Mike stared at me, his mouth dropping open.  "All of this started because your
ex-girlfriend bruised your. . .friend?"

I nodded my head, glancing at him.  I grinned around the spoon of ice cream.
He was cute with the shocked look on his face.  Not that I noticed.

Damn, this denial - as Willow said it was - was getting harder and harder.

"So she breaks up with you and your mother - a bored housewife - took that
as her. . .mission in life?"

"Yea," I nodded.  "Support your gay son.  Hell, before Anya, I never even
really thought that I might be.  Granted, there was a guy or two that I
thought was handsome, but women always thought other beautiful women were
beautiful, so what would be wrong with finding Angel handsome?"

"Angel?" he asked with a frown.

I chuckled.  "An old. . .friend, I guess.  Well, not really, because he
hates me, but that's beside the point.  He lives in LA now.  Handsome man
though."  I glanced back at him under my lashes.  "You kinda remind me of
him."

He looked incredibly pleased.  "You think I'm handsome?"

I blushed and looked away.  "Maybe," I murmured.  I was flirting with him
now.  Oh god, I was flirting.

I was mortified!  I was flirting with a *guy* and I was *enjoying* it!  He
was making me giddy. . .no one had ever made me giddy like *this*.  Well, no
one but Spike.  He always had the ability to make me a little giddy, but I
wasn't thinking about the frustrating blonde at that moment.

His warm hand caressed my shoulder, sending jolts of desire through my body.
"You realize that straight men don't find other men attractive, Xander."

I blinked and looked at him.  "They. . .they don't?"

Oh my god.

They didn't?

I had no clue.

"No, they don't."  He frowned.  "Didn't you have guy friends growing up?"

"Well. . .I mean, there was Jesse, but he. . ."  I paused, swallowing hard.
"He died when we were 16.  Other than that, it's always been Willow, and
Buffy. . .now Tara. . .Buffy dated Angel, but he hated me, and Riley - that's
Buffy's boyfriend, he and I are friends, but we don't sit around talking
about other guys, so I guess. . .I mean, I assumed. . .There was Oz, but we
didn't talk, I didn't like him at all."

"Xander, I have an important question for you."

I turned to him.  "Yea?" I asked, somewhat fearfully.  What would he ask me?
How would he continue to blow my mind and everything I'd ever thought about
myself?

"Do your friends, do they support you?  Or would they completely shun you?
Could this be what's holding you back from discovering who you really are?"

I chuckled slightly, looking out over the campus of UC Sunnydale.  That's
where we'd ended up after dinner, sitting on a bench under an old oak tree,
eating ice cream.  It wasn't exactly the *safest* place to be, but I was
enjoying the night, and felt weird asking him to come back to the apartment.
Almost like I was scared something would happen.  I *knew* he was attracted
to me, I could see it in his fathomless brown eyes.

Besides, I had a stake in the pocket of my jacket.

"Yea," I murmured.  "Willow and Tara. . .Wills is my best friend, since like
we were five.  Tara's her girlfriend - they understand me, and listen to me
when I need someone to talk to about this.  They are sweethearts, both of
them.  Buffy. . .she'd freak, I think.  I mean, Willow said she almost
bolted when she told her about Tara, but she'd eventually be in my camp.
Giles. . ."  I laughed.  "Giles, he'd drink himself stupid."

"Who's Giles?"

I hadn't mentioned him, I supposed.

"Giles, oh, that's um. . ."  I frowned.  How did I explain who Giles was?
"Giles takes care of us.  He's sorta adopted us as his kids, I guess.  We
used to hang out in the library in high school - he was the librarian."

"Ahh," he said, nodding.  "And he'd freak?"

"Nope, just drink."  I chuckled.  "He's the closest thing to a father I've
ever had.  Mine is a jerk. . .he's always drunk, not the nicest guy in the
world."

"I'm sorry," he murmured.  "But. . .you have me too."

"Huh?" I asked, my head flying around to stare at him.  "I have you?" I
asked, my voice strangled.  What the hell did that mean?

He squeezed my shoulder again.  "I mean, you have me to be in your camp
 too," he nodded.  "It helps to have friends, Xander."

"Oh," I said softly.  "Oh!  Thanks, Mike."

"I'm glad you decided to come out with me tonight."  He grinned slightly.
"Even if it isn't a date.  It's been a lot of fun getting to know you - you
are as funny as my mom said your mom said.  You are a great guy, Xander.
Whoever you end up with - whether it male or female - you will make them
very happy."

I was lost in his eyes.  They were so dark, so beautiful - even though in
the back of my mind, I kept imagining twinkling blue eyes gazing back at
me - I could see him inching forward, and I knew I was.  He was going to
kiss me.

My breath caught in my throat.  Oh god, he was going to kiss me, and I was
going to kiss him and I was going to be kissing a man!

A throat cleared.

We both jumped away from each other and I licked my lips.  Damn it!  So
fucking close!

I glanced up and groaned.  It was the one part of this whole situation that
I *didn't* mention to Mike.  "Spike.  How nice to see you," I deadpanned.

His eyes were flecked in gold and his cheek was twitching.  He was obviously
mad about something - what the hell could be wrong with him now?  It had to
be my mom, there was nothing else to explain what could have the blonde so
angry.

"Harris," he growled.  He turned to Mike.  "And who the bloody hell are
 you?"

Mike stiffened, and I could feel the tenseness in the air.  "Friend of
yours?" he hissed.

This must have been the downside of being gay - being attacked by the common
folk.

"You could say that, though he hates me too.  Just as soon rip my heart
 out," I muttered.  I stood up.  "Spike, go away, please?  I'm. . .I have a
new friend, and I really don't want you scaring him off before I even get to
know him."

"I see how he was bloody trying to get to know you, mate," he sneered.  "He's
a Ponce, isn't he?  I saw how he was about to kiss you."

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.  "So?  What of it?  What the
hell do you want, Spike?"

"Xander," he said, his voice low and gravelly, with a touch of anger to it.
"Why are you with him?  You *aren't* a Poof."

I blinked.  What?  What was Spike doing?  Why was he saying I wasn't gay?
Why the hell did he even care?  "What are you talking about, Spike?
Granted, I haven't decided if I am or not, but it could happen."

"Trust me, Harris, you *aren't*.  I know a Poof when I see one.  Peaches?
He's a Poof.  You?  No bloody chance in hell."

I frowned, crossing my arms.  I couldn't figure out this new tactic of Spike
's to mess with my mind.

Mike stood up, shifting.  "Maybe I should just go home. . ."

"Maybe you should, Nancy boy," Spike growled.

"Right," Mike nodded.  "Ok.  Xander, I have your number. . .do you want me
to call tomorrow?"

"Of *course* he doesn't!" the vampire growled again.

I punched Spike in the shoulder.  "Shut *up*, Spike!" I hissed.  I turned to
Mike, hoping my eyes held enough of an apologetic look to them.  "That would
be great, Mike, I think I'd like that."

He flashed me a smile.  "Cool.  I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I'm sorry, Mike," I said softly.

"It's ok.  We'll talk more tomorrow," he grinned.  "See ya later, Xander."
He turned on his heel and jogged off into the night.

I watched him, the way his body moved.  He was *beautiful*.  Not as
beautiful as the demon standing next to me, but a definite bring home to mom
kinda guy.

I turned to Spike, clenching my hands into fists.  "What the fuck was that
for, Spike?  He was going to kiss me!  I'd been wanting him to all night,
and you went and scared him off!"

Spike shrugged, trying to hide his smirk.  "You are the one who said you
weren't a Ponce, moron."

I narrowed my eyes.  "That doesn't give you the right to stop me from
talking to someone."  I turned and started walking away from him.

He caught up to me and fell into step with me.  "Come on, Harris, I saved
you from all kinds of bloody embarrassment.  Why aren't you thanking me?"

"Get the hell away from me, Spike," I growled angrily.  "I don't want to
talk to you."

He stopped dead in his tracks.  I kept walking.  "What?" he asked, his voice
sounding kind of sad.  Why would Spike even care if I stopped talking to
him?

"I don't want to talk to you ever again.  Just stay the hell out of my life,
ok?" I asked, turning around and walking backwards.  "You aren't my friend,
you aren't my mate, or my 'chum'.  I can't stand you, and I just want you to
leave me the hell alone!  Why don't you go. . .fuck Harmony or something?
You two are perfect for each other."

His eyes flashed gold.  "Fine!" he hissed.  "See if I bloody care!"  He spun
on his heel and walked the other way.

With a sigh, I turned back around and started the lonely walk back to my
apartment.  Damn it!  Now I'd pissed Spike off, Mike was gone, and I had no
clue if I were gay or not.  And why the *hell* was Spike spouting off that I
wasn't!?  I knew I saw the lust in his eyes the night before.  I thought for
a minute there that he'd wanted me.  Damn demons!