"If wished were horses, I'd have a herd." I find that to be a fundamental truism of human nature, but only superficially. If one really digs deep, I think that you'd find you only have one or two real desires. I do. Only one, I think. All I really want is to have someone I can completely and utterly trust. Someone I can turn to when I'm really down, someone I can phone when I really need to talk. But there's no one. I am utterly alone, like a small, insignificant particle in the huge, hostile universe. I, like the X-Files, trust no one. Because I am a huge emotional wreck. 10 years of emotional abuse has left me a big blubbering blob of insecurities, as thinly veiled as an organza sheet over a mountain, by a facade of brittle clay.
My parents totally suck.