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| Green Diamond has been introduced. You have met him. Still, you do not know him. Who is the real Green Diamond. Only time will tell you... The scene is a local bar in Queens, New York. There are a lot of drunk, white, hairy guys just sitting and talking about how the Mets are gonna kick Yankees asses, and how the Jets are Gods. The old-school rock is blaring on the juke box, and some men gather around it, bobbing their heads in rhythm with the music. Still, there is one thing odd about this picture. In the corner on the bar, there is a figure. It is the new wrestler of TWW, Green Diamond. He is now wearing a lime green dress shirt, and a pair of blue running shorts. He still isn't wearing shoes, and his feet are still scarred and scraped in various different ways and places. He is sitting there, his head on the counter, talking to himself about football. Then, one of the three bartenders notices him. The bartender walks toward Green Diamond. He taps him on the shoulder and says something to him. (BARTENDER)- Hey! Are you just going to sit there, fool, or are you gonna order a drink? Green Diamond lifts his head up. He raises one eyebrow. (GREEN DIAMOND)- What did you say about Texas Tech tailbacks? (BARTENDER)- Nothing dude. I asked you if you were going to order something. (GREEN DIAMOND)- I didn't say anything. What are you talking about? Anyway, give me a skim milk, on the rocks. The bartender kind of gives a little chuckle. (BARTENDER)- Yeah, sure, I'll get your milk right now. As the bartender walks away, Green Diamond puts his head back down. The bartender goes and gets a gallon of milk. He fills it half-way, but then fills the other half with rum. He stirs it up and returns to Green Diamond. He taps him on the shoulder. (BARTENDER)- Hey buddy. Here's your "milk". Green Diamond looks up confusedly. (GREEN DIAMOND)- Well, I didn't order anything, bub. Still, you must've read my mind. I've been craving an ice-cold milk. Green Diamond drinks the whole milk in about 9 seconds. The bartender laughs. Green Diamond coughs. (GREEN DIAMOND)- I think your milk is sour young sir. It tasted rather odd to me. (BARTENDER)- Oh, I'm sorry. No charge. (snicker) The bartender just shakes his head and walks over to the other end of the bar. Green Diamond wobbles a bit. Suddenly, out of the blue, a man sitting a few feet away from Green Diamond starts to yell something. (MAN)- Whoa! Look, there's that guy from Tidal Wave Wrestling, Green Diamond. I saw him on a promo, yesterday. He's crazy man. Hey, Green Diamond! (GREEN DIAMOND)- What do you want you Texas A&M fan? I do not associate with (hiccup) your kind! (MAN)- Ha, ha, ha! You're funny. Hey will you say some words to all of us. By now, almost everyone in the bar is looking at Green Diamond. Green Diamond shrugs. He stands up on top of the bar, and stomps his foot. He hiccups a couple of times. Then, just out of the blue, he pulls a golf ball out of his pocket, and nails a bum, laying in the corner with it. The entire bar erupts in laughter. (GREEN DIAMOND)- What are you laughing at!? Look at that man! He is in pain! Someone must (hiccup) assist him. This makes the bar erupt in even louder laughter. (GREEN DIAMOND)- Leave it to Texas A&M fans to make fun of an injured man. In fact, all of you people are as bad as this Big Poppa character! You all are lunatics. That's right, you're all lunatics. I hate lunatics. They have no (hiccup) right to live on this earth. They disrupt life as we (hiccup) know it, and... Green Diamond pauses. He sniffs the air. His eyes then focus on the juke box in the corner. The walks, still on top of the bar, to the end of the counter, he then turns around so that his back is facing the jukebox. He then executes Diamond Dust (720 Moonsault) onto the jukebox and then goes crashing through it. He gets up. He now has a slice through his shirt, and his biker shorts have ripped, exposing his ass cheeks. He looks at himself, and then looks at all of the people in the bar. (GREEN DIAMOND)- What in the Hell! Who did this to me. Oh forget it, you people are making me crazy. I'm out of here. Green Diamond rushes out of the bar. He goes outside in the cold, with his ripped pants, and pretty much with a big buzz. The sounds of the laughter in the bar echo throughout the street. The voice of the man that first stated Green Diamond was there is heard saying "I told you he was funny as Hell!" When Green Diamond is safely out of shouting distance in the bar. He stops, he goes to the camera, vigorously scratching his head. Then, he speaks. (GREEN DIAMOND)- Ha, ha. It's hot out here. What is wrong with me. Why do I have all this glass on me, and why are my expensive armani pants ripped. This is starting to piss me off, everytime you people come around me, I end up (hiccup) hurt. Anyway, I have a match Friday, don't I. It is against this Justin Plant character. Now, I saw Justin giving a little talk and he kept on referring to a guy named the Green Lantern. I have but one question, Justin. Why are you talking about Green Lantern, the ultimate superhero, when you have a match against me? I know not, perhaps you could give the answer. This Friday, it seems that we will face each other, no matter what. Therefore, I plan to make a little money so I can pay off my bicycle payment. It really has nothing to do with you, Justin. It has to do with my job. My strange job: fighting. Oh, how I yearn to be back in the ring. It will be time, soon enough. It will be time. Time when I get to beat your buttocks into the mat, kick by kick, until finally you say: "Please stop, I've had enough". Oh yes, this is what I yearn to do. See, it's not going to be pretty when I beat you, Friday. The carnage, formally known as your body, might be compared to mashed up rabbit excretion, flayed in vinegar, and than marinaded in cod liver oil. Yes, that paints a good picture, doesn't it. Justin, the battle is approaching. The time is coming. We have the match on the card, in which nobody gives a damn about. Still, after I'm done with you, well, they still probably won't give a damn about it. But I will. Oh yes, I will. I will give a damn about it. I believe that you will give a damn about it too, because the start of our careers in the TWW depend on it. I know that there are some very talented people here. Some are even better at "beating up" people than me. Still, I feel if I can get my career off to a good start, then I might have a chance of becoming HAM AND CHEESE SANDWICH CHAMPION! It just might happen, you never know. Anyway... Green Diamond looks away. He stares at a parked, white Honda on a street corner. A small young woman is inside, listening to the radio. Green Diamond smiles and then rushes to the car. He knocks lightly on the window. The woman looks at him, as she does, Green Diamond smashes the window with his fist. He pulls out a can of tennis balls. He hands them to the woman and then says... (GREEN DIAMOND)- Here, Melissa. For all that we've been through, I want you to have these. Treasure them always. Green Diamond then punches the woman in her nose and runs off through the streets screaming something about "HAM AND CHEESE!" Fade to snow. Green Diamond has spoken, well sorta... |
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