawn Chase? Sure he's the champ but c'mon, I've been in places were he'd be a curtain jerker! High Class? My phone and TV are a better tag team then that…. The only way I can figure it out is there all a little band of friends I guess Stacy: Give it time; you have no patients what so ever Sazuka: Well good thing I only signed for a month huh? Maybe something better will come up before my TWW contract runs out. then I can go back to wrestling the greats instead of people like Woody Driver. Actually thought TWW would be kind of cool. Go somewhere and make a name for myself and go to the top.. Then it came to me, that's bullshit, I took 3 years to make a name for myself and I am not about to start all over again. I do have to stop and look and ask myself is it worth it? Being supposedly outclassed by wrestlers who couldn't hold a candle to me? Starting all over? I came to the conclusion of HELL its not worth it… is it? I don't think so. ((... A man and woman, who obviously want to play through the 4th hole seem a bit frustrated at our hero -the man approaches Sazuka and starts to talk ...)) Man: Excuse me you! My girlfriend and me would like to PLAY the damn game, quit your yapping and go!! Sazuka: Huh? Oh? I was just conduction an interview for wrestling, I mean don't you watch TV? I'm ummmm Woody Driver… yeah that's me, the golfing wrestler with PMS.. Man: Look! I don't care who you are… what? You're Woody Driver? Ohhh my Goooooooosh…… ((... Sazuka shakes his head, BUT before he can even talk again he looks around and both the man and woman are asleep -yeah right on the 4th hole tee. Amazing isn't it? Woody Driver that damn boring? Sheesh. Sazuka then gives an amazed look then laughs ...)) Sazuka: Hey what do you know it worked, pretending to be Woody actually put them people to sleep… wow! That's king of amazing isn't it? Look Woody my boy, I will put you in my finisher and make your sorry, boring, pathetic and some what mediocre butt tap out JUST like Donavon Winters, Sure Winters isn't you -and I'm sure he's thanking God right now for that, but it makes no difference who it is really. When I lock it in and you wiggle in pain, screaming and a crying like a 4 year old wanting his bottle I will hear you tap out and you know it punk. And you actually think I have to use it to win? I don't think so. Cause unlike you. Whom usually uses a golf club to cheat with, I can win with more than one move. I actually saw your match, honestly it was a toss up between your match and the Brady Bunch on Nickelodeon.. Okay, okay, the Brady bunch won, BUT I saw a tape of your match and I might say that you don't impress me. So your two and zero -BIG deal really. Who did you beat? Smasher? Ha! That's a good one, he stinks almost as much as you do -you honestly think you can beat me Woody? Ha! Go ahead and call me a super soaker. Only think you can soak is Prescott's tongue with your ummmm well I cant say it on TV cause I am a gentleman, oh the heck with it… Woody I don't care what your record is, I don't care who you have beaten cause come this Tuesday night I am going to kick them little golf balls of your all over the damn ring. And if necessary slap on my finisher and watch you tap out like the butt-pirate you are, BUT my advise to you Woody Driver is to just go back to playing that boring, pointless, cure for insomnia sport, and No I don't mean your promo, I mean GOLF! Cause after Tuesday I will be two and zero and you? Ha! You'll be two and one… then from there fifteen and one….cause man, I am just to darn good for you and YOU know it Stacy: He actually called you a super soaker? That's a new one! He probably sat up half the night coming up with that one.. although Prescott probably sat up with him… Sazuka: Argh! I cant believe them 4th grade drop outs cant get my name right, BUT I'll help you out Woody.. Goodness knows you need it, so pay close attention Woody, I am only going to say this once, and its Sazuka got it? Sazuka, S-A-Z-Hey Woody, Stop staring at Prescott butt and pay attention-U-K-A! Got it? NOW don't forget it! You third-rate golfer acting like a 5th rate wrestler ((... They decide to head to the next hole which is a windmill, don't you just love the windmill hole? You know you do, Stacy goes first after explaining to Sazuka that the one who puts it in first the last hole goes first the next hole, Sazuka reluctantly lets her, She actually gets off a good shot, he barely misses the windmill, goes in the tower and out the other side, it falls short of the hole about 4 or so inches, Sazuka smiles and starts to talk ...)) Sazuka: Man I don't know how or even WHY Woody Driver plays this thing.. Sheesh man, well Woody you might think I am some warm up match or whatever, YOU must have been putting your head in the ball washer too much to think that Woody, but make no mistake about it son, when the match is over and you're wondering why you lost just remember one thing, you lost cause you don't have the ability of me, you don't have the talent of me and you actually stink to high heaven really. So go play your golf. Cause wrestling and golf are NOT a like, well maybe in your case cause you are about as exciting as golf I guess. But look at the facts Woody; I am a highly acclaimed profession athlete and you? Hell not even a half assed golfer, let alone a halfway decent wrestler, HOW you got into the TWW is way beyond me my man. You may be a good golfer, BUT when your sorry butt steps into the ring with me, you'll find out what a good wrestler can do and that's beat you, heck it actually doesn't take a good wrestler to beat you, I believe I could do it without even showing up for the match.. Stacy: He was even golfing in beautiful Richmond, Virginia. Sazuka: Wow! Lets see how many are in Richmond? Two. Both are club members only. Wonder how he "snuck" in? Anyway stay out of my state…country, go back to playing the bagpipes and eating animal intestines my skirt wearing, golf playing, and cure for insomnia friend. Ok? ((... You guessed it, it's Sazuka's turn to putt… well he steps up to the ball.. does a practice swing. Then putts the ball.. it rolls towards the windmill and hits one of the props on the windmill and rolls halfway back to Sazuka, Sazuka gets pissed and throws the club at the windmill.. …)) Sazuka: This is stupid, why are we doing this? Cause Woody does it? Woody also sucks at wrestling and always hangs around some man; I'm not becoming a low carder and turning fag now! So there is no reason we should even play this anymore, you win Stacy, and you win okay? But that wont be this easy Tuesday night Woody and you know it man, cause I am one man you don't want to step into the squared circle with, I will destroy your so called "perfect" record and I will do it in style. Sure Woody you're twice as good as the champion, but man c'mon you actually think your sucky wrestling skills and your 3rd grade girls arms can beat me? I don't think so, I don't think you have the skills to hang with me Woody and I actually don't think you could lace my boots, you should be plunger-ing out my dirty toilet or cleaning my pool, NOT in the same ring as me, and make no mistake about it Woody I will walk out Tuesday night as the winner and there is nothing you can do about it Woody!! So just continue your "golfing" and show up to the arena Tuesday night, it will be the big building with all the people inside of it, you cant miss it actually.. and get ready for a lessen on wrestling 101 courtesy of ME!! ((... Sazuka walks over and picks up his club, he smack the windmill in anger and out comes the manager of the establishment, he's a fat, ugly guy. Sort of looks like Woody's mom, but with less facial hair, he does seem pissed as he walks over and starts to talk ...)) Manager: Hey! yous going to do that sheet, you can just leave my golf course... okay? Sazuka: Yeah, yeah, yeah we're going now, thanks for NOTHING man ((... Sazuka tosses the club at the man then walks towards Stacy, Stacy seems a bit embarrassed but gives the man her club, Stacy gives Sazuka a "you sleep on the couch tonight" look and they head off to the parking lot. And the scene fades out ...)) *** Fade to Black *** |
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