*~*~*~*

The phone rang. Everyone looked at each other, and Xander shrugged. He leaned over and answered the phone. "Willow's house of discontent, this is the tragically affected Xander, can I help you?"

"Alexander Harris, when are you coming home?"

Xander blinked. "Anya?"

"Anya?" Xand echoed, looking at Willow. "Anya who?"

"That's his girlfriend, you know, Anyanka?"

"He's *dating* the demon who started all of this crap?" Xand asked, standing up. "How stupid is *that*?"

Spike shrugged. "Chit's human now. Her and moron shag like bunnies."

A look of discomfort passed over Xand's face. "Anyanka though? God, you all are idiots. I mean, first Cordelia, then Anya? And Willow's here the whole time?"

"Xander, when are you coming home?" Anya repeated, pulling Xander away from Xand's words. "I'm lonely and bored, and I want to have sex."

"Anya, right now is so not the right time."

"Did the vampire kill Willow? You rushed out of here really quickly, you know, saying that someone was going to kill her. But I *assumed* you'd call me by now, to either let me know if she was dead, or the vampire was dead."

"It's not that simple, Anya. It's me."

"What's you, Xander?" she asked.

"The vampire. It's me. You know that crazy little universe you and Cordelia created last year? Well, it's biting us in the ass. Again. Except this time, the vampire is wearing *my* face, and not Willow's," Xander explained.

Anya was quiet for a moment, then laughed. "You mean there are two of you? I can be stuck in a Xander sandwich? I *like* the way that sounds!"

"Honey. . . I don't think. . ."

"What? Will he not want me?" Anya asked defensively.

Xander stood up and started pacing. Things had taken a weird turn during the night. His most secret fantasy of Angel noticing him had happened. Well, the vampire didn't notice him *exactly*, more like noticed his vampire counterpart. With deflated shoulders, Xander realized that Angel would never want him, but would always want the vampire. The one who was strong enough to buck him at every endeavor. "Yea, Anya, I'll be home in a few. . ."

Angel was at Xander's side in an instant. He yanked the phone away from Xander. There was no way he was losing *his* human to an ex-demon. The soul didn't quite understand what the demon was thinking, but both agreed that they wanted *both* Xander's in their life. "Anya, this is Angel. . ."

"Angel? Buffy's Angel?"

Angel winced. "I don't belong to Buffy, Anya. I don't belong to anyone."

"Proved that this morning," Spike commented. Willow giggled.

"Well, what are you doing here? I thought you did the detective thing in LA. Are you coming back to Sunnydale?" Anya questioned.

"No, I'll be returning to Los Angeles, with the vampire Xander."

"Good for you. Please put my boyfriend back on the phone."

Angel glanced at Xander, and hoped the boy understood the demon's next reaction. "No, Anya. He belongs to me."

There was a long pause. Then, "What?"

"Xander, the human, your *ex*-boyfriend. He belongs to me."

"Oh, he most certainly does *not*," Anya countered.

Xander was staring at Angel with his mouth open. < I belong to him? He. . .he wants me? > He glanced at his vampire self. Xand was standing there, arms crossed, big smile on his face. < We both belong to him? Oh god, this just got a little weird. >

"He does," Angel said seductively. "Ask him." He handed the phone to Xander, who stared at him with a look of disbelief. "Go ahead, Xander. Tell the girl who you belong to."

Xander blinked, taking the phone from Angel. He looked down at it, then back up at Angel. "She's waiting," Angel shrugged, sitting down on the bed.

"Anya?" Xander said tentatively, wincing at the yelling he knew was coming.

"So. You belong to Angel now?"

"It would appear that he believes that, yes," Xander said softly.

"And what about you? Who do you want? Me or him?"

Xander looked up at Angel. He was the secret desire of his fantasies for almost five long years. "Anya, I. . ." He turned away, walking towards the door to have some privacy. "Anya, I've wanted Angel for years."

"So this is it. You are breaking up with me."

"Anya, I. . ."

"Don't, Xander," she said with a sigh. "I've heard you whisper his name in your sleep. I know that you carry this feeling for him, and that you always have."

Xander was shocked. < She'd always known? > "Anya. . ."

"Goodbye, Xander. I have to get off the phone now. I think this would be the time that I would go indulge in large amounts of chocolate ice cream. Are. . .are you ok?"

"I think so," Xander replied carefully.

"Ok. Call me sometime, let me know that you are ok." Xander heard the telltale click of the phone, knowing that she'd just hung up on him. He hit the disconnect button and sat the phone down. He went to the bed and sat next to Angel.

"Are you ok?" Angel asked softly.

Xander looked up at him. "Am I really yours?"

"Yes," Angel replied, giving the boy no room for argument.

"Does this mean I have to go back to LA with you?" Xander asked, looking up at the vampire who claimed him now.

"I'm not sure," Angel replied. "The Gang really needs you here. . ."

Willow snorted behind them. "Yea, right."

"Hey!" Xander cried, hurt that his best friend would laugh. "They do need me!"

"*She* doesn't need either of us," Willow replied. "Sure, she needed our help with Adam, because she couldn't do it herself, but you know, just as well as I do, that she went right back to Riley after that. And you know Riley asked Graham to help. The three of them have been patrolling every night. Have you noticed our lack of participation the last couple of months?"

A look of loss fell over Xander's face. "You are right. I hadn't really noticed, because I've been too busy with Anya, but she hasn't needed us." He looked down, chewing on his bottom lip.

"It's settled then," Angel said, standing up. "Xander and Xand will come with me."

Spike started to open his mouth, but Angel held up a hand to stop him. Spike's mouth clamped shut. He wrapped his arm around Willow's shoulders, waiting to see what the Poof would say after that. A small grin tugged at his lips when the witch subconsciously leaned into his embrace.

"Spike is coming also. He doesn't need to stay in Sunnydale around the Slayer. She's volatile and will probably end up staking him."

Willow pulled out of Spike's arms, a sad smile on her face. "Cool," she said, hiding her emotions. < They can all leave me here alone. Good for them. I have Tara, I don't need them. I hope. . .I hope they rot in hell. > "I'll help you pack." She turned and walked outside. She threw herself down in the chair, glad the sun wouldn't let anyone but Xander follow.

Xander turned to Angel, a look of hurt on his face. "No. I'm not going."

Angel frowned. "I didn't give you a choice, Harris."

Xander crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "I'm. Not. Going."

Xand chuckled from the corner, watching the exchange between human and vampire. He knew why Xander was refusing to go, but Angel couldn't see it. He watched as the muscles in Angel's neck tightened, the demon was struggling to get out and tell Xander Harris exactly what was to be expected from someone who belonged to him. "Ask him why, Angelus."

Angel turned angry eyes to Xand. "I don't need your help, boy."

Xand shrugged. "You are going to alienate him if you don't ask him why he's not going."

Angel sighed unnecessarily. "Why aren't you going, Xander?"

"I'm not leaving Willow here alone," Xander said, locking his lips in stubbornness.

Angel thought back over his conversation of claiming, and realized he'd never told the redhead he wanted her in LA too. "Damn it," he swore softly. He gazed out onto the balcony, knowing that the sun kept him from going out there to tell her she was invited. "Go fix it, Harris."

Xander's eyebrow rose, and he grinned. "Cool." He spun on his heel and headed outside to the balcony.

"You know, that boy will be the unraveling of you," Spike said, clasping Angel's shoulder. "You've got Xand completely under your claims, because he is a vampire. He understands the rules of domination. But Xander? He's merely human. He'll tear you apart at the seams."

"As if Willow won't do the same to you," Angel smirked.

Spike shrugged. "It's all a part of being Love's Bitch."

*~*~*~*

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