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I was dreaming. It was such a nice dream. Willow, Jesse, and I were sitting there, eating ice cream. I was watching all the women walk by. I was amazed, there were so many beautiful women in the park that day. And then a man walked by. He stopped and turned, gazing at me. I inhaled sharply when I realized it was those blue eyes that had haunted me. "Spike," I said, standing up.
The dream flashed and I was sitting there, my eyes closed. Someone was lazily stroking my hard cock. The sensations were *awesome*. So much better than when I did it myself. I opened my eyes to see if it were Betsy, or Cordelia, or *maybe* even Willow. I'd had a sex dream about her one time. It completely freaked me out. I mean, it's *Willow*. She's not a woman; she's my best friend!
But it wasn't any of them. It wasn't even a woman! It was Spike. I grabbed his wrist, suddenly ashamed, scared, disgusted, and turned on *way* more than I should have been. "Stop," I hissed.
"I won't hurt you, Xander. I would never hurt you," he said softly, his English accent sending chills through my body.
"No, I can't do this! I want a woman," I proclaimed. "I like women!"
He leaned in and kissed me, setting my body aflame. I have kissed one girl, at school last year, behind the gym. It was awkward and horrible. But this. . .this kiss was the kiss of movies. This kiss would have made Willow bawl tears of joy, it was so passionate.
I finally pulled away and gasped. He was a vampire! "You. . .you are. . ."
"I won't hurt you," he purred. "I promise."
My eyes flew open and I was breathing hard. I moaned softly, realizing that the dream had made me hard! < Damn, > I thought, < I'm dreaming about men and enjoying it! >
The higher part of my brain finally clicked on and I realized that I was pressed against a body, spooning it. I had my arms wrapped around said body, the back to my chest. I glanced down and sighed with relief, realizing it was only Willow. And then I froze. I was hard, and it was pressed against Willow's ass! Oh, god, that was sure to wake her up!
I started to pull away slowly, and she gripped my hand, still deep in sleep. She grinded her backside into my pelvis, causing me to close my eyes and moan softly. "Willow," I whispered, "please, god, please don't do that. . ."
"Angelus," she murmured. "Please, Angelus, touch me. . .make me a woman. . ."
My eyes flew open. She was dreaming about *Angelus*? Why the hell was she dreaming about *Angelus*? I started shaking her, while pulling away. It wouldn't do any good to let her know that I had woken up hard. "Willow," I hissed.
She turned over. "Angelus?" she asked softly, opening her eyes. She smiled sweetly, then realized what she'd said. Her eyes widened in horror. "Xander," she whispered. "I dreamed about him!"
"I know," I pouted. I was jealous! Why was I jealous? I didn't love Willow, not like that. So what was wrong with me? When did she start noticing guys anyway? She hadn't up to that point. So what if she and Angelus hit it off and they started dating. So? Except she would be spending all of her time with him. . . she would forget I even existed. . .
"Xander, it was wonderful. He was so gentle and caring, and. . .god, Xander." She sighed.
"I dreamed about Spike." Shit! Did I say that out loud?
"You did?" she asked softly. "How so?"
"I was. . .he was. . ." I looked down. I couldn't tell her. . .
"What, Xander? Were you having sex or something?" she asked curiously. It was odd, she wasn't saying it nasty or meanly, just. . .curiously.
"Not exactly," I whispered. I looked up at her, swallowing. If anyone could understand, it would be her. "Willow, I think I might be. . .attracted to him."
She shrugged. "He's an attractive man."
"You don't think that's. . .wrong?" I asked. That was the last thing I wanted, for Willow to look down at me.
She shrugged again. "Not really. I mean, I've found women attractive."
A new scene popped in my head, one where Willow was lying between Betsy and Cordelia. . .I groaned as I started to become erect again.
"Xander?" she asked, laying a hand on my arm. I could hear the concern in her voice.
It was all I could do not to attack her right there. I wanted to kiss. . .something. Anything. I wanted to feel warmth around my cock, push in and out, god, I wanted to fuck something. "I. . .I have to go to the bathroom," I mumbled, pushing myself out of bed. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, hoping she didn't see the tent my bulge made in my boxers.
I sat in her bathroom for half an hour, trying to imagine all the women I knew naked. I was sitting on the toilet, turned towards the bathtub, leaving my back to the door. I knew Willow wouldn't just walk in, but I still didn't want her to see me jacking off if she did.
I stroked myself slowly. I was hard, but I wasn't to the point of needing to cum. I imagined Cordelia Chase, Betsy Roberts. . .hell, I even imagined Willow naked. They all got me excited, but didn't do anything for me, not like it usually did. I closed my eyes and sighed, and there he was. His chest was smooth, almost carved out of stone. He was smiling at me, those blue eyes dancing. My cock surged and I started stroking faster, knowing that thoughts of Spike would make me cum.
I came, the white stream of fluid landing in a neat ribbon in Willow's bathtub. I shuddered, then realized I'd quietly cried out "Spike," when I came. Oh, god. I was dreaming about a man, and I knew that he'd probably think I was crazy if I told him I wanted him.
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