*~*~*~*

"I can't stay here, Peaches. I can't stay in Sunnydale. Your little Slutty Slayer will stake me!"

Angel sighed, rubbing his eyes with frustration. He glanced up, watching his childe. Spike was leaning against an oak tree in the cemetery, smoking a cigarette. He'd called Angel in the middle of the night, telling him to come to Sunnydale. And now, his wayward childe was trying to convince him that he needed to take the blonde back to LA. "Spike. . ."

"I don't care about the bloody soul! I am your *childe*, Angelus! You did this, you made me have this life! The least you can do is bloody get me the hell out of this soddin' town. I'm not asking you to take care of me, just. . ." He frowned. "I just need a little help. There! Are you happy? I'm admitting it, I need the all knowing, all poofiness' help."

Angel reached out, clasping Spike's shoulder. "I will help you. You know that I will. You are my favorite childe," he said softly.

Spike grinned, then frowned. "Something's coming." He leaned around Angel. The frown deepened. Xander was running through the cemetery with a stake in one hand and a cross in the other. He looked completely freaked out. "It's the Nummy Treat." He stepped out, colliding with the boy as Xander slammed into him.

Xander untangled himself from Spike and jumped up, starting to run. Angel reached out and grabbed his arm, which caused Xander to spin back to him. Without even registering the fact that it was Angel, Xander slammed the cross down on the vampire's hand. "Let. Me. Go! Have to save Willow!"

Angel's hand recoiled at the stinging of the cross. "Damn it, Xander! What's wrong with Willow?"

Wild brown fear filled eyes met Angel's cool collected ones. "I'm killing Willow."

"What?" Spike roared, standing up. "You can't kill Red! Are you daft?"

"No," Xander said, "not *me*," he jabbed the non-pointed end of the stake into his chest. "The vampire me, from Willow and Puppy's universe! She called me, he's there, in her room, talking about making love and siring and forever!"

"What?" Spike asked, thoroughly confused.

"Holy shit," Angel swore. "Come on!"

Spike watched, bewildered, as Angel and Xander took off towards Willow's parent's house. He shrugged and followed.

*~*~*~*

Xander flew into Willow's room from the French Doors. "Deadboy, come in, come on! Junior, hurry up!" He turned and stopped, his mouth dropping open. There he was, stretched out on top of a shirtless Willow. He was running his lips all along her chest. She had her head thrown back, moaning softly.

"Bloody hell," Spike swore, stepping in next to Angel. "She's beautiful. Who the hell is. . ." He stopped when the vampire Xander looked up, eyes blazing amber.

"Spike," he hissed. "How *dare* you send me away and then come here! You won't have her. She *will* be mine."

Willow glanced over, blushing. She covered her breasts with one arm and put her other hand on Xander's shoulder. "Xand. . .that's my Spike."

The vampire turned, glaring at her. "Yours? You didn't tell me you were involved with him."

"No, no, not mine exclusively! I just meant the one who belongs in my world. Don't worry, he hates me."

Xander got up, stretching slightly. "Stay away from her, Blondie. I will kill you." He turned to Angel and cocked his head to the side. He clicked his teeth. "I know you. Where do I know you from?"

Angel's eyebrow rose. "You honestly can't tell who I am?"

Xander blinked in shock. "Puppy?" he whispered softly. "Puppy, is it really you?"

Willow and her human best friend watched the two vampires curiously. Xander had sat down on the bed and helped Willow get her shirt back on, checking her for bites. Once he was satisfied that she was alive and fine, they turned to talk to the visitors, realizing that Xander was recognizing Puppy.

"I'm who I am here."

"Willow said you were magnificent, but she never. . ." Xander ran his hand along Angel's chest. "You are *massive*. Back home you've almost wasted away to nothing, but here you are. . ." Before anyone realized the teenaged vampire was doing anything, he had Angel slammed against the wall, sucking on the older vampire's neck. Xander still had his human face on. He was only nibbling on the skin at his jugular.

Angel closed his eyes and pressed his hands against the wall, trying to ignore the delicious vampire in front of him. "Stop it," he whispered, without much conviction.

Willow looked at Xander, who was staring at the vampire version of himself in shock. "And I thought that *Willow* was kinda gay. Hell, look at you!" she exclaimed, waving her hand at the situation.

Spike leered at the two humans on the bed. "You know what they say, Xander. The demon doesn't change your personality too much, just takes guilt and inhibitions away."

"What, so you were a prick when you were a human?" Xander smirked.

Spike chuckled. "No, but I would have beaten you within an inch of your life. The demon didn't bring the homicidal urges."

Willow shuddered softly at the thought.

"Stop it!" Angel roared, pushing Xander away from him. "Don't! We are nothing here, and you can't come in and start doing this!"

Xander closed his eyes, calming his anger. "I can take you, Puppy. If I decide I want you, I can take you."

Spike crossed his arms. "Whelp thinks he's so bloody important. We should show him who the real vampires are." He smirked.

Angel reached out, putting his hand on Spike's shoulder. "No," Angel said. "In his world, he *is* the Big Bad. I'm just their slave, there for their enjoyment."

Spike stared at Angel in shock. "The Great Magnificent Poof? Someone's slave? Damn, Sire. Even as Peaches, you got that. . .air about you. I can't imagine the moron and Red even thinking of hurting you."

Xander's lips curled into a grin. "Puppy is wonderful. He tries so hard not to scream, not to let his demon out. . .but we do it every time. And when he screams, it's filled with such anguish. . .so much agony and pain." He smiled wistfully. "I bet I could make you scream," he told Angel.

Angel cocked an eyebrow. "I've been to Hell. Literally. I've lived in Los Angeles for a year, I have Cordelia Chase for an assistant. I love her to death, but she can't file to save her life."

"Hell, he screwed the Slayer," Spike added. "Came back to me and Dru as Angelus, took Dru right out from under my nose. . ."

"Spike," Angel said dangerously.

"What?" Spike said. "I was only helping your case! I know living with Dru following you around must have been hard. She's a little out of her mind, you know."

Everyone frowned at Spike. "What?" he asked. "I might be Love's Bitch, but I get the point when someone doesn't want me!"

Angel rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I've been through *all* of that. Do *you* think you could seriously make me scream? I doubt it, Xander."

Xander's lips curled into a grin. "Is that a challenge, old man?"

Willow stared at the whole situation in shock. "Ok, this is completely wiggy."

"You are telling me," the human Xander replied. He looked at Willow sharply. "Hey, why were you letting Xand touch you like that?"

"We calling him Xand now?" Willow asked.

"Yea, so we don't confuse him with me."

"Ok."

"So why were you letting him touch you like that? You would have slept with him, wouldn't you?" Xander asked softly.

"I. . .I don't want to talk about this." Willow stood up, putting her hand on Xand's back. "We need to get you back home, back to your Willow."

Xand turned, a grin on his face. "No, I want to stay here," he grinned. "I think I like it here. Besides, I have to make my Puppy scream."

Spike's eyebrow rose. < This kid is bloody amazing! > "Who is your Sire?" he asked.

Xand laughed, his eyes twinkling in mischief. "Darla sired me, but the Master taught me."

Angel sucked in an unneeded breath. "And you are one of his favorites."

"That I am, Puppy," Xand grinned. "So, are you three here to stop me from taking my Willow? I will take her, you know this."

Spike shook his head. "We need to go see the Watcher."

Xander nodded. "I have to agree with Spike." He leaned over, grabbing Willow's phone. He called Giles' house.

After three rings, Giles picked up the phone with an angry voice. "Bloody hell, it's two thirty in the morning. This had better be good. People better be dying," he growled.

"Giles, Xander. We need to have a meeting. Now," Xander said with a serious voice.

"Fine," Giles said angrily. "This had better be important, Xander, for you to wake me up in the middle of the night."

"Trust me, Giles. It is. I'm calling Buffy and Riley now."

*~*~*~*

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