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| ** The scene opens at The Real F’N Deal Chris Matthews private swimming pool. The camera travels along the side of the swimming pool where a tall muscular figure is getting out, as the camera tracks we can see the man drying himself off, and putting a pair of dark sunglasses on. As we get closer we know it is Chris Matthews, who has now made himself comfortable in a sun lounger. Chris smiles his bright pearly teeth as he reaches beside the chair and pulls up the Nations Title and places it on his waist. He looks at the titles then begins to talk in his arrogant voice. ** Chris: I have to say so far this has been one great week. On Friday I pinned the top contender for the World Title CLEANLY one…two…three. But even better earlier in the evening I was handed the Nations Title back, for the reason that The Graduate faked an arm injury to escape a beating. Graduate you made the right choice. You know that you never won the Nations Title, all you did was take the belt after I single handily kicked the heck outta you then killed a spider for a young lad in the front row of that show, but you keep my belt warm for me that’s for sure and it’s nice to be a two time, two time Nations champion…oh I like saying that, I’m gonna repeat myself, because it truly is nice to be a TWO TIME, TWO TIME Nations champion, and it was funny as hell to see Senior Taco Carlos De Angelo, The Angel, The Icon, The man who’s career I ended, The dolt who I beat up on Shockwave for having the cheek to try and stand up to my number one man Louie Miranda. C’mon Carlos you didn’t think we would of let you have left without humiliating you, did you? Then again you always have been a few cans short of a six-pack if you know what I mean? ** Chris chuckles to himself at the thought of Carlos De Angelo on Shockwave, then with his hand brushes his wet blonde hair back, and turns to the camera once again. ** Chris: Speaking of Louis, I’m not sure what to think of you. First you give me the Nations Title back, then you go around thinking you own America’s Most Wanted by bribing me with what I did when I was drunk. Well Louis nobody has got hurt from my prank…yet but if something does happen because of it, then if I go down, you are coming with me, as the most talented guy in the roster does not go down without a fight, and you can take that to the bank if you don’t believe me Louis. We’ve gotta remember until you know what goes down the pair of us and the lean, mean suicidal machine…Suicide have gotta work together, the pride of Britain is at stake Louis, think about it if it wasn’t for us you’d just be another American promoter trying to become a heel, with Suicide and I you are part of the egotistic anarchist, who cause havoc, without us you are just another guy with power. Think about it Louis before you regret your actions, as it would pain my to do something to you that I shouldn’t have to, as you are my friend dude. Now onto my next bit of good news. The anal problem I’ve been having has gone, and I’m back to my old self, now let me say this to Kris Cole and by all the places I’ve been to, about a $5 piece of @ss named Amanda. This is a note from my doctor which reads like this: ** Chris pulls out a small white piece of paper from his pocket. Chris opens it and coughs to get his voice clear and correct for when he speaks** Chris: [Reading from paper] Dear Mr. Matthews, I am pleased to announce that the test you have had indicate that the infestation you have had, has been cleared. We have studies the remains of the infestation and have discovered it has come from a raw meat product that was not cooked properly. Thank you for your time Doctor K. Watkins. **Chris puts the paper back on the floor and looks back up at the camera ready to speak again. ** Chris: Did ya hear that? It WASN’T from anal sex it was from that fool of a brother Suicide who can’t cook, no wonder mum didn’t let him near the oven. **Chris stops realising what he just said, the starts laughing nervously tugging on his towel hoping that it didn’t get on camera** Chris: Hahahahahahahahaha! What a joker I am, I had you all fooled into thinking Suicide was my brother, damn am I funny. Hahahahahahahahaha. But seriously Suicide man, I’ve never coming round yours for a BBQ again. **Chris gives a heavy sigh, and rubs the sweat off of his forehead. Chris thinks of what he was gonna saying before speaking. ** Now I wanna talk about my match on Shockwave against four glorified jobbers, when I team with Suicide to take on… Dysan, The Living Proof Shawn Chase, Epitome Of Evil and Syth. Firstly I wanna talk about Dysan. Here is a fact a lot of you psychically challenged dolts don’t know about Britain, is that Dysan is a named of a vacuum cleaner company, it’s true, I’m not kidding, so I’ve gotta match against vacuum boy. Well Dysan I’ve got something to tell you. All you’ve done these past few weeks is come down to the ring and beat up a jobber, for some cheap, tacky belt that is worth about $10. Now let me point something out about that sentence Dysan; you see all you’ve been doing is messing with the little leaguers, when the big shot have all been laughing at your pathetic attempts, now you’re messing with the pinnacle of greatness The Real F’N Deal Chris Matthews. You’ve gotta remember Dysan I’m not a jobber, I’m not some ring boy, I’m a 6’4, 260 lbs, bad ass mother f—ker. You wanna talk about Extreme, then talk about me, the guy that destroyed three other guys, who were all hardcore specialists. I beat Anarchist cleanly, despite having to fend off two other guys. Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking that what I said is no big deal as you beat Anarchist, well let me finisher. I then went on to pin a guy who claimed to King Xtreme, but not only did I beat him, I broke his damn neck. Dysan you don’t impress me, you bore me, and I will take you to school this week on Shockwave. Now you’re partner is The Living Proof Shawn Chase a guy who has the nerve to agree with me that the ppv name "Mind Games" is a WWF rip off, when he comes out to the ring like the boring idiot that he is, and calls himself The Game. Chase you are the BIGGEST hypocrite I know. Suppose nobody has ever heard the nickname "The Game" before, but I could of swore that there is this guy called Hunter in the WWF who uses that name, I wonder who that could be?!? Chase you are a waste of a talented wrestler. There was a time where you were number one, but now you just cheat your way to victory, and we all need not look further than Friday Lightning when everyone and their brother helped you crush a poor lad like Suicide’s dream of becoming World Champion. Do you know how hard Suicide has had work to get where he is today? He won EWA Cruiserweight, and Tag Titles, and clawed his way up the rankings. All you did was visit Martin Swift in the mental institution and you become champion, while the talented interesting guys get nothing. This federation is more corrupt than the Rodney King trial. TO BE CONTINUED |
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