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| "Don't worry, be happy". This is a phrase that everybody preaches, but nobody actually practices. What if there was actually someone who practiced what other people preached, here are the results... The scene is in Central Park, Manhattan, New York. The grand park is filled with people who are eating, talking, and just generally relaxing. The atmosphere today is pretty much mild, as nothing exciting seems to be happening. Out, near a street of the park, an image of a figure comes into view. As the camera focuses, you can tell that it is an interesting individual. He looks pretty normal from his neck up. He has medium length, wavy brown hair, and a normal shaped head. The only thing that sticks out on his head are his amazing green eyes. Then, as you look past his head, you see his clothes. He is wearing a black t-shirt with a green diamond sitting on the front of it. He is wearing a pair of torn dress khakis. They have a rip near the left buttock and on both knees. His green boxers are exposed in the hole on his butt. He is not wearing shoes and his feet are scraped and torn in many different places. He motions, with his hands, for the camera to come closer to him. The cameraman comes closer, and closer, until the focus of the camera is on the figure's body. He now looks even more raggedy than the shot before. He scratches the back of his head ferociously for a second, and then speaks into the camera... (FIGURE)Ha, ha. Hi. How are you. I am fine. Ha, Ha. Well, who am I? Good question, in fact. Who am I? Well, if you want to actually give me a name, then you can call me Green Diamond. That's what people have been calling me for the past few years. That's when all this started. That's when I started to beat up people for a living. Ha, ha. Pretty strange, huh? How people actually beat people up, and then receive money for it. At first, it didn't set comfortably with me. But then, I figured: Hey, money! That's when I made the cross. Normal life to wrestling. That's when my life changed. Now, I'm here. In Tidal Wave Wrestling. Tidal Wave. The sound of that just makes you think of destruction doesn't it. It does for me. Anyway, I am a destructive person. I fit perfectly here. Ha, ha. I am here in Tidal Wave Wrestling, as I just had previously stated if you had been listening. Now, I'm here to make a point. In the past, I made the point as the, so-called, funny guy. Now, in this place, I want to make the point that I am the, so-called, funny and frightening guy. The way that people achieve the title of "frightening" is when they kick the living rabbit excretion out of people. Therefore, this is what I shall do. My first target: Bad Poppa; Justin Plant. Just out of the blue, Green Diamond, runs off and scurries up a tree. He shimmies up the big, maple tree and then sits on a branch. He motions for the camera to be quiet as he puts a finger to his lips (even though there is so much noise going on that it wouldn't really matter). Green Diamond looks around, almost as a squirrel would. Then, his head fixes on a point. It is a teenage boy. He looks to be around fifteen or so. Green Diamond puts his finger to his lips once again, and then he vaults off of the tree and lands on the fifteen year old boy. The boy pushes G.D. off of him, and yells at him. (TEENAGER)- Jesus Christ, man, what in the Hell are you doing! Green Diamond is up off of the ground now. He has added a grass stain to his already-bad-looking pants. He has a bruise on his forehead. He looks confusedly at the boy. (GREEN DIAMOND)- What are you talking about, young man? I have been sitting here enjoying the afternoon sun all day. Just after Green Diamond says this, he picks up the boy and runs around in a small circle with him, carrying him on his shoulder. People all around are staring at Green Diamond, wondering what in the hell he is doing. After around twenty seconds of this, Green Diamond puts the boy down on the ground, very carefully, and then returns to the camera. As he begins to speak again, the teenage boy gets up and runs off with a scared and confused look in his face. Green Diamond carries on like nothing has happened. (GREEN DIAMOND)- Bad Poppa, huh? Well, I know nothing about this character to tell you the straight truth. I've seen him talk a couple of times before. He looks pretty tough, yet he doesn't even know about me. I am the one, the only, the uno, the one. I shall beat him up, just like I like to beat everyone else up. He might think that he knows pain. Ha, ha. He does not know pain. You do not know pain until you have had a scholarship to Texas Tech, and then a crazy high driver comes out of nowhere, and takes away your scholarship. Oh no! You do not know pain, Bad Poppa!!!!! I know pain, I know suffering. This is why I excell at this profession. I use all my pent up frustration, all my pent up anger, and all the suffering that I have edured to defeat people. I use those countless nights that I have spent in my room, crying tears that will not stop, to defeat people. This is why I always have the advantage. This is why I always try my hardest. This is why a select few stand a chance against me. Ha, ha. This is why I shall win when this Friday rolls around. Remember my face Poppa. I shall be the one to start off your career in the TWW with a big, giant, juicy, succulent, loss!!! Green Diamond looks away for a second. He stares at a seemingly family picnic that is going on right to the left of him. He smiles. He seems to think happy thoughts. Suddenly, his look changes. He reaches into his torn khaki pocket, and pulls out two tennis balls. He walks over to the family, taking broad, galant strides. He takes one of the tennis balls and puts it in a young child's sandwich that he was just about to eat. A large man, presumeably the father, gets up. (FATHER)- What in the Hell do you think that you are doing. Green Diamond looks at the man. He smiles. He then stuffs the other tennis ball into the mans mouth, and then delivers Greenish Death (an X-Factor) on him. The man is laid out on the ground. The children of the family are crying. Green Diamond walks back over to the camera. He glances at the people behind him and speaks into the camera. (GREEN DIAMOND)- What happened back there? You know it's a damn shame when people can't even have a picnic without some low-life thug beating them up. I feel sorry for that poor family. Still, I shouldn't be talking about beating people up. Ha, ha. For this is what I enjoy to do for my job. As I said before, Bad Poppa is first. Now, I did see this Bad Poppa guy talking once. He said that he has the mind of a lunatic. Well, lemme tell you something, bub. I don't take to kindly to lunatics. A lunatic must have ruined that poor family's day out right back there. Lunatics don't set to kindly in my heart. This is why I am willing to beat the mess out of you. For the sake of families everywhere, so that they can have a picnic in peace, for once. Prepare thyself! The bout is coming. Green Diamond taking on Bad Poppa! This Friday! Ha, ha. Get your beer! Popcorn! Has anyone seen my shoe? Green Diamond looks away from the camera, and then reaches into his back pocket. He pulls out a plethera of tennis balls and golf balls. He starts pelting the family that he just tormented. The scene fades out with the scene of many people coming to try to stop Green Diamond from committing this... Green Diamond has spoken! |
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