Many Nights To Come

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Xander turned his nose up, pushing the offending blue jeans off of his body. "Well, there goes another great pair of jeans ruined," he grumbled, kicking the green goo covered jeans across the bathroom. He smirked, seeing the trail of ick the jeans left on the tiles. "Don't worry, Wills, I'll clean up later," he said to himself. He looked at himself in the mirror, turning slightly, critiquing his naked form. "Not bad for a twenty three year old, if I do say so myself." He patted his belly. "No beer gut, which is surprising, considering how much Spike and I tend to drink. . ." He chuckled.

He padded to the bathtub, leaning over to turn on the hot water. It was yet another Friday night on the Hellmouth. He, Buffy, Riley, and Willow went out to fight the latest demon, per usual. Buffy had slayed it with ease; Willow, Xander, and Riley standing off to the side. They'd gotten to the point in their friendship where when the Slayer was beating the hell out of a demon, and they *knew* she would win and didn't really need their help, they'd start cheering. "Go, Buffy! Gimmie a B! Gimmie a U!" It was a silly little tradition the three Slayerettes had started, but it kept the mood light, and made Buffy feel good. Sometimes, when Spike was in town from LA, he'd join in with his own colorful cheers. "Kick it's slimy arse, Slayer!! Spread his entrails all over fucking Sunnydale!" he would yell.

Willow would always grimace in disgust, but Spike didn't care. Xander would laugh, and Riley would turn green with the thought. Buffy shrugged it off, but thanked Spike for his support anyway.

Three years had passed since Spike and Riley had joined their group. Tara was reveled to be an evil demon and the group banished her, much to Willow's chagrin. She did love the girl, but knew it would be better if she were gone. Anya was granted her powers back, and went back to the lovely life of Vengeance. Xander didn't miss her too much. Willow slowly drifted back to men, bringing home a total of four boyfriends in the three years; some of which Xander tolerated, the others he just plain hated. He'd drifted from girl to girl himself, but never found the right one. . .the one that had that *spark*. He wasn't sure exactly *who* had that right spark, but hoped that he'd find her, eventually.

He stepped into the shower and sighed. He knew he could take as long as he wanted; Willow could use Buffy's shower if she so desired. It was just he and Willow that night, as Buffy went back to Riley's place for her traditional "I killed the bad guy and get to sleep with my boyfriend" celebration.

He glanced around, suddenly daunted by all the products in his best friend's shower. He peered through the steam and water to figure out which one would help clean his body. Finally, he settled on the plastic bottle proclaiming to be "Self-Foaming Body Moisturizer". He wasn't entirely sure if that was what he needed, but decided that his body could use a little moisturizing. He glanced around once more, groaning when he didn't see a washcloth. "How
the hell does she wash herself without a washcloth?" he asked himself. His eyes settled on a big ball of. . .green mesh? It was hanging from the white shower caddy attached to the nozzle. "Worth a try."

He picked up the dark green mesh and smiled, the familiar scent of vanilla filling his nostrils. Willow *always* smelled like vanilla, since the day he'd met her when they were five. He could never smell that particular scent without a flash of red and green burning into his memory. He turned the bottle over and squeezed some of the gel out. He set it aside, watching
with morbid curiosity as the gel began to foam. "Whatever happened to the days of bar soap?" he asked.

He placed his thumbs in the middle of the foam, massaging it into the mesh sponge. He grinned as it started to lather, filling the bathroom with the smell of vanilla. He groaned as his shaft started to harden, little pieces of fantasies long hidden flashing through his mind. Willow underneath him, eyes closed, red hair shining in the sunlight, driving into her with a force he didn't know existed. . .her nails in his back, digging small holes in the skin.

He shook those thoughts from his mind, ignoring them. "No use in getting worked up. I mean, it's Wills," he said. He took the mesh sponge and started at his shoulder, massaging his skin with it. "Mmm. . .this is nice," he said. He followed his arm to his hand, then turned the sponge, lifting his arm. He ran it on the underside, down to his armpit, washing away the dirt of the night. He did the other arm the same way, then moved to his chest.

The slight scratchiness of the mesh made his nipples hard and he moaned softly. He rubbed the sponge over his nipples again, shuddering slightly as they tightened. He knew he was getting aroused again, but didn't care much. After all, who would know if he jacked off in Willow's shower? It wasn't as if she were going to come check on him.

He ran the sponge down his stomach, across his half hard length. He closed his eyes, leaning back against the shower wall. The mesh caused him to fully harden. He ran it along his length again, then threw the sponge down, needing the tight grip of a hand.

He wrapped his hand around his stiff cock, eyes closed, hot water spraying against his chest. He ran the tight grip up and down his rod, surrounded by warmth, and by vanilla. It was at that moment he began to imagine it was Willow in the shower with him, her tight grip wrapped around him. He began to stroke faster, imagining her smile, her moan, her throwing her head back and crying out his name as she slammed into orgasm. He could almost hear her breathless voice in his ear, "Oh, goddess, Xander. . .when you touch me there. . .I just don't know what to do. . ."

He closed his eyes tighter, trying not to think of her, not to feel her in his very soul, rocking him to the core. But he couldn't. He couldn't push his best friend out of his mind. They'd gotten closer in the last few years, but it was nothing more than friendship, there hadn't even been any sparks on her - or his - part. And now, he was standing naked in her shower - as he had a million times before - jacking off with her permanently embedded in his thoughts.

His balls tightened, and he knew he was about to cum. "Oh, god," he panted. "God. . .Willow. . ." he cried out softly, shooting the long white stream of cum across the shower. He slowly opened his eyes, watching as it disappeared with the water down the drain. The product of his love, of his everything, washed away.

It was then that Xander realized just *why* none of the girls he'd ever dated had that *spark*.

They weren't Willow.

He stumbled out of the shower, wrapping her fluffy white towel around his body. How would he act now? He wanted Willow, and he knew that those feelings would never be returned. He would turn into the goofy man he became when he wanted someone, always bumbling around her, embarrassing himself. How would he explain it? They'd become so close, so comfortable, and now the thought of sitting in the same *room* with her - much less sitting next to her - made him both want to cry out in frustration and fuck the hell out of her.

"Damn it!" he cried, his voice echoing in the bathroom.

He frowned, wrapping the towel around his waist, letting it ride low on his hips. He opened the door and stepped out into Willow's room. He stopped in mid step. She was there, in her room, her back to him. She was standing at the dresser, looking for something. < Oh, my god, what do I say? > he thought. His mind raced for the perfect opening, failing when he couldn't think of anything.

She turned, smiling slightly. "Hey, Xander. . .you ok? Did you stub your toe or something?" She was unaffected by the way the beads of water dripped down his lean chest, the way his wet hair fell into his eyes, or the way his towel was hanging so low on his hips, she could see almost an inch of the dark hair that led to his dick. She licked her lips slightly, her eyes going back up to his, trying not to show she'd looked at his nice form.

"Huh?" he asked. < Huh? How smart is that, dumbass? > he thought.

"You cried out 'damn it'. . .I thought maybe you stubbed your toe or something."

"Oh, uh, yea. Ouch."

She blinked, then sat down on the bed with a frown. "Ok, Xander, what's wrong?" She turned into best friend, pushing the thoughts of wanting him, needing him, out of her mind. Something was wrong with Xander, and she was determined to fix it. After all, he'd done so much for her in their lives. . .

He sat down next to her, sighing. "My life is hell."

"Why, Xander?" she asked, ignoring the screaming of her mind telling her to move closer to him, to smother his face with kisses, to cover his body with hers.

He turned to her, his dark chocolate eyes meeting her sparkling emerald ones. He smiled softly, getting lost in her eyes. He could stare into them all day long, bask in her soul, feel safe and content, without a worry in the world. He knew love in those eyes, real love - the kind that didn't have any strings attached. Only it wasn't the love he wanted from her. "I' m in love."

She blinked, breaking the intense eye contact. "Love?" she squeaked. She cleared her throat. "Love?" she repeated. "Why is that bad, Xander?"

"She doesn't love me," he said softly, turning away. "She's too good for me, she's perfect, Wills. Everything that a woman should be, and everything that I've ever wanted. She's. . .she's perfect."

Willow's heart constricted. She didn't understand the feelings she was feeling - there was nothing between her and Xander, and hadn't been for years now. But he hadn't proclaimed he loved anyone since Anya left, and now, he was sitting on her bed, nothing but a fluffy white towel around his waist, telling her about some girl she'd never met. "Well," she said, clearing her throat. "You are just going to have to tell her."

"Tell her?" he gasped, turning to her, eyes wide. "Are you crazy? She'll. . .she'll look at me like I'm nuts! Oh, no, there will be no telling for the Xand-man. She is just a friend, and that's the way it's going to stay. I would much rather have her for a friend and love her from afar than tell her I love her and lose her forever."

Willow's mind raced through all the friends she knew Xander had from school. She finally settled on a girl named Mandy, one who he tutored in Child Psychology. It had to be her. She was pretty, tall and blonde. Much like Cordelia had been, but not quite as bitchy. They got along great, unless they were fighting, which was usually. But it wasn't a bad fighting, only one of unrestrained lust. Willow knew he had an unspoken crush on her for a while, but didn't know that it extended this far - that he loved her.

"Well," she said slowly, "maybe she likes you too, and she's just. . .scared."

"Scared of what?" he asked curiously, turning to her. He was surprised to see the sadness flicker in her green eyes before she turned away, mentally pushing her hurt feelings aside.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "She's scared of getting hurt, or something. Maybe she had a bad relationship in the past."

Xander's eyes settled at the base of her neck, imagining how it would taste flicking his tongue over it. How the sweat would pool there, how salty it would be - yet how much it would sate some of the passion he felt at that particular moment. He closed his eyes and fought back the threatening erection. He couldn't do this - couldn't get hard in front of Willow, not when he was wearing nothing but a towel. How would he explain that?

"Yea," Xander said, his voice husky. "She has had a bad relationship. Broke her heart. Her. . .lover. . .wasn't who she thought. . .her lover. . .was." He bit back the 'her' describing Tara, not wanting her whirling mind to put two and two together and figure it out.

Willow was reminded of Tara and sighed. "Yea," she said, picking at the bedspread. "That sucks when your girlfriend isn't who you think she is." She looked down, tears filling her eyes. It had been almost three years, but the thought of Tara still broke her heart. She'd given up so much - turned Oz away for her. . .and the witch ended up being a demon.

Xander winced. "Oh, god, Wills, I'm so sorry," he purred, pulling her into his arms. He ignored his almost nakedness, knowing only that he had to make Willow stop crying. "Please don't cry, baby. I *hate* it when you cry. Come on. . .you gotta smile for your Xander. . .it would only be right," he whispered.

She placed her hand on his bare chest and looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "But you aren't," she whispered.

"I'm not what?" he asked, confused.

"You aren't mine," she whispered, looking down. "I. . .I. . ."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping he wasn't making a mistake. He put his fingers under her chin and tilted her face up to his. "Do you want me to be?" he asked softly.

Confusion crossed her features and she nibbled her bottom lip. Xander ached to pull the lip into his mouth and nibble it for her. She glanced up, her eyes meeting his. "What about Mandy?" she whispered, her eyes filling with a fresh wave of tears.

He frowned. "Mandy? What about her? She's a crazy nut."

"But you love her," Willow whispered.

Xander blinked, trying to remember how drunk he was when he made up *that* lie. "No, Willow, I don't love Mandy. That's. . .eww. I mean, I did the date Cordelia thing. I don't want to do it again."

"B. . .but the girl. . .the one you wanted, the one you loved. . .I figured she was. . .I thought she was Mandy."

Xander blinked, then started laughing. The mirth bubbled from deep within his soul as he laid back on her bed, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. His hands were resting on his chest, and his sides were starting to ache, he was laughing so much.

Willow frowned down at him, wondering what the hell had gotten in his head to make him laugh so much. "Xander," she said, slapping the side of his thigh. "It's not funny, damn it! Stop laughing at me!"

"No, no," he wheezed, "not laughing at you. Laughing that you. . ." He chuckled. ". . .thought that it was Mandy!!"

She growled angrily, wrapping her hands around the bottom of his towel. "If you don't stop laughing, damn it, I'll rip this towel right off your ass."

He quieted instantly, his eyes meeting hers. He could feel himself hardening by the look of anger in her face. He groaned softly, wishing she'd use that anger against him, ride him hard, punish him for all the anger she felt.

He couldn't fight the erection, and at that moment, he didn't care. Slowly, but surely, all the blood was rushing to his nether regions. If she was going to rip his towel away - and he knew she was going to - then at least she'd get a show out of it. He licked his lips. "I dare you," he said, his voice dropping a notch.

A bolt of desire rushed through her body, seeing his eyes darken. She was looking at his face and hadn't noticed the small tent beginning to form in the towel. "Fine then. I will. I've seen you naked before." She turned, ripping the towel away from his body. She gasped slightly, sitting back, watching as his hard length sprang into view.

He sat up slightly, resting on his elbows. "Yea, when we were like, eight. I've grown up a *lot* since then, Wills."

"Oh. My," she said softly. "You have. . ." She squirmed a little, wishing that she could impale herself on that cock, that she could wrap her lips around it, that she could. . .do anything.

"Wanna touch it?" he grinned, smirking slightly. He knew he was acting like a child, but at that point, that was the only thing he knew to do. If he didn't diffuse the situation - and fast - he would throw her down and fuck the hell out of her.

She licked her lips slightly, reaching out to run her fingertips against the head of his cock. He groaned quietly, wishing she'd do more. His eyes fell shut as he imagined her stroking him, holding him tightly, her small hand wrapped around his length. He thrust his hips up slightly - the feeling was so real, so perfect, so. . . His eyes flew open. Willow was stroking his length!

His eyes flew to her face. She had her own eyes closed, chewing on her bottom lip, a complete look of rapture on her face. He sat up, causing her startled eyes to open. She opened her mouth to speak, a blush starting over her face. Before she could say anything, he'd ran his fingers through her hair, pulling her face to his, kissing her with the intensity that he felt.

She moaned into his kiss, wrapping on arm around his neck, the other hand stroking him with a firm grip. She swept her tongue into his mouth, running it along his teeth, teasing his tongue. He pushed her back, grinding his dick against her denim-covered sex. He pulled away, breathing heavily. "It's you, Wills."

"What's me?" she asked softly, trying to catch her own breath.

"It's you that I'm in love with. It's your face that haunts my dreams at nights. It's you I want to fall asleep with at night and wake up to in the morning," he said quietly, finally decided that she needed to know.

A look of playfulness entered her eyes. "Are you saying that just so I'll sleep with you?" she asked, tracing his taunt muscles with her fingertips.

He blinked, hurt entering his eyes. "Willow! You know me better than that! You know I'd never. . ." His voice faltered when he saw the teasing in her eyes. "Maybe," he smirked.

"Cause that would be so wrong," she purred, flipping them so she was sitting on top of him. She pulled her shirt off, freeing her breasts.

Absentmindedly, his hands went to the perfect perky breasts, running his thumbs over her hardening nipples. "And why would that be?" he asked softly, sitting up enough to take one of her nipples in his mouth. He twirled the bud with his tongue, biting the hardening nub with his teeth.

She moaned, causing him to surge against her. "Because," she purred, running her fingers through his hair. "I love you too."

He blinked and pulled away from her, looking up into her shining emerald eyes. "You. . .you do?"

"Or perhaps I'm just saying it to get you to sleep with me," she grinned, grinding against his cock.

He moaned, falling back against her pillows. "Take me, Wills."

"Where ya wanna go, lover?" she said playfully, slipping off of him and standing up beside the bad.

He groaned, missing her touch already. He looked over. "I wasn't seri. . ." His eyes widened as she pulled her jeans off, reveling her equally naked body. "Oh, god," he whispered, his cock surging yet again.

"I figured heaven would be a good place myself," she whispered, sliding into bed with him. She pulled him over, so he was resting between her legs, his length at her entrance. She smiled up at him.

He looked down at her, seeing the love in her eyes. "Are you sure?" he asked softly, wanting to make sure that this was what she wanted.

"As much as I've ever been," she purred.

He groaned, sliding into her slowly. "Oh, god," he purred, leaning down to lick that place at the base of her neck that he'd only dreamed about tasting.

She arched against him, wrapping her legs around his waist. "Xander," she keened, needing him. He consumed her, filled her, and completed her. He was the other half of her soul, everything she'd ever wanted or needed in a lover, a friend, a mate.

He slid into her slowly at first, wanting to draw out the feeling of her tight slick walls grasping at his cock as long as he could. However, it wasn't long before his thrusts were made out of frenzy, spiraling both of them towards the blissfulness of that perfect orgasm.

She tightened her walls, clamping down on his cock. He cried out softly, feeling the beginning of his orgasm wash over him. He reached between their bodies, finding her blood filled bundle of nerves. He twisted her clit savagely, instinctively knowing that at that moment, the roughness of such an action would cause her to cum.

Cause her to cum it did, as her back came up off the bed, pressing her breasts against his chest. She cried out his name, the word "Xander" echoing off the walls of her spacious room. He shuddered and tightened, spilling his seed deep within her womb. He collapsed on top of her with a loud sigh.

He knew that their first coupling was one more of releasing the pent up sexual tension between the two of them - the tension that had been hidden there for years. He looked up sleepily at her, blinking his brown eyes. "Wills?"

She slowly opened her green eyes, smiling gently. "Yea, Xand?"

"Tomorrow, I'll make love to you slow. Or even an hour from now. . ."

"But need sleep now," she finished his sentence, like she'd done so many times before.

He chuckled, resting his head in her crook of her neck. "Yea, sleep is good."

"I love you, Xander," she purred softly, sleep washing over her exhausted body.

"Mmm-hmm," he muttered half asleep. "Love you too, precious." He tightened his hold on his redhead, knowing that this would be the beginning of many nights to come falling asleep with her in his arms.

END

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