TITLE: Distractions, Distractions (aka April's Folly)
AUTHOR: Tiffany Park
EMAIL: anderson7836@comcast.net
STATUS: Complete
CATEGORY: Rather dubious humor, smut-free slash, missing scene (sort of), pure fluff, parody
SPOILERS: Broca Divide
SEASON: Season One
PAIRINGS: Makepeace/Johnson established relationship (just go with it...)
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNINGS: A bad word or two, plus innuendo, humor in questionable taste, limp stereotypes, and a reference to a beer commercial. Let's not forget the extensive creative license. You guys already know about the slash angle, right? Don't worry, there's no smut lurking in here to blind your poor, innocent eyes.
SYNOPSIS: What was going through Johnson's head during the pre-mission briefing in Broca Divide? Probably not this. *G*
ARCHIVE: You have got to be kidding.
DISCLAIMER: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'd hang my head in shame, but really, this is all Besterette's and Wendy's fault. Blame them.

Another day, another boring meeting. How does Robbie manage to stay awake for these things? Maybe he's learned how to sleep with his eyes open. These Air Force dweebs are so long-winded. Hmmmmm, look what's sitting across the table from me. That Jaffa guy, what's his name? Teal'c. Right.

Damn, he is hot, with a capital H. I can't take my eyes off him. I wonder if he's noticed. Oh, shoot, he just did. He didn't look happy about it, either. I bet he's straight. Ah, well, I can dream, can't I?

Stop looking at Teal'c, fool, before Robbie catches you and gets the wrong idea. Too late, he's pulling the stoneface routine. Guess I'm gonna be groveling for a while.

I suppose I could pay attention to General Hammond. I wonder if he's going to say something that isn't already in this report here. Doesn't anyone bother to read these things before they come to the meeting?

Nope, guess not.

Huh, those Air Force pansies and their pet geek are scared of the dark. Gee, there's a surprise.

Wait a minute, what's that Robbie just said about watching their backsides? Sometimes he is such a slut. Look at those fools over there. They think he was talking about babysitting. Oh, crap, now he's giving Jackson the head cock and That Look.

If anyone else had mouthed off at him like that he'd have torn 'em a new one, but with Jackson he flirts. I'll bet he's just doing it to make me jealous. Well, it worked, you SOB. I am so gonna make you sorry for that.

Just you wait, Colonel Blue Eyes. Tonight is gonna be something special.

April 1, 2003

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